Forever Player

Chapter 15

Brett

The last few days in Sugar Meadow went by in a blur. We enjoyed a nice day shopping in a mall in Nashville. We grabbed an enjoyable lunch and had easy friendly conversation. Do I wish there were stolen touches and hot kisses attached to that day? Yeah, that’s what I was hoping for, but I get Willow’s reservations, and I am here to show her, I’m a keeper. After packing her and Maylee up, we are finally at the airport getting ready to board a plane.

“This is crazy, Brett, I don’t know what I was thinking,” Willow hesitates, pausing on our way to get on the plane. She looks pale and she blows out a breath.

I leave the carry-on luggage I’m pushing and walk over to Willow, settling my hands on her shoulders. “This is going to be great.” I look into her gorgeous blue-green eyes, trying not to get sucked in by her beauty because she needs me to talk her down from her worries. “Maddie picked up everything we asked her to. I’ll have a designer come by this week so we can put the finishing touches on Maylee’s nursery. She will have everything she needs and you can get back to work and be with your friends like you wanted and . . .” I’m about to tell her that maybe we can try to be together in a real sense, but I don’t want to overwhelm her.

“What were you going to say?” she asks, and she looks me in the eyes.

“Nothing.” I shrug it off. “Just that this move is going to be really good for you and Maylee.”

Willow’s eyes are laser focused on me as she takes slow breaths. “I left my family, Brett.”

“You are my family, Willow,” I say those words and I sense she isn’t buying them, but I mean them with every fiber of my being. No matter what, I will always take care of this woman, even if she doesn’t want me.

“We barely know each other,” she backpedals. I hear the fear dripping from her every word.

“We haven’t known each other a long time, that’s true, but I know you. You are warm, kind, beautiful, you have an amazing heart, and despite the way you grew up, you aren’t repeating your parents’ mistakes because you want to do better for our daughter, and I appreciate that so much. You also know I am not going anywhere. I have your back and Maylee’s. I know I shouldn’t be saying this right now, but I think we could be great together if you’d give us a chance. I thought that after we were together that first night in New York and I have been thinking this way for the past fourteen months, even without knowing that Maylee existed.”

Her lower lip quivers. “This is a lot.”

“I don’t want to pressure you. I just want to assure you I am here for you. Whatever you need. I just need you to be open with me, okay?”

She nods. “Yeah, I appreciate it.”

Okay, she seems a little calmer and my insides relax.

“I got you, Honey,” I reassure her. She watches me like she doesn’t know what to make of me, and I get it. I have a reputation but I’m a changed man. People are allowed to change and I have to prove that to Willow.

“Okay, okay, this is fine,” Willow says, talking to herself.

“You’re going to be able to see all your old friends. Ellie lives in the building. This is going to be good, Willow,” I assure.

“I’m really excited to be able to see my friends. I haven’t met Patty’s baby girl,” she says.

“She and Maylee will be best friends.” That puts a smile on Willow’s face.

“This is good.” She nods like she is trying to convince herself.

“It’s going to be great,” I correct because I can see a future with this woman, and for me this is just the beginning. I was having my doubts about whether she shared my feelings, but when she looks in my eyes I see past her shields. I see a woman who is scared to give her heart, yet she has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. The way she is with Maylee just proves it.

We board the plane and get settled in. I text my sister to tell her we are about to takeoff. Maddie is over the roof happy about meeting Willow and Maylee.

As the plane takes off, Maylee begins to cry.

“Here, I got her,” I offer Willow because she is holding Maylee, and I can see how nervous she is. She passes her to me and Maylee settles for a bit, but as we takeoff my baby isn’t happy. As the plane makes its ascent, she is in full-blown crying mode and Willow is sweating it.

A flight attendant comes up to us. “Her ears may be bothering her. Does she have a soother or maybe a bottle she can suck on? It would help with the pressure she is probably feeling in her ears.”

“Thanks, yes,” Willow replies.

Willow gives her the soother but she is so worked up she spits it out.

Truth is, both Willow and I are sweating over our baby girl being so unhappy. Willow warms a bottle for her and passes it to me, just as the seat belt sign is turned off.

“Thanks, I’ll walk with her.” I stand and begin to walk up the aisle, rocking her gently in my arms. When her cries subside, I slip the bottle in her mouth and start to sing the sunshine song to her. She settles in my arms as I walk up and down the aisle singing, “You Are My Sunshine” to my baby girl. Almost every woman on the plane smiles at me as I pass them. The elderly ones smile too. All I care is that Maylee is settled and happy. As she sucks her bottle I sing. It’s a tactic I used back on the farm when there were nights she was overtired and hungry and couldn’t settle herself.

