Chapter 6 #2
“What about her memory?” Nolan has met Eden before on numerous occasions. He would have noticed something was wrong even if Jude or Rohan didn’t warn him.
He shakes his head. “She has no recollection of anything before waking in the camp, and I couldn’t find any signs of what caused the loss. There’s no physical evidence of blunt force trauma, which is what I had initially suspected.”
“Is there something else that could have caused it?” Rohan asks behind me. He has a soft spot for my wife—treats her like a sibling. Anything else, and I would have killed him.
Nolan looks a little uncertain. “Psychological trauma or nerve damage, both of which would have other symptoms. But there was nothing that I could find. It is as if she just…lost everything.”
“Everything?” Lochlan looks as perplexed as I feel. “Not just recent memories?”
He shakes his head. “She didn’t know her last name or anything beyond what she was told.” He narrows his eyes on me. “It’s made her understandably distrustful and stressed since everything is foreign to her.”
I don’t defend myself to Nolan. I don’t explain that I seem to be an even bigger trigger for her, that I’m not trying to be an arsehole.
“Is there anything we can do for her?” I say instead.
“I’d recommend easing her back into her life. Some things might feel familiar and help, but don’t overwhelm her.” His lips purse. “And give her some control. The lack of it is only worsening her state of mind.”
His answers only make me look over at the bar, wanting another drink. I’ve never been affected by anything the way I have been by Eden, and it’s clear I have no clue how to handle this situation.
“Thank you, Nolan,” Jude says in dismissal when I go silent. “We will want to do regular check-ins, just in case.”
“Whenever you need.”
I don’t look back as he heads out of the sitting room. No one speaks until we hear the front door open and close, and then I force myself to turn my head. Jude is already studying me, and I have to force out the words as I ask, “How bad was she?”
“Her room is trashed. I don’t think she slept. Reportedly, she’s been trying to find any way out of that room, and I had to physically stop her from attacking Nolan.”
I nod, trying to digest that. “So, the same.” Jude was the one who drove us up the mountain, so he knows that she was practically a wild animal in the car.
“Yeah.” Even he seems bothered by the answer. “The same.”
“You need to earn her trust again, Kieran.” Rohan moves to the chair across from me, sitting. “She’s acting this way because she feels threatened, and we’d all do the same in her place. Hell, this was how she was when she first met us.” He gestures to him and Lochlan.
I nod but don’t respond. The truth is, I don’t know how to calm her down enough to get her to trust me. I’m worried that if I try to give her more freedom and show her she’s not a prisoner, she’ll leave, and after the rebels took her, she’s not safe anywhere else.
“How did you win her over in the first place?” Lochlan eyes me like it’s not the first time he’s wondered. “You’re kind of an arsehole, Kier.”
I shoot him a glare. “Thanks.” I scrub at my jaw, trying to come up with an answer. “I showed her that we were compatible.” Starting with how much we liked to make others bleed. “But if she has no memory of who she is, I don’t know how to do that.”
I manage to keep my voice even if it feels raw to admit that. I love my wife. I’m just worried she doesn't exist anymore, and it’s an impossible thought to swallow.
Jude makes a grunt of agreement. “Kieran is right. Their relationship was entirely on her terms, but that was when she had her own life, her own home, and no enemies after her. This is more complex.” He saw every step of it, so he knows exactly how I won her over.
“Then explain it to her,” Lochlan urges. “Help her see that she’s here for her safety?—“
“She doesn’t trust me, Lo.” I look away. “The rebels probably tried to poison her against me, and now it’s a fucking mess. She won’t believe anything I say.”
I need to protect her, but in doing so, I forfeit her trust. There’s no way for me to have both.
Not to mention that I have no idea how to connect with her when she has no memories. She doesn’t remember her time on the mat or her love for a sunset over the mountain peaks. And I doubt that if I try to show her, she’ll focus on anything but fighting me for long enough to notice.
“What about Mika?” Jude’s gaze meets mine. “Eden trusted her almost instantly the first time they met. If anyone could get through to your wife, it might be her.”
That gives me pause. Mika and Eden have been almost inseparable as long as they’ve known each other. She might be just the person that Eden needs right now.
“I think you’re right,” I murmur. “I’m not sure how receptive Eden will be, but ask Mika if she’s willing to find out.”
Jude’s lips twitch as he thinks about his wife. “She’ll be thrilled. She’s missed Eden.”
So have I. But I don’t say that.
I just nod as Jude leaves, letting my memories of Eden wash over me. This was so much easier when killing a man in front of her was the way to win her over.
Maybe that will be plan B.