Chapter 10
When Saturday comes, I’m surprised by my growing excitement about Alice’s sleepover.
I decide this is the perfect time to finally respond to Amari’s email.
I know that right now, I won’t overthink it.
I dash off a response: I’m thinking of you, but I’m still winning back my mom’s trust, and it’s risky for me to be in touch. I hope you’re well. —Jasmine.
I close my laptop and turn to my closet to pick out an outfit for tonight.
The last few days, I worried that Kayla’s friends might come to their senses and take back the sleepover invite, but that never happened.
Then I worried that my mom would say no.
Kayla asked her at dinner last night if we could both go, and I held my breath as she thought about it.
Finally, she said yes. I almost dropped my fork, I was so shocked.
Kayla later told me that she knew asking in front of her dad would kind of force her hand.
At least I’m not the only person who can see that my mom doesn’t want me out of her sight.
This is proven once again as I start getting ready.
“Jasmine, I do want you to have fun,” Mom says, appearing in my doorway as I throw a pair of pajamas in my tote. “You know that, right?”
“Okay,” I say, because it certainly hasn’t seemed like it. “I’ll see you later, Mom.” I slide past her.
Kayla is all smiles when I get into the car, and my mood instantly lifts. She turns left out of the driveway, and we pass our school, heading in the direction of the neighborhood with the enormous houses.
“Did you remember to pack something to sleep in?” Kayla asks as she pulls into a circular driveway and comes to a stop. My mouth falls open as I look at Alice’s house.
“Uh, yeah, I did,” I manage to say, my eyes fixed on the brick mansion in front of us. There are two white columns framing a grand front entrance and holding up a terrace that looks like it’s filled with the whole plant section of Home Depot. It’s sort of magical.
“Alice’s grandparents are loaded,” Kayla says.
“Apparently.”
Kayla laughs as she hops out of the car. I hoist my bag over my shoulder and follow her to the front door. Kayla rings the bell and I feel my stomach twist a little. She must sense my nerves because she nudges me with her hip.
“Breathe, Jasmine. This’ll be fun,” she says.
I smile. “Yeah, you’re right.”
The front door swings open. “Evening, girls,” says an older woman with bouncy gray curls.
“Tired of seeing me yet, Ms. Mary?” Kayla says.
“Not a chance, but it might be time to get you a set of keys,” she says, waving us inside. “A new face today. Who do we have here?” Ms. Mary asks as we step into the foyer. A glittering chandelier hangs from the ceiling above an enormous staircase.
“This is my sister, Jasmine,” Kayla says.
“Alice is okay with adding a member to your little group?” Ms. Mary whispers with a smirk.
“She’s getting there.” Kayla shrugs.
“Well, nice to meet you, Jasmine. I’m Ms. Mary, Alice’s nanny,” she says.
“Hi, Ms. Mary.” I try to smile through my nerves.
“Let Alice know there are sandwiches down here if you girls get hungry before dinner,” Ms. Mary says, walking away.
We head upstairs and I follow Kayla to the first door at the top of the landing. Alice’s name is carved into it with a crown over the A. The door swings open before Kayla touches the knob.
“You’re here!” Alice screams.
Kayla slaps her hands over her ears like Alice broke her eardrums.
“What, I can’t be excited to see you?”
“Not that excited,” Kayla says, laughing as we step into the room.
Unsurprisingly, it’s massive. Light filters through gauzy white curtains draped across windows on the far end. The walls are a soft pink and there’s a king-size canopy bed in the center.
“Where is everyone?” Kayla asks.
Alice shuts the door and looks at us like she’s about to burst out laughing.
“What?” Kayla says.
Suddenly, Kenny, Mel, and Deanna tumble out of the bathroom, gasping for air.
“Disgusting!” Deanna yells at Kenny from where she fell on the rug.
Mel piles on top of her. “Seriously! What the hell did you eat?”
Kenny sits at the vanity laughing so hard she can’t respond. The others are laughing too, which makes me and Kayla crack up. Kenny looks at me with puppy eyes. “Jasmine, you too?” she says, covering her face. “I had dairy, it’s not my fault!” she squeals.
