Lennon
Duke pulled us up to the Humane Society, and a nervous flutter grew in my belly as I thought about what I had volunteered myself to do.
This morning, I felt defeated—I didn’t want to fight Asher anymore.
I just wanted some form of affection, and if I was honest with myself, this morning had been one of the most perfectly intimate moments of my life.
The way that our bodies had connected through soft touches and bare skin had been harmoniously personal.
I was enthralled with him. Slowly, he was chipping away at the stone walls I had built over the years, and with effortless ease, he had left a small chip in the exterior.
His mouth pressed against mine, my hands threaded through his hair… it was intoxicating.
A blush crept over me as the thoughts spiralled inward, a warm, swirling heat building inside.
I pressed my legs together, seeking a quiet, private release.
I had never felt this way about someone before.
Licking my lips, I turned toward Asher, who was watching me with an intensity that set me ablaze.
His eyes were fire—ravenous, consuming—and I felt it, knew it, and most importantly, believed it.
I believed it. Maybe? No. That couldn’t be right. I needed to snap back to reality—the one where those kinds of luxuries didn’t exist for me.
“I’ve never had a pet before,” I said flatly.
His perfect mouth twitched at the corner. “Me either.”
Surprised, I furrowed my brows. “Really? I would have never guessed that.”
He chuckled softly. “I’m the one who wrote it down.”
I then remembered he did, but he struck me as the type who had grown up with a family dog—a golden retriever fed scraps from the dinner table whenever they didn’t like what their mother had made. That was the type of life I had assumed Asher had lived. Maybe I had him all wrong.
“I know, I seem like the type to have grown up with pets, but my dad…well, he’s kind of a hard-ass.
” Asher chuckled to himself. “Wow, that’s the biggest understatement of the year.
He’s a total dick, and didn’t allow pets in the house.
He had this mindset that they only cost money and didn’t really bring any value to the home—or some bullshit like that. ”
Giving him space to be vulnerable, I whispered, looking away, “I never stayed in one place for too long, so I didn’t have the chance to have a dog—or any pet, for that matter.
When I did live with my mother, she was the world’s biggest bitch and claimed she was allergic to pets, but I never believed her. ”
“Guess we’ve known a couple of assholes in our lives, huh?” he asked thoughtfully. I smirked and gave a subtle nod in response.
“Ready to go pick out a dog?” I asked, shifting the subject.
He nodded. “Let’s go pick out our love child.”
I shook my head, muttering under my breath, “Idiot,” as I reached for the car handle. Before I could even move, Asher was already outside my car door, closing it.
“What the hell, Asher!” I shouted as the door clicked shut. He opened it himself with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face. Swinging my legs onto the ground, I shoved his shoulders while hoisting myself upright.
“Oh, little siren, you never should be opening a car door on your own,” he said, his voice low and smooth, almost a purr.
I couldn’t resist. Arguing was always in my nature, a reflexive defence. “Yeah, well, I’m not incapable. I can open my own fucking door.”
“No one said you were incapable, Lennon. But a portion of your life has been difficult, taxing, and fucking exhausting. You’ve had to do it all yourself.
You can allow yourself to be spoiled with me, okay?
I know you don’t believe it, but you deserve to just enjoy the little acts of service I’d love nothing more than to offer you. ”
I rolled my eyes and scoffed at him.
“Why do you gotta be so mean?” He chuckled.
“Growing up, I had to be fucking mean. It was survival, a means to an end, really,” I admitted, then softly added, “I don’t want to be mean—it’s just all I know…if that makes any sense.”
Embarrassed at offering a glimpse of myself, I shook my head and walked ahead, needing the space.
Asher picked up the pace, leaning close so his voice brushed against my ear. “I kind of like it when you’re mean. Also, first one to the door gets the final say on who we bring home!”
Before I could register what he was doing, he sprinted toward the front entry of the humane society. Realizing what he was doing, I bolted after him like a bat out of hell. Not today, Asher. Not today.
