Chapter Thirteen
DIDO SLEPT LATE the next morning. The sun was high and the other side of the bed was empty.
Instantly she sat up. She hadn’t slept in since Theeny was born. Why hadn’t she heard her?
Then she registered a familiar childish chuckle and the sound of water splashing, followed by Panos’ deep drawl. Turning her head, she saw the door to the balcony ajar, filmy curtains stirring in the breeze.
Relieved, Dido sank back into the luxurious down pillow. All was well. Panos had her safe.
She took a moment to process that. A week ago she’d have been horrified at the idea of Panos with her baby. Now she trusted him to keep their little darling safe.
Their little darling. No longer hers alone. It was scary, sharing, but things couldn’t go back to how they’d been. Panos was entitled to know his daughter.
Would he still sue for sole custody?
Surely not! The man who’d been undone by last night’s truths wouldn’t do that. Far from being an unfeeling brute, Panos Diamandis felt more deeply than she’d believed possible.
What did he feel now?
More to the point, what did she feel about him?
You slept with him again. Enjoyed sleeping with him.
And didn’t that complicate things?
She couldn’t say she’d forgiven him, but the man who’d been so racked by emotion confounded her long-held resentment. Instead of blustering, he’d accepted he’d done wrong. His remorse was genuine. Shockingly so, undercutting her anger.
He’d been gutted. As if she’d held up a mirror and he’d seen himself for the first time, not liking what he saw.
Could such a man change? That was the question.
Dido pushed back the sheet and swung her legs out of bed. It was time to find out.
* * *
Hours later she and Panos sat on the vine-shaded terrace, sipping coffee and eating delicious, syrup-soaked baklava. Beside them, Theeny sprawled with her teddy on a cushion-strewn day bed, smiling in her sleep.
The three of them had spent the last hour or so in the orchard.
Theeny had been fascinated by the insects and wildflowers, rapt as Panos named a surprisingly large number of them.
Eventually she’d settled under a tree to play, handing Dido a multicoloured stone that had caught her eye and presenting Panos with a red poppy.
Dido had watched his expression as he’d accepted the crushed flower and seen something in his eyes that made her heart still. Love. He loved their daughter.
It was what she’d always wanted. For her baby to have two loving parents. But where did they go from here? To court?
‘We need to talk about the future.’
He might have read her mind. But when she turned to see him watching her with serious eyes, she felt trepidation mixed with acceptance. Even with the best will in the world there was no simple way forward.
‘We do.’
Panos paused and her heart beat faster. ‘Athena has two parents who care for her.’
Cautiously, Dido nodded. Where was he going with this?
‘It’s what we wanted all those years ago, isn’t it? A child, or children, raised by two devoted parents.’
Shockingly, it was. ‘Except for one huge difference. Then we planned to raise a family together.’
Dido stopped as a tremor of emotion worked its way from her chest to her larynx. She held his gaze, remembering his threat to take her child.
‘I’m sorry, Dido. I should never have said I’d keep you away from her. I was furious, but that was no excuse for cruelty.’ His gaze shifted to their daughter and once more she saw his expression soften. ‘I have a lot to make up for.’
She was torn between shock at how he’d read her thoughts again and some emotion she didn’t want to consider as she read his tenderness for their little girl.
‘No, you shouldn’t have.’ She wasn’t sure she could ever forget that.
He nodded. ‘We both want to be with her. We should both have a place in her life.’
Dido folded her arms. ‘That’s easier said than done.’
‘Is it? Surely there’s one simple solution. Marriage. Raising her together.’
Shock rocked her back in her seat as she goggled at him. Finally she choked out, ‘Marriage? After what we’ve been through?’
‘Exactly because of what we’ve been through. We want the same thing. Family. A stable home for Athena.’ He leaned forward. ‘But this time I know you, trust you. You know the worst of me and you have my word I’ll do whatever it takes never to be that man again. I’ll stand by you and support you.’
It was on the tip of her tongue to say she didn’t need his support. And she didn’t, but how many times had she wished she weren’t solo parenting?
‘Wouldn’t it be better to raise her together than shunting her between two homes?’
Dido tried to imagine waving her daughter goodbye for weeks, maybe months at a time, and couldn’t bear it.
‘But…marriage!’
