Chapter 22 #2
He sighed deeply with a shake of his head. “He rammed his fucking car through the entry gate of the community when the guard wouldn’t let him in. I ain’t wanna bother you with that shit.”
My eyes widened at the extremes Ahk was willing to take it to. “He did what?!”
“Yeah. Got the whole H.O.A. on our ass. Nigga do too much. All I did was take his name off the list for a little minute, and now he ramming gates and shit.”
“I’m sorry.” A guilty look spread across my face. “I’ll pay for it.” I reached for my phone, ready to turn it on and send him a payment for the damages they invoiced him with after Ahkeem’s crazy ass broke down the gate.
Priest took the phone out of my hand and tossed it down on the bed. “Don’t need you using that phone for nothing aside from calling Ahkeem’s ass.”
I thanked him for all of his advice, and he left the guest room after setting a kiss on my forehead.
My phone powered on next to me, and the number of backdated notifications that hit me all at once had me considering shutting it off again.
Once it finally stopped buzzing, I unblocked Ahkeem’s number and called him before I got in my own head and convinced myself not to.
It didn’t even ring for a second before he answered. “Lovey?”
I stayed silent. My words were lodged in my throat as all my emotions began hitting me all at once. I could hear the stress in his voice, and it fucked me up.
“C’mon, baby. Talk to me.”
I bit down on my bottom lip while searching for the words to say that wouldn’t lead me to tears and breaking down. “We should talk. You can come over to PJ’s house.”
“I don’t think that’s gone work. I crashed my whip through the gate the other day and threatened the guard.”
“Enter through the resident's gate. I hid a copy of the key card in your glove compartment in case of any emergencies,” I enlightened him.
I could hear a smile pull onto his lips through the phone. “Wish I fucking knew about that sooner. Give me twenty minutes. I copped me an AirBnB nearby.”
This nigga really was crazy. I okayed him before ending the call. I sprung out of bed so fucking fast. Just because I was wallowing and on the verge of being depressed didn’t mean I had to look like it when he pulled up. Luckily, I had already showered and taken care of my hygiene.
I made use of each second of the twenty minutes it took for him to pull up.
I still didn’t have the energy to do too much, so I put on a cute Lululemon legging set and my matching jacket.
I slicked my hair back with a little gel and water before wrapping it in a bun.
With a bare face and lip gloss, I felt as good as I could feel, despite the circumstances.
When I made it downstairs, Britain was on the couch with Genesis between her legs, doing his hair, and Priest sat next to her working on his laptop while rubbing her belly. A smirk canvassed her face as she peeped me walk by so I could get the door. I waved her off and fetched the door.
Ahk stood at the front with a nervous look on his face. From the looks of it, I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t catching any sleep. Bags weighed down his eyes, which had darks circles around them.
It was clear that he missed me as much as I missed him. Neither of us knew how to react. Shit was still tense, so we had to check the temperature with each other.
“We can talk in the pool house.”
He agreed. I shut the door behind me and decided to take the side gate to the pool house instead of leading him through the house in front of PJ and his family.
The tension between us was thick. When we were finally in the pool house, we took a seat across from each other at the table in the kitchenette. He reached into his pocket and pulled out my engagement ring and wedding band. He set them in the center of the table before pushing them toward me.
“Lovey, I can’t do life without you,” he declared while peering into my eyes.
His gaze was so intense, I looked away. “What happened, Ahkeem?”
“I went to the bar, and she pulled up. I had no fucking clue she was staying at the same hotel. Had I fucking known, I probably would’ve checked out. We had drinks and chopped it—“
I interrupted him. “You told her we were having issues?”
“Not really.”
“The fuck does that mean, Ahk?”
He let out a heavy breath. “I was in the hotel bar getting faced. I couldn’t hide the fact shit was fucked up between us even if I tried. I ain’t tell her what was going on. The only people I vent to about our shit is you and God.”
It was true. Ahkeem wasn’t the type of person to seek advice when it came to our relationship. Most of the time, Priest only got involved because I always retreated to him when things got bad.
