30. Chapter 30
Chapter 30
Mack
M aisie marched into the doctors office the next morning like a woman on a mission, I hadn't seen that little spark of defiance in her in a very long time, life had been content, she'd had a chance to relax.
Now, if something was wrong then she was determined that she wasn't going down without a fight, I on the other hand was barely holding it together. The way she had felt yesterday when she thought she was going to lose me, that's how I was feeling right at this moment. There were too many questions unanswered, too many variables, it could be nothing or it could be something truly terrifying.
Whatever it was, we would fight it together.
The poor man was left completely stricken in his seat, he wasn't entirely sure what to make of my wife that's for sure. She laid it all out for him in black and white. The doctor could barely get a word in edgeways until she had finished what she was saying, I just looked at her in awe. This woman had been dealt a pretty shit start in life and had been through more than any person should have to but she was here, a fighter, a warrior. And damn I was so in love with her. This Maisie was taking me back to when we first met, when she'd stood up for me on that camping trip, that was the first real moment that I witnessed the utter strength that this woman possessed.
"So, I've been experiencing pain on and off for the past few months. The pain is usually in my shoulders and arms, sometimes my back and legs. When I'm in pain everything just feels super sensitive, a soft brush against my skin can feel like fire trailing across and burning me, soft nails on my scalp feel like they're cutting through my skin. The pain is throbbing, shooting, comes and goes. Never remains in one place."
She paused to take a breath, the doctor opened his mouth to speak but my wife wasn't finished. She held up a hand to silence him as she continued, I couldn't hold back the smile of pride that burst forth.
"Some days I have no pain, I feel totally fine. Then the next day I feel like I can barely get out of bed. On the days that I'm suffering, I'm so goddamn tired I feel like I could sleep all day and night, my brain is foggy, my eyes hurt, even my hair hurts. Then, next day, gone. Now, Doc, there is something wrong with me, I don't know if it's bad or really really bad but you're going to get to the bottom of it okay? I need to live, I need to be here for my husband so you're going to save me okay?" Her voice cracked right at the end, the pain and fear trying to make itself known but she swallowed it down and then looked expectantly at the now silent doctor. He looked between us, acknowledging my look of amusement.
"You may speak now," Maisie waved a hand in front of her, giving the poor terrified man permission to now do his job.
He sat forward, bracing his elbows on the table before beginning to speak,
"Well Mrs Richards, thank you for being so thorough in your description. There are so many options here, many different reasons to explain why you're in pain. I think we should start with some tests. I'd like to send you for a full blood screening which will search for anything and everything. Secondly, I'd like to do a thorough physical exam. Would you be happy for me to do that now?"
Maisie was out of her chair in a flash,
"Do whatever you want Doc. I just want answers."
"Of course, are you happy for your hus-".
"My husband stays, my husband always stays." I swallowed the lump that had quickly formed in my throat and reached forward to give her fingers a squeeze.
The doctor spent the next twenty minutes checking Maisie over, height and weight, blood pressure … he examined every part of her. He checked her joints, checking pressure points and blood circulation. He was very thorough, keeping notes of everything he did and letting Maisie know what he was looking for. It was hard watching her flinch and cry out in pain as he pressed certain points on her body. I'd take her place in a heartbeat if I could.
When he was done, he insisted on waiting for the blood test results to come back before even beginning to guess what the diagnosis may be. He didn't want to put any hopes or fears in our minds, for which I was incredibly grateful.
We had an appointment to come back in a week to discuss the results and figure out our next steps.
One week.
One week to wait and worry and contemplate what was going on.
We walked out of the surgery hand in hand, it was the beginning of winter now and the weather had turned dramatically. Good old British weather, today it was cold, the sun shining bright in the sky.
Piper had decided to close the surgery for today, we'd all had a very long day yesterday and were in need of some rest, I know she'd mainly done it for Maisie's sake so she didn't feel pressured into going back to work after her appointment.
