Chapter 44
Chapter Forty-Four
Chrissy
T his was not where I expected the day to go. I didn’t plan on being here, at Rome’s place. Not only am I here, I’m here with him and his new cat, the one who drives the café up a wall. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to be here today, but I had a feeling that Rome wasn’t going to be happy with me once he found out what I did. And I was right, so I’m really unsure why I’m sitting in his living room while he tries to coax Korra out of her carrier.
I should have talked to Rome myself; bringing Raina was a bad idea. I just wanted to introduce them, but I should have done that at another time. I know Raina and Rome are going to get along. Perhaps he won’t lie to her, and she can help him confront his battles head-on.
His back is to me, and my heart is breaking for him. Everything he went through with his parents, growing up alone with no siblings and only a few friends. He didn’t date much out of fear, and he grew used to being alone. All Rome wants is companionship and love, which I know I can provide him.
Love like Gwen and Ash and my parents have is rare... Rome said so himself, I don’t want to be alone. It’s not true though. I know who I am, and while I’m a fucking mess, I know, deep down, I only want a grand love that’s worth fighting for.
Rome is upset, and it’s up to me to maintain my composure even though his words leave my chest aching. My psychology courses prepared me for moments such as this, so it’s time to put them to use.
“Chrissy.” Rome pulls me from my thoughts.
“Rome.” His anger is gone, but my feelings are still hurt, and it’s apparent in my tone.
His shoulders drop, and he looks down at his folded hands. “I know you were trying to do what you thought was best, but I do feel like you went behind my back. I know Malik, and this isn’t going to end well. For either of us.”
“It sounds like you don’t trust us.”
“I don’t trust him,” he responds solemnly. “I don’t trust that we’ll survive Malik Chen.”
“Your lack of faith is disturbing... God dammit Ash.” I slap my forehead and groan.
With a small chuckle, Rome looks up and meets my eyes. “His Star Wars references will always haunt you. Trust me.”
“I don’t want to fight. I can handle Malik. I’ve done it before. You will always believe you’re doing the right thing, just like I will. But I’m standing firm. I won’t budge. I won’t let you ruin your future because of some asshole quarterback.”
“I can be a history teacher?—”
“Not yet,” I say with a tight voice. “You can teach history when you’re ready to stop playing football. Right now, you’re not ready. Don’t try to convince me when you can’t even convince yourself.”
Rome sighs, and that’s how I know I’m right.
“You’re good. You’re an all-star for a reason. And what’s even better? You love what you do. You pour passion into it. You care for your teammates. Hell, even after you promised me you would step back from some of the responsibilities that jackass thrust on you, you didn’t?—”
He cuts me off with a disappointed look. “You knew about that?”
“Of course I knew about that. You’re a terrible liar,” I say with a soft smile. “I’ve known for a few weeks now, and you have yet to tell me what your coach wanted to talk to you about.”
Rome looks at me for a moment. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Korra crawling out of her plastic carrier, but I don’t say anything. One, I don’t want to distract Rome. And two, I don’t want to spook her.
“He, um, he wants to cast a vote for the captain title. A few of the players went to him, and he noticed the plays weren’t being done by Malik. He’s noticed that I’ve stepped up, and he wants the team to pick between Malik and me. But?—”
“Malik won’t throw you the ball if you take his title,” I say, releasing an exasperated groan. “Fucking bitch waffle.”
Rome holds back a chuckle as I rake my hands across through my hair.
“He got what he wants, but I don’t even know if you doing this will guarantee that he’ll toss me the ball. I won’t know for sure until the season opener at the end of August.”
“What do we do until then?” I ask, feeling guilty but standing by my decision.
“We have four weeks. If you want to stay assigned to Malik, I won’t stop you, but I’m not happy about it. I think we should bide our time.”
“I think we need a plan.”
“A master plan?” Rome smirks, and I giggle.
“Exactly. Plan A is to ensure everything I do keeps your position and future secure. Plan B, if Malik goes against his word to me, you’ll talk to the head coach and find a reason to either bench him or kick him off the team.”
“Or have him replaced.” Rome lights up as his smile grows.
“Who is his alternate?” My heart starts to flutter, hope reawakening in my body.
“Levi Faulkner.”
“The freshman? I met him at the party, I remember. He was sweet.”
“He has a massive crush on you. Malik is not an upstanding student or citizen. Karma won’t be upset with us for carrying out some revenge on her behalf. And Levi is good. I can start going at him harder, teaching him more plays and amping up his workout routine. He won’t think twice about it.”
“Precisely.” I smile at Rome, confidence surging through my veins.
“I can do that. I can definitely do that.”
Korra continues to stalk forward, but I keep my mouth shut.
“What you said earlier... about me not wanting to be alone?—”
“I was upset,” Rome starts, but I interject.
“Strong feelings cause people to speak the truth, and you’re right. I don’t want to be alone. But there’s more to it.” Tears start to fill my eyes in response to what I’m about to say. “I thought I would never find a real love. I see what everyone around me has, and I get jealous. The nicknames people used to call me in middle and high school re-emerge, and I’m left feeling numb. I thought I was doomed to be a serial dater. Until you. . .”
