Rei
Jun and the rest of 5N filmed the dance choreography in the front room of the house, breaking off for individual takes in some of the hallways and a few on the front porch.
Rei kept his kit close and touched up makeup now and then as needed.
But he avoided Jun, letting Ellisandre handle anything with him.
Watching them dance kept putting a lump in Rei’s throat.
Jun, Yoihei, Geun, Jaewoong, and Su-jin were good.
Better than good. They were internationally acclaimed idols, and even working on a next-to-nothing budget and a cobbled together crew, it showed.
Their new PR person slash manager was a slight Korean woman with flawless English who showed up late to the filming because she’d been on calls doing the other part of her job.
Warmth filled Rei’s chest watching her coordinate with Jun and check in with Richard.
She was gentle. Jun was the boss. There was no hitting, no slapping, no harangues. No threats. Just a team.
Rei found a corner to sit in and wrapped his arms around his knees, watching. Something in his chest untangled and blossomed. And when Damian leaned over and kissed Jun full on the mouth in passing, Rei had to blink back tears.
He could stay in the shadows forever, as long as this existed.
The last set of taping was in the sanctuary of the church.
They were using the dais and altar for visual impact with the choreography formation working around the physical space.
Time was against them. There were specific shots the group wanted to get as the sun went down from the balcony and the doorway-like area in the wall behind the altar some kept referring to as the baptismal.
Rei fixed Su-jin’s makeup twice. They’d selectively dirtied themselves up for this set of shots, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t still updating eyes and lips and making sure the dirt remained artistically smeared.
Rei grinned behind his mask as 5N took their places ready for the camera to roll one last time.
It was a hard hitting choreo. Richard had gone downstairs with security twice to check the supports in the basement under the altar, even though Ellisandre said an engineer had cleared the space for filming.
They were moving fast and strong, slamming kinetic energy down into the floor with their feet and up into their air with kicks, displaying an impressive amount of martial arts in their choreography, significantly more than Rei had seen them use before.
This was what 5N could be on their own, without Bak Gyeong breathing down their necks.
Even as tired as everyone was from more than ten hours of work, they were still bringing the energy and high-fiving each other and everyone around them after each successful finish.
Rei had long since memorized the repeated choreography. He could feel it in his body. The words were set in his head as if he’d written them in titanium. They were the angriest, fiercest lyrics 5N had produced, but not the darkest.
Rei hugged himself, remembering scraps of paper passed between himself and Junseo in their dormitory as young teens.
Songs they’d written knowing they’d never be approved.
Perhaps Jun still had some of them, or perhaps they’d been destroyed after 5N escaped.
What was certain was that Jun, Yoihei, Jaewoong, Geun, and Su-jin were enjoying shedding their clean boy-band energy.
Despite the cold, they were shifting between fully covered takes and versions with less clothes, open vests, torn T-shirts, and unbottoned coats without a shirt.
Damian and Ellisandre were handling the costume changes, sometimes leaving Rei to do most of the makeup.
Alice was supposed to be doing makeup, but she’d mostly been moved to lights alongside Ash to help émeric.
“Damn, I love and hate this setup. Nobody better get hurt.”
Rei turned his head. 5N’s choreographer, Gigi, a short woman with kinky hair, had stopped to stand beside him, her eyes fixed on the dais.
“Ready?” Gigi called out.
“Ready,” Jun answered. The sounds of the song track filled the space.
They finished with the group section. Everyone except for Jun faded back.
Jun collected himself, communicating with their PR person.
Her name, Rei had finally learned, was Mi Hi.
The song track started to play again. Jun had practiced this section earlier several times.
Rei knew exactly what the choreography was supposed to be. They were going for one take.
Jun’s body moved to the music as he knelt in the center of the altar.
His hand came up, tearing away the front of his pre-ripped shirt, head falling back as he belted out the lyrics, slender abs rippling under the lights.
They wouldn’t use the sound recording from this take, that was done in a studio, but lip movements needed to match the words and Jun sang like he was performing on stage anyway.
He lifted an open wine bottle high, a dark red vintage, poured it over his head and shoulders, then threw it to the side.
It shattered beyond the dais as Jun flung himself forward in a tense pose, body held up on his palms and the balls of his feet.
He stared at the front camera, lowering himself into a pushup, shaking with the strain of the emotion and belting out the lyrics as he went down.
“All the world’s stage against my throat.”
As he reached the lowest part, his hand slipped in the wine.
He fell over the front of the altar, his body tucking into a roll as he tumbled.
He crashed down to the strewn rubble, his back to the altar, his legs spread out on the floor.
