Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
JAZZLYN
I had been pricked, prodded, and examined for hours.
Priest called in a favor with Britain’s mother, Seven, and she got me checked into the hospital where she worked.
We didn’t want to draw too much attention because as soon as word got out, the Feds would come sniffing around.
I honestly didn’t have shit to say to them.
Just like I knew they would, my husband and brother handled it.
The thought of Giselle made my insides churn.
I knew that bitch was trouble as soon as I laid my eyes on her in Abraham’s office.
She was so wrapped up in delusion that she didn’t take a moment to just reflect on who she was up against. Priest was the wrong motherfucka’ to push to the edge, and she learned that the hard way.
Ahkeem was knocked out in the chair next to my bed.
He had his long legs hanging over the chair.
I knew he didn’t shut his eyes until I did, but my slumber didn’t last for long.
Since we’d been in the hospital, Ahkeem hadn’t let me lift a finger or let me out of bed without his assistance.
My body felt like it got ran over by a train.
I desperately just wanted to feel like myself, but I knew I couldn’t rush the process.
My car rolled multiple times on the road.
I just needed to be grateful to be alive instead of worrying about getting back to my day to day.
I felt some pressure in my stomach, and I figured I just had to pee again. Seven had Ahkeem filling me up with water and soup. I didn’t have it in me to eat anything solid; liquids were the best I could do. I was pissing constantly, and each time I had to use the restroom, Ahkeem would carry me.
I eyed him, realizing that he was way too deep in his sleep for me to wake him. I could only imagine the day he had. I knew he wasn’t bluffing when he told me he would tear the entire world up for me.
I pulled myself up in bed, quietly wincing at the soreness that ripped through my body. They had me in fucking grippy socks and a gown that had my ass exposed if I didn’t secure it a certain way. I slowly trudged to the bathroom, relieved once I was finally able to ease down on the toilet.
Looking down, I noticed there was some blood.
My cycle had the worst fucking timing. I cleaned up as much as I could, given that I was hooked up to an IV and was dragging around a monitor.
While I was wrapping up in the bathroom, I heard a knock on the room door.
“Jazzlyn Hendrix, I know you aren’t out of bed without assistance,” she scolded me.
I shuffled to the bathroom door and popped my head out of it. “Sorry. I really had to go.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?” Ahkeem yawned as he stood up, ready to come to my aid.
I held my hand up, signaling him to stop. “I’m fine, Ahkeem. My cycle just came on. Seven, can I get some clean bottoms and tampon?”
Seven immediately left her spot near the door and made her way over to me. “You’re bleeding or are you spotting?” she asked me.
In that moment, I understood why doctors were told not to treat family. Seven usually kept a stoic look on her pretty face, but her question had her face screwed up with some distress. “Bleeding, Sev. What’s the matter?”
She let out a deep sigh before she walked over to the closet in the room before returning to me with the bottoms and a pad instead of a tampon.
I decided not to question her any further and went back into the restroom to clean up some more.
My flow was heavier than usual, and my cramps were coming, but because this was my first period while off birth control, I guess my body was adjusting.
There was a light tap on the bathroom door. “You good in there, Lovey?” Ahkeem asked.
“Yes. Coming out now.” I wrapped up washing my hands.
I came out, and he helped me back to the bed. Seven was sitting at the corner of the bed. Once I was in it, she rested her hand gently on my leg. There was a look in her eye that bothered me, like she was holding back and trying to find the best way to tell me something.
“I got the results back from your scans and labs. As far as your scans, everything looks great. You could use some adjusting, and I could refer you to a great chiropractor. No concussion either, which I was concerned about due to the head lacerations you have, but thankfully, no.”
“Good.” I smiled.
“When can we head out? I know she wants to be in her own bed,” Ahkeem chuckled before dropping a kiss onto my forehead.
“I was coming in here to discuss your labs… it’s just procedure once we have a urine sample we run a pregnancy test for all female patients.
Yours came out positive,” Seven revealed, causing my mouth to drop a little bit.
Ahkeem and I were trying, but there was still a sense of shock that washed over us.
“Oh shit,” he breathed out, just as shocked as I was.
I bumped my brows together upon noticing the somber look on Seven’s face. “I’m bleeding, Sev.” I bit down on my bottom lip, internally praying that things weren’t playing out like I figured.
