15
Shuddering at Noah’s deep voice, I drip into my panties. Squeezing my thighs together, I glance around us at the open field. There’s nothing to cover us except a few distant trees.
“Here?” I ask.
“If you want. Only if you want.” He steps closer, stooping over to kiss my shoulder. Shivers erupt down my spine.
“Noah,” I breathe, sinking into him.
His thigh grinds between my legs, and I can feel the eyes on us. My cheeks are hot red, but...
“I do want to,” I whisper. “In front of everyone.”
We meet eyes, and Noah gapes.
My voice shakes, but resolve fills my tone. “You heard correctly. I want this so badly, I could lay back and drop my legs open for you, right this second.”
Noah stares as if he’s memorizing me, permanently etching my portrait into his mind. Before I can blink, he draws me in for a fierce kiss, hugging my waist to his hips.
His cock flexes against my belly. I can’t resist stroking it through his pants, rubbing more reactions from it until Noah growls.
He pulls back, breathless. “I don’t have protection.”
“I know,” I say. “I still want that baby if you still do.”
Noah’s eyes gleam brighter in the moonlight, his scent erupting so heavily that my eyes water.
“Of course I do,” he purrs. “Relax on your back for me. I want to mate you face-to-face.”
My stomach flips, anticipation mixing with the pulsing heartbeat between my legs as I excitedly sit on the damp grass.
But as I lay back for him, the sight of him above me threatens to trigger another flashback.
Noah freezes in a crouch, feeling the shift in our bond. “What”s wrong? Talk to me.”
“I”m having trouble staying present—” I swallow hard, struggling to explain the worst part. “In this position. I don’t want a flashback to stop us.”
Noah settles on his knees, opening his hands for me to grasp. “Sit on top of me, instead.”
I try to swallow my disappointment as I climb onto his lap, nuzzling into his neck to hide my embarrassment.
Noah nuzzles my head twice as hard. “Just for now. We’ll get you there.”
He hugs my hips into his lap with one arm, sliding up my skirt with the other. Caressing my ass, his hand slips lower until he strokes my clothed labia through our kiss. I’m so sensitive that I jolt in his lap, tingles whispering down my legs at his delicate touch.
My heart pounds, sensing more and more wolf eyes on us. It only deepens my craving for Noah.
My thighs spread over his lap on their own, a soft moan escaping my lips through our kiss. Every inch of me begs for more, even as nocturnal eyes glint in the distance over Noah’s shoulder, so I decide to lean in. I let my hips dip into Noah’s touch until his fingers prod my entrance through my soaked panties. As I rub my clit over his stiff shaft, I kiss him as hard as I can, seeking his purring reaction.
When he gives it to me—his growl humming into my throat—I whip open his belt. Its icy metal ornaments sting my overheated fingers as I free his cock.
Noah’s breath shudders as I thumb over his wet tip, making him gush a little more precum.
“Omega,” Noah breathes.
I want to hear more of him.
And I want to hear his lips gasping for air beside my ear as he burrows inside me. Losing the rest of my patience, I slide my panties out of the way, preparing him to enter me.
But the second he prods my entrance, I suck in a pained breath.
Noah jolts back, lifting my hips off him. “D-did that hurt?”
It did.
Just like it used to, after what Steven did. It’s the same, searing pain I had to train myself out of with Prolonged Exposure therapy, sex toys, and years of horrified, frustrated tears, unable to escape the feeling that Steven broke me.
Every sexual feeling in my body evaporates, replaced by panic.
“No, no, no— this can’t be happening!” I gasp, gripping Noah for dear life. “I can’t hurt like this again— You finally helped me feel good again—”
Noah squeezes me close, snapping me out of my thoughts before they swallow me. “Breathe. Look at me, and breathe.”
I nod, peeking up at him. My bottom lip quivers through the start of tears.
Noah kisses it. “It’s okay. It’s okay if it hurts right now.”
I deflate. “But how? What if it never gets better? What if I leave you frustrated forever, and—”
“All we know is what”s happening now.” Noah nuzzles his mark on my neck, a shockwave of his pain and love sinking into me.