It wasn’t far, but I crossed the threshold mere inches ahead of him. For an athletic guy, he was panting as though it had taken everything in him to run that fast.
“You don’t have to flatter me and let me win.” I laughed, breathless.
Tossing his hands up in defeat, he admitted, “You got me, fair and square.”
Once inside, we approached the receptionist and explained we were looking to adopt a dog. She clicked eagerly at her computer, signing us in so we could go see the dogs.
Following her as she led us to the back room, we entered a space filled with rows of large kennels, each housing a dog.
Slowly walking down the hallway, I surveyed them all, and a wave of emotion washed over me.
I wondered if this was how parents felt when choosing a child to adopt.
Even worse, I wondered why some children—or in this case, dogs—were passed over for others.
Was it how they looked? Their hair colour, height, build? The way they smiled—or didn’t? Did they not like my clothing choices?
Pulling me out of my head, a soft voice caught my attention. “Hey, Lennon, where did you go just now?”
“Nowhere,” I said immediately, my attention shifting back to the dogs. They stood at the edges of their cages, eager for attention, tails wagging, searching for someone to take them out of their confinement. They are all so cute, so desperate for a home. Someone to get them the hell out of here.
Asher stepped closer, pulling me out of my thoughts again. “I would buy you any dog you want, Lennon. We don’t have to just pick from what is here.”
Without looking at him, I said softly, “These dogs need someone to take care of them and give them a good home, too.”
He paused thoughtfully, then nodded without a word. He didn’t know the full weight behind my statement, but he sensed that it was something that resonated with me on some level. I realized then that Asher was attuned to the people around him, cautious, always thinking ahead about how others felt.
He offered me his hand, and I hesitated. It was daylight. There was no imminent risk or adrenaline. And someone was at the end of the hallway. I gulped, unsure why I felt apprehensive.
I rubbed my fingers into my palm, telling myself to just fucking do it.
Why make it complicated? To show him my appreciation for how thoughtful and kind he was, I offered him my hand.
He interlaced his fingers with mine, and if I hadn’t already been lost in my own head, I might have thought our fingers were made to fit together.
Asher didn’t make a fuss. He simply took my hand, letting me focus on each dog waiting for attention as we knelt to pet their little heads. By the time we had passed eight or nine kennels, I stopped at the next one.
At first glance, it seemed empty, but then a tiny tail peeked from the corner.
If it hadn’t twitched ever so slightly, I might never have noticed it.
I paused my slow meander with Asher, turning my full attention to the back of the kennel.
There, huddled in shadows, was a fluffy dog with dark, blue-grey fur and piercing, light-green eyes—so pale they almost blended with the whites.
Kneeling in front of the kennel, I peeked in with the kindest eyes I could muster. “Hey little guy, whatcha doing back there?” I whispered gently.
Asher knelt beside me, watching with quiet patience. And in that very moment, I was grateful for him.
“Want some pets? Want to come say hi?” I murmured to the fearful dog. The receptionist was making her rounds, approaching behind us.
“Oh, that’s Nova. She’s been here quite some time, but she’s the sweetest thing once she warms up to you,” the staff member explained.
Asher, without making eye contact, murmured, “Sounds like someone else I know.”
I leaned into him, shoving him in the shoulder. Was Asher really softening me as a person?
“Can I meet Nova?” I asked the receptionist, who had already moved along to the next few kennels, noting something on her clipboard.
“Of course you can,” she said cheerfully. Seasoned and confident, she retrieved her keys without even a second glance at them while she opened the kennel door for us. Her low ponytail swayed as she continued her rounds, leaving us to meet Nova in private.
I stepped inside the kennel, sitting on the floor near the fear-filled dog. Asher stayed in the entryway, leaning casually against the steel frame with his arms crossed, watching us meet one another quietly.
“Hey, little lady. I’m Lennon. That weirdo over there is Asher. He says I can pick any dog here to bring home, and I think I’d like to choose you—if you’ll have me,” I whispered softly.
I waited, still and patient, for what felt like an hour, letting Nova decide to approach me on her own terms. Asher had excused himself to the washroom, insisting I take as much time as I needed.