She nodded her head. “Yeah, and I’m concerned. I’ve already paged OB to come give me a consult. They should be here soon.”
Ahkeem seemed to finally pick up what Seven was putting down. A frown seeped into his handsome face as his eyes shifted between me and Seven. “What this mean, Sev?”
“I’ve ordered an ultrasound, a vaginal exam, and some more labs to be run.
Once I get some clarification from OB, I will let you know.
Spotting usually is normal based on how early on she is, but bleeding this heavily is concerning, so I want to make sure we’re addressing this right to ensure she receives the best care. ”
“I’m having a miscarriage,” I croaked out while staring straight into thin air. “You can say it.”
She cupped my hand in hers. “Not yet. I just want to get more information. Take some time to rest. Let me know if you’re feeling any pain. I will be back with OB. Okay?”
I kept my eyes straight ahead, still processing the fucked-up position I landed in. She exchanged a few words with Ahkeem, but I was so deep in my own head that I wasn’t able to pay attention. Once she left out of the room, Ahkeem took my hand into his before bringing it up to his lips.
“We gone be good, Lovey.”
My eyes finally gravitated over to him. I could feel tears that I refused to let fall gloss over them. “I’m having a miscarriage.”
“Baby, we don’t know that yet.”
“Ahkeem, I’m bleeding heavily. It’s a miscarriage. She’s tiptoeing around it because she has to!”
“Lovey, relax. Just breathe—“
I interrupted him before he could finish telling me to calm down.
“What did it? The crash? Them beating my ass while I was tied up? She fucking kicked me in my stomach.” I spiraled while pulling my knees up to my chest.
“Let’s not jump to conclusions, Lovey.”
“Ahkeem, stop.” I ordered him with pain weighing down on my heart.
“You’re getting your hopes up and setting these expectations when we both know what it is.
I lost our baby to all this shit. I’m having a miscarriage.
I know it. Seven knows it, and so do you.
Being positive right now is not helping me. ”
A deep breath flowed out of him as he took his seat next to me. My hand remained in his as we both sat in the harsh truth that neither of us needed doctors to confirm.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized. He’d always been quick to apologize, even if he wasn’t to blame.
A tear finally managed to slip from my eyes. I quickly wiped it while shaking my head. “It’s not your fault. It’s my karma, I guess. God’s settling the score with me after I had an abortion without telling you.”
“Lovey, don’t say that shit.” He shook his head.
“That’s how I feel.”
“Stop. I don’t want you feeling like that. I forgave you for that. You gotta forgive yourself now. You didn’t put yourself in this position. Things happened beyond our control. We’ll get through this.”
He got into the bed next to me and comforted me.
I finally found the space to cry into my husband’s chest. Seven returned with another doctor and they examined me and ran all the tests Seven previously mentioned to me.
My body was still in a state of shock from what I endured from the crash, and now my mind was completely fucked up.
I dissociated while Ahkeem asked all the questions and talked to the doctors.
I didn’t know why I always expected to gloss over the consequences of my actions.
I knew Ahkeem told me I had to forgive myself, but I knew what I did was wrong, especially to him.
I thought agreeing to try to get pregnant would help me forgive myself and somewhat erase what I did, but no.
I was hit with a loss. I could sit and cry about how this shit wasn’t fair, but deep down inside, a part of me felt like I deserved it.
I made a selfish move without considering my partner or even talking to God about it.
I was only worried about what I wanted and never stopped to just think my decision through.
I had to accept the fact that things wouldn’t always go in my favor, no matter what I did.
“You had what we call a chemical pregnancy. It means your body recognized the pregnancy, but it ended very early. This is more common than people realize... especially after trauma,” Dr. Web explained to me.
I couldn’t even give him the decency of looking at him.
I was stuck in my own head, replaying the events that led me here.
Seven cupped my hand in hers. “The stress, the accident, the injuries… any of those could’ve contributed.”
I said nothing.
They discussed a few more things with Ahkeem, then told me how sorry they were for my loss before leaving the room. Once they were out, I laid on my side with my back facing Ahkeem.
“Maybe you were right,” I said to him.
“Right about what, Lovey?”