Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Selena
“You aren’t angry with me? For what I did?” I murmured, feeling my eyes welling up.
“Angry? Absolutely not. I will be honest and say I am surprised. I never expected you even to consider me.”
He slid his hand from my chin, cupping my cheeks with both hands.
Using his thumbs to wipe the tears from my eyes, he looked at me like he could see my soul and whispered in his light tenor voice, “I never considered I would have a second chance, nor did I want to have to deal with another nestqueen, fearing they would only reject me again.
“When you complimented me, I thought you were just like all the other females.
I was pretty to look at but not good enough to have.
When you came to talk to me and offered to be my friend, I was skeptical and thought it was some sort of trick.
But as I got to know you over the last few days, I realized how wrong I was.
I started thinking how wonderful it would be to have you as my nestqueen.
My instincts to protect you kept nagging me.
It frustrated me because you were not mine.
“I convinced myself it was all because I was a severed male, my body punishing me for never giving my bonding spores away. I refused to let myself even consider it might be because of you. Selena, please believe me when I say, you have honored me beyond measure. If you decide to make this bond permanent, my mind will be at peace—even if we remain no more than friends, and I never become one of your Favored.”
I closed my eyes and leaned forward, resting my forehead on his chest again. He wrapped his arms back around me with a sigh.
“Odelm, I want this to work out. If I’m going to accept your bonding spores and make our bond permanent, I need you to accept what Xylo calls the rules of my clan.
Open communication is important to me. We all need to know what is going on—with me, with my pregnancy, with Aldawi and CEG, everything.
And you and Xylo need to respect one another.
I won’t have constant strife or judgment in my family.
“As much as performing music is a part of you and too important to you to give up, so it is with Xylo and his research. Not to mention how critical his studies will be for my health and the wellbeing of my children. I am not going to prevent either of you from heeding your callings, just because I am now your nestqueen. Can you promise me at least this much?”
Odelm’s arms tightened around me. “Even though I may not fully approve of you being alone while pregnant and new to this ship, I understand you have other priorities for your nestmates, and I can respect that.”
I groaned. “And we need to speak to Xylo as soon as possible.”
Silence fell between us as he held me to his chest, and I listened to his heartbeats. I took a deep breath and his salty, musty scent flooded me. It reminded me of the aroma in the densest part of the terrarium forest after they had sprayed the trees in the morning.
Thoughts about our time together—the swimming lesson, his rescue from the three unmated males, even his earlier interruption when I was studying—slid through my mind.
I still couldn’t believe what I’d just done.
Again.
I had to get a handle on my impulsiveness. I certainly didn’t regret it, but I should have asked. And I should have spoken with Xylo first. If I didn’t start thinking before I acted, I would end up court bonding myself to all the unbonded males on the ship.
I snorted.
I’d need to thank the princes the next time I saw them. They had clearly been proactive in protecting me from myself. Their announcements to the crew were probably the only thing that had prevented more awkward situations.
The sound of the suite door opening pulled me from my thoughts. I turned my head as Xylo and Kaede walked in.
Kaede looked at me though I could not see his expression behind the visor and drape.
“Don’t let us interrupt,” Kaede said, sarcasm dripping from every word.
Odelm released me and pulled away.
I looked nervously at Xylo.
A mental caress brushed my shields. Xylo nodded at me and smiled as he turned toward Odelm. He crossed the room, leaving Kaede by the door. Xylo stopped in front of Odelm and held out his hand.
Odelm looked down at Xylo’s hand, then returned his smile, clasping his hand in a firm grip. He wrapped one of his tentacles around their joined hands. Xylo slid one of his vines free, and it wrapped around the knot of hands and tentacle.
“Welcome to the clan, nestbrother,” Xylo congratulated, his smile widening.
Odelm nodded. “Thank you. Though I am not sure it has had time to sink in. I never thought I would have a second chance, nor did I consider Selena would be willing.”
“What is happening?” Kaede asked from the door, his voice laced with confusion.
I turned from my nestmates to Kaede. “I accepted Odelm to my clan. I’m assuming this is some Circuli Clan Welcoming Ritual.”
