Chapter 23 #2
I tugged more forcefully at my wrist, and he looked down in surprise he still held it. He released my wrist, sliding it back around his torso in embarrassment. I decided to offer an olive branch.
“Look, Odelm. I’m sorry for not contacting you about canceling our swimming lesson.
I should’ve been more thoughtful. I’d had a spur-of-the-moment idea over breakfast and got excited, but I should’ve contacted you before I dove into my research.
I really do want to learn how to swim, and I didn’t mean to make you worry. ”
“I forgive you. I know you have a lot going on at the moment. Can we forget it and go get you something to eat? I have a performance soon and would like you there to hear it. You can even study at the café.”
I smiled at him, glad we had cleared the air, and he wasn’t upset with me about forgetting our plans. “I’d enjoy that.”
Odelm escorted me to the café and kept me company for my late lunch.
Nursing a drink, he quizzed me about my research and how my pregnancy was progressing.
I enjoyed our conversation. As I finished the last of my meal, I decided to just ask him the question that had been burning in my mind since I’d learned about his past. Surely, we had become friends, and he’d forgive my nosiness.
“Odelm, can I ask you something?”
He turned from the wristband he’d been studying to look up at me. “What is it?”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.
Feel free to tell me it’s none of my business—I know it’s both personal and sensitive—but I’ve not been able to figure it out.
Why were you released from your courting bond?
What did you do that it was severed?” I whispered, trying to gauge his reaction.
He shut his eyes and took a shuddering breath. Grabbing his drink, he opened his eyes and gazed into the swirling liquid before taking a sip.
“I am sure you have noticed both Xylo and I look different from everyone else aboard ship?”
After a few seconds, I realized he was waiting for my reply. Hurriedly, I answered, “Yes, but I don’t see how that’s a problem? You’re both beautiful. Plus, anyone who’d judge your worth solely on your looks is a fool.”
He grimaced and said with a snort, “Well, Xylo is lucky to have you as his nestqueen because others do not agree.” He turned and met my eyes, his own brimming with sadness and hurt.
“Her name does not matter anymore. She was the wealthy daughter of a shop my fathers did business with often. She thought I was a prize to be had and offered to take me as her nestmate after one of my performances. I agreed—what male in my situation would not?” He paused and took another deep breath.
“I took the offer though I did not know her well. As a musician with a decided lack of looks, I had known chances were slim I would ever be part of a nestqueen’s clan.
This was an unlooked-for opportunity, and I seized on it.
And it would provide my fathers with a permanent connection to her clan.
“Things seemed fine. I did what every male would do to win over their nestqueen—following her, doing her bidding, caring for her. I only performed when I was not needed. After one of my performances, she came to me. She stated she was having doubts about our court bond. Other nestqueens were judging her. They said I was too pretty to be male, and since I played music, I was not masculine enough to have as a nestmate. She said she would overlook their criticisms and accept my bonding spore, only if I quit performing. If I only played music for her—in private.”
My heart bled for him as I tried not to let the tears overflow. He had been treated abominably and given how traumatic a severed courting bond appeared to be, I could understand now why Odelm seemed to be angry at females in general. I reached across the table to cover his hand with my own.
He looked down at our joined hands, his face anguished.
“And you picked your music over having a nestqueen?”
“Yes. I had heard how painful severing it could be, but I could not imagine it being more painful than being separated from my music. The occasional private performance would not have been enough.”
“Do you regret it?” I asked quietly.
He looked up at me. “I only regret having established a courting bond with her in the first place. Yes, being able to play is worth this hollow feeling.”
“I’m your friend. If there’s anything I can do to help...” I squeezed his hands. “Feel free to come and talk to me anytime. I want to be there for you as you have been for me.”
He gave me a sad smile before pulling his hands away and glancing down at his wristband.
“Thank you. Surprisingly, I feel better being able to talk to you about it. I had always assumed discussing it would make it worse. I will remember this conversation. But right now, I need to get ready for my performance. Will you stay?”
“I would love to. I’ll sit here and listen as I continue my research.”
“Thank you, Selena. I will return when I am done.”
I watched him thoughtfully for a moment as he left the booth and stepped up on stage. Then I turned back to Xylo’s tablet to continue where I’d left off.
Odelm’s music that night was slow and emotion-filled.
Each note made me feel what he felt. I was the one riding high, then plunging into despair as I soared and dipped with his incredible performance.
I finally gave up my vain attempts to study and simply leaned back in the booth and closed my eyes to listen.
Time passed, and I lost myself in the music, listening to Odelm put his heart into his music until darkness overcame me.