Chapter 34
Trey
Casper, Wyoming
Knox
I’ll be there in an hour. Check me in when you go to the office please.
Trey
You got it.
Itoss my gear bag behind the chutes and head for the secretary’s office to check in.
Knox is on his way back from Estes Park.
I was entered, but after Jessie and I— broke up?
Can I even call it that?—after whatever happened between us, I turned my bull out.
That trip was for Kacey’s birthday, and I didn’t want to ruin it or make anyone uncomfortable.
I’m not sure I could handle seeing her, not after the way we left things.
So here I am in Casper, Wyoming, waiting for Knox.
I’ve been back to riding for a few days and haven’t ridden a single fucking bull.
My head is so messed up, and I’m not focusing on riding.
I miss Jessie more than I thought was possible.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve picked up my phone to call or text her, but I never do.
I know I fucked up. I could see it in her eyes.
She needed me to go. I broke her trust and asked for more than she was ready for.
She all but begged, pleaded with me to leave her alone.
I’m not convinced she meant half of what she said, or that she truly wanted me to go, but something pushed her over the edge.
Not something—I pushed her over the edge.
I pushed too hard; I never should’ve brought up giving our relationship a title or confronted her father.
Then I could’ve left for rodeos and still been able to call her when I saw something that reminded me of her or send her those dirty texts that make her blush.
I could’ve come home to her in the fall.
Now there isn’t a single place on earth that feels like home.
I have nowhere to go home to. Sure, Kacey and Knox will tell me to stay at the ranch again, but I can’t do that.
Jessie loves it there; I don’t want to be the reason she stays away from Diamond Hart.
I need my own place. I need to build my own life.
I was beginning to think maybe I’d build that life with Jessie.
Until I moved in with her, I never thought about a real relationship. It was never something I wanted with anyone until her. Fuck, I miss her. So much.
I fell for her without even realizing it.
I’ve never been in love or had my heart broken, but this constant ache in my chest—the urge to get in the truck and drive back to Colorado—that’s what this must be.
A broken heart. I’ve broken bones, torn ligaments, been knocked out, and stomped on by bulls, but all that pain pales in comparison to losing her.
“Good to have you back.”
I look up to find Sterling Taylor leaning inside the door to the rodeo office. He’s one of the pickup men for the Burning T Rodeo company and happens to be one of the owners’ sons. Dave Taylor and his family have been putting on rodeos for damn near one hundred years.
“Sterling, good to see you.” I shake his hand on my way past.
The Burning T must have a new rodeo secretary this summer. Sitting at the desk is a pretty woman I’ve never seen before. Her heart-shaped face and strawberry blonde hair make her look like a real-life doll.
“Hello, checking in?” She beams up at me.
“Yes, ma’am. Trey Bennett, bull riding.”
She flips through her papers. “I haven’t seen you around. Is this your first rodeo?”
I smirk. Cute. “This and one more will be my second. Got any words of advice for me?”
She laughs and blushes, still smiling. “Oh, I wouldn’t know. I just do the paperwork.”
“What’s your name?”
“This is not your first rodeo. Hurry up, Bennett. There’s a line,” Sterling growls behind me.
I turn. One roper is talking to another outside—there’s no line. Sterling’s jaw is clenched and his eyes are shooting daggers at me.
Oh.
It’s not about a line; it’s about the pretty girl blushing at me.
I smirk at him, purposefully riling him up.
I have no interest in this woman—I was only being friendly.
But the normally happy-go-lucky Sterling thinks otherwise, and I love fucking with him.
Besides, me and my broken heart could use some cheering up. If it’s at his expense, so be it.
“Olivia,” she answers as I turn back to face her.
“Nice to meet you, Olivia. I also need to check in Knox Ward, please.”
She does her paperwork, and I chat her up, asking how she likes working for the Burning T. I can practically feel Sterling seething from behind me.
She hands me our back numbers. “Good luck.”
I exit the office, biting my tongue so I don’t laugh at the death glare Sterling is giving me. Gosh, why not just fucking pee on the girl, you cave man.
My momentary relapse into the flirty playboy of my past did nothing to soothe the ache. I take out my phone and check it, a wave of sadness sinking into my gut. It’s a waste of time—I know I won’t hear from her.
“You use your day off to get your head out of your ass?” Knox asks, sitting next to me behind the chutes.
I put my boot ties on. The clang of gates as a saddle bronc horse leaves the chute delays my response.
Knox is worried about me and more than a little frustrated.
He told me not to get involved with Jessie, and I did it anyway.
Now he’s way ahead of me in the standings, and we like to go to the finals together.
I’ve been riding like shit since I came back, I know that.
But I’ll get it together—I don’t have a choice.
I mumble a response, but it’s not good enough for him.
“What was that?”
“I said I’m working on it,” I snap.
“Go ahead, ask.”
“Ask what?”
“About her. I saw her in Estes,” he confirms.
