16
Kelsi giggles in my lap, dabbing a bit of green paint on my cheek with a chunky paintbrush.
I gasp. “Did you do that on purpose?!”
She breaks into rambunctious giggles, her nose scrunching from how wide she smiles. I hug her closer, playfully rocking her back and forth as we laugh together.
But as Kelsi slams her back against me in excitement, I wince, repositioning her to the side. My boobs are swollen and achy today, sending a thrill through my heart despite the pain. I’m supposed to start my period tomorrow, and these PMS symptoms aren’t too unusual for me—they just happen to also be early pregnancy signs.
I’m trying so hard not to get my hopes up that I’m pregnant. And failing: I’ve been secretly prodding my breasts when I use the toilet to check if they’re just as sore.
Kelsi’s excited cry redirects my attention. I’m relieved she’s enjoying herself, especially now that I know a bit more about what she’s experiencing at home.
A week ago, Kelsi’s aunt wasn’t the one to pick Kelsi up; Kelsi’s mom stopped by for the first time. She”s struggling through the loss of her mate and on the brink of death, so she came to thank me after smelling my comforting scent on her pup.
I had no idea Kelsi was a Lycan pup either, but now I have full permission to cuddle Kelsi from her mom.
It sounds like Kelsi is the only reason her mom is still alive. I really hope she pulls through for this sweet baby.
My heart aches for Kelsi as she pauses her paint strokes. Whether she can tell I’m worried for her or simply craves more affection, she nuzzles into my shoulder, desperate for a deeper hug. I rub her back, holding her a little tighter. But it”s not enough. After checking behind me for any human bystanders, I rub my scent on her head with a reassuring purr.
“What a great job you’ve done on your painting, Kelsi! What color are you going to add next?”
Kelsi gapes at the paint pots, her grin widening by the second. I giggle, relieved to see her so happy.
But I know it won”t be the last time she”s distracted by her need for comfort. She needs a lot more physical affection than she”s getting, whining and gluing herself to other kids and teachers now that she’s growing more comfortable around us. I wish I could help her mom with babysitting after school to help Kelsi feel less alone, but that would extend beyond my boundaries as Kelsi’s teacher.
At least she seems content to be painting with me. She”s the only one whose grown-up is late to pick her up from school, and I”m trying to keep her focused. It”d break my heart if she realized she”s the only one left and felt extra abandoned.
Smashing her hand into her paint pot, Kelsi excitedly splatters bright red paint across the board.
“Oh, my goodness!” I burst into laughter, but Kelsi screams out her excitement, her voice echoing through the empty classroom.
Her sudden, magnificent force whacks paint beyond her mini easel, flicking onto the wall with a wet slap.
Which is right when the principal decides to approach.
“Oh, hello, Mr. Turner! Don”t mind our educational mess!” I put on my brightest smile, setting Kelsi down so she can keep painting. But she eyes Mr. Turner warily, gripping my pants leg with her coated fist as her paintbrush clatters to the floor.
This is like a different kid. My stomach sinks at the thought of what else she has seen. Is it just my fears taking hold, or is she extra scared around men?
“Hello, Miss Matsuoka. And how are you, Miss Kelsi?” Mr. Turner bends, his face looming over Kelsi, and she flinches.
I squat beside her with a soothing hand on her back. “We’ve been doing some incredible paintings today, Mr. Turner! Kelsi is so creative.”
Kelsi tugs on my hands. She guides me back to the easel, pointing for me to show Mr. Turner the rest of the paintings.
“Kelsi, use your words!” Mr. Turner says.
His phrasing churns my stomach, warning sirens alarming in my head.
Many of our students have various disabilities or are neurodivergent. I’ve worked all year to coax Kelsi out of hiding from what must be educational trauma, and her being nonverbal has never been the problem: it’s how clearly traumatized she is by the force and shame placed on her to speak. Mr. Turner should know better by now.
My fears are confirmed when Kelsi immediately tries to stick a painted thumb in her mouth to self-soothe.
I stop her from accidentally eating the paint just in time, then shoot Mr. Turner a pointed stare. “She’s communicating clearly, words or not. We can discuss this privately.”
He raises an eyebrow as I guide Kelsi to the sink to wash her hands.
Dammit, that just slipped out. I shouldn’t have corrected him so harshly in front of a student.
But I can’t help it. I feel protective over my little ones, especially now that I’m hoping to carry one.
I do a goofy little dance behind her, rocking us as I scrub her hands beneath the water, and Kelsi erupts into giggles. My heart melts.
