Chapter Nine #2
‘Like you did with me?’ she said, pulling her feet away a moment and curling them under her, needing to think straight and finding that almost impossible.
Between his sensual touch and the two glasses of champagne she’d enjoyed, her brain was fuzzy around the edges.
Only she knew he’d just admitted something important, something that made her feel as though she was standing on a house of cards.
He sat very still, his expression unreadable, yet there was something in his eyes that told her she was right. That he hadn’t expected her to put two and two together and get four.
‘Is that what we’re doing, Javier? Is this about revenge, too?’
It hurt. It really hurt. In a way that was a powerful and necessary reminder of why she’d spent a lifetime keeping people at bay. It hurt because she’d let him in, more than she’d let anyone in since her parents’ and brother’s deaths. She suddenly felt as though it had been a huge mistake.
‘You knew from that very first night that I was thinking of marrying him. Is that why you seduced me?’
A muscle jerked in his jaw. He didn’t give her the denial she needed. The denial that would set everything to rights.
‘This isn’t about them,’ he said.
She closed her eyes, the insufficiency of that statement blatantly obvious. He’d used her.
‘You promised me this was our secret. But you were planning to throw this in their faces, too?’
Emotions were running rampant through her and her legendary and unfailing control was nowhere to be seen. She jumped off the sofa, her body feeling too electrified to stay still a moment longer.
‘Listen to me.’ He followed after her, his body so much larger, his voice rough with feeling.
‘At first, yes. I wanted to take you from him. Something of even greater value than the company. If Otto had married you, my stepmother and he would have felt they had triumphed in a way that meant more, even, than the company. My victory over them, that I had worked so hard for, would have been meaningless.’
She could only press her fingertips to her mouth as his words twisted through her brain.
‘But I also wanted to save you from them. To protect you from what I know they’re capable of.
’ His brow furrowed more deeply. ‘Then I danced with you. I can honestly say that from that moment on, everything we have done and everything we have said, has been about you and me. I have hated that, querida, if I’m honest.’ His voice lowered, his tone earnest and raw.
‘I have hated how easily and completely you’ve gotten under my skin and yet you are there, inside of me, whether I want that or not.
You have done what no other woman has ever come close to, and taken over my mind completely.
That is not because of Otto. It is not because of Carlotta.
It is not because of hatred and anger or because of resentment.
It is passion, pure and simple, and it is us.
’ Then he kissed her, as if his words hadn’t been enough.
As if he hadn’t already changed her mind and made her see that he was right.
This could never have been about Otto. It was far too real for that, far too terrifyingly, overwhelmingly, real and raw.
* * *
It was another first for Javier—watching a woman sleep.
Staring, in fact, as she breathed in and out.
Her eyes moving rapidly behind her lids, her lashes fanning across her flawless skin, her lips gently parted.
Behind her the fire flickered, the flames consuming oxygen greedily, casting the queen in a gently golden glow.
He wanted to leave her like this. Naked on the thick rug before the fireplace, her body beneath the soft blanket, her hair loose around her face.
No, in fact he wanted to reach down and lift her against his chest, carry her to his room, place her down on the bed and slip in beside her, letting them sleep together for the whole night.
So they could wake up on the morning of Christmas Eve together.
Not because it meant anything to him, but because it clearly did to her and the thought of her being alone in the palace, surrounded by dutiful servants, filled him with a sense of icy desolation, rather than the warmth she obviously craved. That she deserved.
A muscle tightened in his chest, when he thought of the future she was stepping towards.
Marriage. Children. It was expected of her.
It was necessary. He could only hope she met someone who cared for her as she should be cared for.
Who finally righted the wrongs of her past, just as he was intent on doing in his own life.
Fixing what had been broken by Carlotta and Otto.
Selfishly, he wanted to keep her here now.
In a way, they were already living on borrowed time.
This whole thing was a mirage, made impossible by circumstances, who they were, what they wanted in life.
But tonight, she was here, in this house, so beautiful and trusting, so completely his, that the thought of waking her was anathema to him.
But she trusted him and that was worth something.
She trusted him to look out for her, to do the right thing, and that meant sending her back to the palace where she could be what the country required.
It meant sending her back now, in the small hours of the morning, when the chance of discovery was almost non-existent, rather than risking her spending the night and then rushing back to prepare for whatever formal engagement she had.
So he reached down and gently ran his fingers over her hair, her cheek, down to her shoulder, which he shook a little more firmly, until her eyes blinked open and focused on him groggily.
Her smile was almost his undoing. He wanted to lean down, kiss her, tell her to go back to sleep.
But too much was at stake. If they wanted to keep this off the public’s radar, they had to play by the rules.
For his part, having this thing go public wouldn’t be the worst thing.
It would destroy his stepmother, he thought with a flash of irritation.
Otto. Juanita. There could have been a lot of collateral damage and just the kind he relished the thought of.
But Astrid would also be a part of that. For her, he needed to do this right.
‘You have to leave soon, Your Majesty.’ He heard the regret in his voice and wondered if she’d clocked it.
She sat up quickly, eyes widening. ‘What time is it?’
‘Almost midnight.’