Chapter 14 #3
“And if you can’t – guess what?” Maureen paused, her voice cracking with emotion, and felt the sting of tears behind her eyelids, realizing that there was a very good possibility that when he left, she’d never see him again.
Only Eli could decide whether he could live with a drastic change to his life – mentally, physically, financially.
It wasn’t up to her – but him – and the volume of trust that would be involved in shrugging off everything, leaving the world he knew behind, and putting your faith into someone who has nothing to give but love…
that was torture for someone as strict and driven like Eli.
“I’ll still be here,” she murmured, swallowing against the lump in her throat that threatened to choke her.
“I will still be here and be your friend. I always will be…” They stared at each other, both of their eyes shining with emotion, and she was pretty sure that they both knew they’d come to a fork in the road.
“Maureen…”
“Shh, Melon-head,” she chuckled tearfully and saw his precious smile before it faded. “You’re still here, and we still have time to get to know each other. I don’t want to start fretting about ‘goodbyes’ when you’ve got a couple of days left, you know?”
“You’re too good for me,” he whispered, his eyes dropping to her lips.
“I could be perfect for you,” she countered softly, tracing the shell of his ear and marveling at him in wonder. He was so beautiful inside and out – and if he left tomorrow, she would never forget him as long as she lived. “If you decided to let me…”
“You want it all…” His voice was low, hushed, questioning, but it felt like it was more of a reminder to himself - not actually waiting for an answer.
“Don’t we both deserve it?”
“You do,” he agreed, his fingers brushing against her cheek like he was trying to memorize what her skin felt like before he left.
“You do too – you just need to want it bad enough.”
His eyes met hers, stormy and broken, but he didn’t say a word.
Eli couldn’t, and she knew it. If he agreed with her statement, then he was being pushed into a position that he wasn’t ready to be in – cornered.
If he denied it, then it was denying what he felt for her… and he wasn’t ready to do that either.
Arching forward slightly as he leaned down, she murmured against his lips an acceptance of sorts, understanding the lack of commitment.
His breath met hers, shaky and emotional, as if he was on the edge of some chasm.
She could almost see it in her mind, buffeted by the elements and pulled, holding fast to all he once knew and fighting helplessly against everything tugging him into the unknown.
“It’s okay,” she promised against his lips, hers caressing his almost in a tease as he held himself tautly, fighting it, fighting this.
Gosh, he was so stubborn, and his nickname of ‘Melonhead’ was so darn fitting sometimes.
His phone dinged once more between them, as his eyes met hers… and she saw the moment he broke.
He drew in a ragged breath - and then kissed her.
His eyes glazed over just before they closed, and his lips claimed hers in a way that no other man had.
Oh, she’d been kissed before, but this was like a comet across the sky, straight into her soul.
His mouth opened, sliding against hers, and she was here for it as their arms curled around each other in an embrace that she could have only imagined or fantasized about.
He was lifting her off the couch, closer to him, the phone completely forgotten as it fell to the carpet with a hollow thud.
Her fingers were in his short hair, holding him close, as she tasted him, knowing that this could be the only time that he gave in to these feelings building between them.
He was such a stick in the mud. She both loved that about him and hated it with equal amounts of passion – but wouldn’t change a thing either.
As the phone rang from the floor, their kiss ended, but neither moved away.
Eli lay there over her, perched and waiting as he drew in his breath like a man who’d run a mile, his eyes were a hurricane of awareness and comprehension of a moment they couldn’t come back from…
and she was like the shore, waiting to see how deep the tide would be this time around once he had a chance to think about things.
That’s the biggest problem – he’s a planner, a thinker, a doer…
and his thoughts, his commitments, his ideas of how things should be keep him from being free – and she couldn’t blame him.
That was steady. That was safe. That was control in a world full of chaos, and everyone needed something safe to hang onto.
His eyes searched hers; she could see the mix of emotions.
“Don’t,” she begged softly, cradling his beloved face. “Whatever is going on in that head of yours, don’t let it steal your joy right now.”
He hesitated – and she had him.
“It was a kiss, an expression of emotions, of how we feel at this very moment, so don’t let your thoughts of tomorrow diminish any of it today…
please, for me,” she murmured softly, holding his eyes.
“I need this for a moment – and I’m asking you to give me these few precious seconds, so I can keep them close. ”
“All right,” he whispered softly, brushing back her hair from her cheek as he drank her in. “This is ours.”
Leaning up, she kissed him tenderly once more as they ignored the cell phone that began ringing once more on the floor beside them.