Just when I thought she might never move, her front paws crept slowly toward me. My stomach fluttered as a subtle gratification ran through me. That tiny movement was enough to have kept me sitting there all fucking night if that’s what it took.
I glanced around the corner, making sure no one was listening—specifically Asher. When I was certain we were alone, I looked back at Nova and decided to speak my thoughts aloud.
“Oh, Nova,” I whispered, my voice barely there.
“I know this world has been unkind to you. If anyone understands that, it would be me. I don’t know what happened to you, and you…
you don’t know what happened to me, but I think I could give you all I have left for this world—to help heal you, at least a little.
It isn’t much, but when I’m too tired to carry on, Asher would be a damn good replacement.
So if you’ll have me, I’d love nothing more than to adopt you and bring you home with me. ”
Nova held my gaze, her eyes searching me, as if looking for even the smallest hint of cruelty.
When she couldn’t find it, she slowly lifted herself onto her paws and crept toward me, careful, deliberate, as if afraid of startling even herself.
My heart thundered in my chest as I watched her take those first tentative steps toward my still body.
It took everything in me not to move—and if anyone showed up right now to startle her, I might have killed them.
She stopped just inches from my hand resting on the floor and lowered herself into a crouch. After one more glance up at me, she leaned forward, sniffed my fingers, and nudged them gently with her cold, wet nose.
I wanted to cry. Emotion flooded through me, overwhelming and raw. This—this was trust. Something she was offering freely. More than I could say for myself most days.
And then Asher drifted to the forefront of my mind.
A soft voice snapped me out of my deeply rooted thoughts. “We can stay here all day, but do you think she’d like to see her new home?”
I chuckled quietly. “Yeah, I suppose she would.”
He reached out with a leash, which I took, noticing the tags were brand new. He must have bought it in the lobby while I was here with her.
“Why don’t you want her to stay with you at your place?” I asked curiously.
I knew that accepting Nova would mean she’d be staying with me, but I couldn’t help wondering why he hadn’t even offered.
In fact, I’d never heard him talk about his place or where he lived outside of Duke, the driver.
Even then, he only really mentioned that Duke drove him around when his parents weren’t keeping him tied up.
“Um…my landlord wouldn’t want me to have dogs,” he said, his voice catching slightly, almost stuttering. Something about it made me feel like I was catching him in a lie.
“You know, landlords can’t stop you from having pets in your place,” I said matter-of-factly. “They can frown on it, but they can’t kick you out.”
He shrugged and kept moving toward the exit, Nova padding close behind. But something inside me refused to drop it. Why was I so fucking nosy?
“Do you have roommates who don’t like pets or something?” I asked.
Asher shook his head. Annoyed, I jogged up to his side and grabbed his arm. “Hey. Are you not telling me something?”
“No, why?” he asked, seemingly confused at my questions.
“I don’t even know where you live—or that much about you, really. You seem like you’re well off, yet you live in an apartment where you can’t have a dog? Seems like there’s something you’re not being forthcoming with.”
Asher closed his eyes, shaking his head. “Just drop it, Lennon.”
I shook mine, unwilling to let it go. “No. I need to know.”
His audible sighs made it clear he didn’t want to say what came next. Still, he turned to face me, stopping us in our tracks.
“I’m a loser who lives at home with his parents, okay?”
The colour drained from his face almost instantly. His hand moved to his chest, fingers gripping his shirt as if he were trying to steady himself.
I grabbed him, attempting to keep him upright. “Hey—hey. That’s okay, I don’t care. I don’t care, Asher.”
The lobby erupted into chaos as his weight gave out and he collapsed toward the floor. I shouted for the receptionist to call an ambulance, my voice cracking with panic.
Asher’s eyes fluttered shut, and then he was gone—unconscious against the cold floor.
Panic tore through me like a siren. No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t leave. He couldn’t go. I needed him to finish this stupid bucket list. I needed him—for Nova now.
Maybe—just maybe—I needed him for me, too.