Chapter 11
When we pull into Myles’s driveway, I’m surprised that his house is almost as big as Alice’s.
We park behind a long row of cars and head to the front door.
The music is loud, the concrete practically vibrating beneath us, and we can hear laughter and shouting from inside.
I feel butterflies in my stomach, and I can’t tell if I’m excited or nervous. Maybe both.
At the front steps, Alice excitedly passes around an engraved flask of “liquid courage.” Deanna hands it to me after she takes a swig. I think about passing, but then I look around at the other girls and they all seem excited for me to take a sip.
“All right,” I say. “Just a little.” The hairs on my body stand up at the taste of the warm vodka, and I shiver.
“Here we go, ladies.” Alice rings the bell.
The door opens almost immediately and a tall guy with curly brown hair smiles widely at Alice. “You made it,” he says.
“Now the party can really start,” she says, and pushes past him.
He laughs and steps aside so we can follow her. “Head downstairs to the game room.”
“Thanks for having us, Myles,” Kenny sings.
He nods at her and then smiles at me before closing the door. He’s cute. I smile to myself before remembering I’m not here for that.
I catch up to Deanna at the top of the stairs and we make our way down.
The “game room” is an entire finished basement with shiny wood floors and dim lighting.
Dark wooden beams crisscross the ceiling, making the space feel cozy even though it’s huge.
In front of us, there is a line of arcade games.
A group of kids is gathered around the pinball machine, yelling about a high score.
To my left, I see a long leather sectional couch.
Another group I recognize from school is bouncing in their seats as a girl sings into a microphone.
A TV is mounted on the wall across from them, playing a karaoke video.
To my right is where most of the party is, dancing in front of what looks like a fully stocked bar.
“This is a high school party?” I say to Deanna. She laughs and pulls me toward the bar.
“What are you drinking?” Kayla asks, bouncing over to us. She looks down at our hands and Deanna drops mine when she realizes she’s still holding it.
“Whatever you’re having!” I yell over the noise.
“You sure about that?” Kayla says, smirking.
I realize my last real drink was at Desiree’s uncle’s house over a year ago. But nobody’s grounding me tonight, so why not?
Kayla barely waits for Deanna’s thumbs-up before she runs up to the bar where some kid is restocking red cups.
I look around the room and admire how carefree everyone seems. I spot Kenny and Mel dancing themselves away from a guy who looks like he can barely stand. I nudge Deanna and point them out.
“Are you ready for this?” she asks.
“I mean, ready for what?”
“Possibilities are endless with unsupervised teenagers in this town,” she says, laughing.
I think I already saw that at lunch the other day.
“Where are Myles’s parents?” I ask.
“Probably on vacation. They’re always going somewhere.” She motions to the guy I showed her a few moments before. “That’s his older brother. He’s in charge.” She laughs.
“Wow, got it.”
I look at Myles’s brother and try to figure out how exactly the responsible person is the most drunk in the room. What if something happens?
“Shots first!” Kayla interrupts my thought, handing me a red cup. She passes another one to Deanna and raises hers to the middle. We both follow suit.
“What are we celebrating?” Deanna asks.
Kayla pushes her cup in my direction. “The new girl!”
Deanna smacks her cup into Kayla’s. “Cheers to your first party,” Kayla says.
“Ayeee, cheers to our new girl!” Deanna yells.
I bump my cup into theirs and can’t help but feel a sense of pride. I feel like I am getting the fresh start my mom wanted for me—new friends, new life. Not to mention new girl … I laugh thinking about Deanna saying, “our new girl.” Like, where does the cuteness end?
I warn Kayla that I’m about to embarrass her by plugging my nose since the smell of whatever she poured in my cup is aggravating my stomach already. She laughs and says she might need to follow my lead if she’s going to keep it down. We plug our noses and take our shots.
Kenny and Mel come over and grab Kayla to dance with them. She shoves her empty cup in my direction before they disappear into the crowd. Deanna points to a small table covered in red cups and hands me hers.
“So, you don’t dance?” She’s moved a little bit farther from the crowd and into a corner where the glow of the lights barely reach. I move closer to her.
“Are you asking me to?” I joke.
She looks at me curiously. “I’m asking about you, that’s all,” she says.
“It depends on how comfortable I am somewhere. My friend Desiree was the dancer,” I say.
I want to take that back as soon as it comes out.
I don’t want to get into anything about my past right now.
“You’re not going out there with them?” I ask, looking at Kayla, Kenny, and Mel having the time of their lives in the middle of the crowd.
“Nope. This isn’t really my scene, there’s always too much going on for me at parties,” she says.
Someone stumbles past us and almost knocks into her.
“Exhibit A.” She laughs and moves back to lean on the wall. I follow and let myself get even closer to her. Our shoulders are touching, but she doesn’t move away.
“Okay, so what is your scene? What do you like to do?” I ask.
“What we were doing at Alice’s house is a good example. I like things that are way more chill and where there are a lot less people,” she says. “The carnival is the only exception. I’ve been going to that since I was little, and I love it.”
“It does sound fun,” I say. “But that’s just like me, actually. I love like, quiet game nights and stuff.”
“Exactly!” Deanna says. “Just games and vibes, no annoying drunk guys or people breaking stuff or acting weird.”
“Oh my god, yes. But wait—you drink. So, you just don’t like getting drunk or when people get drunk?” I ask.
