Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Odelm
Jealousy was something Odelm had rarely experienced, but it had been his constant companion since Selena had come into his life. Was it really only a few short days ago?
He had long since accepted the hand the Fates had dealt him, but he was feeling emotions he had not since he was a youngling. Seeing how Master Scholar Xylo and Selena interacted, he had found himself longing—as he once had—to be better, to be accepted.
He wished a nestqueen like Selena had been the one to pick him. To be given the freedom to play his music while having the mental comforts of a nestqueen...
Odelm still felt Xylo should have taken a break from his work to aid Selena in adjusting to life on the ship.
He was amazed at her resilience. He could not comprehend how she could so readily accept everything that had happened to her, that it had made her neither bitter nor timid.
The fact she consistently defended Xylo—and argued her strong belief nestmates should be allowed the independence to follow their interests—baffled him, but he knew that it was proof of her character.
‘What-ifs’ had flooded every waking moment since she had talked to him that first day.
He still had not forgiven himself for making her leak water—what she called ‘crying.’ Selena was not like any of the nestqueens he had known.
Including the ones aboard ship—who he still believed would forget their fine new ideals and dreams, reverting to the old ways once they had settled on a new planet.
He had certainly never considered—nor wanted—another chance to prove himself to a nestqueen.
Until now—until he had met Selena.
She had taught him not to stereotype and not all females were the same.
Perhaps it was because she was an alien race.
Or maybe it was her resilience and optimism, despite her years of abuse.
Kaede had told Odelm a few details about Selena’s past when they had eaten lunch together, and even those few had horrified him.
She was so kind and interested in others—remarkable given her limited exposure to others as a Yaarkin prisoner.
Odelm was simply grateful she had directed that kindness toward him and had persisted, despite his attempts to push her away.
As Odelm worked his hands and tentacles across the Ulepo—a multi-tiered organ developed by another species in CEG—he was glad to be counted her friend and determined to deserve it.
To deserve her.
Conversant in many styles of music, capable of playing a multitude of songs from memory, and with a natural talent for improvisation, Odelm closed his eyes and lost himself in the music.
As he drifted with the music, he marveled over Selena’s acceptance of his past, her anger and hurt on his behalf, that she was not disgusted by him as a severed male. When she had touched his hands, her emotions had flooded him.
Shock. Dismay. Heartbreak.
Awe. Inspiration. Sympathy.
She stunned him—precisely why he needed to keep distance between them. He didn’t trust himself with her. She brought out thoughts and feelings he had not felt in ages.
Odelm opened his eyes and peered across his Ulepo to the booth where he had left Selena.
She leaned back in the booth, her intriguing blue-green eyes closed, swaying to the music.
Her expression was serene, clearly lost in the music.
Her silver hair fell in a sheet, covering the uppermost of the white spots that patterned her bronze skin.
Those spots fascinated him. He had tried numerous times to connect the spots to find their pattern—when her arms were exposed by her halter as they ate in the café, when they had spent time in the terrarium pond swimming.
He had yet to find a pattern. Her body was a living piece of art, one he could get lost staring at.
Pulling his gaze away with an effort, Odelm tried to clear his inappropriate thoughts.
She was not his nestqueen and such thoughts were dangerous.
He would not ruin the friendship she offered with the fantasies and urges he knew were a result of his changed biology, his instincts—the urges and instincts that never left once a court bond was formed.
Being severed did not allow a male to return to asexuality.
With Selena, the blind anger at the females around him—that usually shielded him from sexual thoughts and prevented any unrequited attraction—was fast vanishing.
All right, he acknowledged—had vanished.
Selena was so different from Circuli females, both mentally and physically, he could not help his attraction.
These thoughts, and many others, plagued Odelm as he played.
Odelm’s gaze, of its own volition, drifted back to Selena. He almost made a mistake in his playing—something he never did.
She had fallen asleep.
Her head leaned against the cushions of the booth, and her hair had fallen across one eye. Her lips were parted, and he could see the evenness of her breaths from the stage.
He immediately felt guilty. Had he known she was tired, he would never have asked her to stay and listen to his performance. Now he was the one who was not taking care of her properly.
Glancing at his wristband, he noted with relief his scheduled performance was almost over. He focused on the remainder of his set while keeping a close eye on her booth. As the last note faded, Odelm was already pulling the cover over his Ulepo.
He hurried over to Selena.
“Selena?” he whispered.
He waited a few moments for a response that did not come. Leaning closer to her ear, he cupped her shoulder and gave a slight squeeze. “Selena?” he said, a little louder.
She still did not respond.
Warning bells went off in his head. Was she okay? Or was her unresponsiveness due to her pregnancy? He knew nothing about humans, but this did not seem normal.
Odelm carefully picked Selena up in his arms, using one of his tentacles to grab her tablet while the others helped secure her to his chest.
But where to take her?
