28. Brent
Pop Princess And Puck Boy
“Loft party, everybody!” Mitch yelled over the celebration in the locker room. “It’s mandatory!”
“For everyone?” one of the rookies asked.
“Everyone,” Mitch confirmed. “That means you, too, Coach! Don’t you dare think about sneaking away and going home without stopping by for a beer! I want everyone there. This was a big win.”
I nodded. “Agreed. But…we still have twelve more to go.”
“Live a little, Jean,” Mitch said. “We can go back to work tomorrow. Enjoy tonight with us and your girl. I bet she’s as excited as we are.”
Thanks to a goal in the final minutes of the third period—scored by yours truly—we beat the Regents for the fourth time, advancing us in the playoffs. I was flying high, and I knew Mitch was right. Tonight, we could let loose and celebrate a little harder than normal. I couldn’t wait to see Berkley, to share this excitement with my girl.
Me: Loft party! Meet me there! Bring my fam!
Berk: Even your parents?
Me: Okay maybe not my parents, but definitely Nate and Kenz.
Berk: You got it babe. See you soon.
After the fastest shower of my life, I practically ran out of the arena, hopping in my truck and peeling out toward Greektown.
My eyes landed on Berkley the second I walked through the loft door, her body drawing mine in like a homing beacon.
Her eyes lit up at my appearance, and she raced toward me. We met halfway, and I scooped her into a hug and swung her around, planting a kiss on her still-smiling mouth. All these months later, it had become our customary post-game greeting.
“You were amazing!” she breathed, exactly as she had that first time. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks, baby,” I said, grinning down at her.
“I really thought you were going to lose your shit after that goal went off your skate, though.”
I groaned. “God, don’t remind me. I didn’t even see our next goal because I was too busy wallowing.”
Late in the second period, one of the Regents players had taken a slap shot from the point. I’d shifted slightly, hoping to block it. Instead, it bounced off my skate and into the open net. I’d skated to the bench, feeling like an absolute asshole, and had missed Rat and Grey scoring on a two-on-one breakaway seconds later.
“Well, it all worked out, didn’t it?” Berkley said.
“Sure did,” I replied, bending to kiss her again, this time long, hard, and slow, both of us out of breath when we broke apart at last.
“How long do we have to stay?” she asked against my mouth, fingers curled in my shirt so I couldn’t stray too far from her side.
Not that I ever would. I’d fucking superglue myself to her if she let me.
I trailed my nose along her jaw before pressing a kiss right below her ear. “You don’t want to celebrate?”
“Oh, I want to celebrate. Just…at home. With you. Naked.”
I laughed, knowing the feeling all too well. Every second of every day, my body ached for her, craved her touch, begged to be buried inside her.
I pulled away to study her face, gauging her level of seriousness. “You mean it? You really don’t want to stay?”
“And I repeat,” she said, rising onto tippy toes to whisper in my ear. “You. Home. Naked.”
“My three favorite words,” I said with a wicked grin, grabbing her hand and pulling her from the loft. So many people milled about that no one would miss us, and I couldn’t think of anything I wanted right now more than to be skin on skin with my girl.
I hadn’t felt this crazed and wild since the day the trade rumors broke.
Lucky for me, Berkley loved me untethered.
When we pushed inside my apartment not ten minutes later and slammed the door behind us, I backed Berkley into it, my mouth pressing into every inch of smooth, exposed skin I could reach. I lingered at the base of her throat, the spot where the scent of her perfume was strongest, licking the ends of her collarbones.
“You make me fucking insane,” I told her as I hooked my hands behind her thighs and lifted her off her feet. She wound those sexy legs around my waist, and her hands dug into my hair, tugging on fistfuls until I looked at her. “Will this ever stop?”
“I hope not,” she said as she sealed her lips over mine.
I walked us back into my room, our mouths connected, tongues dancing together. I set Berkley on her feet only long enough for us to strip out of our clothes with record speed.
And then we were atop the mattress, Berkley’s thighs widening to welcome my hips between them. I fisted myself, my head slipping through Berkley’s wetness.
“We can play later,” I told her as I drove home.
“Fuck,” she breathed, her back arching slightly, hips shifting to take me all the way. Her skin was already flushed, and I hadn’t even moved yet. “I’ll never get over how good you feel inside me.”
“You like my cock, Berk?”
“Love it.”
I started to move then, quick pulses of my hips designed to push Berkley right to the edge and over as quickly as possible. “You like when I fuck you like this? When my control snaps and I take you hard and fast?”
The way she dug her nails into my shoulders—hard enough that I wouldn’t be surprised if she pierced the skin—said enough. Her eyes were closed, head thrown back, mouth open on a moan; fuck, the sight of her like this made me feel more powerful than anything. I was a superstar on the ice, yes, but being the reason this girl came apart the way she did? Knowing I was the only one that could do this for her, the only one who got to see her like this? It appealed to my baser instincts as a man.
“I love you like this,” I said, my words exhaled on choppy breaths. “Spread out below me, skin flushed that pretty pink color I love so much. I even love those nails digging into my back. You could draw blood and I’d thank you for it. I’ll fucking worship you like this every day if you let me.”