When I return to sit down, Willow is a lot more relaxed. “Thanks, Brett.”

“Please don’t thank me. She’s my kid, it’s obvious I’ll be there to soothe her and take care of her.”

“It still feels good to have the help. It was stressful knowing I had to soothe her all on my own. I kept questioning if I was doing things right. I mostly referred to books to get information and it felt very alienating. It’s a relief to have your help,” she shares. I realize how hard that confession must have been for her because what I have learned of Willow these last couple weeks is that she is fiercely independent, and she doesn’t know how to ask for help, maybe because help was never really available to her.

“I’m here for you and Maylee. I meant what I said. I have to go back to work, but I am a phone call or a plane ride away. You need me. I’ll be there,” I assure her.

She sighs. “This friendship is going to work for us.”

I don’t want to rain on her parade, but I see her as more than a friend.

“I’m aiming for more than friendship here, Honey, unless I have things wrong because I don’t want to take any of my friends’ clothes off, yet I keep thinking of you in compromising positions and. . .”

She holds up her hand and squirms in her seat.

I lean into her ear. “By the way you’re squirming right now, I hope you brought that little toy I gave you with you to New York.”

She swallows hard and takes a breath. Her eyes turn from heated to focused. “Brett, we can’t go there anymore. We have to stay platonic. We are getting along and that needs to continue for Maylee’s sake.”

Damn, she is stubborn.

I don’t reply to that statement because I simply don’t agree with her. I also don’t want to overwhelm her with thoughts of a relationship with me.

Willow leans her head back and takes a little nap. I take the time to relax, watching my daughter sleep. Her little inhales and exhales have me fixated on her. She is my little miracle. She’s perfect and I feel so much love I didn’t know I was capable of feeling. It makes me think back to all those months in New York when I was thinking of Willow and wondering where she disappeared. Her not showing up to Connor and Ellie’s wedding makes a whole lot of sense. Reality was, I was pining for this woman. I stopped sleeping around because of her. Hell, I even tried to hook up, but I had no interest because all I could do was think about how good we were together and no one else could ever match up.

The pilot announces our descent. Maddie said she would be waiting for us in the airport, even though I told her we would take an Uber. We are landing in the evening so she is done with school for the day and so is Asher. I just hope Willow won’t feel overwhelmed because Maddie’s excitement about meeting Willow was palpable through the phone. My sister is curious about the woman I became preoccupied with, even when she wasn’t around. It’s not something I’ve done before.

I place my hand on Willow’s thigh and give it a squeeze. She stirs, opening her eyes. “We’re landing soon, beautiful.”

“Okay.” She blows out a breath and grips the armrests.

“This is a new chapter for us. I’m going to do my best to make you happy,” I say to her.

She watches me warily. When you’ve never had someone to rely on it’s hard to trust, and I can understand that.

The plane lands. I’m grateful Maylee stayed sleeping peacefully in my arms. When the plane stops and everyone scrambles to disembark, I pass Maylee to Willow and she wakes up. I retrieve our carry-on baggage from the overhead bin and we head to the front of the plane to wait off to the side so we can get Maylee’s stroller.

“My sister, Maddie, and my nephew, Asher, are waiting for us,” I say in a by-the-way tone. “I told her we would rather take an Uber but she wasn’t having it.”

“Will all our stuff fit in her car?” Willow asks.

“Definitely, she’s driving an Escalade,” I say since Kaleb insisted she stop driving her mom mobile, which was falling apart.

“Okay cool.” Willow seems calm.

I take it as a good sign.

We head through the walkways and out to the baggage collection area. I text Maddie we will be out soon. While I wait for our suitcases, Willow finds a bench to feed Maylee.

With our five suitcases and carry-on baggage loaded up on a cart, I walk over to Willow.

“We got everything,” I say.

She has Maylee on her shoulder, burping her, and she nods. We head through the main exit doors into the arrivals area. Maddie is waving at me and I nod to show I spotted her.

Maddie comes running up to us. “OMG, hi, how are you?” she says, focusing on Willow. “You are just so beautiful. I’ve heard so much about you. I couldn’t wait to meet you.”

Maddie means well but she has Willow looking confused.

“You mean you heard about Maylee?” Willow corrects.

