Chapter 19
EDEN
I stretch across the soft bed, my body so sore that I briefly wonder what happened to me. I know there are bruises decorating my skin from the soft pain that radiates through me as I roll, but as last night comes back to me, I smile. It was so worth it.
Peeking my eyes open, I expect to find Kieran next to me. But there is no sign of soft brown waves or green eyes.
I try to ignore the ache that spreads through my chest as I sit up, noticing that I’m completely alone. There’s no light on in the bathroom, no shower running, no rustling movements. I don’t even have to call out to know he’s not here.
I shove away the feeling deep in my gut, reminding myself that I only came here for physical relief anyway. I don’t care if he’s already gone—even if I never would have expected him to act like this.
But as I turn to get out of the bed, I spot a plate on the table next to me. Fruits and pastries wait for me, along with a cup of coffee, and that makes my lips curl up.
Maybe it’s better that he isn't here. I have a lot to process, and I’m not sure I can handle him calling me wife right now. Even if I’m starting to like that word more and more in his sexy accent, like the possessive growl that always comes with it.
I pop a few pieces of fruit in my mouth and stand, glancing toward the massive windows. I’m still naked, but the view is of the mountainside. No one will be able to see me.
Since Kieran left me completely alone, I’m not going to pass up the opportunity to explore his room. I’ve never been in here before, and I’ve been curious.
Unsurprisingly, the massive bed with dark sheets takes up the center of the room. All of the furniture is a dark wood, which would make the room feel too dull if it weren’t for the entire wall of windows letting in sunlight.
He keeps everything very neat, which I expected, so there’s nothing strewn about the floor. There are a few weapons on top of his dresser, and I chuckle softly as I look at them. A few guns and knives, set in cases and ready to grab at a moment's notice.
I pause as I look at them, though, because some of them don’t look like they would belong to Kieran.
One of the handguns is smaller, with a dark wood handle and gunmetal gray barrel, and two of the knives are slender and more decorated than the next.
I study them, a flicker of something echoing in my chest.
Moving away from them, I step into the closet, but I don’t make it a full step inside before I freeze. I’m stunned as I stare at the perfectly organized space, the light from the windows illuminating the small room.
One wall is lined with dark clothing: shirts and pants, rows of boots. They are all similar and the only thing I’ve seen Kieran wear.
But the other side is what has me a little shaken. There are dresses, shorts, sweaters, and several slim black outfits. Boots and heels line the ground. And they all look like they are my size.
Dragging my hand over the fabric, I walk deep into the closet, taking in the different pieces here. There’s a spot where clothes have clearly been removed, and I assume those are the ones that ended up in my room.
My heart kicks into gear, and I go into the bathroom next. There are two toothbrushes, a thick brush that Kieran wouldn’t need for his waves, body soap that smells like berries and familiar. All of it tickles at something in the back of my mind, and I can’t stop myself from digging deeper.
I don’t even know what I’m looking for anymore. I no longer believe Kieran is the monster I first thought. I no longer think I want to leave. But my body is moving before my mind can provide reason.
I dig through the dresser, where I find more clothes that I think are mine.
One drawer is filled with jewelry, rings that fit my fingers and thin necklaces I marvel at.
Another is filled with folded pants that must be Kieran’s, ones that are more casual than anything I’ve seen on him. It’s so…domestic.
Putting everything back, I open the drawers on his side table, expecting to find more weapons. But instead, there are glossy pages of what look to be printed captures of camera footage. Each one has a time stamp in the corner, a little blurry and black and white.
And every single one is of me.
Me in the center of a cage. Me bowing to an audience gathered around a mat. Me pressed against a brick wall by Kieran. Me in so many iterations, fighting and smiling and living a life I don’t remember.
Shakily, I sink onto the edge of the bed, staring at the images that cameras in the city must have captured.
Nights that Kieran clearly didn’t want to forget.
Most of them have him in them, too, and as I lay them out by date, I can see a little of our relationship.
They don’t say the whole story, but I can see the way he watches me, the little touches that were captured.
The way we look at each other.