A full sob escapes my lips. “It might not be just now, Noah. This started happening to me after he broke in, and it took forever for sex to stop hurting again.”
Massaging my scalp, Noah’s side of our bond aches with heavy concern. After a few more of my sharp sobs, Noah softens his voice.
“Your body probably just needs time after such an awful trigger. But if it never gets better, I still wouldn”t blame you for how someone else hurt you.” Despite how delicately his words graze over my lips, they ripple gravity-bending emotions through us both. “Please, please, Aliya, don’t tell yourself it’s your job to make sure I’m not sexually frustrated. I never want to hurt you during sex just to get off. That’s horrific.”
I whimper against his chest. Noah is flaccid beneath me, rooting my fears further in reality.
“But I want you inside of me. I want to have a baby with you, or at least to connect with you closely in all ways, including all types of sex.” I choke out tears. “What if we”ll never be able to do that again?”
“Let’s not think like that. We can”t predict the future, yeah?”
“Y-yeah...”
He licks my mark, making my eyelids flutter with a burst of endorphins. “We can teach your body that it’s safe now. Right here with me, in my arms.”
“Noah, I—” I swallow back a sob threatening to escape. “I still want you tonight. I know I seem like I need to recover, but I’m on the verge of heat. I think you really could get me pregnant.”
With a hard swallow, Noah holds me tighter. After a silent moment, his voice comes out soft, but his cock stirs, prodding my core. “Nothing”s ruined, sweet Omega. You still have me, and I can still try to get you pregnant beneath the Moon Goddess’s eyes.”
I can’t stop my heart from hammering. “You can? How?”
“I’ll show you. Lay down with me.”
My eyes remain locked on Noah as he joins me in the tall grass, cuddling against my back. His fingers circle my clit, stirring the heat in my groin back into action.
“It’s just us here now. I told the pack to give us space.”
My heart sinks, but Noah leans over my side to smash his lips against mine. It relaxes my shoulders, especially as he massages my clit with wide circles of his palm. Wetness drips from me, soaking my panties enough to dampen my thighs, and Noah presses his fingers into it.
“The second you don’t want something, even just feeling unsure about wanting it, we’ll stop,” Noah says.
I nod, panting as I vibrate with love for him. “I trust you.”
“Good. Keep looking at me. Tell yourself it’s just me.”
I can’t believe how quickly he’s brought me back into my body. Panic convinced me I’d never feel pleasure again, but I was wrong; Noah’s gentle breath against my lips sends waves of affection to my heart, reminding me that I’m here now. I already feel pleasure, lying in his arms as the grass sways over our heads.
Cuddling in closer behind me, Noah spoons me in his body heat from my shoulder blades against his chest to our intertwined legs. But instead of continuing to stroke me, Noah turns his attention on my breasts. He hooks both arms around my torso, rubbing his big, overheated hands over every shivering inch of my body.
Peeling the top of my sundress down, Noah exposes my bare breasts. He quickly cups them in his hands, not allowing the cool air to harden my nipples. What hardens them instead is his gentle, kneading massage, his fingertips flicking over the buds between soft, pulsing squeezes. It drives me into such a sensitive state that every circle of his palms burrows a deeper ache into my groin. Within seconds, my pussy flexes in time with each brush over my nipples. My hips buck back on instinct, pinning his prodding cock with my ass.
Noah’s deep, resulting purr sends a jolt down my spine. My breath comes out sharp and choppy as my legs squirm, aching for attention between them.
With Noah’s next purr, his deep voice sends tingles down my neck. “Can I touch you lower without anything between us?”
I swallow hard between gasping breaths, unable to stop my eyelids from fluttering as Noah drags both hands over my breasts, abdomen, and hips with heavy pressure.
I let out a soft moan. “Yes. Please.”
Noah purrs, dragging his tongue up my mark. A thrill races through my core. Encouraged by my pleased moan, Noah glues me to him, licking harder. I wriggle in pleasure, fisting his hair.