“I’m sorry, Kenny,” I say, “it just came out.”
“Yeah, that’s what she said!!” Mel laughs harder.
“You guys are ridiculous,” Alice says. She grabs my tote and adds it to the pile by her closet.
A long slinky dress covered in sequins hangs on the door, in front of another dress I can’t see beyond some tulle at the bottom.
The sequin dress looks like something you’d see on a red carpet, not in a teenage girl’s bedroom.
Before I can take my eyes from it, Alice whispers in my ear.
“Those are our homecoming dresses. Top one’s Kayla’s. She’s gonna look better than all of us,” she says.
“What are you whispering about over there?” Kayla asks from the floor, where she’s sitting with the other girls. I make my way over to them and plop down next to her, letting Alice respond.
“She was admiring your dress, nosy,” Alice says.
Kayla nods approvingly. “I know it doesn’t look like it will fit my big ass now, but you’ll see by homecoming, watch,” she says.
Her reaction surprises me because I’ve never heard her comment on her body like that.
“Stop, you always look hot,” Kenny says.
We all nod in agreement. I don’t say what I’m really thinking, which is Will these girls still want me around by homecoming? Will I get to buy a dress and go to a dance like a normal teenager?
I shift my attention to Deanna, who tilts her head and smiles at me, like she always does. I missed her face. She mouths hi and I mouth it back.
Deanna turns to the rest of the group. “I’m more excited about the carnival than homecoming, to be honest,” she says.
“Oooh, I almost forgot that’s coming up,” Kenny says.
“When is it?” I ask. “And what is it?”
The girls laugh.
“In a couple weeks. It’s one of the biggest events in town—rides, games, junk food, the works,” Mel says.
“Everyone goes,” Kayla chimes in.
“Sounds fun,” I say, wondering if maybe I’ll be in a picture like the one on the fridge this year.
Alice claps her hands together. “All right, enough chitchat, ladies,” she says, standing up like she’s going to make a speech. “Welcome to the first official sleepover of the school year!”
The girls cheer, to Alice’s delight—and mine.
“We’re moving this thing to the theater. Mary set us up there for the night so she can put away laundry in peace. Change into your pj’s and let’s go!” she says.
Kayla shoots me a look, and I already know she’s expecting to see my mouth wide open at the mention of a theater. My face doesn’t give me up even though I’m screaming on the inside.
This might actually be fun.
The theater has eight oversize armchairs, four in the front and four in the back.
Alice, Kayla, and I sit in the back row with an open seat at the end, and Kenny, Mel, and Deanna grab the front row with an open seat by the wall.
Alice starts Everything, Everything and we all settle in, munching on popcorn and sipping sodas.
I can see Deanna from my seat almost the same way I can in class—that side profile I’ve come to know so well. Halfway through the movie, she catches me staring and a little smile plays on her lips.
When the credits roll, Kenny and Mel start talking about what we should watch next. Alice sniffles next to Kayla.
“Are you crying, Alice?!” Kenny turns around fully to see her face.
“Be serious, the AC is blasting in here. It’s my allergies,” she responds quickly.
“Yeah right,” Kenny says, twirling a strand of her thick blond hair around her finger. “That movie got you right in the feels.”
“You know she hates having a heart,” Deanna chimes in, looking back at me and then at Alice, who sticks her tongue out.
Ms. Mary delivers three boxes of pizza and we all sit in a circle in front of the screen to eat.
“Oh my god, I’m stuffed,” Kenny says after her fourth slice.
I’m eyeing the last piece—I only had one and I’m still hungry. I feel weird taking the last slice though.
Deanna sees me looking and taps my knee. “Go for it,” she says.
I smile and grab the piece, downing it in a few bites.
“I think I’m gonna opt out of the last movie, guys, I can barely keep my eyes open,” Mel says, yawning and making her way to the sleeping bags.
They’re lined up against the wall, spaced neatly with a pillow and name card on each one.