Thankfully, Kelsi’s aunt arrives just in time to break the tension. We head to the parking lot. The only other occupants are a couple of teachers’ sedans, Mr. Turner’s empty convertible, and my sweet, patient mate waiting for me in his black SUV. Noah and I give each other a quick smile. It’s only as Kelsi’s aunt pops Kelsi into her car seat, freeing me of my duties, that I realize Mr. Turner still hasn’t left.
My heart drops. It wasn’t just me. Something feels off.
Everything okay? Noah asks.
I’m not sure. I’ll have to see what my boss wants. Sorry I’m taking so long today.
No worries, sweet Omega. I’m enjoying some quiet time.
My heart stings just as much as I’m relieved. Poor Noah hasn’t had a single moment to rest all week.
And I’m getting the feeling I’m about to disrupt his peace if I’m predicting the future correctly. When Mr. Turner follows me back to my classroom in silence, I’m certain I’m right, and he has something else to say. Something important.
And that’s almost never a good thing.
I smile, fighting the dread looming in my gut. “Please, come sit.”
Mr. Turner obliges, following me to the quiet reading area. We sit on child-sized bean bags with our knees scrunched to our chests—only moderately more comfortable than my toddler chairs.
“Well, I’m afraid there’s no easy way to say this, Luna.” Mr. Turner produces a letter envelope from his jacket.
It contains a pink slip. My heart drops.
“This will be your last year here at the school. I wanted to warn you a week early, almost as soon as I found out. It’s the best I can do.”
That completely blindsided me. I’m so shocked that I dig my nails into the beanbag beneath my thighs, clinging on for life. “Did I do something wrong? I thought you were done issuing these.”
Mr. Turner sighs, avoiding my eyes by wringing his hands. “The district sprung this on us at the last minute due to a vote on budget cuts. It was a surprise to me too.” He clenches his jaw, massaging his thumb joint. “And unfortunately, you’re the youngest teacher with the least experience here.”
I can’t help it; I physically deflate, fighting the rising burn in my chest.
But Mr. Turner isn’t done. “Although, I do admit your teaching style is also unconventional. That makes it a hard case to defend with the board.”
My shoulders sink, betting Mrs. Jacobs, the kindergarten teacher next door, had something to say about it.
Mr. Turner swallows hard. “I see it as wonderful, of course! I hope you and the Alpha understand.”
My abdomen cramps. So he’s only fighting for my job because I’m the future Luna? Or is it not even that, and it’s just because I’m mated to the top Alpha?
I manage to keep my composure until Mr. Turner leaves. Gritting my teeth, I power walk to the teacher’s lounge, darting for the bathroom. Mustering up all the willpower I can find, I smile at another teacher as she exits. The second I’m sure I’m alone, I burst into tears.
Aliya, what’s going on? Noah”s mindlink appears as I shut the stall door behind me.
My shoulders shake through silent tears. I got laid off.
Oh, sweet Omega... Do you need me to come give you a hug?
I cover the seat with sanitary paper, deciding I might as well use the toilet while I’m stuck here, crying. But when I slip my pants down, my heart drops to the floor.
“No,” I whimper, choking out a sob.
Oh, shit... What else just happened?
My pained weeping echoes throughout the bathroom, unable to remain stifled. I can”t bear to answer Noah.
Omega? I’m already looking for you. Where are you?
Teacher’s bathroom.
Between my hint and his nose, Noah rushes in within a minute. But I stay put, hiding my face in my stall.
Noah’s sleek black boots stop in front of my door. My heart races into my throat, wondering how much of the truth he can smell.
But his voice comes out soft and pained. “Hey... What’s going on?”
“Someone’s going to get mad at you for being in here.”
“Then let me in.”
“No,” I whimper.
“Oh. Okay...” Noah’s feet point left, then right. “Should I leave, then?”
I sigh, burying my head in my hands. “No. Please, don”t go.”
My sobs escalate, overturning my stomach in a nauseating threat. I don’t want to tell Noah why I”m upset, but I have to. But every time I take a breath to speak, nothing comes out.
Until Noah rests his back on my stall door, his voice softening. “Your period started?”
All that comes out of my mouth is another whimper.
Noah doesn’t push me to let him in this time, although I feel how badly he wants to see me in our bond.
My watery voice shakes through every syllable. “With how stressed I made myself, I feel like it’s my fault it didn’t work. I’ve felt so sick because of what he did back then, and—” I choke out a heartier sob, its raw sorrow echoing throughout the bathroom. I push through heaving breath after breath, struggling to get out what hurts the most. “I really thought it would work this time, but I let my past get in the way.”
I can barely sputter the words through a whisper.
