Chapter 32
CHAPTER 32
VIREN
W e had stopped eating as a family after Sunaina signed the divorce papers.
Daima and Sufi ate in the kitchen as a sign of protest, and when I tried to join them in the kitchen, they threw their dishes in the sink and stood by the wall like the serving staff. I knew they were making a point, but it hurt like hell.
In one stroke, I had again lost most of my family, this time, it was all my fault.
“Daima, won’t you eat with me?” I asked softly. “You’ve been eating with me since I started eating solid food, and now you’re pushing me away because I choose to live my life by my chosen path?”
Her lips wobbled and tears filled her eyes, but she didn’t sit down.
“You’ve made the biggest mistake of your life, Viren, and you don’t even know it,” she whispered.
Didn’t I? I gave a mirthless laugh that had her glaring at me.
“Is this funny to you? Aisha is crying uncontrollably in her room, and you’ve just undone years of therapy for her. Believe me, Viren, that child is the only reason Sufi and I still working in this house.”
“You don’t work here, Daima,” I yelled. “The two of you were my family even before I married her. So I don’t see why that has to change!”
“Change is the only constant in life, beta. We were a family before Sunaina, but in cutting her out of the family, you have splintered the very fabric of our lives.”
I ignored her words and turned to Sufi.
“Tell her my lawyer wants to meet with her to discuss the settlement,” I ordered. “She’s been putting it off, and we have the final court date in two months.”
“Tell whom?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at me. “Say her name, Mr C.”
“Sunaina,” I thundered. “There! Are you happy now?”
As if not saying her name made any difference to how much I missed her even after four months.
I had hoped signing the divorce papers would help me get on with my life. To make my peace with the fact that the Sunaina chapter of my life was closed for good. But even four months after we walked away from each other, nothing had changed.
I still woke up with this ache in my heart from where I had cut her out for good. I still got the same nightmare about losing her. And we were all still completely miserable.
As for my soon-to-be ex-wife, she had moved into her own room in Gino and Perpetua’s house, according to my sources. Yes, I had sources. I had people looking out for her after she pulled an Uno Reverse on me and flatly refused a financial settlement. She wanted nothing I was planning to give her. She turned down the plus four-bedroom flat in Malabar Hill, the hundred crore cash settlement and even the car. All she wanted was visitation rights with Aisha, with Daima and Sufi overseeing the transfers every other weekend.
“Of course, I’ll give her visitation,” I yelled down the phone to my lawyer, Ranvijay. “But she also needs to take the money. What is she going to live on?”
“Umm, Viren, you do realise you’re saving a helluva lot of money if she refuses the settlement?” he asked sarcastically.
“This is my wife, RV! I have to provide for her.”
“No. She is your fake wife. And you owe her nothing if she doesn’t want anything.”
I slammed the phone down because, of course, he didn’t understand anything.
He didn’t understand that even after four months, I couldn’t turn my feelings for her off like a tap.
When even Sufi stonewalled me, I threw my fork down and rose from the table.
“Fine, I’ll deal with this myself if she can’t be arsed to talk to my lawyer,” I snarled.
“If you want to speak to her, have the balls to do it openly, Mr C. Stop spying on her. It’s giving icky stalker,” he said snidely.
“What?” I asked in surprise.
“Who do you think pays all the bills?” he asked as if I were a child. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out you hired a detective to keep an eye on her?”
Daima slapped her forehead in despair.
“Where did I go wrong in raising you, beta? You cannot stalk a woman like this,” she wailed.
“I’m not stalking her! I’m keeping an eye on her to make sure she’s safe,” I yelped.
“If you want to see if she’s safe, go knock on her door and talk to her. Don’t have your people follow her around. That’s the opposite of safe,” said Sufi.
“And if you’re so concerned about her safety, you shouldn’t be divorcing her in the first place,” said Daima, with a sniff.
“It’s okay, Daima. We only have to put up with this until the divorce comes through,” said Sufi, throwing me a sneer. “If I guess correctly, Dhruv won’t waste any time in marrying her as soon as they get the divorce decree.”
“I knew he was a sneaky bastard! If he’s been bothering my wife, I’ll rip his guts out and feed them to the dogs,” I snarled.
“Your ex-wife,” corrected Sufi.
I glared at both of them and stalked out of the kitchen because there was no point in explaining myself. But Daima followed me to the study.
“It’s not too late to take it back, Viren. Stop the divorce and go tell your wife how you really feel, beta.”
“I feel terrified, Daima,” I said bluntly. “I feel paralysed by fear. I keep seeing Sunaina on the funeral pyre. I can’t live like that forever.”
“Tell me this. Has your fear lessened since you left her?”
“Unfortunately, it hasn’t,” I admitted gruffly.
“And it never will,” she declared. “It will only end when she dies, and then it will turn into grief Because this fear is just an extension of your love. And it’s not unique to you, beta. We all feel it. Our biggest fear is always losing our loved ones. Who hasn’t had that fear almost every single day? Whether it is the fear of losing a spouse, a lover, a child, a parent or even a close friend, we all must suffer through it. That is the price we pay for love.”
“Then how do people love at all?” I asked bleakly.
“We don’t love when it is convenient to do so, Viren. We love our people despite all our fears and insecurities because love trumps fear.”
“I can’t afford to lose her, Daima. Not after everyone else I’ve lost,” I said in desperation.
“But you are already losing her, Viren. And do you think she’s going to be safe just because she’s not married to you anymore? Or that you will grieve her death any less because you’re not her husband anymore?”
I thought about what it would mean if something happened to her even years after the divorce. My entire body clenched in fear, and I realised Daima was right. I had just made the biggest mistake of my life.
“Fuck! I never looked at it that way, Daima. It doesn’t matter if Sunaina isn’t my wife any longer. No matter how many years we spend apart, I will still be just as heartbroken if she dies,” I whispered.
“Then wouldn’t you rather be with her and build up a precious store of memories that will stay with you long after she’s gone?”
I stared at her with unseeing eyes.
“How do I undo this, Daima? I broke her heart. How can I fix this?”
“Sometimes, the best thing to do is go and talk it out face to face,” she urged.