I was exhausted, the physical toll that yesterday had taken on my body was extreme. Everything ached, bruises had bloomed on my body from our fight to get into that car. Mostly, I just felt exhausted emotionally, when I saw that spark turn into flames I saw my life flash before my eyes and the only face that filled my mind was my Maisie .
We had just managed to get the man out safely and move about five metres away when the car exploded, we were all thrown into the air and landed awkwardly on the concrete. I thought I was dead, I thought we were all dead. For a few seconds we all just laid there in complete shock, the boom had blown out our hearing, the impact damaging our helmets which were quickly pulled off and flung to the floor.
Thankfully everybody was okay, we were all covered in grazes and bruises but for the most part – we were unharmed.
With her newfound day off, Maisie had decided to go and meet Sophie for a coffee and do some retail therapy, to take her mind off everything she'd said. The real reason was to let me go home and rest though. She was always looking out for everyone else that woman. It was one of the reasons why everybody loved her so much, her never ending need to take care of everybody else, she was the most selfless person I'd ever met.
So I traipsed my way up the front steps and let myself into the silent house, the housework needed doing but I'd make a start on that after a nap, a much needed nap. I pulled off my shoes and jeans and fell onto our bed face first and was out like a light. The physical exhaustion from yesterday dragging me into a dreamless sleep.
I woke a couple of hours later, somewhat refreshed. I checked my phone quickly to see that Maisie and Sophie were now getting there nails done. I laid for a long time just staring at the ceiling, that box under the bed had been calling to me since Maisie had given me permission to open it, maybe now was the time whilst she was out .
Maisie was terrified that whatever is in that box could give her the answers to what was hurting her, as if there was some hereditary disease that she was yet to discover. I could do this for her, I could open that file and read about Maisie's early life. I rolled over and tumbled off the bed onto my knees and reached underneath the bed before I could talk myself out of it. I pulled out the file which was absolutely packed full of papers, I had no idea what I was about to discover but this file had been plaguing Maisie for twenty years, it was time to put it to bed.
I flipped open the folder and began to scan each page, most of it seemed to include social services information, details of Maisie's foster homes and the many different schools she'd been enrolled in. The further I flicked through, I found nothing really of importance until I found a plastic wallet filled with baby photos of Maisie. Her little chubby cheeks and red curls made me picture what our future children might look like. There were pictures of her from birth all the way up until she was around ten, when she'd lost her parents. I pulled them out and placed them on the floor beside me, there were pictures of her parents in there, I knew they'd mean a lot to her. I'd managed to get the old ones in her apartment digitally repaired but they'd never been the same again since the break in all those years ago. She would treasure these new photos, I knew she would.
I continued flicking through the pages, there were details about what Maisie had inherited from her parents, their medical information which thankfully contained no information on scary diseases. Then I came to the very last page, which was another plastic wallet containing two white envelopes.
One was addressed to Maisie and the other simply had the letter M on the front. I held each envelope in my hands as I contemplated what to do next. Maisie had been adamant that whatever news this file contained that she wanted me to break it to her, she didn't want to read it for herself. She wanted me to soften the blow, that is the only reason I slid my finger beneath the seal of the envelope, ripping along that seam and pulling out a folded piece of paper .
I took a deep breath before unfolding that paper and taking in the handwritten letter addressed to Maisie … from her mother.
Dear Maisie Moo,
Our beautiful baby girl, if you're reading this letter then it means that for whatever reason we didn't make it and I can't tell you how sorry we are for that. It breaks my heart writing this letter but you never know what's around the corner baby and we wanted to be prepared just in case.
I don't know at what age you're reading this, whether you are five or twenty five but just know that we love you endlessly. This letter has been instructed to be given to you when you turn eighteen but if I know you at all baby then you didn't read it straight away. You always were a stubborn little madam with that fiery red hair and huge personality.
You were everything we ever dreamed of sweetheart and just know that we are looking down on you with such pride in our hearts, you're going to be brilliant, you're going to do big things and we just wish that we'd been there to see it all.