Noah lifts his weight from the door, jostling the hinges. “No, sweet, no. Please don”t blame yourself. This is normal. Totally normal. We just started trying, and half the time we couldn’t—”
Despite how soft our voices are, we’re both aware someone could overhear us outside the public bathroom.
Noah drops his voice lower, whispering through the door gap. “You’ve been going through so much. So much. It’s not your fault.”
A sob escapes me on its own as I clean myself up, rushing to flush the toilet.
Noah’s aching heart only strains mine worse, a fresh flood of my tears spilling as I unlock the door.
When Noah sees me, his expression melts into reflected sorrow. “Oh, Goddess. My poor, sweet—”
I burrow my face into Noah’s chest as he cuddles me into his warm embrace.
“It”s going to be okay. We have so much time.”
I whimper. “Yeah... I’m just disappointed. With everything.”
Noah tucks my hair behind my ear. “I don’t know what else happened at school, but I could never imagine in my life why anyone would let you go. What else could anyone want in a teacher?” Noah pulls back, licking his thumb to scrub something off my cheek. He breaks into a sad smile. “I mean, look at you. You have paint on your face, love. You”re such a sweetheart to these kids.”
I sputter out a wet laugh, and Noah chuckles.
“And you wanted to start a daycare program, right? For our refugees? Maybe this is your chance.”
I nod, sniffling as I wash my hands.
“No matter what you do or where you go next, you’ll be making kids’ lives better—achieving your dreams. I have no doubts about that, ever.” Noah’s massive palms rub my arms and sides, his full focus on me in the mirror.
As I stare at him caressing me in the reflection, I smile, no matter how sad I am. I went from feeling alone and destroyed to aching but hopeful in mere minutes.
“God, I’m so lucky to have you. I love you, Noah.”
Noah gives a soft whine, tucking me back into his chest to kiss my head. “I love you so damn much.”
We share a soft, salty kiss. I allow Noah’s touch on my cheek to soften my tense lungs.
Noah pulls back with an excited hum. “How about you have a movie night with Amy? Weren’t you wishing you could go back to doing that together?”
“W-well, yeah, but—” I wince, guilt flooding back into my veins. “I don’t want to leave you alone after finding out that I’m not— I’m not...”
Noah shakes his head. “I’m okay. I have complete trust that we’ll have our time to be parents. I just want you to take it easy tonight, and I love the way Amy makes you laugh.”
I find myself smiling again, my heavy heart lightening bit by bit.
The second I arrive at Amy’s door, she shushes me. “I just put Lexi in her crib for the night, and if she hears you—”
Lexi lets out a soft whine down the hall. Amy shuts her eyes with an exasperated sigh. I give Amy a sympathetic smile, rushing to hang my dripping, waterproof jacket and toss off my mud boots.
We scurry to Lexi’s bedroom door, peeking in with held breaths.
But there’s no point in being quiet; she’s standing in her crib, gazing back at us with wide, excited eyes and a head full of springy curls. Within a millisecond of spotting me, she stretches out her arms.
My heart twirls. I can’t help myself, dashing for her. “Hello, my little niece!”
She gives me a wide smile, opening and closing her hands. “Annie ‘Liya!”
Her small voice is still so young that I groan from how cute she is. I lift her from her crib, planting a big kiss on her cheek. Lexi dives over my shoulder, giving me a tight hug.
Amy crosses her arms, but it doesn’t stop her from beaming at the sight of us. “Someone is supposed to be asleep, but she accidentally heard me say Auntie Aliya is coming over. She’d never miss that.”
I rub Lexi’s back, my heart gushing with love for her happy purring. “Are you kidding? I’d never miss seeing this little lovebug for anything.”
Lexi whines, and Amy sighs. “My poor baby. Being so sleepy is no fun, huh? Let’s get you back to bed.”
My heart drops. “Do I have to put her down already? Can I at least try to rock her to sleep for you?”
Amy laughs, stealing a glimpse at Lexi over my shoulder. “It looks like she’s already on her way out thanks to your sweet pheromones, so I guess you’ll have to.”
We giggle as Amy shuts the door, leaving us with only the soft yellow glow of a little full moon night light in the corner of Lexi’s room. Amy rearranges the pillows on her fuzzy rocking chair before I sit, helping me prop up my arms to comfortably nestle Lexi against my chest.
Lexi only fusses for a moment, curling against my chest with her thumb in her mouth. I tuck her curls behind her shoulder, kissing her temple as I rock us. With her sleepy limbs weighing me into the rocking chair, my pheromones explode in adoration.
This was exactly what I needed tonight,I mindlink Amy.