Kayla checked that there was one for me as soon as we walked in and beamed with pride to let me know there was.
It seems like everyone is going out of their way to make me feel included, and I couldn’t be happier.
“Oh, thank god you said it, me too,” Kenny chimes in.
Alice walks back in with a bowl filled to the brim with popcorn just as the girls are grabbing their sleeping bags. “No way, guys. We’re going to a party!” she shrieks and throws popcorn at us.
Mel and Kenny drop their sleeping bags and perk up immediately.
“Okay, say more, Alice,” Mel says, grabbing the bowl and throwing popcorn back at her.
The more Alice drags it out, the more nervous I get. I can’t go with them, and I’m already embarrassed to have to say that. I look at Kayla and Deanna, who are just as intrigued as the other girls.
“That senior kid, Myles, from science … with the mole,” she says.
“The one you told you would rather die than go to homecoming with?” Kenny asks.
“Yes, but this isn’t a homecoming date. It’s just a house party,” Alice says. She holds up her phone to show the message.
“Wow, okay. Let’s party!!” Deanna says, joining the girls now in a circle reading Alice’s screen.
I’m sitting with my knees pulled to my chest, running through reasons why I have to get home that won’t make things weird.
They’re definitely going to want to know why my mom is so strict with me, so I can’t tell them that.
Maybe Kayla won’t mind just dropping me off on the way and telling them I’m feeling sick.
That way, neither of us has to be embarrassed by my mom’s rules.
“Let’s go change. We’ll head out in like twenty minutes,” Alice says.
They all start to leave the theater, but I don’t move.
Kayla looks at me. “You don’t have to put on makeup or get super dressed up, they’re just extra like that,” she says.
I wait until it’s just us left in the theater but still whisper in case. “I can’t go with you guys. My mom will have my head,” I say.
Kayla sighs and takes a moment. “Okay, so technically you’re my responsibility for the night and I will make sure no one takes pictures or anything. There’s no way she will ever know. I promise!” Kayla holds her pinky out.
I freeze for a second. Pinky promises were a thing with me and Amari. I catch myself and shake my head, clearing my mind of the memory. “I can’t, Kayla. Can you just drop me home on our way?”
“You can, and you’re going to.” She grabs my hands and shakes them. “We’re going to have a great time and you’re going to forget Ma’s strict-ass rules for tonight. You’re with friends!”
“Thanks, Kayla, but I still think it’s too risky.”
“You’re with me, your sister. I know the risks, I got you. Okay?”
Well, now I really want to go. It’s so nice to hear Kayla talk to me like one of her girls and to call me her sister, like she really wants me to be there. I quiet the voice in my head that says Kayla doesn’t fully understand things are different for me. I just want to have fun and be normal.
I take a deep breath and throw my head back dramatically. “If you’re going to be that cute about it then I guess I have to,” I say with a shrug.
Kayla shrieks and wraps me in a quick hug. “Now, let’s go put a little bit of lipstick on you and maybe even some lashes?”
I laugh and follow her out of the theater. “Don’t make me change my mind!”
“Too late, it’s party time!!” Kayla says, running the rest of the way to Alice’s room. She stops once to make sure I’m still with her. Music pours through Alice’s door and I let thoughts of my mom and her warnings slip to the back of my mind.
As soon as we step inside, Deanna throws a dress my way. “Jasmine, this would look great on you,” she says.
I hold it out in front of me. It’s a silky black slip dress with spaghetti straps.
“Ooh yes,” Kenny says, turning to face us from where she sits in front of a full-length mirror. She has mascara in one hand and lip gloss in the other. “Wear that.”
“I agree!” Mel chimes in, fastening a pair of dangly silver earrings.
“All right,” I say. “I’ll try it.” As I’m changing in the bathroom, I hear Alice asking if she should wear sneakers or boots. Kayla’s debating putting her hair up or keeping it down, and Mel’s pushing Deanna to go for a bold pink lipstick. It’s all so normal.
I try to find my way back to the girl I was before the center, who could have fun at a moment’s notice. I want to be her tonight, the fun Jasmine.