Chapter 65
BLAIZE
In all the years I’d come to the grave, I never thought it would be to talk about another woman.
I never thought I would feel this way about someone else.
I had pointless hook ups and flings at the club before I cut myself off, but my attraction to Kadence happened long before I saw her naked.
I didn’t believe in love at first sight, but when I saw Kadence, there was a pull.
It wasn’t just curiosity about who she was or why she was in my town.
While I was curious about her past, she needed to tell me when she was ready. The blind spot was screaming at me, but it was muffled. I wanted her more than I wanted to know her past. Trauma was something people had to share when they were ready, and she showed me a part of herself at the pier.
A loss.
Her brother.
I saw the pain in her eyes when she talked about him.
It was something we shared, but something told me she had more to her story. And it started when her brother died.
I hit the kickstand on my bike and walked to the place that had been my confessional and my serenity for the last five years. Guilt danced in my chest when I sat down in front of her grave and I saw Olivia’s gorgeous face.
“God, Livia, if you were here you’d kick my ass.”
My firecracker. The one person who kept me in line. Without her, I felt like I was spiraling. And now I had another person in my life who reminded me of her.
“What do I do?”
How did I move on from the woman I loved for years and lost tragically?
For the last few years, I forbade myself from opening my heart up to someone so I never had to feel the heartbreak of loss and pain ever again.
Feelings led to distraction. Distraction led to loss.
I never wanted to feel the way I felt when I lost Olivia and Charlee.
When I lost them, I wasn’t the same woman.
I was an empty shell of the person I once was.
When people said they lost themselves when their partner died, they told the truth.
A part of my soul was taken with Olivia and Charlee.
The part where my humanity once was. Now, I was a void.
Kadence felt like a light at the end of a dark abyss.
A light I never thought I would see again, and it scared the shit out of me.
“Livia, I need you to yell at me, to hit me with a stick. Feelings like this are foreign.” The brisk fall air blew through my hair. “Very funny.”
I spent three hours at the grave talking to my wife and daughter. When I left, I felt a little lighter.
I would chase Kadence, and this time, I wouldn’t fuck it up.
“What the hell does someone wear on a date?” I asked Hunter as she laughed. There were clothes thrown around my bedroom. Why did I feel like a hormonal teenager going on her first date? Even when I started dating, I didn’t act like this.
“Babe, I am the wrong person to ask, but it’s cute that you’re stressing out about this.”
I flipped her off, going back to the clothing in my closet. “Why are you here?”
“Hey, you asked for my help.”
“And yet you’re not helping.”
Hunter walked up to me, smacking my ass as she stepped into my closet.
“Black slacks. They make your ass look good like leather, but they aren’t as gruff.
” She tossed a pair of form-fitting black slacks at me.
“Let's see.” She glanced at me, looking at my lace-covered chest. “White button up. Make sure you keep several buttons undone. Show off your tits and the tattoo. And…” She grabbed a pair of green suspenders. “Women go crazy for suspenders. Kadence has the hots for you already, so she’ll be putty in your hands tonight.”
“We aren’t having sex.”
Hunter looked at me. “Well you’re fucking stupid.”
I rolled my eyes as I slipped into the black slacks. “Kadence wants to go through the process of dating.”
Hunter arched her brow. I couldn’t read the look on her face. “You do realize you both skipped every part of dating right?”
“Yes. We did. If Kadence changes her mind, then maybe it’ll happen, but I am not pushing it. I want to make this work with her.”
She narrowed her eyes on me. “You’re falling in love with her.”
Love.
It was a powerful word.
“I think I am. If it’s not love, maybe I am just insane.”
“I’m insane. Love has nothing to do with that. It’s good to see that spark back in your eyes, Blaize.”
“I’m scared shitless.”
It was easy telling Hunter how I felt because I knew she wouldn’t use it against me.
Maybe she would one day, but it would be to knock sense into me when I needed it.
She was here with everything. Every major moment in my life, Hunter was there with me.
She was there when my daughter was born.
When I decided to open the X-rated portion of Hades.
After I lost Olivia and Charlee, Hunter kept me on solid ground.
Now she was the only person I trusted to help me navigate these feelings.
“It’s okay to be scared. Don’t let fear hold you back. Now stop talking to me and go get your girl.”