Noah’s deep, rolling growl buzzes through my chest as his hands gather my skirt. As he flips it over my hip bones, Noah kisses the edge of my ear. “And you still want me to try to get you pregnant tonight?”
I shudder, running my hand down his side as he presses against my ass. “Yes. I want you so badly.” I stop moving, hit with a wave of disappointment. “But I know we can’t— We can’t do it the same way.”
“Hey, it’s okay. There are other ways I can try to get you pregnant. Can I slip myself between your legs as I touch you?”
My heart flips, imagining Noah bursting between my inner thighs. I understand his idea now: even if he only comes against the outside of my pussy, it’s still possible I’ll get pregnant. The thought of his cum glazing my groin sends my heart into a frenzy.
I rub my ass back against his flexing cock. “Yes,” I breathe. “I’d love that.”
“I’d love that too.”
Noah’s fingertips trail over my side, whispering over my hip bone before dipping into my panties. I rock my hips into his touch, aching so badly with every flex of my core that it feels like ages before his fingers return to my clit. But instead of toying with my clit, Noah presses his fingertips into the nerve, keeping my clit in place as he gives it a rolling massage.
I exhale hard through the delightful pleasure crawling up my abdomen, my hips twisting into his touch.
Just before I hit a new depth to my pleasure, Noah’s fingers glide further. They speed into thorough, wet circles, caressing every nerve down my labia.
My hips buck as I let out a soft moan, chasing his fingertips.
But they slip out of my panties.
I look over my shoulder to find him readying his cock. My heart leaps into my throat when he tugs my panties off my ass, slipping his tip into my waistband; it really looks like he’s about to penetrate me from behind with my panties around my thighs.
As I watch him slide between my legs, I gasp through the fresh emotions coursing through our bond. We feel different than how we’d feel if he entered me, but this new blend is intense and wonderful in its own way.
My heartbeat pounds into my ears as I remember the intention behind this moment; Noah wants to father my children as much as I want to carry his pups.
My panties keep him snug against me, each press of his hips dragging his shaft along my core. A soft moan escapes me as Noah indulges in my fluids. My seeping pussy creates slippery, suckling sounds against his shaft, spiking a thrill through my chest.
Noah slows his thrusts, leaning over my shoulder to gauge my comfort.
But I’m suddenly craving so much of him that I can’t stand it.
All I have to do is arch my back, aiding his thrust, and Noah slips his hand between my legs to increase the pressure, pressing his shaft tighter against me. Slotting his cock harder between my legs, Noah passes over my clit at the end of each thrust. A luxurious moan escapes my lips.
“Good job, gorgeous Omega. You’re doing so well.”
I moan at Noah’s words, startled by the fire they ignite in me. He flexes his palm against my clit in gentle pulses, and I grip his thigh to steady myself: I’m intensely aware that we’re not wearing protection, and Noah’s breath beats harder against my cheek like he’s getting closer. My body reacts so heavily to him that an intense need to allow him to impregnate me floods the grass around us with my lusty scent.
Noah moans through it, rubbing his forehead against me in bliss, but that only makes it worse.
“Noah—” My legs pulse open as I squirm, aching for him to enter me. I know it’ll hurt if he does, so I close my legs, choosing to work him harder instead.
My mate growls as I massage his cock twice between my thighs. He nips my mark, urging a burst of fluid from my core. It douses his shaft, slickening every thrust between my legs with wet, slurping sounds.
I moan, bucking my hips back faster to hear more of it.
Noah groans against my neck. “Fuck, yes. Squeeze my fingers between your thighs for me.”
As soon as I do, I release a soft whimper; it amplifies the pressure on both my clit and his cock, my thighs encompassing his thick girth with a squeeze. I can feel how intensely pleasurable it is for Noah in our bond, warmth pooling in my belly. He softly moans against my neck, zapping excitement through my chest until each stroke between my legs sends tingles up my back.
Noah’s pumping action pulses pressure up my core, tricking my body into thinking he’s thrusting inside me. I clench at the thought, my breath rapid in warning of an incoming climax. But with my wet pussy coating his cock, I think Noah will beat me there; my mate bucks behind me with twice the force, his breath shifting into sedated groans. Not even Noah’s rapid, heavy rubbing of my clit can take me faster to the edge, his breath panicked as an intense hunger fills our bond.
