Chapter 16
We danced and played this game or that. We divided, a handful of us on one side, others hidden away behind the piles and piles of—mostly junk, but some stuff worked a little bit, too. It kept us curious. Searching.
It kept us from having to think about the fact that we’d actually lost memories to each other forever.
Eventually, I ended up with Mimi and Helen analyzing this device that looked like some sort of alarm clock, but the bells attached to it refused to make a single sound no matter what we tried.
It took us the better part of an hour because it was in good enough shape that we genuinely believed we could get it to work.
The only thing we managed was to get ourselves frustrated.
By the lantern, Silas and March were sitting down, talking, until Reggie stuck his head from behind a pile and called—“Hey, Red! Get over here, I need your help!”
Just as we went to sit down with them, March stood up with a roll of his glistening eyes.
He was back to his usual self, at least for right now.
He smiled at me, winked, brushed his fingers against mine as he passed me by, and it was impossible not to blush even as I tried to pretend like I didn’t notice.
“Come on, let’s see what he’s got,” said Mimi, always so curious, and Helen waved for us to follow, but I shook my head.
“I’m going to sit here for a little bit first.” It felt like the night was moving too fast and I wanted to just…slow down for a minute.
“You go ahead, and we’ll catch up,” Silas said. He was staying there, too, it seemed.
I didn’t mind. Silas was…okay. Maybe because he was a Spade, but my instincts were always calm around him.
So, I sat on the floor across from him, put my hands back to lean into them, sighed deeply. What a night.
“Tired yet?” he asked.
“Well, yes. Aren’t you?” The trial had been yesterday, and all that dancing had really gotten to me. And then this whole day, with Master Talik and with Asha…a very long day, indeed.
“More…restless than anything,” Silas said. “I did not like having my memories extracted like that.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he flinched, and some of his hair slipped to the front of his eyes. He usually kept it slicked back, but he looked younger like this. More…innocent.
“Me, neither. I can’t believe we’re never going to get them back.” The words almost slipped out of my lips by accident.
I looked at the lantern, so big and bright, its glass frosted only on the bottom half.
The light inside it had already begun to dim.
There was a winder on the back that required spinning every couple hours—and it was the most unusual light, too, that burned in that glass ball in the middle.
Almost like it was meant for something more than just light.
“Do you think about what’s left to lose still?” Silas asked after a tick, and the hairs on my forearms rose. “There’s three more trials to go.”
“Maybe they’ll be different,” I said, despite myself.
“Or maybe they won’t let go until they’ve squeezed us for everything we can offer.”
Laughter bubbled out of me. “You’re so negative!” And he was, but I meant it as a joke, anyway.
His smile turned sad instantly, and he shifted slightly to the side so he could sit parallel to me, and watch the lantern, too.
I thought maybe he didn’t want me to see his face as clearly.
“I prefer the word realistic,” he said.
“There’s something about you, Silas.” I couldn’t really put my finger on it for the life of me, but there was.
“There’s nothing about me at all,” he said.
“Yes, there is. And I’m not the only one who notices. Everybody else does.” Calren, the queens, Master Talik, and Asha, too. They’d all…looked at him differently.
“Maybe because I speak my mind,” Silas said. “Maybe because I say things nobody wants said out loud.”
“You’re not very pro these trials, are you.” It wasn’t a question but a well-known fact by now.
He laughed. “Not at all, no.”
“So then why sign up? Why come here?”
At that, he turned to look at me, almost like he was surprised by my question. “I didn’t feel I had a choice.”
Not the answer I was expecting.
I licked my dry lips. “Were you forced to join the trials, Sy?”
Another laugh. “No, brave Ora. Nothing like that,” he said. “I just felt I had to be here, that’s all.”
And I knew that if I asked why, he wouldn’t tell me. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he didn’t know.
“You aced the tests, though. Like Calren said, you beat hundreds of other applicants to get here.” That had to count for something. This had to count for something.
The other Hands across the junkyard cheered—whatever they were doing, it must’ve been working.
“It’s never about the tests,” Silas said. “Nobody cares how smart you are or how fast you can climb, or how good you are with a sword. The first test is the only one that matters.”
I narrowed my brows. “The first test was a health test.”
He looked at me. “A blood test.”
