Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
JAZZLYN
I never in my life felt as gutted as I felt when I realized Amina was coming out of my husband’s suite at the Ritz.
I thought my worst heartbreak was during college, while I was in Paris after my boyfriend of a year broke up with me to “work on himself,” but that wasn’t shit compared to how I was feeling now.
It had been two weeks, and I had confined myself to the bed in Priest’s guest room.
Ahkeem kept pushing this narrative that he didn’t sleep with Amina, but how could I possibly believe him? What proof did he have?
I didn’t know what to do, where to start, or where to go.
I had been contemplating calling up Abraham to have someone in his firm draw up some divorce papers, but I never found the courage to do so.
Ahk was the love of my life. He made my heart swell and beat in ways I had never felt before.
He was the only person who could get me to smile, even if I didn’t want to.
He saw me for who I truly was and not the persona I was forced to carry in order to keep up my reputation.
I didn’t have to be strong with him. He let me break down in his arms and never made me feel weak for doing so.
I never felt as protected with any man as I did with him. In my mind, he was who I was gonna grow old with and live life with forever. The thought of all those dreams going down the drain made my heart feel gutted and destroyed.
Prior to him, I always told myself I would never in my life give a man this much power.
With him, though, shit just happened. One minute, I had my guards up, then the next, I was falling to pieces in his arms, and he was healing each and every scar and trauma I had, even the ones he didn’t inflict.
When he told me he loved me, I felt that shit in each and every bone in my body.
How could I move on from that?
This shit made me physically feel sick.
There was a knock on the door, one so gentle I barely heard it. Whoever it was didn’t bother to wait for me to give them clearance to enter before the door was slowly pushed open.
“Auntie Jazz?” Genesis’ sweet voice sounded through my ears.
I had my back facing the doors. I quickly wiped the tears that fell from my eyes. “Hey, Gen. You okay?” I forced a weak smile before sitting up.
He nodded his head, causing his hair to bounce. It was freshly blown out instead of being in the braids Britain usually kept them in, which meant he was about to get a new style and line up. I tapped the spot on the bed next me, and he shuffled over and crawled into it.
“I’m okay. Mommy and Daddy are looking for me so she can do my hair.”
I cracked my first laugh all week. “You’re always ducking getting your hair done.”
“It hurts.”
“Not for too long.”
“Mommy takes forever,” he groaned.
I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the top of his head. “You know you’re gonna have to get your hair done eventually, right?”
“Until they find me.” He shrugged his little shoulders.
“You using me to hide?”
He shook his head. “I wanted to see if you were okay too.”
It stung a little that I had my nephew concerned. I always tried to keep my spirits high around him, Blue, and J’Ream, so the fact that he noticed I wasn’t okay made me realize I was in a very dark space.
I managed to pull on another small smile as I cupped his handsome little face. It was crazy how much he looked so much like Priest with small specks of Britain. “I’m okay, Gen. I’m strong. I’ll get back to myself eventually.”
“Where’s Uncle Ahk?”
I bit down on my bottom lip while trying to figure out how to answer his question. I had no fucking clue where Ahkeem was. “Can I be honest with you?” He nodded his head, prompting me to respond to his question. “I have no clue, but I’m sure you can call him. He always answers for you.”
“Maybe later. I’ll ask if Blue can come over.”
At the end of the day, Ahkeem would always be considered family. I wanted our issues to remain our issues. I didn’t want anybody carrying resentment toward him. It was easier said than done when it came to my brother, J’Ru, and Kaymen, but I knew they would eventually calm down.
There was another knock on the door, causing Genesis’ eyes to widen, and he ducked underneath the duvet.
“Yo, Gen, you got five seconds before ya moms get to snapping,” Priest warned him as he popped his head into the room. “She halfway up the stairs.”
He knew he had gotten caught and pulled the duvet from over his head. “But, Daddy,” he whined.
“Listen, if you keep giving her a hard time, then she gets on me about you not listening. I can’t keep catching heat for you, lil’ man,” Priest stressed.
Genesis stressed the hell out of Priest constantly, mostly due to Britain always nagging him about enabling Genesis’ behavior. The boys were like two peas in a pod, so Priest was always helping him get over on her.
“Genesis Truce Justice, you just made me climb these stairs looking for you,” Britain huffed out with her hand on her hip.
