Chapter 2 #3
Such thinking required him to pause and think back over his entire association with Jane Bennet, and he was ashamed to admit that Elizabeth was correct.
He had done a great disservice to a young lady who had done him no harm.
If he were sincere, he would have to admit that at least part of his motive was an attempt to avoid Elizabeth, which was even more despicable.
Had he doubted Jane Bennet’s affections, he could have simply told Bingley what he thought and let Bingley make his own decisions.
He could have urged caution, and given Bingley more time to ascertain their true feelings.
Perhaps Bingley could have called on Miss Bennet for weeks or months, or even had a formal courtship.
With relatives in town, he could have even urged her to spend some time away from her mother, where they could get to know each other at leisure.
He could have removed the Bingley sisters from the situation by taking them to Pemberley so Bingley could operate independently.
If he had applied only a tenth of the effort he applied to fix a tenant’s cottage on his estate, he could have come up with a better solution than he had.
He had made a complete hash of more than his own life.
“I believe I owe both your sister and Bingley a great apology, as I have done a terrible wrong in every particular. I cannot look back on my actions without abhorrence. In fact, I can find many more things wrong with my actions than even you have enumerated. Is Miss Bennet still in town?”
“Yes, I will meet her there at my aunt and uncle’s house in Cheapside when I return in a week’s time. We will remain there for several days before returning to Longbourn.”
“Would I ask too much to get the direction to their home? If you allow it, I will return to town at first light tomorrow. I will confess my entire interference in this affair to Bingley, and personally escort him to call upon Miss Bennet. I know not whether he will renew his addresses, but at least he will be honour bound to talk to her and resolve their relationship as they choose. Beyond confessing my sins to both of them, I will interfere no more. Would that be suitable?”
Elizabeth was stunned. The offer was considerably more than she would have thought possible a mere half hour before. In fact, her opinion of Mr Darcy had been so poor at the beginning of the day, that she would not have even considered it a possibility.
Had she, at the time, thought him an honourable man who might be willing to amend his previous mistakes, she could have found a way to have the conversation with him.
In retrospect, it was painfully obvious that her conversation with Colonel Fitzwilliam was the perfect opportunity to open the topic, and perhaps even engage the colonel to her cause—yet she had thought so little of both men that it never occurred to her to even ask them to correct the situation.
Once again, she had misjudged at least one of those men because of her own abominable prejudice against them. Would she ever learn?
“Mr Darcy—William—that is most generous and I could ask no more. I must confess that it never occurred to me to simply ask you to mend your ways, so once again I must apologise for my terribly poor opinion of you that I had this morning. I might also apologise to Colonel Fitzwilliam, because he gave me the perfect opportunity to discuss this rationally, and I thought so little of him that I did not even try.”
“Pray discontinue censuring yourself Elizabeth. Once again—I must ask you upon what evidence you could have thought better of me this morning, or even after your discussion with my cousin. Your opinion of me matched my behaviour, and Colonel Fitzwilliam bragging about the conquest would not have placed his honour in any particular amiable light either. Let us say no more of it. I have made a mistake—and I will do my best to correct it.”
“I could ask no more. I thank you with all my heart. Jane is the dearest person in the world to me, and I would do anything to make her happy.”
“That speaks well to your character as a sister.”
“Before we conclude, might I ask one last question?”
“I will be happy to answer anything you ask.”
Elizabeth took a deep breath. Half an hour before she might have scorched William with the accusations she had received directly from Mr Wickham but was now not at all certain.
Nearly everything she knew about him had been overturned during this conversation, so anything she thought more than an hour before was suspect.
It also occurred to her that Mr Wickham was very smooth and pleasing, but to openly discuss his affairs with another man to someone he had only met moments before was an appalling break in propriety, and she was mortified that she did not see it immediately.
What actual good did she know of the man?
She could not come up with any evidence of his goodness other than his pleasing countenance and smooth manners. The only way to find out was to ask.
Steeling herself, she asked, “Is Mr Wickham to be trusted? He said the vilest things about you, and with my already low opinion, I was a willing and eager listener. It shames me to say I believed nearly everything he said until a few minutes ago, and even helped spread the gossip. It seems my reactions to you have always been extreme one way or the other, and in that case, I quite enjoyed having what I thought was the full knowledge of my disapprobation to share with others. Now I am not at all certain. My opinion of you has improved considerably in this half hour, and I would like to give you a chance to defend yourself.”
Darcy flinched. “George Wickham is quite possibly the vilest man I have ever had the displeasure to meet, and as a long-standing member of the ton, I can assure you that I’ve met quite a number of vile people.
He does have such happy manners, and the ability to please where he chooses, so he tends to make friends easily.
He does not however keep them because he leaves behind a trail of debts and ruined women.
My father did conditionally promise him a living, but he asked for and received three thousand pounds in exchange for that, all of which he lost to licentious behaviour and gaming in less than three years.
“He also has an unnatural hatred of me and will do nearly anything to harm me. My father foolishly gave him a gentleman’s education, without a gentleman’s position so he has always been frightfully jealous.
Your relationship with me started on a very bad note because I was in such a foul mood at the Meryton assembly.
This happened because it was only a month after he attempted to elope with my fifteen-year-old sister.
I only stopped it by the barest of good fortune and coincidence on the day before their departure.
His object was to acquire her dowry of thirty thousand pounds, but more importantly, he desired revenge.
Had he succeeded, his revenge on me would have been complete.
If you like, I shall give you my complete history with him, and I am happy to show you written proof, or you might apply to Colonel Fitzwilliam who as Georgiana’s second guardian is aware of all of the particulars. ”
Elizabeth paled. “This both relieves and distresses me. As strange as it may seem, I am now quite relieved to find you to be an honourable man, much beyond my previous dreadful expectations. Your care of your sister speaks very well of you, and it’s unfortunate that I knew nothing of this previously.
Every bit of evidence I previously heard from Wickham, Caroline Bingley, or anyone else, did not give any positive reference to your character—although all I actually could accuse you of is poor manners.
You were right at the Netherfield ball—I should not have attempted to sketch your character because it reflected credit on neither of us. ”
Elizabeth took a quick breath but needed to continue. First with a good, now for the bad.
“I am however frightfully distressed that you deliberately allowed him to continue his depredations when a man of your power has many means at his disposal to check his behaviour. How many people have been damaged over the years due to your lack of action? I am particularly distressed that you left my sisters, myself, and the people of my tiny village to the depredations of such a man when you had the power to do otherwise. I would not be surprised to return to find him engaged to an unsuspecting heiress, or to have a few more bastards floating around the village. This fills me with dread and grievance. A few words from you to my father, Colonel Forster, or Sir William would have been sufficient to check his behaviour, and you could even have delegated the task to Mr Bingley or Colonel Fitzwilliam. I fear your lack of action does you no credit.”
With another shuddering breath, Elizabeth had one more realisation to enumerate.
“William, I find it odd that it pains me to censure you on this matter. Half an hour ago I would have been happy to have one more stone to throw at you, but now that I see you as a good and honourable man, it simply pains me to have to say this, even when I now couch it in the gentlest of terms, rather than the most hurtful.”