I finish with my boot tie before I cave. “How was she?”
“Good. Took some Boot Barn wannabe cowboy back to their Airbnb while Kacey stayed with me.”
My head snaps up. “She what?” I ask way too loudly.
A few heads nearby turn our direction.
Knox laughs.
This fucking asshole. “You’re full of shit. And an asshole. Seriously, how was she?”
He sighs and leans back on the gate behind him. “Honestly, quiet. She tried to hide it and act normal, but she’s not herself. You two really fucked this up. I warned you.” He points at me.
“I know. I know.” I take off my hat, scratching the top of my head. “It’s my fault. I fucked up and pushed too hard.”
Knox is quiet for a minute before saying, “I know you miss her. I’ve never seen you like this, but you have to pull it together if you want a shot at the finals. If that means a trip back to Colorado to get her back, then that’s what you do.”
“No. She needs space and time. I’m not giving up on her—she’ll be my first stop come October—but right now, I think the best thing I can do is do what she asked of me and give her space.”
He nods, and we both finish getting ready.
I haven’t told Knox the whole story. I refuse to betray Jessie’s trust again, and I know she hasn’t told Kacey about Daryl.
If I tell Knox, he’ll tell Kacey, who will tell Carson, and so on.
No one in this makeshift family can keep their damn mouth shut, so for now I’ll keep it to myself.
As far as Knox and Kacey know, I pushed for a relationship and she pushed back harder.
I worry about her safety every day—what if Daryl does something? Can she protect herself? I check her social media accounts watching for posts and stories to see she’s okay, but she rarely posts.
I catch my finger with my rosin knife. “Fuck.” Without a word, Knox tosses me a roll of tape to stop the bleeding.
This is exactly why I’m riding like shit.
I need to focus on the task at hand. I have to believe my leaving will make Daryl back off, and she’ll be okay until I can get home and try to work this out once she cools down.
My bull is loaded in the chute. Knox was second out and rode a nice bull easily, as he should. He’ll make it back to the short round.
He walks over to me and slaps the back of my vest. “Your turn. You can win the round on this bull.”
There are two guys until me. I bend over, touch my toes and stand up, cracking my neck. “Maximum effort.” I put my helmet on and have Knox pull my glove back so I can tape it on.
I sit on the top rail of the chute, spacing out while the guy before me warms up his rope.
Knox punches me in the chest. It knocks me back but doesn’t hurt because of my vest. “Hey. Wake the fuck up. This isn’t a bull you can half ass.”
“I’m awake, Dad,” I snarl at him before kicking my legs over the top rail, spinning so I’m ready to crawl into the chute.
“Good, get pissed. You’re hurting. Get mad about it. Use it to help you. You’re not going to make the finals being a little bitch.”
“Hey, I’m no bitch.” I warm the sticky rosin up on my bull rope. The guy before me nods, and the gate swings around, clanging into the side of my chute.
“Could have fooled me. You don’t start riding something, we might find your picture next to little bitch in the dictionary.
” Heat rises in my chest, and with it, an anger I’ve been pushing down boils to the surface.
I’m not mad at Knox, I’m mad at this entire situation—at myself and my stupid mistakes.
“What was it she said? Second isn’t a good look? ” he continues.
That verbal punch hurts, but it’s what I need. I climb on the bull’s back and put my hand in the handle of my rope. “Shut the fuck up and pull my rope.”
He pulls it tight. I grab my tail and wrap it around my hand. I take one deep breath.
Jessie might not want me, and my life might be a mess, but if there is one thing I know I can do, it’s ride bulls. I slide up to my rope and nod.
The gate swings open and the high-horned brindle blows up out of the chute. I slam my hips to my rope as his front feet hit the ground. He throws his head up, baseball bats for horns waving under my chin.
Yeah, pass. You’re not hitting me with those things.
He rears, and I make sure not to break too far over, staying clear of those horns.
As he transitions to his kick, I can feel he’s going to turn back to the right.
Once again, I stick my chest out and pull my hips down, then I throw my free arm over my head.
He slings his head back again, and I can feel his momentum change, instead of going back into a rear, he bounces on his front feet, slings his head again, and kicks.
I grit my teeth, rolling my shoulder back as I lift on my rope and draw my knees up to keep my upper body from lying over his horns.
Alright, you wanna play dirty? Let’s see what you got.
He throws in one more dirty hop-skip before he finally commits to his spin and levels out his timing.
At six seconds, I throw my free arm over my head, harder than I have before so I can drag my foot up and kick out.
I grunt through gritted teeth. I’m pissed, and I’m riding like it.
I spur him two more times, then the whistle blows.
I jerk my tail and sling my hips to the left, sticking the landing right in front of the bucking chute I left from.
I don’t turn back to see where the bull is—I don’t care.
I walk right back in the chute, climb it and look Knox dead in the eyes. “There—fucking happy now?”
He smirks as they announce my score.
“88 points!”
Looks like I’ll be back for the short round.