“I don’t drink. I’ll have a drink here and there, but I don’t really love the taste of alcohol. I also hate the smell of smoke, so I don’t do that at all,” she explains.
I wish I could tell her just how happy I am to hear her say that.
Darius’s idea of fun at parties was figuring out what would get him the biggest buzz.
Our nights out usually ended up with him sitting on a curb releasing the results of his decisions while I tried to stuff down my embarrassment.
And Desiree … not that we were ever together like that, but I spent more time with her than any boyfriend or girlfriend, and sometimes I wished we could spend a night sober.
I play it cool. “I hate the smell of cigarettes, too,” I agree.
“I knew I liked you for a reason.” Deanna smiles.
“That’s the only reason you like me?” I say, nudging her shoulder.
She laughs, and then shrugs. “No, but I don’t really know anything about you. You’re so mysterious.”
I open my mouth to respond and then close it. There’s no way to convince her otherwise without telling her things I’m not supposed to.
Deanna’s phone lights up in her hand and she checks it. I take the moment of distraction to see if I can make eye contact with Kayla on the dance floor. I don’t spot her but I do catch Alice making out with Myles in the backyard.
“Sorry, that was my mom,” Deanna says.
“No, that’s a good reminder, I should probably check mine.
” I unzip the small bag Kayla let me borrow and take my phone out.
The only other item in the bag, a tube of lip gloss, falls out.
Deanna picks it up and quickly swipes it on before throwing it back in.
I see zero messages from my mom and chuck the phone in there too before that changes.
“You good?” she asks.
I nod and give her a thumbs-up. Scanning the room for Kayla again, I see her standing at the bar with Kenny. She seems upset. I look away before she catches me staring and turn back to Deanna, who is swaying to the music.
“Can I ask you something random?”
“Yeah, anything.”
“What’s it like to date around here?”
Deanna groans. “A joke. A very big joke,” she says. “The guys in our school are assholes and the girls are, well, girls.”
I feel my cheeks warm. I’m not sure what she means by that last part. “So, you don’t do it? Or you haven’t?”
“I mean, I have, but I don’t recommend it. My ex-boyfriend is graduating this year from St. Anthony’s, and I literally can’t wait until I don’t have to see him in town. So, yeah…”
“Oh wow, it’s scary how much I can relate to that,” I say, thinking about Darius and how annoying it was to see him once we broke up.
“Look at that, another reason for me to like you.” She nudges me with her shoulder.
“Just wait, they’re gonna start racking up.” I nudge her back.
We return to Alice’s around midnight. After a recap of her make-out session with Myles (he’s a good kisser but used a little too much tongue for her liking), we head to bed. I’m looking forward to the giant breakfast Alice promised us, but when I roll over and look at my phone, my heart sinks.
Mom texted me an hour ago. Come home right away.
I sit up and gently shake Kayla, who’s sleeping next to me, cocooned in her sleeping bag. “Kayla,” I whisper. “Wake up.”
“What is it?” Kayla says, rubbing her eyes. I show her the text message. She groans softly and sits up. “Okay. Let’s go.”
We gather our things and tiptoe out of the room. “I’ll text Alice later,” Kayla says.
We make our way through the quiet house, winding through corridors and going up and down stairs.
I’m starting to feel nauseous, and I can’t tell if it’s because this place is such a maze or because of my anxiety about what’s waiting for me at home.
Finally, we step out the front door into the chilly early morning air.
“Do you think she found out about the party?” I ask Kayla when we get into the car.
“How would she have?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know, but I have a bad feeling.”
We drive the rest of the way in silence. When we get home, the house is quiet.
“Jasmine, Kayla. Come in here, please,” I hear my mom call from the kitchen. I let out a sigh and follow Kayla down the hall. My mom is sitting at the table, and Travis is standing by the counter.
“Jasmine, where were you?” she says.
“At Alice’s,” I say.
Travis sighs loudly and leans against the cabinets. “Kayla?”
Kayla looks at me and rolls her eyes. “A party,” she says.
I drop my head and take a deep breath. Here we go.
“So, you’re back to lying?” my mom asks, whipping her head in my direction. “That quickly, huh? I can see your location from my phone, Jasmine.” I keep my head down, but I can see her feet moving closer. Ugh. I can’t believe I forgot she could track me.
“I didn’t have to ask you a damn thing, I just wanted to see if you would lie to me. And of course you did. Of course you did!” she yells.
“Okay, Janice, come on,” Travis says. “It’s not only her fault.”
“What’s not?” my mom asks him sharply. “Is it my fault that she can’t be trusted then?”
Travis sighs and shakes his head. My mom turns her attention back to me.
“I told her it was cool for us to go. She didn’t want to, but I insisted. I didn’t know it would be such a big deal,” Kayla pipes up.
I finally lift my head, grateful and surprised that Kayla is standing up for me.
“Yes, Kayla—for you. Jasmine isn’t in the same boat. She has different rules, and she knows that,” my mom says, glaring at me.
“And that’s so fair,” I mumble.
Kayla takes a step back into the hallway, and my mom catches my eye before I can look away. “Have you forgotten why things are like this? Remember violating PINS for a random night out? Did that end well for you, Jasmine?”
I can’t believe she’s going there. “Maybe if you were home more, you could’ve made me stay inside!” I yell.
“Janice…” Travis says, his voice low.
“You are grounded,” my mom says, throwing her hands up and storming out. Travis follows her.
I run upstairs and slam my door, the tears falling as soon as I hit my bed.