“Well, yes.” They’d taken a good amount of blood straight from my veins the day I sent in my application. “A blood test.” But that was for health reasons, to make sure we didn’t have any anomalies or any diseases. Mother had been happy—a free checkup, she’d said.
“The only thing they measure is the potential of your magic, Ora,” Silas said with a bitter smile on his face. “That’s the only thing they care about. How much you use. How much you put out with every movement. It’s all energy, and that’s what they need.”
Those words were so…big. And cold. He sounded far too sure for me to even consider he didn’t know what he was talking about.
I looked at him again—really looked at him. “Who are you, Sy?”
When our eyes locked, he wasn’t surprised at all. He was just…sad and afraid at the same time.
Then he smiled. Lowered his head. “Just a cynic at heart, I guess.”
I didn’t believe that for a second, but when I started to speak, he beat me to it.
“So, you and the Heart boy, huh.”
My mouth clamped shut and heat rushed to my cheeks instantly.
“No, no, it’s…it’s…” But yes. Yes, me and the Heart boy.
Silas chuckled. “Just be careful is all I’m saying. You know what they say about Hearts.”
“I know. It’s…it’s not like that.” Again, I spoke as if I were someone else or I was being guided by someone else because yes, it was exactly like that.
“You never know with them. They manipulate emotions before you even realize what’s happening.”
“Yes, yes, I know what they say about Hearts.” They did manipulate emotions, and they could amplify or fade existing ones, but they couldn’t make an emotion from scratch.
Even so, that would never be March. He just…wasn’t like that.
“He can’t do magic like that if he wanted. It takes a lot of studying and practicing to be able to manipulate emotions and memories and such—he’s our age.”
“I know, but they still have a natural affinity for it. Just like you have a natural affinity to close loops or recognize bad magics or seal unbreakable deals.”
I raised a brow. “You mean we.” He forgot he was a Spade, too. “And also—no, I don’t know the first thing about breaking loops or recognizing bad magics. I’ve just finished high school.”
“Of course I mean we. I mean all Spades,” Silas said. “I bet you, if you tried, you could do it.”
Maybe he was right. I just never really thought about it. I was too busy…well, feeling sorry for myself the past two years.
Time’s Teeth, I never even realized what a vicious cycle I had been in for such a long time…
“I get it, though,” Silas continued.
“Get what?”
“Why you’d go for him.” He nodded to the side, to where March and the Seth were carrying a big piece of metal together—and March was looking right at me until he disappeared behind that big pile again. My heart was his prisoner all the while.
Heat on my cheeks again but I was smiling. “‘Cuz he’s handsome and funny and…big?” It was meant as a joke, and Silas did laugh, but he shook his head.
“Because he’d probably burn this whole place down for you.” And he waved a finger at the ceiling to indicate the junkyard that wasn’t a junkyard at all.
“He wouldn’t do that,” I muttered, and I told myself not to like the idea that he would. I told myself over and over, but I failed.
Silas grinned. “Ah, but he would.”
I forced myself to roll my eyes, but I was still smiling. “How would you know?”
“Just the way he looks at you. Like you’re more important than everything else around here.”
My heart about broke out of me. I suddenly felt like I could run all around the realm twice and not get tired.
“You mean like you look at Reggie?”
His laughter was sudden and loud and sharp, and it made me laugh, too.
“Observant,” Silas said, shaking his head. “You’re also Observant Ora, it seems.” Only because it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Then…
“Hey! You two! Get your asses here right now!” Reggie, of course.
Silas and I exchanged a quick look, and he was as red in the face now as I was. We laughed when we stood up to go see what they were up to, feeling reborn, renewed from the bad feelings that followed the first trial.
Then the doors of the junkyard opened.
Within minutes, everything fell apart.
Timekeepers, the help, and soldiers dressed in armor had found us, and they were all inside the junkyard now, telling us that we did not have permission to be here, let alone at this hour.
We were told to leave, right now, that the warden was already informed and he was on his way down here.
But the worst part? The Timekeeper who barked the orders clearly said that we were not allowed back here ever again.
We tried to reason with him first, tell him that we weren’t doing anything wrong, that we were just hanging out and looking at the old devices, but he wouldn’t hear it.