Chapter 19 #2
But instead of fighting Kieran or being distrustful of the people closest to him, I want to try to learn who I am again. And I think he’s a big part of that.
I’m not exactly ready to admit any of that out loud yet. Thankfully, Kieran doesn’t seem like the talking type, which makes perfect sense to me. I would never marry someone who asks too many questions.
Befriending someone who does, though…
“So, was it a one time thing?” Mika’s playful smile is still present, but her expression has softened a bit. “Or are you and Kieran trying to get back to where you were?”
I look away from her. I know that talking to Mika has helped, but it doesn’t make it anywhere near easier. So, I just shrug a shoulder.
She nudges me with her foot. “Don’t give me that.”
I sigh. “I don’t know. We’re just…taking it as it goes.”
She snorts. “Yeah, you two aren’t exactly good at talking. It’s more like you push the other until you both snap.”
“I guess some things don’t change.”
That makes her laugh, but before she can answer, the front door clicks open. “Mika?”
Her whole face lights up at the sound of Jude’s voice. “In here!”
He rounds the corner, pausing when he sees me. “Eden.”
“Hey, Jude.” I offer him a little wave. We haven’t really interacted except for when he brings the doctor to check on me, and he always seems tense around me.
It doesn’t feel as if he doesn’t like me, but there’s distance between us I can’t understand.
Still, Mika adores him and Kieran trusts him in a way that tells me I can, too.
“I didn’t expect to find the two of you in here.” He goes to his wife, pinching her chin and tilting her head down so he can kiss her. Her hands slide up to cup his face, and she sinks into him. When they break apart, he presses his forehead to hers. “I expected you to be getting in more trouble .”
She grins. “We were considering going to steal Lochlan’s sweets.”
He narrows his eyes. “The prick made me pick up extra boxes in the city because of you.”
“Did you bring me one?”
“Why bother? You’d rather provoke him by taking it from his kitchen.”
Mika kisses his nose. “That I would.” She leans back, looking over at me. “Want to go with me?”
Jude wraps an arm around her waist, dragging her closer so he can nip at her jaw. “They are all at Kieran’s for a bit.”
“Maybe I should send you there as my lookout.”
He chuckles. “And here I was thinking you’d want to actually see me after I was gone all day.”
She tilts her head as he kisses down her neck. “I do.”
I clear my throat. “Maybe another time?” I hop off the counter. “I think I’ve already eaten my weight in sugar.”
Mika gives me a little pout until Jude sinks his teeth into her skin. Her eyes flutter closed, and I rush toward the front door. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” I shout, closing the door before I see something I shouldn’t.
Shaking my head, I make my way back up to Kieran’s house.
I slip through the side door that Mika showed me, intending to go change into one of my new swimsuits.
But I pause at the hallway that will take me to that side of the house, thinking about how I’ve wanted to reclaim pieces of myself. I can’t do that by always hiding alone.
Jude said all three of the guys came back here, and I haven’t seen Rohan and Lochlan besides that one awkward interaction in the hall.
The way Mika talks about them makes it clear that she’s as close to them as she is with Kieran, and I know he considers them family.
It makes me wonder about the relationships I’ve lost with them, too.
That has me turning in the direction of Kieran’s room. I’m not certain where they’ll be, but as I stride toward the back of the house, I hear Irish male voices. I follow them around a corner until I spot Lochlan’s back, his blonde curls distinctive as he throws his hands up in the air.
“Why me?” he shouts.
“Because if it’s Rohan, Miles will be dead in five minutes.” Kieran’s tone is dry, and excitement shoots through me at hearing him.
“I want him dead more,” Lochlan argues as I creep closer.
“And I have less patience.” Rohan’s voice is raspy, his accent thicker than the other two.
For a moment, I consider turning away, not wanting to interrupt them. But then Lochlan turns around to swipe a bottle from the table by him and spots me. At first, he grins, but I watch his expression fall as he remembers the way I’ve been avoiding them. I don’t like that.
“Ro, we should go.”
“You can’t throw a fit?—”
“ Rohan .”
“It’s okay.” I step around the corner, my eyes darting to Kieran, who sits up as soon as he sees me. Meeting Lochlan’s deep blue gaze, I muster a smile that doesn’t feel that natural. I’m not like Mika. I only naturally grin when I’m teasing—or provoking. “I didn’t mean for you to leave.”
Lochlan looks from me to Kieran, uncertainty on his face.
Even Rohan’s brow is pinched, not that I blame him.
Neither of them seems to know what to do with me, and if I’m being honest, I feel slightly out of my element.
I don’t really know these guys, not anymore, but my hand brushes over the blade sheathed at my thigh, reminding me that I’m not helpless.
And under Kieran’s green gaze, I feel myself relax a little more. I trust him enough to let my guard down around his friends. Or at least try to.
He lifts his glass, only focused on me. “You want to join us for a drink?”
Relief trickles through me at his invitation. With a playful grin, I echo his words from last night. “I would love to.”