Defeat set in for him, and his shoulders sulked. “Bye, Auntie Jazz.”
“Bye, Gen,” I laughed before kissing his cheek. He climbed out of the bed and shuffled his way toward his parents.
Britain let him know she would meet him downstairs, and he went on his way. Soon as he was out of earshot, I could see the concerned look that masked both of their faces.
“You good, Jazzy?” Priest asked as he dropped his hands into the pockets of his sweats.
As always, I nodded my head and put up a front. “I’m fine.”
“You sure? You haven’t really eaten anything aside from oatmeal here and there. And you haven’t left this room for a little minute.” Britain frowned.
I sighed while raking my fingers through my unkempt hair. My roots had sweated out, and I was in need of a good blow dry and press.
“I’ll grab something to eat in a little while. I promise.”
She eyed me a little while longer and wanted to press the issue, but Genesis calling for her downstairs prevented her from doing so. “Talk to her,” I heard her say to Priest before they kissed and she left the room, shutting the door behind her.
A heavy sigh escaped him as he eyed me. His stare had always been intense. It made me feel like he was dissecting me and analyzing the deepest parts of my soul. With me being so broken at the moment, I didn’t have the strength to endure his gaze longer than I had to.
“What, Priest?” I asked him, wanting him to get to the point.
He trudged over to the windows and extended his long arms up before pulling back the curtains to let some sunlight into the room. I winced at how bright the room became. I had been living like a vampire for the past week. The shit was unhealthy, but it made me feel better, or so I thought.
“Get the fuck up.”
“What?”
He smacked his lips. “You heard what the fuck I said, Jazzy. Get the fuck up.”
“And do what?”
“Go see about your fucking husband. His ass been blowing me up nonstop. I had to take his name off the entrance list at the gate of the community ‘cause he been popping up every damn day. Clearly, he wants to talk.”
I had been so ducked off in the guest room that I never got the chance to catch up with my brother. I never knew Ahk was stopping by and calling him.
I blocked him off everything, which didn’t work because he always found a way to contact my phone. I just resorted to turning it off all together. I shut the entire world out, and I didn’t want to be bothered.
“The only thing to talk about is a fucking divorce,” I muttered.
He copped a seat at the end of the bed before shaking his head. “You don’t mean that shit.”
“Yes, the fuck I do. Please don’t tell me you believe his ass?”
He scratched the back of his head before shrugging his shoulders, letting me know there was a part of him that believed what Ahkeem was telling him. “Are you fucking serious, PJ?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I mean… the nigga swore on Saphir’s head that he ain’t fuck her. He been part of this family long enough for me to know he don’t play ‘bout his son.”
“I’m sorry, but that isn’t enough for me.” Niggas swore on their innocent children every damn day. Ahk wouldn’t be the first or the last.
“That’s fair.” He nodded, accepting my answer. “I still feel like you should have a conversation with him. He’s fucked up about all this, and from the looks of it, you are too. I ain’t never seen you like this. This ain’t you, and I need you to shake back.”
Hearing him say that caused a burning sensation to scorch my eyes as I held back tears. “I don’t know how to.”
I had always been the type to get kicked down and hop right back up. In this matter, I just couldn’t muster up the strength to get back up like I usually would.
“You’re not meant to have a blueprint or a step-by-step plan. Just do what makes you happy.”
My tears finally broke free and cascaded down my face. “He makes me happy.”
“I know. So, you know what you have to do. If I ain’t think Ahkeem was the man for you, I would’ve already put that nigga down soon as you called me crying.
Y’all love each other just like Gioia and I do.
Y’all are just young with bad tempers and bad communication when shit gets dicey.
Let’s say he is lying and he actually did fuck Amina.
If you decide to take him back, nobody will judge you.
Love ain’t designed the same for everybody.
Niggas who stand on principles learn their lesson and never do the same shit twice.
Hear the crazy nigga out, then make your move.
Whatever you decide, you know me and Brit rocking with you. ”
I appreciated the support my brother was giving me. He always knew what to say and was so wise. I opened my arms up, indicating that I needed a hug. With a chuckle, he granted me the hug before kissing my cheek.
“What did his crazy ass do?” I asked, referring to Ahkeem.