Chapter Thirteen
London
“Absolutely not.”
“Mason, she has to—”
“I said no.”
I wince and feel like melting into the shadows. Instead, I hold my head high.
I will not back down. I can’t afford to, with my deadline looming over the horizon.
Olivia pushes herself off the desk. “Doctor Shepard already said he can’t treat her here, but he can see her in a facility outside the city.”
“Are you fucking deaf?” Mason turns to face Olivia, his eyes blazing and a vein bulging in his neck. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re on the precipice of war, Olivia. I can’t let you off the estate—either of you. It’s not safe.”
Olivia has to get through to him because I can’t imagine any other scenario where this ends well, and I’m terrified to open my mouth and give us away.
It’s been ten days, and this whole thing has been eating away at me.
I can’t take it anymore.
“Doctor Shepard has been the family doctor for years,” Olivia argues. “Katia is going to be with us.”
Mason glances over at me, and his eyes narrow. “She looks fine to me.”
Olivia steps into his field of vision, prompting him to look at her. “She isn’t, and there’s a chance she’s contagious, so unless you want to fight off whatever she has, stop being a stubborn ass and let us go.”
Mason ignores his sister, steps out from behind the desk, and strides over to me. “London.”
I force myself to meet his eyes. “Yes?”
Mason stops in front of me, and there’s some emotion in his eyes I can’t identify. “Why aren’t you telling me any of this yourself?”
I open my mouth, and I can barely hear anything over the thundering of my heart as I squeeze my eyes shut.
Then I sway a little on my feet, and Mason throws out a hand to catch me.
I lean into his familiar embrace and feel him lead me to the couch.
I open one eye. Mason has his arm draped around me, and he’s holding a glass of water to my lips.
“I should go with you.”
“It’s not safe,” I say. “We’ll draw too much attention.”
“Katia will be with us the whole time,” Olivia adds from her corner in the room. “You can send other people too if it’ll make you feel better, but we won’t need that many people.”
I shoot Olivia a look, but she ignores me.
There are too many people involved as it is, and I don’t want anyone else getting entangled in my web of lies.
It’s bad enough that Olivia and Katia have been roped into this, but having them by my side makes me feel better.
I wish I could tell you everything, Mason. You have no idea how much this is killing me.
But I can’t outrun the inevitable anymore where the baby is concerned.
And I’m worried that if I wait any longer, I’ll change my mind.
I’ve spent the past few days in a daze, trying to make my peace with the decision, and now that the time has come, I feel like I’m going to be sick.
Keep it together, London. Just a little while longer, and you can put this whole thing behind you for good.
If Mason lets us off the estate…
“I’m going to be fine,” I say. “Doctor Shepard needs to run a few tests.”
Mason swings his attention back to me, and guilt courses through me at the look in his eyes. “I don’t understand why he can’t do any of that here. I’ll double his fee.”
Olivia walks over to us and places a hand on Mason’s shoulder. “Some things money can’t buy, Mase. You know that.”
A muscle ticks in Mason’s jaw.
He lowers his head.
Mason stands up and crosses over to his desk.
A moment later, he picks up the phone and barks something into the receiver.
Olivia helps me to my feet as Nadia and a man with a buzzcut walk in.
In silence, I watch as Mason gives them terse instructions.
Once he’s done, everyone except for me files out of the room.
Once they’re gone, Mason crosses over to me and crushes me to him.
Tears prick the back of my eyes as I wrap my arms around him and inhale.
I want to stay in his arms.
I want him to slay my demons for me while I watch from the safety of the sidelines, but I know I have to face this on my own.
I don’t just need to be strong for myself, but for Mason, too.
“If you get into any kind of trouble…”
I bury my face in the crook of his neck and let the familiar smell of him wash over me. “Don’t worry. Katia and Nadia trained me well.”
Mason draws back to look at me and releases a sharp breath. “Okay.”
I clear my throat and drop my hands. “It’s fine. I’m going to be fine.”
“Okay,” Mason repeats. “If you want me to come, I will.”
I glance up at him, see the tightness around his eyes, and almost cave.
This is the same man who helped me bandage my knee, who stormed an abandoned house, and risked war with his enemies to save me.
The same man who is willing to stand up to his father and the entire world to be with me.
Why can’t I tell him the truth?
For the umpteenth time, I find myself wondering if I’ve built up the fear too much in my head and convinced myself it won’t work out.