“Oh no,” my sister replies, shaking her head. “It’s you I’ve been dying to meet.” She gives Willow a half hug. “And look at you, pretty girl,” she says to Maylee. “Can I hold her?”

Willow passes Maylee over to Maddie, who gushes over my baby girl.

“Asher.” I pick my nephew up and swing him around.

“We missed you,” he says to me. I hold him in my arms and give him a hug.

“I missed you too,” I tell him. I watch Willow watching me. “This is my nephew, Asher. He’s the coolest dude you’ll ever meet.”

“Nice to meet you, Asher,” Willow says, smiling. “You are completely adorable.”

“Mom said I have a cousin now. Can I hold her too?”

“You know what, buddy,” I cut in since Willow seems stuck, “I think it’s best if you hold Maylee when we are back at home. That way you can sit on the couch. Does that sound okay?”

My nephew nods and smiles and I ruffle his hair.

We all get loaded up in Maddie’s SUV.

“I live next door to you guys, Willow, so if you need anything, just let me know. I’m in culinary school during the day but I am home most evenings, unless I’m taking Asher for his hockey practice,” Maddie explains to Willow.

“Thanks, that’s very sweet,” Willow replies.

“Hopefully we can spend some time getting to know each other. My boyfriend, Kaleb, is on the team with Brett and they travel a lot, so we can hang out together. I love cooking, so if you like we can do some meals together when the guys are on the road and also when they are home.” Maddie is babbling and I get it. She is super excited for me but what she doesn’t know is that Willow and I aren’t together. She knows I like Willow, but that’s about it. I hope Willow doesn’t think she’s coming on too strong.

“That sounds really nice,” Willow says. “Living on the farm got pretty lonely. It’ll be nice to have friends close by.”

“Can I help take care of Maylee?” Asher asks.

“I would love the help,” Willow responds with a smile and she looks at me. I smile too.

We head up to the apartment.

“Kaleb set up the crib when he was in town,” Maddie explains.

“I’ll need to thank him,” I say to her.

“Can we go over to Uncle Brett’s?” Asher asks outside my apartment door.

“Uncle Brett is probably tired. We can go over another day,” Maddie assures. “You guys have a good night. Stacia came by earlier so she stocked the fridge.”

“Thanks, Mads,” I say to my sister. “You two have a good night. It’s good to be home.”

We enter the apartment and I show Willow around.

“If you need anything or want to change the decorating or something, feel free,” I say to her. “This is your home now.”

“Brett, I appreciate your hospitality, but this is temporary until I can save enough for first and last month’s rent,” she reminds, but I don’t like those words or the thought of her and Maylee leaving.

“I’m hoping to convince you otherwise.” I shrug and show her around. “I have an assistant. She does my grocery shopping.”

“You have an assistant to do groceries for you?” Willow asks with surprise.

“I never shop or cook for myself,” I admit sheepishly.

“You seemed like such a pro back in Sugar Meadow,” Willow notes.

“That trip to the grocery store is something I won’t be forgetting any time soon.” I wink at Willow and rub Maylee’s cheek because she was a little culprit that day.

“Stacia, that’s my assistant’s name, she comes by a few times a week to clean the apartment, do the groceries, and cook meals. You can let her know whatever you need and she’ll pick it up for you,” I say to Willow.

“I can do all that. You don’t need her. I’m staying here for free, I can chip in,” Willow offers.

“Uh, uh, that isn’t happening, Honey. You don’t need to worry about those things. I feel bad enough as it is that I have to leave the day after tomorrow. I’d feel better knowing you’ll have some help,” I state as we enter the nursery.

Kaleb put all my office equipment and Asher’s old bed in the locker I have downstairs.

Willow and I basically chose everything so it’s nice to see how it all came together.

“I can send a painter to change the color,” I offer.

“This green is actually perfect,” Willow says. “It feels tranquil.”

I sigh. It does. I also can’t believe I have a baby and a nursery in my apartment. My life changed like a whirlwind and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I just need this beautiful woman to get on board for a relationship.

Next, I show Willow her room. “Wow, you have a beautiful home, Brett.”

“Thanks. The truth is, I’m not here too often. It’s going to be hard to be away from you guys.” As I say the words, I realize how true they are. They haven’t been in my life long, but now it feels like they are my life.

“I wouldn’t want you retiring because of Maylee,” she says as if she can read my thoughts.

“Thanks, but I don’t have too many years left anyway,” I admit.

“But you love hockey. You shouldn’t stop working because of her. We can make things work with your schedule,” she assures.

