Chapter 15
MAUREEN
Sometimes Eli got the weirdest thoughts in his head, like a bear trap that would snap shut, clamping down tightly, because that was how it was designed to operate.
While she had a relaxing afternoon in her mind, spending time just lounging around and talking, he had a different idea.
They went to the hardware store, and then he spent a few hours replacing the light fixture on the front of her house with a floodlight, complete with a motion detector.
He also replaced the back porch light, installed one of those Ring doorbell systems, and then decided to tackle reattaching a piece of trim on the window that he saw was ‘not quite seated’ in his opinion.
While it was nice to have so much unexpected help fixing up a few things – it was also terribly frustrating.
Distinctly unromantic too.
Maureen knew he was doing this on purpose, distancing himself for a reason.
While she understood, it also hurt because she felt like in those moments that she was losing him to whatever thoughts he had in his mind.
Oh, she wished sometimes that she could crawl around in there, pick at a few spots, rearrange things, or simply pluck out the offenders – but then again, it wouldn’t be Eli.
After all of that, they were going to Flyboys tonight – and wouldn’t be alone again.
Yep, while this was a setup by the team to get them together, it was also backfiring spectacularly in her face.
The good news was that whatever Mallory had done, she had single-handedly driven more customers to her.
She had appointments scheduled for each day next week, which was a nice change.
Bless him, Eli just listened to her take the calls, taking everything in as he looked around, watching her work.
“Where are your parents?” she asked point-blank, looking up at him from where he was standing in the distance, looking at a painting she’d bought at a yard sale because it had mermaids swimming in the ocean.
That was her ‘thing’ – mermaids, unicorns, flowers, and those paintings with knights and ladies from long ago.
She loved the idea of romance, of love, of destiny… even if she was skeptical sometimes.
“Why?”
“Because friends help other friends,” she replied evenly, tempted to throw her pen at him. “If you had a problem and needed help, I could get there much faster than you could.”
“I would never ask that of you.”
“I know – I’m volunteering.”
“You don’t strike me as a masochist.”
“You don’t strike me as a coward.”
Ouch, she thought as his gaze darkened. Those were fighting words, but dang, he was difficult sometimes. She just wanted to help, to be included, to feel like a part of his world – even if it was the most remote corner.
“Promise me you won’t go,” he said hesitantly, standing there stiffly. “They can be… unfriendly. I don’t want you getting hurt or insulted.”
“And I don’t want to beat an old man,” she replied openly – and Eli gave her a half-smile that tore at her heart. “If I went, if he tried to harm me or put hands on me, I’m not going to stick around, Eli. I’m not some wilting flower that won’t speak up for herself.”
“No, I know.”
“Do you?” she questioned, looking at him. “Do you know that? Do you trust me? Because I could take them some fruit during the summer, maybe some candy at Halloween, or it would give me someone to have Thanksgiving with so I’m not eating a turkey pot pie all by myself or…”
“Fort Worth,” he whispered, interrupting her.
“They’re in Fort Worth. They used to be in Plano, but he threatened a nurse.
Before that they were in Shreveport, but he bit someone.
You can’t be within arm's reach – and it’s not just my father.
My mother eggs him on when he’s having a moment.
They said it’s dementia, but he’s always been an angry and brutal man.
I think he’s been sick for a very long time – in his head. ”
“I’m so sorry,” she replied gently and looked at him. “I would like to check on them for you and appreciate the warning – if you don’t mind sharing with me. I could email you updates or keep you posted on…”
“I just pay the bill,” he interrupted quietly and looked at her. “They gave me life and housed me, so I’m doing the same. That’s where my obligation ends.”
“And that’s where my offer begins, because I don’t have anyone,” she offered.
“You have someone, and I don’t. Is that a sad sign of how lonely I am at the holidays that I would take my chances with a pair of senile old coots?
” and softened her words with a wan smile – only to see him sit down opposite her, in front of the desk in a chair as he took her hands in his.
“It’s a sign of how giving your heart is – and the capacity it has to care for others,” he began and then hesitated. “We should probably head to Flyboys or my brother will start calling or texting again.”