“Yes—” I gasp. “Get me pregnant—”
Noah releases a heavy moan, his nose smushed against my neck as his hips press mine closer to the ground. With speeding, shaky breaths, Noah cups his hand tight against my pelvis, intensifying the pressure of his tip thumping against my core.
The tension rippling through Noah just before he comes urges my body to open for him. My core blooms wide as he pulses between my legs.
As my gaping core suckles over his tip, attempting to swallow it, Noah jolts behind me. His hips crash against my ass as his cum spills both into me and across my panties. There’s so much of it that it pools, each sharp thrust of his hips squirting his seed between my legs.
I gasp, my heart hammering like a rabbit’s as Noah’s wet heat coats my groin. I could be pregnant now.
Noah groans, his open lips mashed over my neck as his heavy breath beats over my exposed breasts. As he falls still, continuing to moan behind me, I squirm into his touch, my rampant hormones threatening a full heat.
“Fuck, I— I love seeing you feel good.” Noah can hardly breathe as he shudders behind me, panting against my neck. “I don’t need to be inside you, Omega. I love every second with you.”
“I want to carry your baby,” I gasp, on the edge of delirium. “You feel so good between my legs. I was so close—”
Noah growls, sending a thrill up my spine. “Hold still, feisty Omega. I’m not done mating you.”
I freeze in place, but I can’t stop my rapid breath. My wolf shudders along with me at the thought of our Alpha mating me with his fingers, my core flexing harder as if it’s attempting to gather more of his cum.
But before I can process what he’s doing, Noah’s fingers dip into the pool of his sperm in my panties. I gasp as his doused fingers not only crash across my labia, but circle themselves into my gaping core.
“Does this feel okay?” Noah asks.
But I roll onto my stomach, thrusting my hips into the air out of primal instinct—allowing Noah to mate me.
“There you go. What a good girl,” Noah purrs.
I can’t bear to respond, struggling to breathe through the flashing, tremendous pleasure blasting up my spine as he sinks two wet fingers into me.
It doesn’t hurt. In fact, it feels delicious, billowing pleasure up my spine and into my throat as he breeches my pelvic opening.
All I can do is moan desperately, shoving his fingers deeper. Noah uses his other hand to rub my clit, erasing all discomfort in my body as his soaked fingers bury into my core. He pulls his fingers all the way out, gathers more of his sperm, and dives back in.
“Oh, my— Oh, my God—” I moan frantically as I realize what he’s doing; he’s using his cum as lubricant, coating my insides with its slick heat to make me come.
My jaw drops as he burrows in deep. I jerk back in delight as he circles his cum over my cervix, the mental image of it sending my arousal through the roof. But he’s not done with me. Noah curls pulsing, exquisite massages against my inner wall, palpating the nerve just right to send waterfalls of tingles down my spine.
I fumble over Noah’s name on my lips as intense pleasure fuzzes out my mind. His deep massage feels so good that I fall limp, completely exposed to him with my cheek smashed in the dirt. Noah has to hook his arm around my waist to keep me upright, holding my ass in the air to pump his fingers into me. He continues to give my nerves such a tender, direct massage that I squirt with every press of his fingertips, splashing the dirt between my legs. The intense heat pulsing through me clashes with the earth’s sharp chill against my breasts, my torso writhing into the cool dirt as Noah mates me. Each breath sputters out of me in rapid, choppy bursts, carrying airy moans with it. It only encourages Noah to massage me faster, speeding into a thumping sprint against my inner wall.
As I bare my ass to Noah, my body squeezes every bit of movement out of his touch, electrified by the pleasure racing up my torso and down my legs—until it all comes crashing down. I come hard and loud over his fingers, gripping fistfuls of dirt.
Noah rapidly pats my clit through my orgasm, and my moan escapes as more of a yell with the additional pleasure it introduces.
