Chapter 34 #2
My hands scrubbed over my face and tired eyes as my headache spread across my brow and into the back of my eyes.
The worst pain I felt though, was in my chest. The pain stabbed at my heart and, for the second time today, tears pricked at my eyes.
I swiped the backs of my hand across my eyes before Roman saw it, I didn’t need him calling me out on being a pussy as well.
“Gav, mate, I need you to really think about what you want, because if you meant those words, then you’ve lost everything.
If you didn’t, and they were in the heat of the moment, you need to tell her.
You need to do everything in your power to make her understand, and you need to make her see how sorry you are.
Everything else is salvageable. We can get you help for everything else. ”
“Fuck,” I sniffed. My voice shook with emotion, I couldn’t hide the tears anymore. It was a feeling I’d never experienced. But still I nodded, and for the second time in my life, I thanked whoever was up there that Roman was always putting up with my shit.
“Why Rome? Why do you always pull me out of the gutter, you’d be better off walking away.”
“Because we’re not just mates, you’re my brother.
And…well, I’m scared.” He shrugged. With my eyes wide at his statement, he met my gaze, “I’m scared I’m going to wake up one day and you won’t be around.
What do I do then?” His body sagged and his shoulders hunched as he sat next to me.
“Since I was twelve you’ve been there, my partner in crime.
And even though I have Paisley now, I’ll always need my best mate, my brother, by my side.
” Shit. “I know I don’t tell you this often, if at all, but I love you, Gav.
You keep me grounded. You keep things real… ”
“I’m sorry.” I choked out. “I don’t mean to make things harder.” If he kept going with all these feelings, I’d be fucking wailing. “If it means anything, I love you too, man.
He stood from the settee and held out his hand. I wiped my eyes from these pussy tears and took it, grasped it tightly and stood up.
Roman pulled me into a friendly man hug, “I’m always here for you, mate.” he patted my back as I patted his, then I pulled away to wipe my face.
“I know. I’ll try harder.” Just as I was removing any evidence of me being a pussy, Roman’s phone rang from inside his pocket.
As he pulled it out, he glanced at the screen and answered.
“Nik?” My eyes rolled. “What? Now? But she’s early!
” I frowned at the one-sided conversation.
He looked at me, panic written all over his face, which in turn concerned me. “Fuck. I’m on my way.”
“What’s wrong? Is she in labour?”
“Her BP is sky fucking high, and they’re taking her in to the hospital.” He started making his way for the door. “Nikki found her collapsed on the fucking floor having contractions.”
“Oh fuck. Do you need me to come?” He took in a deep breath and blew it back out and planted his hands on his hips.
“No. I need you to make this fucking right.” He was trying to act cool, but I knew Roman, and deep down he was fucking shitting bricks. He reached the door and turned back to me, “And Gav, for the record, I’m not bothered about me, you need to make this right for you.”
With a steady nod, I smiled. “Keep me updated.”
“Oh, and don’t go in there like a bull at a gate.”
“Okay, just go.” I rushed towards him and pushed him through the door and shut it behind him, putting my back against it to stop him from coming back in. My head shook and I blew out a sigh. What a fucking day. And my head still hurt.
I needed tablets, I left the room and went in search of someone to find me some paracetamol. I tapped the first guy I found on the shoulder. “Hey.”
He turned around and frowned, “Is Alex around?”
“Come with me.” I grinned at the grumpy fucker in front of me. As he walked ahead, I followed. We walked down a long corridor until we reached an office at the end. He knocked and opened the door. “Visitor.”
He held his arm out and I went in. Alex sat at his desk, all mighty and serious as he drummed his fingers together with his forearms settled on the desk.
“What can I do for ya, Gav?” How the fuck could he be so polite when every time I see him, he had to stop me from fucking up.
He directed me to the chair in front of his desk. I took his offer and sat down placing my elbows on the sides of the chair. “I just wanted to say thank you, again. You know, this is the second time you’ve stopped me from being a prick.”
“Well, it seems you’ve got being a dick down to a fine art,” he grinned, “don’t worry. We’ve all been one of those. I know I have; ask Quinn.”
The mention of Quinn had me cringing. “And what has he had to say about my little outburst?”
Alex chuckled, I’m glad the fucker thought this was amusing, “Hm, Quinn. Luckily for you, my brother has returned to New York. He’s not as patient as I am.
I remember being the same and partying too much; it was why he took me under his wing.
And anyway, I’m managing this place until we can find someone suitable to run it.
” He sighed and looked around, but something was playing on his mind, “but you know what, I might relocate. I need a new challenge and not much is holding me in the Big Apple anymore.” There was a wistful look on his face.
“Well, you can always give me a call if you want a tour guide, and when I say guide, I mean bars.” I grinned as I got up. “Look, I just wanted to say thanks, and of course, apologise for everything.”
Reaching my arm out across his desk I offered him my hand, he took it and as we shook, he held it a little firmer. “I appreciate it. You’ve got some good guys around you, buddy, let them help you.” I nodded swiftly and pulled my hand back.
“Thanks, Alex. Listen, I have to get going, I got some serious grovelling to do.”
“Pussy whipped!” He chuckled but carried on talking, “Lucas is outside the door, he’ll show you out.”
As I stood, I remembered the tablets I was on the search for.
“You don’t have painkillers, do you?” He opened a drawer and slipped his hand inside; he shook a little white bottle at me, I took them from him, popped the lid and shook two out into my hand.
“Thanks, mate.” With a swift nod of his head, I made it to the door.
Alex spoke again, “Just so you know,’ I turned back with my hand on the door, “You’re always welcome here.” I nodded with a smile and finally, with my tail tucked comfortably between my legs I hightailed it out of there. I’d have to stop a cab if I was going to get home anytime soon.
The air was warm on my face, even though it was late evening. Now to think about what I was going to say to Karen. My head still hurt and a sharp pain seared behind my eyes, but I’d take it, because right now, I’d rather that than knowing the pain I’d caused her.
Maybe there was hope for me yet.