27
Maeve
I spent the past couple of hours engrossing myself in creating the baby shower of Gianna’s dreams. She hated crowds, so it was just us and a few of Elio’s friends. We decorated it in shades of pink and had a little station where everyone could make their own bouquet since Gianna was also super into gardening.
The girls ran around us while we feasted on a taco catering truck (her pregnancy craving), ate cake, and played your typical shower games. At the end of the shower, Elio, Julian, Alex, and James joined us.
“You definitely have the best view.” I leaned back in the chair and looked out at the ocean.
“Oh right, that reminds me.” Chelsea trailed off as we all stared at her and Alex, who were cuddled up on a lounger.
“We have a surprise,” Alex added.
“Well, go on and spit it out,” I added.
“You know that house across the street from all of y’all that was for sale?”
“Yeah…?” Tatum responded.
“We’re your new neighbors,” Chelsea exclaimed, and we all cheered.
“Obviously, I’ll still be working in Sacramento, but we plan on spending most weekends here,” Alex responded.
Through a wild chorus of cheers, the girls ran over to ask if they could swim in Uncle Elio and Auntie Gianna’s pool.
“Of course. Let me run to the house and get your swimsuits.”
Tatum shot me a look.
“What?” I responded, looking at her. It was very clear she was up to no good.
“The girls already asked if they could swim, so I told them I would text Christian to bring them by…” I stared at her. “I then felt bad for him since he said he was just at the house and invited him to hang out.”
“Christian,” the girls squealed just as I was about to lash out at Tatum for overstepping, which was pretty typical, though. She did the same thing with Alex and Chelsea, too.
I turned around and stood from the chair I was on while Christian handed the girls their suits, and they went off and changed. He looked right at me as he said hello to Elio, Alex, and Julian.
Then he walked slowly toward me. Time, yet again, seemed to stand still. There he was, like a fucking god with his hair tied up in a bun on his head. His eyes were piercing blue, but something was so magnetic about the way he closed the gap between us. Quickly as my breath started to hitch, I turned away from him, and he gave me a quick peck on the cheek. I whipped back around to stare at him.
“Were…Were you just waiting for us?” He nodded silently so no one would notice what was happening.
“Oh.” It was all I could think to say. Aside from my parents, I was always put last in someone else’s life. I hated that I could admit that it felt good that he was waiting for me, but this was his prerogative. While Christian wasn’t exactly like Tyler and never berated me, he left me. I just wasn’t…loveable and had spent the past week convincing myself of that.
I turned quickly toward my friends and joined Tatum, where she sat on her lounger. We all moved toward the pool to watch the girls.
“Gianna, did you have a nice shower?” Aside from the sweet sounds of the girls playing in the pool, everyone stopped talking.
Alex started to laugh first. “Man, in the years that I have known you, I don’t know if I have ever actually heard you make conversation at a party.”
Julian nudged him. “Shut up, brother.”
Gianna shot both of them a pointed look before looking up at Christian. “I did. Thank you, Christian.”
“I brought something for you. I wasn’t sure if you were opening presents now or later.” Again, more stunned silence.
Christian walked into the house. Elio was now the one who broke the weird feeling we all had.
“He usually likes to observe from the corners of the room. This is new,” Elio said what we were all thinking.
“It is new.” I repeated and looked back at where Christian had walked into the house and now was returning with a wrapped present.
“Did you wrap that?” Tatum asked, and I shook my head. I had nothing to do with whatever he had gotten her.
He handed it to Gianna with the slightest smile on his face. Fuck, I wanted to cry. I didn’t know why I wanted to, but I couldn’t hold the tears in. It was so clear to us how hard he was trying. Maybe he was right. Maybe I should listen to what he had to say, at the very least.
She opened the gift, and it was the car seat she had just said she would have to get after the shower.
“Christian, this is so generous.” Julian walked over to him and gave him a supportive pat on the back. Gianna and Elio walked over and thanked him profusely.