“I appreciate that, Willow. Hockey’s been my life for a long time, but that’s changed in the last couple of weeks. I have a different perspective now.”

“I understand,” Willow says. “Having Maylee changed my perspective too, but I think it’s important to continue working and living our lives. There has to be a work-family balance. I didn’t have that on the farm. It’s why I wanted to come back here so badly.”

Not going to lie, her words sting a little, even though I know my expectations of an us should be low. I just hoped on some level I was part of the reason she came back to New York.

“Have you been in touch with work at all?” I ask, wanting to hide my hurt feelings.

“Yeah, my manager told me to come by tomorrow and discuss hours. I also need to coordinate with the day care. They said they have space for Maylee and can work around my schedule,” she explains and then she yawns.

“I can take care of Maylee when you go into work,” I offer.

“Thanks.” She smiles and yawns again. “Sorry, it’s been a long day.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s been a big day for us all,” I say to show her I understand.

“Thanks, I told them I would come by around lunchtime.”

“Maybe we can grab breakfast together at a restaurant and then I can drive you to work,” I offer.

“That sounds perfect. Thanks, Brett. This isn’t an easy transition but I want you to know I appreciate everything you’re doing.” She pinches her lips, giving me a small smile and it seems like a small win with Willow.

“Please don’t thank me. We’re family now. That’s what family does,” I remind her.

She blinks and nods.

“Maddie put Maylee’s bath in your bathroom, but I can take it to mine and get her ready for bed,” I suggest.

“You don’t have to; you must be tired too.”

“I’m okay. I got our girl.” I wink.

“Thanks. Maybe bring her to me after the bath and I’ll breastfeed her, my breasts are feeling very full and heavy.” I know those are words that are not supposed to turn me on, but they do and my eyes drop to her full chest.

I lick my lips and a rose color rises on her cheeks.

“On it,” I say. I take Maylee to my room. We ordered an extra playpen for her with a bassinet and a mobile on it so I can have her in my room if I need to. So I place my baby in the bassinet and turn on the mobile. I also notice a pink blanket in the bassinet that has Maylee’s name embroidered on it. Maddie must have gifted that. I’ll need to thank her.

I prepare Maylee’s bath on the counter in my bathroom, while I think about how much meaning she and Willow have brought to my life. My father also pops into my head. The way he came home on his death bed because he had no other place to go and no one to turn to. If we hadn’t taken him in, he would have died alone. Even though he didn’t raise me and didn’t do much for me in my life, the thought of someone dying alone makes me feel a profound sadness. It also makes me realize the importance of family. I’ve never had a significant other but Maddie, Henry, and my mom are people I rely on. I also get the strong sense that I want to build a life with Willow. Back at the farm it seemed like she was taking care of everyone, as opposed to the other way around. I want to show her what it’s like to be cared for. I know from the way I grew up that it was me taking care of everyone too. Mom worked all the time. Henry was younger than me and Maddie was the youngest of us siblings. I always watched out for them and eventually I took care of them. It can be tiring always worrying about everyone else’s happiness, which is why I preferred to be on my own for so long, but I clearly had life all wrong.

With the bath ready, I head to my room and undress Maylee. I carry her over to the bath and she smiles when I place her in the water.

“You love your bath, don’t you?” I say. Then I start singing the “Itsy Bitsy Spider” as I soap up a cloth and wash her.

She kicks her feet out, splashing the water, and I love this moment so much. I’m going to miss these bath times when I’m on the road.

After the bath, I wrap Maylee up in a towel and take her to my bed. Maddie loaded up the playpen full with diapers, bum cream, undershirts, and sleepers so I take one of each and get Maylee dressed.

“Oh,” Willow’s voice pulls me to the door. She’s wearing a pair of short shorts and a tank top and her hair falls wet on her shoulders. “I forgot you didn’t have a change of clothes and diapers, but I see you do.”

“Maddie went a little overboard preparing for our homecoming.” I chuckle. “Got a whole package of diapers, butt cream, and sleepers over here.” I motion to the playpen.

“She’s really great,” Willow says.

“She is,” I agree fondly.

“You two are really close, huh?” she observes.

“We are, Dad was an alcoholic who took off on us all the time. Mom was working and Maddie, Henry, and I were always together. When my siblings were younger, it was me taking care of them but as they got older, we took care of each other,” I explain.

