Twenty-Three.
Maci
“Babe, open the door.” Duke bangs on the bathroom door for the tenth time, and my heart breaks into a million pieces.
I’m a replacement…again. My baby girl is a replacement.
It all makes sense now. Why Butch was so concerned in the beginning. I thought he was just being overprotective of his brother, that he was worried since this is the first relationship he’s been in since his wife died, but it wasn’t that at all.
Rachel was pregnant.
Is that why Duke was all over me? Worrying about me, taking care of me? He said I was his…me and my baby.
He rebuilt everything he had—everything he lost.
We’re replacements.
I pull myself off the ground to stand on unsteady feet. A choked sob escapes me at the jostle of the door handle and Duke’s begging from the other side.
My stomach knots. My heart hits the floor. Every word he’s ever said to me is a kick to my chest. How could I be so blind?
Gathering myself, I wash my hands and fix my makeup. With tears still streaming down my flushed cheeks, I unlock the door to the face that’s brought me nothing but comfort for months. So many emotions swirl in his dark eyes…I don’t know what to do with them.
“Maci, I—”
I put a hand up to stop him. “Not here,” I say quietly.
His jaw tightens, but he nods. I wait in the hall while he retrieves something from the kitchen, but when Lily’s worried gaze locks with mine, I have to turn away from breaking down any further.
He comes back to my side with a pie and bag of cookies, and when he reaches for my hand…I let him take it. Because as bad as I want to push him away, this is Cassidy’s baby shower. And the last thing she needs is me making a scene when the day’s gone so beautifully for her.
We walk to the table to grab my sweater and purse. Hoping to leave without having to say anything to anyone, I fight to control my emotions when the hope is short-lived.
Butch lifts his chin. “You guys heading out?”
“Yeah,” Duke grunts.
“Oh, Maci, are you okay?” Cassidy asks gently, noticing my puffy eyes, I’m sure.
I wave her off, forcing a smile. “I’m fine. Just got a little sick is all.”
His brother’s brow furrows as he shares a look with Duke.
“Well, I hope it wasn’t anything you ate,” Cassidy says with concern.
I keep a pained smile as I tug on my sweater. “No. I think it’s just a little late afternoon sickness. They say it can come back toward the end.” I clear my throat and glance at Duke. “Ready?”
His jaw ticks with whatever he’s dying to say to make this all go away, but there’s nothing he can say to make this one better.
We say our goodbyes, and Duke helps me into the car. We drive the three minutes to the cabin in silence. When he parks my car beside his truck, he kills the engine with a sigh. “Maci.”
My bottom lip quivers as I scramble to gather my things and get out. “Please, don’t.” He jumps out after me as I make my hurried way to the cabin, wanting nothing more than to put some space between us.
“I don’t know what you heard, angel, but you have to know everything out of my grandmother’s mouth is said with malicious intent.”
I put my hand out. “Give me my k-keys, Duke.”
He doesn’t acknowledge my request and simply opens the front door. When he holds it open, I enter—only to stop in the door frame and block him from following me.
“Maci—”
“I think you should stay at the house tonight,” I say with as much strength as I can muster.
His brow furrows as he reaches for me, but I take a step back, gripping the door as if it’s the only thing keeping me upright. “I’m not going anywhere, angel,” he growls. “You’re upset. I’m not leaving you.”
“Is it true?” I ask weakly. I need to know. It might not seem like a big deal, but I swore to myself I’d never let anyone make me feel this way again—inferior, not good enough, second best… Not after Evan. “Was she pregnant when she died?”
He grits his teeth. “Maci, that’s not—”
“Is it true?” I cry, clutching my belly to protect my daughter from this heartbreak.
His dark eyes pain as he snatches me by my waist before I have time to protest. I try to push him off, my entire body wracking with sobs. “Let me go…”
“Listen to me, please,” he says, holding me close. “Yes, she was only six weeks at the time—we never even made it to the first appointment. It was five years ago, Maci, you have to know it has nothing to do with us now. You could never be a replacement, beautiful. Olivia isn’t a replacement.”
I shake my head, crying at his use of my unborn daughter’s name.
“I love you, Maci,” he says for the first time. “I love both of you.”
I fall into him, burying my face in his chest. He holds me uncomfortably tight, his face in the crook of my neck, leaving a trail of light kisses. “I love you so much…”
For months I’ve wanted to hear those words—the same way I feel for him—from him. And now…they feel tainted. My heart aches.
I gently push him away, and he pulls back, his eyes glossy with unshed tears—the sight only makes this harder. “You should go,” I force myself to say.
“No,” he snaps. “Angel, don’t.”
“I-I need some time,” I say, and it’s true. I need to process this—all of it. “Please.”
He reaches for me, but I step back. “Maci, don’t do this, please. Whatever you want to know, I’ll tell you—everything, I swear. I love you.”
My entire world shatters, and I feel like I’m spinning out of control. Breathe, Maci. I suck in a deep breath, and take three steps back, leaving Duke with empty arms as I close the door and lock it.
I love you, too.
“As many hours as you can give me for the next few weeks would be great, Peggy,” I say, cashing out a customer at Cup O’ Joe. Once the customer leaves, I glance over my shoulder, and her expression tells me I’m not getting those hours.
“You’re nearly thirty-eight weeks pregnant, dear. I don’t think being on your feet all day is a good idea,” Peggy scolds.