Berkley moaned my name, and I grinned.
Sitting back on my heels, I pulled her up with me, settling her over my lap.
“Fuuuuuuck,” she whispered into the crook of my neck. “So good. So deep like this. Please, baby.”
Her half-sentences and whispered pleas meant she was close, so I cupped her ass, holding her close as I said, “Take what you need.”
Berkley began to move in earnest, riding me like her life depended on it, using her hands on my shoulders to leverage herself up and down. The way her tits bobbed in my face was distracting enough that I cupped them together and buried my face between them, laving her skin with my tongue. I latched onto a nipple, sucking it deep into my mouth, scraping my teeth over the tight, sensitive peak. Berkley’s cry of pleasure heated my blood as I gave the other the same treatment.
Then I pulled away and watched in awe and fascination as she used my body to chase her own release. In this moment, bouncing up and down on my cock like it was her fucking job? Her pretty pussy stretched around me and that perfect little clit rubbing against my happy trail? Fucking drenched, making a mess of a us both? Berkley was every man’s wet dream and fantasy girl come to life.
And she was all mine.
Damn, it was good to be me.
My release gathered at the base of my spine, my balls tightening in anticipation.
“Hand.”
Pressing my thumb to her clit, I circled it once, twice. That was all it took before Berkley shattered. She came with a cry, throwing her head back as her orgasm rocked her, pussy clamping around my cock so tightly there was nothing I could do to stop my own release from tearing me apart. While she shook in my arms, riding out the aftershocks, I lazily pumped into her, working us through it as I spilled and spilled inside her. My face fell to the crook of her neck as I attempted to control my breathing.
Who needed cardio when I got to fuck this girl every day?
When at last we stilled, we pulled apart and I slipped free from her body. I got up to get a cloth and came back, gently cleaning her up. Then we curled together, and I pressed a kiss to the top of her head; she hummed happily.
“For the record,” she said, voice hoarse as she drifted off to sleep. “I love when you fuck me, yes. But I love when we make love, too. I love you in all ways.”
I grinned against her hair. “I love you in all ways, too.”
I woke the next morning to find the bed empty beside me. Before I opened my eyes, I strained my ears, listening for any sign of Berkley in the condo.
Only silence and stillness greeted me, the sheets at my side cool to the touch.
Wherever she was, she’d been gone for a while.
“What the fuck?” I grumbled, climbing out of bed and shoving my legs into an abandoned pair of sweatpants before padding out of the room.
“Berk?” I yelled, unsurprised when I received no response. Still, I walked through every room before retreating to grab my phone.
“Hello?” she said when she answered, her tone cold as ice.
“Uhh…hi.”
“What do you want, Brent?”
“What’s with the attitude? Where are you? Why aren’t you still in my bed where you should be?”
“I don’t know,” she said with a snort. “Maybe you should ask the little pop princess you were hanging out with in New York.”
“What the fuck are you—” I began, but Berkley had already hung up.
Each of my subsequent calls went straight to voicemail, and I nearly threw my phone across the room in frustration. I sat down hard at the foot of my bed and dropped my head into my hands.
What the fuck was she talking about? When we’d been in Buffalo, I went from the rink to the hotel to the bus and back. I’d only been out of sight of my teammates when we were sleeping. There had been no time for “hanging out” with a “pop princess,” and even if there had been, why the fuck would I want to? I was really fucking happy in my relationship, thank you very much.
After another minute of wallowing, I knew the only way I’d get answers was to confront Berkley directly. I shot to my feet, threw on a shirt, stuffed my feet into my house slippers, and bolted out the door.
When I reached Berkley’s, I half expected her to leave me in the hallway. Thankfully, she opened up right away, and I nearly went to my knees at her feet.
Her eyes were red-rimmed, face splotchy and tear-streaked, and she didn’t meet my eyes as she said, “What?”
“Can I come in?”
With a heavy sigh, she stepped aside.
I moved into the middle of her living room, crossed my arms over my chest, and stared her down.
“Care to tell me what this is about?”
Wordlessly, Berkley grabbed her phone from the kitchen counter and held the screen out to me. It was pulled up to some sort of tabloid article, an overexposed photo of a man who could be me with his arm wrapped around a tall, skinny woman below the blaring headline.
POP PRINCESS AND PUCK BOY HIT THE TOWN
“Berk, I don’t know what you think that is, but it’s not me.”
She held up a hand. “Save it. You think I don’t recognize you? I don’t want to hear whatever bullshit story you’ve conjured up to get yourself out of this. I will forgive a lot, Brent. I will compromise for you, concede, give away pieces of myself until you’re holding everything I have. But I draw the line at cheating. I will not allow another man to make a fool out of me.”
“I have never cheated on you. I promised you that night in Frankenmuth that I would never hurt you like that, and I’ve kept my word. Why would I want to? You are everything to me.”
“This picture was taken while you were in Buffalo, Brent. How do you explain that?”