“That’s nice. It was kind of like that in my family too, but since we are all grown up it seems like everyone has their own lives. We aren’t so close anymore,” she says. I kind of noticed that while I stayed on the farm.

“Maddie wasn’t always living here. She was in Jersey and we didn’t see each other half as often as now, but we always spoke on the phone. We always know what is going on in each other’s lives. It’s like that with my brother Henry too. He lives out in Connecticut but we chat by phone when we can.”

“I should take her and feed her,” Willow says.

“You can feed her here on my bed if you like. It’s nice to be talking and learning about each other.”

“Okay.” She nods. With Maylee all dressed, I pass her over to her mom, and Willow climbs on my bed and lifts up her shirt. I have to adjust the semi growing in my pants at the sight.

“How come you grew apart with your siblings?” I ask.

She shrugs. “I moved to New York. Jacob was in the NHL, for a while, so he was busy. Jack is in college in New Haven. Lev is Lev, he keeps to himself, and Finn is either playing hockey, spending time with Chelsea, or doing homework,” she explains.

“And your mom?” I ask.

“Isn’t a typical mom,” she jokes dryly.

I shrug. “I kinda noticed.”

“Growing up, my parents weren’t really involved. I’d make up stories about why they weren’t involved in the PTA or didn’t come out to see our plays at school, but the reality is they were just both self-absorbed with their own needs and fighting each other. I have no clue why they wanted so many kids. Mom just said she kept on getting knocked up every time they made up. My grandparents were around when we were small so I remember my grandma helping out a lot. The farm belonged to them. Grandpa was kind of shut down like Daddy. Gram used to say it was because he fought in Vietnam and saw nasty things.”

I don’t say a word because she is finally talking to me and I am fixated on her every word, hoping it allows me to know her better.

“Gram passed when I started high school. She would cook and take care of us, so her loss was a hard pill to swallow,” Willow shares.

“Sounds like you were lucky to have her. In my house we fended for ourselves. Although my mom always did leave us cooked meals before she left for work.”

“I was lucky to have Gram. All of us Heaton kids survived because of her,” she says.

“And none of the Heaton kids believe in love, except for Finn,” I state, but I mean it as a question.

She raises her right brow. “How do you know that?”

“Finn and I had a heart-to-heart one evening,” I confess.

“Of course you did.” She rolls her eyes playfully.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask.

“It means my family is very closed down, yet you managed to bond with Jacob, get along somewhat with Lev—which as a side note was impressive—and got to know Finn, who is literally never around.”

“We had a heart-to-heart like I said. I was trying to find out what makes you tick,” I admit, looking in her eyes. Maylee stops nursing and Willow covers herself up and then puts Maylee over her shoulder to burp her.

“I told you about myself that first night we were together,” she says.

“You’ve changed a whole lot since that night,” I rebut.

“True. I love being a mom.”

“You’re a great mom,” I agree.

She blushes. “Thank you, but I still don’t want to settle down.”

“You’re scared to feel something,” I point out, knowing I am pushing boundaries she may not be willing to cross. “But you can’t run from feelings forever. I think we have something real here, and I think deep down you know it too. It’s scaring the hell out of you and I’m here to say it scares me too, but I won’t walk away because feelings like this happen once in a lifetime.”

Her breath hitches and she stands, looking flustered. “You have a good night,” she says, walking to my bedroom door. “I’ll get Maylee settled in her crib for the night.”

“I can be up with her in the morning,” I offer. “You get some rest.”

“You’re spoiling me,” she replies.

“I’m gone the day after tomorrow. I want to do what I can while I’m still home.”

“Sure.” She nods. “Night, Brett.”

I want to ask her if I can come sleep in her bed. I got used to sleeping beside her. We may not have touched, but I liked having her warm body close to mine. I liked hearing her slow breaths as she slept. I liked when she pushed that fine ass of hers into my crotch without knowing. I may have woken up hard every morning, but being beside her was worth it.

“Night, Willow. Don’t forget we are on for breakfast tomorrow.”

“Yup,” I hear her say from down the hall.

Damn, that woman has me wrapped around her little finger and she doesn’t know it.

I go to take a shower and I get myself off to thoughts of Willow. Then I get into bed and text my sister because she went above and beyond with getting my apartment ready for our return home.

I set up the baby monitor in my room and I go to Maylee’s room to make sure it’s activated on her end. With everything working, I head back to bed. Today felt like I made some headway with Willow. She opened up about her family. She’s talking to me without being angry. I just fear she has somehow friend zoned me and that thought terrifies me.