Mason loves me, and I love him.
We’ve been through too much for it not to work out.
A baby isn’t going to change that.
Come on, London. Be realistic. How is this going to work out? Mason hunts his enemies by day and comes home to help you change diapers and feed the baby at night? Don’t be ridiculous.
“London?”
I blink, and Mason has his arms around me again, concern etched on his face. “Yeah, sorry. I’m still a little… shaky.”
“If you don’t want to go, I’ll find another doctor who can treat you here,” he says. “Just say the word.”
I hold myself still and stare at him. “You can’t risk bringing in someone new.”
I love him for sensing my discomfort even if he doesn’t know the truth.
Mason laces his hand through mine and brings it up to his mouth.
The gesture is so unexpectedly tender and intimate that it brings tears to my eyes.
I drop my head. “I should go.”
Before I do something stupid that we’ll both end up paying for.
Mason doesn’t release my hand until I look at him. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
I offer him a watery smile. “I know.”
Slowly, I pry my fingers away. Mason doesn’t look away as I walk backward. When I reach the door, I reach behind me to turn the knob. Mason’s expression doesn’t change as I step out and nearly collide with Olivia, who gently turns me around.
I feel Mason’s eyes on me the whole time.
As soon as I get into the back of the car, Olivia rubs my back.
Katia slides into the back with us and hands me a paper bag.
I clutch it with both hands and bring it up to my mouth.
I try inhaling several times, but the air won’t go through my lungs.
The car inches forward until we reach the wrought-iron gates.
Once we crawl through, I squeeze my eyes shut and retch until I feel as though I might pass out.
Olivia’s voice is a low whisper in my ear, and her hands continue to move up and down my back.
My ears are ringing, and there’s a bitter taste in my mouth when I look up and see Katia with the window rolled down, a pained expression on her face.
Finally, I lift my head and use the back of my hand to wipe my mouth.
Katia holds her hand out, I give her the paper bag, and she throws it out the window.
Then Olivia presses a bottle of water to my lips, and I guzzle it like my life depends on it. She drapes an arm over me and smooths my hair from my face. I lean into her and squeeze my eyes shut.
All I can picture is Mason’s face, anger, and disappointment rolling off him.
I awaken sometime later and realize that Olivia is still holding me and stroking my hair.
My throat is still dry when I sit up. After clearing my throat a few times, I glance out the window at the late-morning sun and wait for my vision to adjust. There’s nothing for miles except a tall metal building with glass windows, and a few armed men and women out front.
Katia is already outside talking to one of them, and I recognize Nadia. The two assassins turn to face the car, and Olivia insists on helping me out of the car and holding my hand as the sun shines down on us.
She’s still holding my hand when someone punches in a code and flashes a badge.
The double doors whoosh open and cold air greets me.
The smell of disinfectant rises to greet me inside, and I recoil, clenching my free hand into a fist. Olivia leads me to a set of leather chairs set against a cream-colored wall.
I blink and see Katia leaning over a large desk, talking to a woman with a blonde bob.
The blonde looks at us, pushes her glasses up her nose, and nods.
Katia exchanges a glance with Olivia before walking away.
I fold my hands in my lap and try not to bounce my legs.
There’s a low automated sound somewhere in the background, and now and again, a door opens to reveal men and women in blue scrubs. No one pays us any attention as we sit there. Guilt and worry gnaw at me, drowning out everything else.
I’m half out of my seat, ready to bolt when the door opens again, revealing Doctor Shepard.
He stops to talk to the blonde, who makes a sweeping hand gesture in our direction.
Immediately, he adjusts his white coat and crosses over to us in two strides.
He and Olivia exchange pleasantries, but I feel his eyes on me the whole time.
Then, we’re being led through a set of doors and down a dimly lit blue hallway.
Doctor Shepard stops outside a door and pushes it open, revealing a white exam room with a bed in the center, a desk off to one side, and a few paintings hanging on the bare walls.
Olivia tries to help me onto the exam table, but I shake my head.
She and Doctor Shepard say something else, but I don’t pay attention.
I bury my head in my hands and wait.
The door opens again, and Doctor Shepard returns with a dark-haired nurse who’s wheeling a cart behind her.
She stops and snaps on a pair of latex gloves.
Then she straightens my legs and pushes me back, gently but firmly.
I stare up at the ceiling, and my breath hitches in my throat as Doctor Shepard wheels a stool over to me.