He continued. “All we did was talk at the bar. I got mad drunk, and she claimed she was helping me to my suite. I can admit, that was some dumb-ass shit to do on my part. If she was a grimy-ass bitch, she definitely could have set me up to get knocked off with how fucking stupid I was being. I ended up knocking out and woke up to my dick in her mouth and her topping me off. My shit wasn’t even on hard, so that’s how you know I wasn’t on that type of time with shorty.
The only pussy I want to slide into is yours.
I don’t even think I can bust a nut for another bitch. ”
“I’m just supposed to trust you?”
“That’s all you can do, Lovey. I ain’t never lied to you before, and I’m not about to make this the start.
If I did fuck the bitch, I would have told you.
I stand on my shit, right or wrong.” He got out of his seat and got on his knees in front of me.
“I asked you to marry me. I gave you my last name. I trust you with everything. You treat my son like you birthed him. I know what type of woman I came up on. I’m not gone fuck it up for myself, especially over a bitch I done already had and saw how it ended. You gotta believe me, Lovey.”
Tears slipped from my eyes as I looked down at his hands.
Truth was… I did believe him. I just felt stupid that I did.
I was so used to men hurting me, so much so that there was a little nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me he was lying.
I hated being played, and my fear was getting in the way of me accepting the fact that Ahkeem really didn’t fuck Amina.
He grabbed the rings from the table and slid them back on my left hand.
“This shit forever. I fucking love you, Jazzlyn Kinza Hendrix. I’m sorry for all this shit.
I should’ve never put you in a position to have to beat a bitch’s ass for our marriage.
I let that hoe in. That’s on me. I’m also sorry for not making you feel safe enough to tell me about you being pregnant. ”
By now, I was in full tears while he held my hands in his. He remained on his knees in front of me, not giving a damn how it made him look. He always told me that he had no shame in begging for our love. Seeing him on his knees proved that to me.
I shook my head. “That wasn’t the case. I knew I was wrong.
That’s why I hid it from you. Life just hit me too fast, and I went into fight or flight.
With me, I always pick flight and end up doing fucked up shit.
I made a selfish decision because I knew if I told you, we would’ve kept it.
I wasn’t ready to put a stop to what I had going on to be a mother.
And with me, I can only be good at something if I’m 100 percent dedicated to it.
I feared that I would’ve been a half-ass mother just like Sylvia. ”
My reasons may not have been the same as other people’s in this situation, but it was my truth. Based off the look on his face, I could tell he was having a hard time digesting what I said, but he didn’t judge me.
“I ain’t judging you for having an abortion.
It’s your right as a woman to have the final say in what you do with your body.
I just wish you would’ve consulted with me and included me in your decision.
That baby was half of me. I deserved a say in what went down.
You went through that shit alone. I wasn’t there to hold your hand or comfort you.
I couldn’t even tap in with you mentally ‘cause I ain’t know you were going through it.
You hid it from me, and that shit hurt. You right.
I would have wanted my baby. You made the decision for both of us, and that shit not fair. ”
I could see the pain in his eyes as he spoke.
They even glossed a bit, letting me know that tears were building up within him.
That shit broke me. Ahkeem was as strong as they came in my opinion, so seeing him like this devastated me.
I never wanted to be the source of his pain, just as much as he didn’t want to be the source of mine.
I wasn’t the only person hurting, and I needed to acknowledge that.
I wrapped my arms around him, and we hugged each other.
In my chest, he cried right along with me.
I took away his second chance at fatherhood.
I knew it really fucked with him because with Saphir, he didn’t get the chance to experience Brooke being pregnant or being in labor.
He found out about Saphir when he was a few months old, so he missed a couple of firsts.
He always talked about how he wanted to be there every step of the way for me.
My abortion stripped him of that… again.
“I just wanna do this shit right with you, Lovey. We not perfect, but I’m willing to fight for it,” he asserted, still in tears.
I wiped the tears from his eyes as he reached up and did the same for me. “I’m sorry, Pa. I will never hurt you like that ever again,” I apologized before leaning in and kissing his lips.
“Me too. Ain’t no bitch ever gone feel like they got the one up on you as my wife. I love you, Lovey,” he said once we parted from the kiss.
He stood up, and in one sift motion, he lifted me from the chair and wrapped my legs around him. “I love you too, Pa.”