Chapter 33
CHAPTER 33
SUNAINA
I cursed under my breath as the paper bag in my hand ripped from the bottom and all the mangoes rolled to the ground.
“Need any help?” asked a very familiar voice, and I froze in place.
Four months. It had taken him four months to show up.
I left the mangoes where they were and stuck my key into the front door. Gino and Perpetua were out on a short holiday with the rest of the band, and I was all alone in the house tonight. I wondered if Viren knew that.
“What do you want?” I asked bluntly, as I threw the door open and began flinging the mangoes over the threshold.
“Can you look at me, please?” he begged. “I haven’t looked into your eyes since the night of the accident.”
“Poor you,” I replied with a bitter laugh. “The wife you abandoned in the hospital won’t play your games any more. I’m sure it sucks.”
He drew in a sharp breath and let it out slowly. I was aware of everything about him, even if I refused to look at the bastard.
“I’m really, really sorry, Sunaina. Running away was a huge mistake.”
“Yes, it was,” I quipped, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Can you forgive me?” he had the audacity to ask.
“No,” I replied coldly. “Because this is a you problem. It has nothing to do with me.”
“Really? Are you trying to say you don’t miss me?”
“Of course, I miss you, you blithering idiot. But it doesn’t change the fact that you took my heart and stomped all over it before you abandoned me. And now you’re back, apologising for it after four months. Why?”
“Because I can’t live without you,” he growled.
“And yet you did just that for the past so many months,” I pointed out.
“Yes, I did. I existed. But that’s all it is - a joyless existence,” he said hoarsely. “You took all the sunshine…all the joy out of my life when you left.”
I rubbed my face in exhaustion.
“Get to the point, Viren. What do you want?”
He didn’t reply for a few moments, and I finally looked at him because this was Viren ! How was I ever going to keep my eyes off him?
I found him looking me up and down with a scowl.
“You’ve lost weight,” he accused.
“Yes, because I’ve been gymming regularly. Again, what do you want?”
“I don’t like it,” he went on, ignoring my question.
For fuck’s sake! It was like talking to a stubborn toddler!
“You don’t have to like it. My body does not concern you anymore,” I snapped.
“Everything about you concerns me. And it always will! That’s what I’m here to tell you, Sunaina. I was wrong in thinking I’d stop being afraid of losing you if we weren’t together. That fear became part of my life the day I fell in love with you, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life because I don’t know how to stop loving you.”
My throat went dry and when I swallowed, it felt like there were shards of glass stuck in there.
He was in love with me? My heart did a pirouette in my chest, and I had to give it a very stern lecture because he couldn’t just waltz in here and tell me he loved me, and expect me to forgive him.
“Tell me how you did it,” he said desperately.
“Did what?”
“Stopped loving me.”
“I never stopped,” I whispered. “I don’t know how, either.”
Viren took a hopeful step closer to me, but he froze when I backed away.
“Here’s the thing,” I said gently. “Your sudden epiphany does not erase the way you’ve treated me. It doesn’t matter if you love me when you can abandon me so easily.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but I held up a hand to stop him.
“I’m not denying that you love me. But I think you love your fears more than you love me. That’s why you held on to them harder than you held onto me.”
His throat worked as he swallowed, and I took the time to notice the dark circles under his eyes and the fact that he had lost weight, too.
“You’re right. I was holding my fears closer to my heart than I held you,” he admitted. “And I’m doing therapy to learn to cope with my past, Sunaina. I can never erase what I’ve done to you. The question is whether you love me enough to forgive me and let me in again.”
“You’re in therapy?” I asked, my heart jumping with joy.
“Yes. I attend solo and group sessions every week, and they have been a revelation.”
“What if I still want to go ahead with the divorce, Viren?”
He flinched at my words but set his jaw firmly after a moment.
“That’s your right, wifey. I won’t stand in your way if that’s what you want.”
Damn it, I didn’t want that. At all!
But I didn’t want this blighted fake marriage either.
I took a step closer to him, and he did the same. And when we’d both taken a few steps in the right direction, we stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity.
Viren reached out and drew me into his arms, and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. Then he kissed my nose. And then, I tilted my head just the right amount to let him kiss me on the lips.
It started softly but soon turned hungry enough to set me on fire. I pulled away from him and gave him a tremulous smile. He just stared at it like a man starving for ages.
“Come home with me?” he murmured.
I shook my head slowly.
“I live here now. But you’re welcome to come in if you like,” I said, with a sidelong glance at him.
He followed me over the threshold and helped me pick up the mangoes before he backed me into a wall and kissed me hungrily. Over and over again, until we were both gasping for breath.
Between those deep, wet kisses, I pointed out my room, and he hoisted me over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift and carried me to my bed.
Hours later, I was drawing slow circles on his chest as he tried to catch his breath when I raised my head and fixed him with a firm stare.
“I still want that divorce,” I said. “And on my own terms. Which means you can stick your money where the sun don’t shine.”
Viren sat up angrily.
“Are you serious? You’re dumping me after what we just did?”
I shook my head and smiled at him.
“I’m just dumping our fake marriage.”.
“And what do you want instead? What is this?” he asked pointing to the two of us wrapped up in each other’s arms.
“This is a new beginning,” I replied with a deep sigh of contentment.