Chapter 6
KIERAN
I t seems I’ve found a problem that whiskey can’t fix. Though I keep trying to see if drinking a little more will eventually be the solution.
At this point, I’ve lost count of how many glasses I’ve had throughout the night. After Eden demanded to see me—which foolishly made me hope that she would be more receptive to my presence—I started pouring.
She’s been home for less than a day, and it’s ripping me apart. She called me a liar when I told her we are married. And Lochlan thought talking to her would work.
I finish off another glass, never taking my eyes off the window. I keep hoping that staring out at the mountain peaks will ease the tightness in my chest. That I’ll stop feeling absolutely fucking gutted.
But it hasn’t. Nothing has.
Not the whiskey. Not the fresh air—which I used to enjoy with Eden. Not knowing she’s finally home and safe.
Maybe that should be enough for me. But instead, all I can remember is the shock and fucking horror on her face when I called her my wife.
If only I had walked in a few minutes later. Maybe she would have already shattered the mirror and could have used a shard to end my miserable life.
“You’re still here.”
I don’t move at Rohan’s voice. Instead, I pick up the bottle on the side table next to me, noting it’s empty.
“Kieran.” He plucks the bottle and glass from my hand, and I let my gaze slide back to the window. The sun is up now, reminding me that time is still moving even if I wish it weren’t. “Did you sleep?”
The words barely register. I’m more focused on the lack of weight in my hand. It’s been hours since I haven’t held a drink, and I glance toward his bar, itching to grab a new bottle.
Besides, I don't need to answer. I haven’t slept in practically a week, barely eaten during that time. He knows I was too focused on finding Eden, and after the absolute disaster yesterday was, that hasn’t changed.
Rohan sighs. Distantly, I register his footsteps leading away from me. That is the reason I came straight here after I left the room Eden is in. If I was at Lochlan’s, he’d be more inclined to make me talk, and I’m not interested.
Rohan is more likely to pull a gun on me than make me share . He’d taken one look at me when I started raiding his bar last night, told me not to break anything, and left me to it.
A cool glass is pressed into my hand, and I furrow my brow as I look down at it. “That’s not whiskey.”
Rohan snorts. “No. It’s water. Drink it.”
I frown. “You have plenty of whiskey to spare.”
“And I think that you are mostly made of it right now. You reek.” He taps the glass. “Drink it.”
I don’t feel like arguing. My mind is too muddled to even care as I tip my head back and drain the entire thing like I have been doing with alcohol all night.
“Can you stomach food?”
I squint up at him, looking at him for the first time since he entered the sitting room. “Why are you fussing?”
I expect him to tell me to fuck off. But he’s watching me with a deep frown, one that looks more concerned than pissed. “Jude is on his way over. I know that you would rather drink all day, but unfortunately, I’m going to need you to at least pretend you are sober.”
“Why?” I’ve drunk more with Jude before. And Rohan is usually the last one to say something about anyone’s drinking.
“Because I had him take Nolan to check on Eden before breakfast this morning.”
I jerk my gaze away, flinching at her name. Her voice echoes through my head, despite all my attempts to drown the words out.
Let me go.
I don’t know you.
This isn’t my home.
What did you call me?
It’s enough to have me pushing out of the chair, stumbling over to the bar. I feel Rohan’s eyes on me as I grab the bottle closest to me. But he doesn’t say anything as I shakily pour myself a new glass.
I swallow down the burning liquid, leaning heavily on the bar to stay upright. It helps to quiet the memories, and I try to refill the glass. But then Rohan’s at my side, pushing me away.
“That’s enough, Kieran.” I glare at him as I’m knocked off balance. He uses it to his advantage as he shoves me back into a chair. “You are practically flammable at this point. You need food, water, sleep. Not more whiskey.”
“Fuck off,” I grumble, shifting away from him. My eyes fall closed, and I can’t be bothered to fight him.
I could go home, where no one would be monitoring my drinking. Unless they send Jude to keep an eye on me, though he might be the only one who would be understanding in this situation.
Except Eden is in our home. Being that close to her is too hard for me right now, and this drunk I’ll probably do something stupid like try to reason with her. With Eden, that usually involves blood or death threats.
“Ro?” Lochlan’s voice cuts through my foggy thoughts, and I know that I’m definitely not getting another drink now. “Have you seen…Kieran?”
I don’t lift my head as I hear his footsteps stop. He’s spotted me, and I have no doubt my state is a little unnerving. I’m as rigid as Rohan when it comes to maintaining my control, so my all-night binge is extremely out of character.