He didn’t move closer but suddenly heat drenched her, meeting his eyes. ‘There’s chemistry between us, Dido, powerful chemistry. That’s never been an issue. It would be a plus if we married.’
An image filled her mind, of the pair of them making love on that remote Pacific island. Their bodies slick in the sultry afternoon heat as he took her to peak after peak before they finally hurtled to completion in each other’s arms. They’d shared such radiant pleasure.
But a large part of that pleasure had been in sharing herself with the man she believed herself fated to be with. The man who’d cherish, respect and support her through their lives together.
Yet you had sex with him here when he was your enemy. You still enjoyed every second.
Whatever her feelings for Panos, and right now she didn’t want to examine them, she couldn’t deny he was right about their combustible passion.
‘Marriage is about more than sex and raising a child.’
Or maybe raising more than one. With an active sex life… A shiver of unwanted excitement stirred deep inside but she quashed it.
‘It is. And I give my word to treat you with respect. We’d share decisions affecting Athena. You’d have money and the freedom to pursue your career if you want. I can—’
‘I don’t want your money.’
He nodded, his expression somewhere between rueful and pained. ‘I know. Yet as my wife you’d be entitled.’ He paused. ‘Think about it, Dido. I won’t pressure you. I promise not to do that again. But we need to find a way forward.’
Reluctantly she nodded. ‘I’ll think about it.’
At least he’s not pretending to feel more for you than he does. He’s not wooing with romantic words and gestures.
Dido pulled in a deep breath and turned to look at her daughter, reminding herself that Athena… Theeny was what really mattered.
* * *
Over the next few days their relationship subtly altered.
She told herself she’d reserve judgement about Panos and his shocking proposition, yet something fundamental had already shifted in her. For so long she’d been tense, constantly wary around him. Now that eased.
Because he’d changed, or perhaps he’d simply torn down the barriers that had kept her at a distance. Yet he was careful not to push her. They spoke about Athena every day but not custody. Having suggested marriage, he didn’t mention it again, leaving her to consider her options.
Given his past actions, that alone would have impressed her. But there was more. Every day Panos opened up more about his life. She gained the sense of a man who wasn’t intrinsically bad.
Above all she believed in his love for Athena.
Maybe that explained her willingness to wait and see where this led. Carrying anger so long had worn her down. She didn’t want that anymore. She couldn’t be that bitter, strung-too-tight person now.
Was a joint future possible between them? Sensible?
Dido grimaced, realising she was seriously considering it. Why else would she have agreed to this trip? She turned to watch the clouds through the plane window.
You know why. Because you want the future he described. You want the family. You want him.
That punched the air from her lungs. Were these feelings self-destructive? The first time she’d agreed to marry because she’d fallen in love. And now? She shied from labelling her feelings as anything more than want.
But when Panos had talked about letting her see more of his life and what was important to him, she’d barely hesitated before saying yes.
So here she was, accompanying him to a gala function for his favourite charity. He’d assured her he’d protect her from the press and keep any hint of their marital status secret. Importantly, she trusted his word.
He was going out of his way to ensure she had freedom of choice about where their relationship headed.
Meanwhile she knew exactly what she wanted. This man who was attentive to her and her daughter. Who was engaging and supportive like the stranger she’d fallen in love with years ago. The indulgent yet no-nonsense father. The considerate partner.
So considerate he’d slept with her for the last several nights, cocooning her close, not pushing for sex. Even when she’d felt the solid heat of his erection pressed against her, he hadn’t asked for more, just held her in his arms.
That felt like a deeper, more significant intimacy than the knock-your-socks-off sex they’d shared.
Which didn’t stop her craving sex with him. But instead of voicing that hunger, she’d held back too, determined to think things through before moving their relationship forward. Though as the days passed it became more difficult to contain her longing.
In so many ways they’d done things back to front. That explosive rush of physical passion, and the first flush of an emotional bond, had blinded her to the fact they didn’t truly know each other.
Now she felt she was coming to understand what made him tick. How he thought and what had made him the intriguing combination of brutally decisive power broker and someone increasingly self-aware, trying to rectify past wrongs.
The more she discovered, the more she saw his efforts to be the man she’d once believed him, and the harder it became to keep her distance.
Was it any wonder she’d agreed to his invitation of an overnight trip to Vienna? She was intrigued and, truth be told, didn’t want to be left behind.