“Alpha!” I cry into the earth. Each pat on my clit is accompanied by another curl of Noah’s fingers, making me feel like he’s mating me for the first time in weeks. I can’t stop whining, fucking myself over his hand.
“Good girl,” Noah growls. “Let yourself come as long as you want.”
He’s right, I’m still flexing over him, my mind blurred with a flood of hormones stinging my hot cheeks as my orgasm extends. When my legs finally stop jerking through pleasure, Noah’s deep prodding in my core slows, allowing my body to slow with it.
“Noah,” I whimper, quivering with aftershocks as I flop into the dirt. He tries to pull his drenched hand from me, allowing me to relax, but my body clings on. He gives my G-spot a few gentle, extra rubs instead, shooting waves of leftover pleasure through my abdomen. I slacken in absolute comfort, my toes curling as I enjoy every second of his affection.
But Noah hasn’t relaxed. His sudden, breathy moan behind my back lights up every nerve in my spine, making my swollen pussy grip his fingers tighter.
When he groans again, I look over my shoulder to find him on his knees, thrusting through his free hand. Watching me come has Noah on edge again.
Everything in me wants to help him.
But I’m covered in dirt.
There’s no way I can get up to clean my hands; I’m still struggling to catch my breath after Noah sent me to the Moon Goddess and back. But my dress is so soiled that I might as well wipe my dirty hands on it.
After using my skirt to vigorously swipe each finger, I pull Noah’s hand from my core. The second he’s free, he glazes his shaft with a combination of our fluids from his coated fingers. My core flexes, pleased by the sight.
I grip Noah’s white sleeves. “Let me help you.”
Noah shakes his head. “I-it’s okay, you don’t have to. It’s just— I love how much you trust me to be here for you,” he breathes. “I feel so close to you, especially since you trusted me enough to tell me everything.”
“Noah, oh, my God... You’re the sweetest—”
I cut myself off to knead his lips, slipping my tongue in his mouth, but he can hardly focus on kissing back; I’ve propped myself up to take over for him, working every angle of his shaft with my free hand. I give extra attention to his tip, running heavy circles over it with my thumb until Noah’s breath quivers against my lips.
He suddenly lifts my knee to my chest, exposing my pussy—before he comes all over it.
I gasp.
Then instinct takes over. I waste no time in gathering his cum in my hand, shoving it into myself.
Noah’s golden eyes widen. “Holy— Holy fuck...”
As my uterus cramps, dragging his seed deeper, I drop limp onto the dirt to get a good look at my mate above me.
I gape at him in awe, his disheveled hair silhouetted by moonlight. This sweet, shy man above me could’ve just impregnated me—and in the most unrestrained, vulgar way. I’m grimy with dirt, my soaked panties are lopsidedly stretched over my thighs to the brink of snapping, and bodily fluids coat me, but I never imagined myself feeling so beautiful. Not because Noah tells me I am, but because the pure, unwavering depth to our love makes me feel beautiful to exist. I love us just as much as I love him.
Noah is right. I feel closer to him than I’ve ever felt.
Especially when I realize his calm, gentle compassion for what I’ve been through turned our night around, fading my initial panic into pure delight.
I grip my heart through a heavy ache in my ribs. “Noah, I love you with my whole heart. Thank you for accepting me and compromising for me, even if—”
“No,” he says. “It’s not an ‘even if’ for me that you”ve been hurt before.” Noah pauses, struggling through his hesitating breath. His words come out soft and shaky. “Just l-like it’s not for you.”
My heart flips as I gaze into his vulnerable, aching eyes. Tears slip as I process what he just told me: he remembers how I told him I’d never see him differently for his trauma. From what I can see and feel, it meant the world to him that I accepted him too. Believed him.
And now that I let him in, he doesn’t see me any differently either.
Noah breathes me in, cradling my head in his palms as he catches my tears. My skin erupts in goosebumps as his lips ghost over my neck.
When his palm covers my hand over my chest, Noah whispers, “Keep holding it for me, but be gentle. You have the most beautiful heart.”
No, that”s not right. He does see me differently. He loves me more than he ever has.