“How do you even know that’s me? Sure, the guy looks kinda like me, but that doesn’t mean anything. And the only reason you think it was taken in Buffalo is because whoever wrote that said so! Tabloid reporters have a tendency to lie, Berkley.”
“Because I know your face and body better than my own,” she said. “Even in a shitty paparazzi photo, I’d know that’s you anywhere.”
“I have never cheated on you,” I repeated. “I wasn’t with some girl in Buffalo over the weekend. How did you even find that?”
“I set up Google alerts for your name after the trade deadline fiasco, but that’s not the point.”
“Then what is the point? If you’d just let me expl—”
“I don’t want explanations from you,” she said. “I don’t want lies. I want…This is all moving so fast, and I feel like I got caught up in the novelty of it all. With law school ending soon, and me taking the Bar in a few months, I haven’t had the chance to just sit and breathe for longer than a second since we started dating. I need to breathe, Brent. I need space. I…I can’t do this with you right now.”
“So that’s it. We’re just done?”
“I don’t know. This picture triggered some shit for me, and right now I’m just not sure I can trust you. You know what I’ve been through.”
“Exactly. I know what you’ve been through, and that’s not the kind of man I am! Where is this even coming from? Why can’t you believe me when I tell you I wasn’t with some girl this weekend?”
“Because pictures don’t lie, Brent! I know that’s you with your hands all over someone else! I’ve given enough to this relationship. I will not give away my dignity, too.”
“And you don’t think I’ve given anything?”
“You’ve given nothing,” she said on a harsh laugh. “I’ve been the only one making sacrifices here! My anonymity, my free time, my body, my heart.”
“Berkley…”
“No, Brent. You’ve asked so much of me these last months.”
“I have not.”
She gave me a sad smile. “You have. Maybe not in so many words, but simply being your girlfriend is asking a lot of me. Maybe more than I signed up for. I don’t want to only be known as Brent Jean’s girlfriend. I’m my own person, with my own identity, my own dreams. I can’t have everything I’ve worked so hard for, all of my accomplishments, be shoved to the side in favor of being your plus one for the rest of my life.”
I didn’t know what to say. I was struck completely dumb by the abrupt left turn we’d taken from last night. How had we gone from skin on skin confessions and falling asleep happily in each other’s arms to…this?
“I…” I started. “My body, my heart, my…everything is yours Berkley. Everything.”
“And that doesn’t scare you?”
“Not even a little bit,” I answered honestly. “It’s been the easiest thing in the world for me.”
“Well it fucking terrifies me,” she said, voice cracking. “And I’m not sure I want it. I’m not sure I can give you that in return.”
“Baby, you already have. And I’m not asking you to give up a single piece of who you are. I love you in all ways, remember?”
She turned away from me then, and the sight of her back hit me with a finality that hadn’t yet penetrated until now.
All at once, I could feel it deep in my bones, as sure as I knew my own name. As sure as I knew the sun would rise in the east tomorrow, that the world would keep spinning, that I was meant to play hockey—I knew.
Berkley was about to leave me.
Fear zipped down my spine. I had done this. I had ruined us.
And I didn’t even know how.
“I need time and space,” she said. “I need you to leave.”
“Baby, don’t do this.”
I would do anything she asked if it meant stopping the words I knew were coming.
Her shoulders hunched as she wrapped her arms around herself, her head hanging, hair hiding her face from view as I moved to stand in front of her. If only she would look up, look at me, remember what we had—what she was about to let go of—I was certain we could figure this out.
As if I’d manifested it, Berkley raised her head and locked her watery eyes on mine, taking a deep, shaky breath.
“I can’t be with you anymore,” she said, the words wobbling.
My heart stopped, and my legs gave out. I dropped my knees before her.
“Berkley, don’t do this. I love you, and we can figure this out. The picture…it’s all a big misunderstanding. Just, please, baby…show me and let me explain.”
She swiped at a tear on her cheek, and my heart cracked in my chest. Her crying was bad enough, but the fact that she was crying because of me? That was fucking unacceptable.
“I love you, too. But I don’t think that’s enough. I just think we’re way too different, and we’ve been fooling ourselves since the beginning into thinking this could work. You need someone who is okay with being in the public eye, someone who is docile and content being nothing more than arm candy for you, using your name to up her Instagram status. That’s not me, Brent. It’ll never be me. I think it’s best we just cut ties now.”
“No,” I said forcefully, rising to my feet. “I don’t need anyone or anything but you.”
“Brent, I can’t.” Her voice broke, and she turned from me again. “Please, just go.”
“Berk…” I reached out, brushing my fingers over her shoulder, convinced I could change her mind if I could just wrap her in my arms. Instead, she recoiled from my touch, and my hand dropped to my side. My mind was running a thousand miles a minute, searching for something to tether me to her, something that could keep me in her life long enough to make her see reason.
“Please. Just leave.”
When I reached the door, I turned to look at her. The picture she painted broke my heart in a million pieces.
“I love you,” I whispered, though it was quiet enough in her apartment that I knew my words carried to her. “I’m not giving up that easily.”
Then, against my every instinct, knowing there would be no reasoning with her right now, I walked away from the love of my life.