Under normal circumstances, I’d agree with her. But it’s been four days, six hours, and seventeen minutes since I told Duke I needed a break—time to clear my headspace, to figure out what I want to do. To see if I can move past this sinking feeling in my heart.
It’s not him, it’s…me.
He didn’t leave that night. Opting to bring my dessert inside with a note telling me he’s here if I need anything, he slept in his truck right outside my front door—the same way he has for the last four nights.
He’s been calling and texting every day, wanting to know how I’m feeling, if I’m okay, and how my appointment went. He shows up at the coffee shop when I’m working and lingers, but doesn’t push to talk. He’s always…there. For me, I suppose.
Every night, the low rumble of his truck is outside the cabin, and I feel like a monster.
If it was anyone else, I would’ve called the police for stalking, but it’s Duke—caring, sweet, a little crazy, overprotective, obsessive him.
Who doesn’t seem to understand the definition of giving someone space.
“I could use the money,” I say quietly.
The bell over the front door chimes, and Cassidy storms in with Butch trailing behind her. “Maci,” she barks, and I tip my head to the side in confusion at her aggressive tone.
“You’re not on the schedule today, are you, Cassidy?” Peggy asks, also confused.
“No, I’m not, Peg,” she says, her heated glare locked on me. “I have a bone to pick with a certain pregnant chick.”
“Sunshine.” Butch sighs heavily. “You can’t—”
“Shut it,” she snaps at him, and Butch regards me with an expression I can only read as telling me to ‘brace for impact.’
Oh, boy.
“What the hell is your problem, huh?” she shouts at me, and I cringe. “You don’t reply to his texts, you don’t answer his calls. Duke is absolutely broken. And don’t even try to tell me for a second you’re not either. I know you’ve been hiding in the backroom on your breaks crying. Why are you dragging this out? You’re only hurting yourself and your daughter.”
“Cassidy, it’s not that simple,” I try to say, but it’s clear—she’s not having any of it.
“Duke is your support. He’s been there for every appointment, every birthing class. And now you’re going to go and have this baby without him?”
Her words are like a punch to the gut, and my stomach twists painfully.
Butch extends an arm in front of her chest as she takes a step toward the counter.
“You think I want to do this without him, Cass?” I say. “I don’t want to do this with anyone but him. I love him with all my heart. But he lied to me. He should’ve told me Rachel was pregnant when she died. Do you have any idea how our relationship looks now? Me, the baby, living together since day one. All of it.”
Cassidy shakes her head. “I do know. And you have every right to be upset with him, but you have to understand.” Her voice lowers. “No one knew she was pregnant until after she was gone. Duke only ever told Butch and his parents.”
“All right. I think that’s enough pregnant smackdown for one day,” Butch grumbles, gently ushering her back while eyeing the few shocked customers watching on.
It’s a miracle someone doesn’t have their phone out recording.
Cassidy swats his hand away. “I’m not done,” she declares. “What are you so afraid of? Duke was ready to give you the world, Maci. The whole world. And you do this to him?”
I start to cry, because…she’s right. And I know it, too.
“Grandma Judy is a horrid old hag. She can’t stand to see anyone happy, so she preys on sensitive topics and situations to get her rocks off,” she announces. “Judy only found out because she eavesdropped on a private conversation between Duke and his mother. He was going to tell you. You know he would never lie to you; he loves you so much, Maci. The man is devastated.”
“I love him, too,” I sniffle, taking the napkin Butch hands me.
Cassidy waddles around the counter, engulfing me in a hug. I hug her back as best we can with our large bellies pressed against each other. “He needs you, Maci. Probably more than you’ll ever know. And you have to know you’re not some twisted replacement family he chose five years later.”
I pain a laugh. “I know, it’s just—”
“No,” she says, stopping me when she swipes the tears from my cheeks. “You and Duke belong together. You know it, I know it, Butch knows it.” Her fiancé grunts from behind her. “Everyone in this Podunk town knows it. And as horrible as this might sound… I think if Rachel were here, she would know it, too.”
I nod vigorously, blowing out a shaky breath as I peer out the front bay windows of the coffee shop, but Duke’s truck isn’t there. “Where is he?” I ask, looking to Butch.
He pulls out his phone. “Wherever the hell he is, I’m sure we can get him here.”
“I told you she just needed a swift kick in the ass, honey.” Cassidy smiles at Butch who just shakes his head and smirks.
An intense pain grips me.
I hiss, clutching my belly with one hand and holding the counter with the other. My back tenses as a dampness forms between my legs.
Oh, my— Did I just…pee myself?
Cassidy rests a gentle hand on my back. “Maci? What’s— Oh my god, your water broke!”
I wince as another real contraction hits me. “No.” I stare at the wet crotch of my leggings. “She can’t. It’s too soon. I’m not ready,” I say, but a wave of pain hits me, and my knees buckle.
“Butch,” Cassidy yelps, and he’s racing around the counter.
“Everyone out,” Peggy shouts. “We’re closed. Out, out—Go.” She rushes to usher people out the door with their coffees in hand.
I clutch my belly while Butch holds me upright. “Breathe, Maci,” he tells me. Cassidy takes his phone and keys, scurrying ahead of us to hold the door.
“I need Duke,” I cry.
“I’m trying,” Cassidy says, her phone pressed to her ear. “Shit. He’s not answering…”
I can’t do this without him.