“What’s the name of the place?” she pressed softly, knowing that he was probably hoping she’d drop the matter, but to her surprise – Eli grabbed a sheet of paper off a pad, writing it down, before looking at her.
“I will email the director when I get back and let her know that you’ll be visiting, so you will have access. Please, please be careful and take care of yourself first. You don’t have to do this for me, but I would prefer you not to be lonely when I’m gone.”
And there it was – he said it.
Nodding, she looked away, feeling her heart break with understanding.
A part of her hoped it would be like the others, where she’d heard rumors of how the group of flight school teachers had come for a visit and ended up staying after falling in love.
Maybe she craved a little more fantasy in her life than she imagined – maybe it wasn’t just mermaids, unicorns, princesses…
maybe she wished Prince Charming would pick her for once – and he wasn’t.
It hurt.
She pushed those feelings down once again, tucking them into that little unhealthy box in her soul where all those other hopes, dreams, and wishes lingered, withering away.
Wishes for a parent who would be proud of her, dreams of a home full of children and love, the desperate want of a child for someone not to decide she wasn’t worth the hassle – but that never happened.
Not then…
Not now…
“Thanks,” she said softly, nodding quickly and looking away. “I’ll be careful. I promise. I just need to get my purse and my shoes…”
“Maureen?” There was a catch in his voice, making her wonder if he realized just how hard sometimes things hit you out of the blue.
Visiting his parents was an offer from a friend, not a pressing desire.
She hoped it eventually would mean something to him, but they were strangers to her.
It would be three bitter and broken strangers occupying some time together - eating pudding with skin on it, simply to keep from being alone.
Pathetic.
“Yeah?” she answered quickly, trying to make sure her expression was bright and happy. At the orphanage, people responded to bright and happy much better than dejected or sad – that was also another hard lesson learned. “Whatcha need?”
“Are you okay?” Eli asked openly, and she wanted to be proud of him for being so free with her, but a bigger part of her felt like a liar or charlatan. For all her spouting of ‘drop your baggage’ or ‘be happy’ mumbo-jumbo that she gave him… she felt like a liar.
She wasn’t happy. She was miserably lonely, desperately didn’t want him to leave her… and Eli didn’t feel the same way. He was being pulled away from her by invisible threads within his mind, bonds that she couldn’t fight.
“I’m fine,” she said, smiling at him, nodding. “I’m always fine, you know? We should probably head out soon. You’re right – they’ll start harassing us once again.”
His eyes held hers for a moment, almost as if he didn’t believe her, before he let the matter drop. She was glad. This was not a conversation she wanted to have so soon after sharing their first kiss, because she was not okay. She was so far from ‘okay’ that it was terrifying.
Maureen was in love with her Archangel – and he didn’t feel the same.
Getting out of the car at Flyboys, Eli held out his hand to her, and she pretended not to see it. Maybe he could turn off his feelings with the flick of a switch, but every time she peeled back a layer of his personality – she was falling deeper and deeper in love with the infernal man.
“Hey there!”
Maureen recognized it as the groom from the wedding – and Eli’s brother.
He had spotted them, immediately rushing over and welcoming them…
well, Eli. Sidewinder embraced his brother and then turned to her, his eyes blazing with questions and a little too similar to Eli’s beautiful eyes for her own comfort.
She looked away and politely offered a quick ‘hello,’ shaking his hand.
Things were strained, and you could feel it in the air between them – and his brother was no fool.
Sidewinder was measuring up the problem… and his eyes settled on her.
Thanks a lot…
“Come sit by me,” Sidewinder told his brother, immediately dragging Eli toward the barrel in the distance that was glowing as a few embers and ash took flight into the evening sky that was already darkening.
That’s me, she thought, following them – a pretty burst of warmth that cooled a little too fast…
and forgotten. Yeah, she was not in the proper mindset for this and was struggling.
There were chairs all around the fire, several smiling faces watching them – mixed with others that looked concerned or alarmed. They were all expecting happily ever after, and it was easy to see… heck, she’d hoped for that too, but maybe it wasn’t in the cards for her.