Now, there's an important reason that we are writing this letter to you, just in case we never get to tell you in person and believe me we wish we'd had the chance to tell you face to face and we really hope that it doesn't change your opinion of us.
As you know, Dad and I got together when we were fifteen and sixteen, we were so young, just babies really. Well, something happened and we did something.
Maisie …
The ink was smudged with tears, Maisie's mum struggling to write the words even though she didn't know for sure that she'd ever have to give it.
I carried on reading, the next sentence wiped every single breath of air from my lungs. Holy shit! I looked to the ceiling, back to the paper, around the room as if something would jump out and explain all of this to me. I couldn't comprehend it, not just what it said but that all of these years had passed without Maisie knowing …
In the next breath, the bedroom door flew open, Maisie stood in the doorway holding copious amounts of shopping bags. the smile on her face dropped instantly when she saw me on the carpet of our bedroom surrounded by paperwork and photos.
I looked up at her as if I was a kid caught with my hand in the cookie jar, I didn't say anything and neither did she. Until she finally dropped her bags on the floor and pasted on that same mask of bravado that she wore at the doctors office this morning.
"Out with it Muscles, what does it say?"
"Maisie, you – I – she," I took a breath and cleared my throat, she was bracing for impact, I could see it in the way she was holding her body. If she could be strong then so could I.
"It's nothing bad baby." I told her with a smile and she literally deflated in relief.
"But there is something you need to know about. There are no hereditary illnesses or anything like that, both of your parents medical files are in here and they were all good baby, but … there is something. Something good, something amazing."
Maisie was just staring at me, waiting for me to break the news that was going to change her life forever.
I pulled her down and into my lap, before she fell. She swept her arms around my neck and I held her closely as I looked into those beautiful blue eyes and made her dreams come true.
"Baby … you have a brother."
Maisi e
I felt like I hadn't heard him properly, or he was talking some other language that I couldn't understand.
"What?" I asked with a nervous laugh.
"Maisie, little flame, you have a brother. An older brother by eight years. His name is Maverick." The words weren't making sense, I'd spent my entire life completely alone before I'd met Mack and formed a family.
"Baby read this …" he handed over the paper, filled with handwriting that I immediately recognised as my mothers. I hadn't seen it in over twenty years, hot tears burned the back of my eyes as I read through the letter until I reached the line that shared that unbelievable news.
Maisie … you have an older brother. His name is Maverick and he's eight years older than you. I got pregnant when I was fifteen years old and we just weren't able to care for him. We loved him so much, we still do but we had to do what was right for him. Grandma and Grandpa refused to help us, they pretty much wiped their hands of us as soon as we told them.
We had no other choice baby and it's something that haunts us always. We put Maverick up for adoption when he was born, we spent an hour with him and then he was taken away. We had an open adoption which meant that we received photos of him and we checked in on him a few times a year. He was gorgeous baby, just like you. I'm sorry he wasn't there when you were growing up and I wish we'd been able to tell you all of this to your face.
Look inside Mummy's necklace honey, one picture is of us when you were first born, the other picture is of Maverick. You looked so much alike when you were a new born.
I just wanted to tell you myself sweetheart that you were never alone, you just weren't together yet. I'm sorry we kept it from you but you were so young, it wasn't time.
Anyway, I hope this letter finds you well, just know that we miss you everyday and wish more than anything that we could be there with you. Find yourself a nice man and make us lots of grandbabies okay?
And Maisie … go and find your brother sweetheart. I don't know what he knows of us, or you. When you find him could you give him his letter, the one addressed to M.
We love you endlessly,
Mummy and Daddy xxx
I cried harder than I'd ever cried before, not because I was sad or disappointed but because we'd wasted so much time. Maverick would be forty years old now, forty years he'd been out there thinking that I didn't love him.
I've only just learnt about him but I love him already.
I wasn't alone all of those years, I didn't lose my entire family in one day, there's someone left and I'm determined to find him.
I have a brother. I have … a brother.