“So, there isn’t going to be a fight? Xylo is completely fine with this? No dominance testing?”
Xylo and Odelm moved to flank me on either side. Each wrapped one of their appendages loosely around my waist, above my increasingly pregnant stomach. I was surprised by how comforting the gesture was.
“I read from Selena what happened. I knew what we were walking in on. And we had already discussed her adding Odelm to her clan—I just did not realize it might happen so soon. She has already stated she wants this clan to be different. I will not fight Odelm unless she decides she wants her nestmates to establish a pecking order. I am not sure whether she will want that, as some nestqueens do, or if she will prefer to choose on her own.”
Shocked by this news, I looked between them.
“No fighting. Xylo, you know I refuse to have a Prime or Second. No Favored. I want equality in this clan. There won’t be a pecking order.”
“But who will lead your nestmates?” Odelm asked, his voice filled with confusion.
I turned to him. “Do you need someone to micromanage you?”
“What she means is she wants us to coexist with each other in a familial environment. To raise her children as co-fathers, no matter who sires them. For this to work, we must be open-minded and respect each other as well as our cultural differences. We may not always agree with certain things, but arguing and fighting among ourselves is prohibited,” Xylo explained.
“Truly?” Odelm questioned in disbelief.
Meeting his eyes, I tried to read him.
“Yes, truly. I know I’m socially awkward and clueless about the cultural differences between our species.
Even what I know of my own species has been learned from history texts.
So, I need open communication and understanding because I will screw up.
We won’t always agree. I’ve always dreamed of a large family though I had no idea it could look like this.
I want to make this work. And now there will be still more unknowns when we arrive at CEG HQ.
Having no idea what to expect or how to behave?
That frightens me. I don’t want to offend someone in ignorance—nor accidentally bond with anyone else. ..”
I could feel tears forming, covering my face with my hands. A growl of frustration escaped. I hated how my pregnancy hormones were causing my emotions to go from one extreme to another.
Arms wrapped around me from behind, and I felt Xylo press himself against my back.
“It’s okay, Selena. We can continue this discussion later. I believe both Odelm and Kaede understand what you are trying to say,” Xylo whispered into my ear.
Hands grabbed my own, pulling them away from my face. His thumbs traced the backs of my hands in understanding.
“I can feel the confusion and worry rolling off you in waves. There is no need. I completely understand what you are saying. Listen to me when I say the way you want to run your clan feels like water on my skin. The freedom. Your vision for our clan. For a family. You are a gift from the Fates,” Odelm said as he let go of my hands and used his thumbs to wipe my tears away.
“Be easy. Do not leak—no need for your crying...”
I watched as he brought his thumbs to his face.
A long, thin, black tongue slid out of his slit of a mouth.
It had three little grasping ‘fingers’ at the end.
My mouth fell open in awe as I watched his tongue lick at my tears.
At the first taste, his tongue ‘fingers’ grabbed his thumbs like mini hands, greedily attacking the salty water of my tears.
I could feel myself become aroused by his display.
My heart sped as moisture pooled between my thighs.
Between Xylo pressed against me from behind and my new wicked thoughts about how that tongue would feel between my legs, desire to take them both to the bedroom and complete the bond with Odelm filled me.
Odelm seemed oblivious as he focused on licking every salty drop from his thumbs.
I squeezed my thighs together trying to ease my arousal.
I felt Xylo lean forward and place his lips by my ear, their downy fuzz tickling my earlobe.
“I am not against those thoughts, but I believe we should get something in you first.”
His phrasing did nothing to extinguish my arousal.
My hunger could wait.
Letting his hands drop, Odelm smiled at me. “Even though I hate to see you cry, your tears are delicious.”
Xylo pulled his lips away from my ear and leaned his head against mine. “That is not the only delicious thing.”
Shock flooded me at their open discussion about how I tasted—with Kaede still present in the room.
“Now, that’s something I’d like to hear more about,” Kaede called out from the door.
My arousal vanished as my face flamed in embarrassment.