“Is he dead?” Lochlan whispers.
“Not as close as he’d like to be, I’m sure.” I don’t need to look up to know the look Rohan is giving me. “Though he’ll be feeling like he is soon enough.”
“This is fucking bad.”
I snort. They have no idea.
“Fuck! I didn’t know he was awake.”
I tilt my head to eye Lochlan, who is clutching his chest. I’m in no mood for his theatrics. “Go away.”
His dark blue gaze flicks up from me, and I’m certain he’s looking at Rohan. I don’t have a clue what silent conversation they are having, but when Lochlan looks back at me, his gaze is filled with worry. “Kier, maybe we should get you some food.”
“You can both leave me the fuck alone,” I grind out, shifting in my seat. I go to push myself to my feet, but Rohan just knocks me back down.
“Will you fucking stop?” At least his tone has a familiar bite to it. “I didn’t make you tell me what happened last night, but at this point, you have to talk to us about what’s going on.”
I drag a hand over my face, but the whiskey has loosened me up enough to answer instead of glaring at them in silence.
“She called me a liar.” I whip my head around to look at Lochlan.
“You said I should try to explain, so I did. I told her she was home, that she was my wife, and she called me a liar . Said she was a fucking prisoner.”
“Fucking hell,” Rohan breathes behind me.
Lochlan moves closer, his brows pinching together. The way he’s studying me is so unnerving when I’m far more comfortable with his loud, party persona. “Maybe Nolan will give us a better idea on how to handle this. He might be able to figure out what happened, how to get through to her.”
I want to shut down the idea. The mere concept of her rejection is enough to level me, and her actual words have the power to flay me alive.
But I didn’t give up the first time when it came to her. If there’s a possibility that there’s some information that will help her, I need it.
She made me work so damn hard to earn her trust the first time.
Even if she was much more receptive then than she has been this time, I’ll still do it all over again.
She’s never made it easy on me, and while I’ve never been any good at being patient, I’ve always found a way to make it work with Eden.
Clinging to that, I nod, pushing to sit upright in my seat. “I’ll eat something,” I rasp out, realizing how dry my throat is.
Relief softens Lochlan’s face before he leaves the room to find me some food. Rohan refills my glass with water, and I down two of them before Lochlan is back with a plate of eggs and toast.
This is how we’ve always shown our support to one another. Raised in a cutthroat environment, we might not say much. But I know that these two—and even Jude—have my back when I really need it. Just like I’ll always be here for them.
By the time Jude walks in, I’ve managed to eat most of the food and sober up decently well. I’m sure I still look like hell, but at least I can hold a full conversation. Mostly because I only say a few words on a good day, so my short answers are expected.
His icy eyes rake over me, and he shoots Rohan a questioning look that makes me think I might look even worse than I thought. Rohan shakes his head, and that’s enough to keep Jude quiet.
Nolan, on the other hand, eyes me like he’s not sure if he was brought here to bring me back from the brink of death or deliver a report. “Mr. Kelly,” he says warily.
I shake my head. “Kieran.”
He sighs. He doesn’t like calling me Kieran. He’s been the family doctor since my father was still alive, and yet, he insists on calling me by my last name.
“Mr. Kelly,” he repeats firmly. “Are you in need of an evaluation?”
Jude turns his head away, but I know he’s trying to keep from laughing. Lochlan can’t hide his chuckle, but at least Rohan smacks him for me. Pricks.
“I’m perfectly fine, thank you, Nolan.” Shifting, I pick up my water and take a sip. Hopefully, he doesn’t notice the slight shake still in my hand. “I’d like to hear about Eden.”
He eyes me dubiously, but he doesn’t push. Nolan has always been good at knowing when to press me and when to let something go. He’s stitched the three of us up so many times that I have more memories of him when I was a child than my parents.
“From my brief examination, Mrs. Kelly appears to be in perfect health.”
Mrs. Kelly . The mention of her hurts. I want to be with Eden right now, going over every inch of her body and ensuring myself that she is here and safe and unharmed.
I shove all that down and quirk a brow instead. “No signs of injury? No cuts or bruises?”
He shakes his head. “None that appear to be from the rebels. She claims that they fed her, gave her a bed, and no one harmed her.”
Questions I should have asked Eden myself, but I doubt she would have given me the answers. She’s been nothing but combative since I found her. Which, honestly, is her personality. It’s just…different now.