We all sat out and watched as the girls played. I got off the chair and looked over at Tatum while I kept sniffling. It was the only fucking thing that was weirdly preventing me from breaking down and crying right here. My heart felt so heavy and proud.
I walked over to Christian and grabbed his hand, interlocking our fingers. Our touch together felt like it ignited something deep within me. A fire burned so brightly whenever we were together. It was as if we were always meant for each other, and it fucking hurt that we were fighting whatever this was.
But this display of trying? It was heartwarming…for all of us.
I guided Christian inside while Tatum graciously offered to keep an eye on the girls. As I led him down a hallway, his grin was irritatingly persistent.
“What the hell was that?” My attempt to soften my tone failed, coming out more bitchy than intended. The smile instantly vanished from his face.
“I was just getting her a gift. It didn’t mean anything, Maeve.” I sighed, aware of my own asshole behavior. My walls were up, making it difficult for me to express my emotions, especially to someone who had already hurt me.
“No, no. It was nice.” My words stumbled out clumsily. Christian’s back was against the wall, and I suddenly realized I hadn’t released his hand. The warmth of his touch offered some comfort.
“What’s going on, firecracker?” I started to cry. At this point, I was probably ugly crying, but through clouded tears, Christian’s face fell. “Did I do something wrong?”
I just stared at him with a warning, and we laughed through our sobs. “I mean, again?” He released my hand and grazed his large fingers underneath my eyes, slowly wiping away my tears.
“You-you didn’t do anything,” I mumbled, barely able to string together a coherent sentence amid my crying. Truthfully, I had no idea why I was so overwhelmed. Leaning against the wall, I sank to the floor, curling into a little ball. I tucked my head into my knees and let the tears flow freely.
“Nobody will love me. Everyone just leaves me. You show up again, and you were so nice. It was clear you were trying, too. I think I'm just an emotional mess." My words spilled out rapidly and chaotically, lacking any rational thought. It was a pure stream of consciousness.
Christian joined me on the floor, pulling my back into the cradle of his legs. His arms enveloped my entire body as we huddled together, forming a protective cocoon.
I could feel his chest rise and fall with mine.
“Breathe,” he murmured in a low, gentle tone. “You’re safe.”
I closed my eyes, envisioning my happy place.
“Tell me what you see.” He must have sensed that the crying slowed down so instead of shutting down, I shared exactly what I did.
“I am in my happy place,” I responded.
“What does it look like?”
“I’m in the country, but like, still close enough to a Target…”
He laughed. “Of course.”
“I live in a house with a large, white wraparound porch. There are some wooden rocking chairs out in the front. The kids are running through a fluffy, green field. I have a glass of sweet tea in one hand, and I’m watching my kids play together as the sun goes down. Their giggles and laughter are so loud and joyous.”
His hands reached around and wiped away a few remaining tears, and I realized my breathing wasn’t shaky anymore. I felt…better.
“Thank you,” I said, turning my head to look straight into his deep blue eyes.
“It sounds like a beautiful place.” I nodded in agreement.
“I don’t know what came over me. I was just so emotional watching you out there.”
“I have so much to say,” he confessed, his hand wrapping around my waist as if I was just going to run away. To be honest, we must have looked utterly ridiculous just sitting in the hallway on the floor.
“Now isn’t the right time.”
“I know, but please give me a chance to try?” I swallowed hard.
“I don’t know?” It was a question. I wasn’t sure. I was so tired of someone always pulling away from me, even if he felt so right.
“Fair enough.” His face dropped, and he quickly pulled away from me and offered his hand, lifting me.
“Come on, firecracker.” He attempted a smile, but we both knew it wasn’t genuine. He playfully slapped my ass before I looked back at him and rolled my eyes.
I hated that when I got overwhelmed, it was easier for me to just break down and cry, but I needed to figure out how to build myself up again, too. Because sometimes it was okay to falter, but it was in the regrowth where we really found out who we were.