I stopped doubting that I really was Kieran’s wife, but if any part of that still lingered, these images would erase it entirely. There’s no hiding our feelings when they are on full display for everyone to see.
It makes me wonder why he took me to a guest room instead of showing me this room first. It’s so clear that I had a real life here with him.
But would I have believed it? If he had dragged me from that car when I was still unwilling to trust anyone and tried to show me clothes and pictures, would I have listened? I’m certain I would have thought it was some lie he had fabricated to manipulate me.
Hearing you reject him kind of pushes him over the edge.
Mika’s words come back to me, and my heart aches for Kieran.
He didn’t bring me in here because I shut him out every time he tried to explain.
He had to listen to someone he cares about call him a liar and a captor.
I can imagine that he didn’t want me to take what little he had left of us away, too.
It’s overwhelming as I look around, taking in the pieces of our lives scattered around me.
I’m just starting to make peace with the concept that I might actually like being around Kieran—not because of our past, either.
I like the way we push each other. I like the way he makes me feel.
I like that he tried to give me space but never gave up on me.
But I’m not sure I’m ready for this.
Needing space to think, I quickly tuck the photos away and pull a simple outfit from the closet. I dress and slip out, hoping I don’t run into Kieran before I can gather my thoughts.
Luckily, I make it back to my room without anyone stopping me.
This time, Ash isn’t outside my door, but Gale is.
The shy smile she gives me tells me that she knows exactly where I’ve been.
She’s too sweet to give me shit about it, though I still duck my head to avoid meeting her eyes as I slip past her.
Immediately, I’m struck with the realization that this room isn’t as comforting as Kieran’s. Despite the windows and soft mattress, there’s something about his dark decor and the scent of him that settled me. Or maybe it’s the innate comfort that comes from the memories I lost.
I’m about to strip down and get in the shower when I cast a glance at the bed. I move closer, biting down on my bottom lip as a smile threatens to break free.
Folded in a neat row and laid out across the blanket are half a dozen new pieces of swimwear.
* * *
“You aren’t serious.” Mika’s brown eyes are wide, her thick hair piled on top of her head. We’re seated across from each other on top of her kitchen island, despite there being stools within reach. When she hopped up here, I joined her without question.
I nod, stealing another piece of chocolate from the package between us. She claims that Lochlan has better sweets than what Jude can find, and we were considering going to raid his kitchen—because apparently, Mika can walk into anyone’s home and it’s fine.
But then I dropped the bomb on her that I slept with Kieran last night.
I’d been holding it in since she showed up outside my room, and I told her I wanted to see where she lived.
In truth, I needed a little space from his house and wanted to talk to Mika without a chance we’d be interrupted or overheard.
She and Jude have a small three-bedroom cabin down a short path from Kieran’s house, curving around the mountain and out of sight. They are tucked away a little lower than everyone else, and while Jude keeps a guard on the path, no one is in their house like Kieran’s.
I have been curious about Mika’s home, so she gave me a tour of the open space that somehow fits her personality perfectly. While I love the views from Kieran’s patio, I also adore the coziness of Mika and Jude’s space.
She nudges me, mouth dropped open in surprise. “And? Was it incredible?”
I giggle. “Isn’t that something you already know?”
“Don’t deflect!” She leans forward, voice dropping. “Spill, Eden. Was it so worth the tension that has been building between the two of you?”
“Yes,” I admit, glad that I decided to talk to her. Emotions, I’d rather keep to myself. But this? I have no problem admitting that I enjoyed getting railed by my husband. “He is…” I fight a smile. “Kieran knows what he’s doing.”
Mika squeals. “Thank fuck you finally came to your senses. I was getting blue balls for the guy.” I raise a brow, and she waves me off. “Metaphorically.”
I roll my eyes, even though I feel a bit giddy. I had a few hours to digest what happened before Mika showed up, and I’ve decided I’m happy I took the leap. Kieran and I have great sexual chemistry, and I want to spend more time around him. To get to know him again.
There are other little things that I’m still not sure I’m ready to face, like sharing a room or seeing if all the fighting I used to do is still muscle memory. I’ve felt like there is something missing, so maybe getting back on a mat will help with that.