He thought for a moment and decided waking in the infirmary might frighten her, so he would take her to her suite and call Xylo en route. He could meet them there and check on her.
As he left the café, Odelm sent an urgent mental knock to Xylo’s shields.
“Yes, Odelm? What has happened?” Xylo demanded, mental voice concerned.
“Selena fell asleep in the café after lunch, and I have been unable to wake her. I am worried something is wrong. I am carrying her to your suite now. Can you meet us?”
His relief palpable, Xylo replied, “I suspect it is her pregnancy and nothing to worry about. I was unable to rouse her last night either. I will be there shortly. Thank you for letting me know.”
No one questioned him as he made his way through the crowds and up the lift to the topmost floor. Nor did they offer to help.
As he approached Selena’s suite, he was surprised when the doors automatically opened for him.
He had not needed to place her hand on the door scanner to open it.
Walking in, he eyed the room. Odelm had never been on the top floor of the ship, much less in either Royal Suite.
He was not important enough for the privilege.
And yet, here he now was.
Taking in the layout, he selected a navy couch and gently laid Selena down, dropping her tablet on the nearby table. He could not resist brushing her silver hair back from her forehead before turning to search for a blanket.
Nothing.
He did another sweep of the room before deciding there must be one in the master bedroom on the nestbed though he knew he should not enter.
He shrugged. He would risk being scolded by her or Xylo if it meant he found something to keep her warm on the couch.
Odelm took a calming breath as he entered. This bedroom was Selena's clan domain and should not be in here.
He had crossed a line.
He started to step back to look elsewhere for a blanket, but as his eyes roamed the room, he was shocked at the gigantic size of her nestbed.
It was nearly the size of the whole bedroom and had enough bed slots for fourteen nestmates!
That was unheard of... he could not fathom how a nestqueen would want or be able to handle enough nestmates to fill this nestbed.
Then his eyes fell on two silver blankets on the central sunken bed.
He scanned the room again, but no others were in sight. He willed himself to walk up the stairs of her sacred nestbed—knowing violating this space could create a rift between them if she was offended. He was not a part of her clan.
Oh, Fates have mercy on him.
He scooted up the stairs, grabbed one of the silver blankets, and hurriedly left the room. As he reentered the common room, he stopped in his tracks.
Selena was sitting up, leaning over on the couch with one hand on her slightly round stomach, the other on her forehead. She glanced up when she heard her bedroom door close.
He rushed across the room to her and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. “Are you all right?”
“How did I get here?” She rubbed her eyes and blinked.
“You fell asleep while I was performing and would not wake up. I carried you here. Xylo should be here soon.”
She pulled the edges of the blanket tighter around her shoulders and smiled up at him. “I’m sorry. This pregnancy seems to have begun taking its toll. We’ve been wondering when it would happen.”
“Is there anything you need?”
She paused for a long moment, looking at him, then bit her lip.
“You.”
Odelm blinked several times, trying to make sense of her statement. He refused to allow the dangerous leap his thoughts had taken. He must just be thinking that because he had been thinking along those lines while he played...
“Umm... what?”
She stood, allowing the blanket to fall to the floor and cupped his face with both hands. She lifted herself on tiptoe, licked her lips, then leaned into him.
Her lips covered his.
Shock ran through his body at the contact, and his eyes closed at the flood of emotions and sensations. Selena’s lips were soft against his own.
He gasped as the hollow in his mind filled—her emotions flooding into the void. He felt the courting bond form and saw its golden thread link them together.
Caring. Acceptance. Thankfulness.
She leaned into his body and slid her arms around his shoulders. Odelm opened his eyes and raised shaky hands to caress her cheeks as his tentacles instinctively wrapped tightly around her, holding her to him.
He leaned his head away to stare into her unusual eyes.
“Why?”
She searched his face as she stared back at him in wonder.
“It hurts me knowing what you have suffered through no fault of your own. You can’t control how you look any more than I can control how I do.
You’ve been there for me since I arrived though I’ve had no right to expect it.
Odelm, you’re a caring person and deserving a nestqueen.
And I wanted you to be healed, to erase the hollow feeling you’ve described.
Even if we never fall in love with each other, you are my friend, and I wanted to help. ”
She leaned back against his tentacles and slid her arms from his shoulders to place her hands on his chest.
“I’m sorry I did not ask you first. I should never have made such a decision for you.
” Selena looked down from his face to his chest. “I’m often too impulsive.
I didn't think to give you a chance to decide whether or not you wanted another nestqueen. Even if you did, whether you’d want me—a human—to be yours. "
A flood of doubt, fear, and sorrow overwhelmed him. She thought he would be angry or hurt by her actions.
By her gift to him.
Cradling her chin between his thumb and forefinger, he forced her eyes to meet his so she could see his sincerity.
“No doubts, Selena... your kindness astonishes me. Thank you for honoring me with this blessing. I will not fail you nor make you regret your gift to me.”