Rome observes me, and the tears in my eyes free themselves, slipping down my cheek and staining my face.
“I was looking for a mythical being. I was so sure I would never find someone who would adore me like my father adores my mother. I’m scared of being alone, yet I resigned myself to the fact that I’m destined to be alone. I thought I was cursed.”
I sniffle as my vision blurs. My palms meet my eyes, and I try to wipe away the tears, but they don’t stop. Something nudges against my leg, and Rome chuckles.
“I’m glad you find my destiny amusing.” I hiccup through my tears.
“No, Chrissy, I don’t find your sadness amusing. I find you rather cute and endearing, and so does Korra.”
Looking down, I find the white puff of fur staring up at me. Being careful, I offer her my finger, and she sniffs it. I ready myself for her to bite me because that’s all Pickles does when he sees me. Instead, she rubs her nose along my finger, allowing me to scratch her cheek.
“You’re not cursed, Wildflower. Want to know how I know?” Rome asks quietly.
Korra jumps onto the couch and sits on my lap, cuddling against my stomach.
“Gwen told me that cats can tell whether or not someone is a good person. Korra is a little crazy, but if you were cursed, she wouldn’t be giving you the time of day. And I know you’re a wonderful woman. I knew when you and Gwen were spying on us in the pavilion, before the Halloween party, before we talked to one another in the library. You reflect everything good in this world. I will protect you, even if it means putting my future at risk. You deserve love, and you are worthy. I love you, Chrissy Willows. We may not have a love like Gwen and Ash or your parents, but I know we’re meant for one another. I was made to love you, and I’ll do everything in my power to remind you of that—forever.”
“Dammit, Rome.” I cry harder as Korra starts to purr. “I was supposed to be comforting you. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” I look at Rome and smile through my tears. I taste the saltiness as they land on my lips.
Rome thinks I’m worthy, and I know he is deserving of everything wonderful in this world. He’s lied to me before, but he wouldn’t lie about this. Rome is an upstanding man. If he thinks I deserve love, then it must be true. All my life, I’ve struggled with self-image and self-worth, and as I got older, I worried that a forever kind of love wasn’t in the cards for me. It will take time to internalize and accept these new truths. Change doesn’t happen overnight. But with Rome, I know I can work on myself and these new thoughts and avoid self-sabotaging what we have. Loving Rome will help me discover myself.
“You know I love you, right?” I say through my tears. “And I won’t leave you, ever.”
Reaching forward, Rome takes my hand and squeezes it. “I know now. And I need to trust you. You only want the best for me, just like I want for you.”
“We’re a team,” I say with a loving smile.
“We are, my love. And I’m sorry.”
Korra moves from my lap to Rome’s, nudging into his hand and commanding more scratches. She’s a daddy’s girl for sure, and Rome is such a cat dad.
“I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I made you cry. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. You didn’t betray me. I was being an asshole. I prepared myself for the worst because it’s what I’m used to. After all we’ve been through, I should know better, but I’m a fool. I’ll do better. I promise.”
“We’re both messes, Rome.” I inch toward him. Our knees touch, and I rest my palm on his cheek, cooling his hot skin. “Let’s be messes together.”
“I’d love nothing more than that,” he says with a genuine smile.
“These next few weeks are going to be difficult, but we’re a team. You, me, and Korra.”
Korra looks at me again, her lime eyes sparkling with happiness.
“What’s our first step, boss?” Rome asks, and I can’t help but feel content.
“You’re going to work with Raina. Let her help you. Tell her everything about your mom, and work on facing that trauma. I will earn Malik’s trust, and in the meantime, you’ll help Levi. If Malik doesn’t keep his word, we’ll do everything we can to have Levi replace Malik. But Rome... you need to talk to your coach. The best thing for your team is you being captain. We have a plan, trust in it. Trust in us .”
Rome smiles at me, and it makes my heart sing. “I’ll talk to him soon. The vote will be scheduled, and if it goes the way I think it will, I’ll be named captain.”
“Are you excited?” I trace small shapes onto the backside of his hand, trying to comfort him.
“I’m not sure I’ll be any good at it.”
“You’ve been doing it this entire time. I told you during our first one-on-one. Don’t change anything you’re doing, and you’ll be great. I believe in you.” I squeeze his hand and lean forward to place a kiss on his cheek.
“Thank you, sunshine, for everything.”
I wrap my arms around him and embrace him tightly, nuzzling into the crook of his neck and sighing peacefully.
“I’ve always said that I’ll never find a love that was written in the stars. But, Rome, I think I’m finding it with you,” I admit under my breath.
“You are my star. I would burn the world to protect you. I swear to you that I will protect and love you far longer than time will allow us.”
The tears return, and I cuddle into him, dampening his skin. I ball his shirt in my fist and refuse to let go.
Rome Carter... you were the last person I was expecting, but you’re everything I could ever want. You’ll burn the world for me, but I’d let the world end for you.