Chapter Twelve #3
Then, remarkably, he saw a change in Dido. A light in her eyes that was neither humour nor triumph. If he saw it across a conference table in a negotiator he’d call it relief. But his days of imagining he understood Dido’s thoughts were over.
Her mouth began to curl in a smile then stopped as her forehead wrinkled. ‘But you were engaged! You didn’t…?’
‘We didn’t. We hadn’t long been engaged. Our arrangement was…practical, not romantic. The truth is I’d had second thoughts about marrying her. I wasn’t sure she was the right choice.’
Because you were still hung up on Dido Jones. Even when you believed she’d conned you.
Settling on Chiara from the matchmaker’s list, he’d felt none of the fervour or anticipation he’d experienced when Dido had agreed to marry him.
‘You were going to break off with her? Or you’d overcome your doubts?’
He shook his head. ‘I wasn’t sure, but by the time I arrived in Tahiti I’d decided my doubts weren’t important. Until I saw you on the beach.’
Dido’s eyes rounded. She wrapped her arms around herself and slumped back against the wall. ‘You saw me? Why didn’t you say anything?’
‘I wasn’t sure. By the time I swam ashore you’d gone and I decided I’d mistaken a stranger for you in the darkness. You were on my mind and I couldn’t be with anyone else when I still wanted you. Though I didn’t want to want you.’
Her too-brief chuckle pooled sunshine in his belly and drew his flesh tight. He’d missed that sound.
‘I know the feeling.’ Her voice was rueful, or was that resigned?
Panos stared. They’d made love mere hours before but to hear her admit that still had the power to delight him.
Despite all they’d gone through, all the damage he’d done, it seemed there was something he hadn’t destroyed.
She blinked, her mouth stretching too tight as if it were about to wobble. Which was impossible. Dido didn’t do tears.
As if you’d know! You weren’t around when the going got tough.
He reached for her as she whispered, ‘What are we going to do? This is all such a mess.’
Panos threaded his fingers through hers. ‘We’re going to get some rest.’ He drew her the few steps to the bedroom, pausing when she hesitated on the threshold as if about to protest. But then she followed his lead.
Minutes later she was lying on pale sheets, looking far too delectable with her lacy red nightdress and her silky curls that had always drawn his questing fingers.
Silently she watched as he bent and tenderly tucked the sheet around her.
In all his life he’d never done that for anyone but their daughter.
A stab of poignant emotion pierced him as he walked to the other side and got in. He moved across until he was spooned against her, wrapping his arm around her waist.
Her hair tickled his face as he bent his head and inhaled the fragrance of sweet woman that was hers alone.
Her body was stiff and he couldn’t blame her.
Things were nothing like settled between them.
He was surprised she hadn’t pushed him away and laughed in his face when he’d admitted he’d wanted no one since her.
But she hadn’t.
The bond was still there. They both felt it, had both tried to fight it and both surrendered.
‘Sleep, Dido. It’s been a long night and we’ll need energy for when our little sunbeam wakes.’
‘Sunbeam? I like that.’ She yawned and wriggled a little as she settled against him. Panos gritted his teeth against a predictable surge of want.
But sex wasn’t what they needed now. No matter how glorious it would be.
Besides, there was something wonderful about spending the last hours of the night snuggled against Dido Jones.
Or was she Dido Diamandis?
Did his legal team’s delay in reporting back mean there was doubt about the earlier advice he’d received?
Maybe Dido was right and they were married after all.
His pulse jolted into a quickened tempo as he processed the thought. It surely wasn’t likely and yet, if they were married…
His brain teemed with possibilities.
All the reasons they’d gone through a marriage ceremony remained.
They both wanted children, to raise them in a nurturing environment.
Having Athena only cemented his long-held desire for family.
Then there was his desire for Dido. That had never died, but now, knowing she hadn’t betrayed him, that he’d been the one at fault, there was no reason to resist the attraction.
His sins in dismissing Dido without a hearing meant he felt obligated to make it up to her. What better way to make amends than by honouring their marriage vows? Sharing the job of raising their baby? In the process he’d give Dido the financial security she lacked.
Perhaps, given her strong maternal bond, she’d agree to having more children too.
You’re getting ahead of yourself. Maybe she’ll never forgive you for how you treated her.
Maybe tomorrow she’ll want to leave, and take Athena.
Pain jabbed his ribs, slicing down into his belly. That wasn’t an option.
He had to make sure Dido wanted to stay. Convince her she could trust him. That together they could be the family Athena deserved.