Chapter 14
Lily
T he picture he painted for me was so full of color. Hope breathed new life into me. I wanted what he was offering me, telling me I could have. I was even starting to believe I deserved it. I wanted to believe that committing to them for the rest of my life wasn't as rash a decision as my mother implied. Her claims were ridiculous anyway; I knew that.
I mean, Eric was a mess moments ago when he thought he had run over a deer. It was asinine to think that he would be capable of harming anyone, and if he told me I could trust Ryan, I believed him. Besides, it wouldn't just be me and Ryan. Should he become like my father, I'd have three men to protect me, and he'd have those same three men to walk him through his darkness.
Before my mother's words, I saw our future ahead of us, all four of us at the altar, promising ourselves to each other, years from then, old and gray, still jetting off on vacations because we didn't have children. Oh, man. I'd love a vacation. That was so selfish of me. Look at all I had, and I had the audacity to worry. Worry about what? I had it all. I believed in Ryan's goodness. Eric's warm biceps wrapped around me now gave merit to his promise that he was here. He wouldn't abandon me. And at the core of the matter, that's what it was all about, wasn't it?
Abandonment.
I'd been through therapy; I knew that's where a lot of my issues lay. It was triggered deeply today as my mother shattered the fantasy I'd created around her while she was helpless and safe. I didn't want to get it all wrong, and I'd rather run as fast and as far as I could, instead of fucking up again and hoping, only to lose the people I loved. My heart bloomed with the same kind of hope Eric filled me with when he returned to my life, and I grabbed hold of that feeling, my body buzzing, my nipples hardening as I remembered the rush that came with his promises, his validation of my worth.
I deserved the wedding of my dreams, to marry the men I loved, and to hell with what the therapist said about walking away. Before, I had no one to watch my back as I made ridiculous decisions. Now, I wasn't on my own. And Ryan shouldn't be either.
Needing to preserve that same sense of rebirth and hope that Eric walked back into my life and reminded me of, before the kidnapping and Terry's death, and mom waking up from catatonia and abandoning me all over again, I pressed my lips to his. Keeping hold of the promise he was selling me, I molded my body against him and wrapped my legs around his waist.
"Yes." I nodded.
He groaned, grabbing my ass and pressing me into his rising cock. Did I mention that I was sitting on a stool in my bikini and a robe because I'd gone for a swim after leaving Ethan and Ryan in bed? I could feel every bit of him crushing against my core, and it was still not enough.
"Yes, what?" He brought his lips to my cheek and neck while rubbing my middle against his bulge.
"Yes. I'll marry you all. I want it all," I panted.
"I can give you that." He lowered me to the ground, untied my plush robe, and used it as my blanket.
The strings of my bikini came undone. He released his cock and covered me, feeding me his optimism in long, hard strokes. I gripped his back muscles, shut my eyes, and enjoyed the ride. His body crushed me, his wood and musk impaled me. I was dizzied by him, breathing him deeper into my lungs, taking in as much of him as I could manage. My hips came up to meet his thrust, and my pussy hugged him tighter than ever as I came.
My men. Ever so generous. He kept on giving, until the color I'd been missing floated before my eyes, until my nipples begged to be released from their own torture and I rubbed them against his chest in agony. He groaned my name, hardening to steel inside me and dragged on my soaking wet vaginal walls until I was convulsing beneath him.
He hissed and pulled out of me, and I followed him as he rolled onto his back and brought me with him. Eric watched me ride him for a moment, his gaze stuck on my aching breasts. Licking his lips, he pulled me down, hugging one arm around my back and gripping my breast with the other. He squeezed and forced it to his lips where he put me out of my misery. His pelvis lifted up to pound me, and our wet sex slapped against the air; the sound drove me crazy as I climbed another orgasm.
Still, he wasn't done with me yet. Cool air against the sweat settled in my spine created shockwaves through me. I cried, my body spent and unsure if it could face another jolt of pleasure.