Chapter 21
Both pairs of brothers are in touch on Sunday with more invitations, but much as I’m missing all of them, I decline.
Surely, more time away from them will help me see things more clearly, right? Right?
Nope.
The only thing the time apart does is make me want all of them even more.
I miss Nick’s easy smile and warm hugs. I crave the way Jasper’s kisses make me light-headed with lust. I miss Felix’s devilish dark eyes and sharp wit, and I ache for Rudy’s firm but tender touch.
I long for the way each of them makes me feel cherished and cared for, like I’m the only woman in the world.
I thought dating them all would help me decide who I want, but the truth is, I’ve fallen for all of them.
Mid-morning on Monday, the Winter brothers drop in at the library again, and just the sight of them makes my heart flutter.
Jasper hands me a cup from the coffee shop, like they brought last time. “How was your weekend?”
“Thank you. It was fine. How about you?”
“We missed you,” Felix says, “but we got a lot of reading done.” He holds up two of the books they borrowed the week before.
“I missed you, too.”
He cocks his head, confused.
“I just needed time to think. I’m feeling pressured to decide between you and the Frost brothers.”
“We’re not going to put any pressure on you.” Jasper’s gruff voice is as tender as I’ve ever heard it.
“The way you and the Frost brothers argue feels like pressure.”
They both apologize for making me feel that way. “We’ll do better,” Jasper says.
“Don’t stress about it.” Felix rubs my shoulder and gives me a grin that makes me tingle all over.
Easier said than done, though when I’m with them, I’m feeling fine. Even better when they both steal a quick kiss.
“We’ll let you get back to work,” Jasper says. “We just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.”
When I’m leaving work, I find text messages from Nick and Rudy waiting on my phone.
“We saved a slice of lasagna for you,” Rudy says. “Want us to bring it by?”
“It’s even better reheated than fresh,” Nick adds.
“I’d love that, if it’s not too much trouble,” I reply.
Thirty minutes after I get home, Nick and Rudy deliver both the lasagna and several long, lingering kisses.
I have a similar discussion with them about why I stayed in over the weekend, and how I’m trying to decide who I want to be with. I stop short of admitting how very hard making a decision seems to be.
“We shouldn’t have argued with them,” Rudy says.
“I understand. I just hate to see you not getting along.”
They nod, taking this in, then treat me to more kisses that show me how much they missed me the past two nights.
All four of the men stay in touch throughout the week. The Winters take me on a short ride around the island on their motorcycles one night, and the Frosts come by another evening to give me a yard ornament. It’s a tall wooden cutout of the Grinch.
On Friday night, Nick and Rudy take me to a holiday light parade in Whitman. It’s cold—almost near freezing—but I’m comfortable as we watch the dazzling floats go by, because both men hold me close—Nick with his arm around my shoulders and Rudy’s around my waist.
When the last float passes us, with Santa waving to everyone and wishing us all a Merry Christmas, I say, “I can’t believe there are only five days until Christmas.” A month I thought would be long and boring has flown by, thanks to four special men.
“Do you know how you’ll be spending the holiday?” Nick asks, and I bite my lip.
That’s another thing that’s been making me feel under pressure. “No, I’m not sure.”
“We’d love for you to spend the day with us,” Rudy says. “But we’ll also understand if you don’t.”
Even though the men stay close as we walk back to their car, the wind is like ice.
Nick rubs my arm and pulls me closer. “You’re shivering.”
Inside the car, Rudy starts the engine, and as soon as the air starts coming out warm, he blasts it. “Want to come over to our house to thaw out in front of the fire?”
“Trixie and Sammy would love to see you,” Nick adds.
“I can’t say no to that.”
Sure enough, tails are wagging when we get to the Frosts’ house. While I give the pups plenty of love, Rudy gets the fire going.
While the fire is lovely, it also turns out to be mostly unnecessary, because when the three of us settle onto a big blanket in front of it, two pairs of hands and two mouths heat me up in ways no fireplace could.
The dogs settle onto a bed nearby, and I even catch a glimpse of the men’s elusive cat as the three of us cuddle, but soon, everything beyond the little world we share on the blanket is forgotten.
Rudy pauses between kisses, cradling my head in his hand. “Are you warm now?”
I nod. “So warm. Hot, even.” I close the gap between us to get another long taste of him.
Meanwhile, Nick explores my body with his mouth and hands. “If you’re too hot, maybe we should take some of your clothes off.”
I break away from Rudy’s mouth long enough to respond to his brother. “I like how you’re thinking.”
Together, the two of them pull my sweater over my head, but when Nick starts on the buttons of my blouse, Rudy puts out a hand to stop him, then looks into my eyes.
“Just because we’ve been taking things slow, I hope you haven’t gotten the idea that we don’t want you.”
I make a small move to shake my head, remembering the earlier conversation we had about why they choose to wait.
“It hasn’t been easy,” Rudy says.
“We want you very much,” Nick says.
My breath catches, before I manage to say, “I want you both, too.”