His chest rose and fell. No one spoke, and slowly, he raised his palm to his face, pushing his wine-soaked hair away from his eyes.
Blood smeared across his cheek. And like the professional he was, he never took his eyes off the camera.
Then he took a breath, breaking the moment, and pushed himself up. “Cut.”
Rei gulped in a breath. Damian rushed forward, grabbing Jun’s injured hand.
Jun looked down at it. “Fuck, do we have to do that again?”
“That wasn’t the plan,” Damian snapped.
“Keep it,” Yoihei said. “It’s better than the plan.”
People started to move and Rei lost sight of Jun for a moment. He wanted to go check on his Junseo, but he couldn’t. Not without blowing his cover.
As people parted, Jun became visible again. He was leaning against the altar, and his lover, Damian, was still fussing over him. “I want to see it,” Jun was saying.
“It was perfect,” Damian retorted. “Especially if you wanted to cut someone’s chest open, like mine.”
Jun laughed, eyes on Damian, then quieted a little, meeting Damian’s eyes. “It felt real.”
Rei’s chest hurt. He pressed his hand against it.
“It was.” Damian moved closer to Jun.
Jun grabbed Damian and dragged the two of them together, not even trying to keep his bloody palm off Damian’s clothes, just bringing him in and taking the other man’s lips in a fierce kiss.
Jaewoong jogged past, heading towards the staircase to the baptismal. “Get a room!”
Jun didn’t stop devouring Damian. He gave Jaewoong the middle finger without even looking up.
Jaewoong groaned and kept moving. “Don’t take too long!”
“Jun, get a bandage on that hand,” Mi Hi called out. “We’ve got to finish before we lose the sun upstairs.”
“Who’s got bandages?”
“Andres,” Ellisandre answered from the balcony above where they were helping Su-jin. “In my bag.”
Rei hurried to Ellisandre’s bag and dug through it, ignoring the gun case at the top. The first aid kit was in the inner side pocket. He limped back to Damian and Jun and opened it up on the dry side of the altar. Jun held out his hand, Damian still holding him by his waist.
Oh. Jun thought Rei was going to bandage it.
His mind skittered in a circle. He put his hand to his mask and glasses.
He could do this. Jun wasn’t even looking at him.
Damian had him fully occupied. Jun had seen him doing makeup and handling the whole group up close and personal all day.
He wouldn’t think anything of it. And he was tired.
It was obvious from the way Damian was starting to take more and more of Jun’s weight as he hit adrenaline crash.
“That was your last one, right?” Damian asked.
Rei pulled on gloves, opened a sanitary cloth, and started to clean Jun’s palm.
“Last one I’m in.” Jun sagged deeper and his voice hitched as Rei pulled a piece of something sharp out of his cut palm. “But I need to get upstairs and make sure we get the shots we need of Su-jin. Yoihei will make sure Jaewoong’s covered.
“Someday you’ll have a full crew back,” Damian murmured.
“I like this crew,” Jun replied. “It’s safe. Everyone here has been awesome. You have no idea what taping with Bak Gyeong was like. As tired as I am right now . . .” Jun’s voice trailed off. “This feels like home.”
Rei blinked hard so he could barely see to finish wrapping a bandage around Jun’s palm. He started on a larger wrap to keep it in place for the rest of the night. There was too much in the space that was potentially dangerous.
“Rei would have loved this,” Jun said softly. “He always liked the cinematic.”
“He was your hyung,” Damian said. “Would he scold you for getting hurt?”
Jun laughed and flexed his hand as Rei let go. “Rei didn’t scold much. He just looked at you and you wanted to do better. He knew we got enough scolding from everyone else.” He looked down at his bandaged hand and then at Rei. “Thank you. That feels good.”
Rei nodded. He couldn’t speak. He was going to cry.
Thank goodness for the low lights now that everything was being taken upstairs.
Instead, he turned his back and busied himself closing up the first aid kit.
He barely made it back to Ellisandre’s bag before he had to reach under his mask and wipe his nose so he could breathe.
“Yo.” Geun hurried towards Rei as he tried to catch his breath.” Rei sniffed and straightened up. “You okay?”
Rei nodded and gave a thumbs up. He was still crying too hard to speak. Geun frowned as if he wasn’t certain. “Um, if you’re sure, Jaewoong needs to get done up for the baptismal shot.”
Rei reached for his makeup kit. He could do this. If he could be naked in a room full of monsters, he could do his old friend’s make up one last time. He could.
And then he’d fall apart later. Maybe Lisa would let him make a snot-covered mess of him in bed if Sevastyan wasn’t around. Why was he crying anyway? This was more than he’d ever dared hope for.