Amy settles on the floor beside us with her back against Lexi’s crib. Her touched grin, dimly lit by the nightlight, spurs me into just as wide of a smile.
You’re a natural, as usual,Amy says.
How has she been doing? I’ve missed her so much this week.
Amy turns away, fidgeting with a loose string on her tank top. We’ve been trying to socialize her more at the Community Center, but she’s been having even more trouble adjusting.
My stomach sinks. How so?
She still can’t bear to separate from our sides long enough to play with other pups.
Oh, no. I thought she was doing a bit better last week?
She was, but when Kira went back to work, Lexi sobbed her heart out all day, and it broke our souls. That’s why I haven’t called to ask you and Noah to babysit her alone yet. I don’t want her to feel like we’re gone too long while she’s finally forming a more relaxed attachment to us. Amy stops fidgeting, resorting to biting her nails. Plus, you seem busy lately.
My eyebrow lifts. What do you mean by that? I’d make time for you, any day.
Amy shrugs, unwilling to meet my eyes. My heart stings.
But with Lexi limp in my arms, Amy stands with me, helping to settle Lexi back into her crib. We tiptoe down the dark hall to Amy and Kira’s bedroom, keeping the bedroom lights off until we’ve safely shut the door behind us.
Amy takes off for her closet without me.
“Hey, what was that supposed to mean? Are you upset with me? Did I do something wrong?” I ask.
“Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t.” Amy’s voice is muffled by her clothes as she sorts through them.
I roll my eyes. “Okay, really though. This isn’t a compulsion.”
“Really though, if I’m ever upset, I’ll tell you when I want to tell you. That’s what we both agreed on to fight back against your OCD’s crafty mind games, right?”
I sigh. “Right.”
She turns to me with a lacy set of black lingerie. “Here it is.”
I frown. “What do you mean, ‘here it is?’ Whose are those?”
“Yours, now. Put them on. They don’t fit me, and they’re going to look amazing on your ass.”
Before I can protest, Amy slaps my ass on the way out of the closet. I burst into laughter, smacking her back. “Excuse me?! I can’t walk out wearing lingerie in front of your wife!”
“Just humor me, okay?” Amy shuts the door behind me. “You need a reminder of how badass and sexy you are, I can tell. Put them on, and send a picture to Noah. Then I’ll let you borrow that silk nightgown you always used to steal.”
I groan, but I’m smiling wide as I strip in Amy’s closet. “Fine, fine.”
Once I have the lingerie on, I gasp. I’ve never worn underwear like this before, arching up and over my hip bones to show off the curve of my thighs. Lace frames my breasts, the cups stationed extra low as if they’re daring to flash my nipples.
Amy pokes her head in. “Holy shit— See?! Okay, you’re right, my wife can’t see you in this.”
I sputter out a laugh. “When should I text this to Noah? Should I wait? What if he comes over and interrupts movie night to mate with me and we ruin your couch?” I giggle harder. “Okay, don’t answer that. That was definitely an intrusive thought.”
“Wait, no, that would actually be hilarious. Let’s prop the girls up to make it come true.” Amy’s rambunctious giggles make me laugh even harder as she helps me readjust the push-up bra until my breasts look ready to spill from the cups. “And now your hair—” Amy tousles my hair in my face before throwing it back. “Good. Now you look like you started without him.”
With my long, black hair messily flipped to over one side, I turn to the side, letting out a loud gasp. “Okay, maybe—” I clear my throat. “Maybe I do have a nice ass.”
“Girl, don’t even joke. I bet Noah can’t get enough of it.”
“Amy, stop!” I laugh. “How should I even pose?”
She rotates my hips. “Wait, twist yourself— No, with your ass sticking out— Yes!”
Amy and I erupt into laughter at my awkward pose, showing off both my pushed up breasts and the curve of my ass. She hands me my phone. “Take it, take it! I’ll hide.”
Diving into the corner of her closet, Amy laughs as hard as I do as I open my phone’s camera. My heart thumps into my throat. I haven’t taken a sexy picture for anyone in years in fear of blackmail, but I trust where this one’s headed. Now that I’m all dressed up, a spicy thrill creeps through my chest.
I stifle my smile as I gaze into the mirror, showing just my eyes over the top of my phone. Amy gasps as I lean into my pose, showing off my body.
Her whisper breaks the silence. “Girl, when he sees that pic, he’s going to straight-up come in his pants—”
“Amy—” I wheeze, breaking into such heavy, uncontrollable belly laughter that I double over onto her closet floor. Amy steals my phone from me, cackling with her head thrown back. It’s such a relief to see her having fun that I cackle with her.
But when she sees the photo, she lets out a sharp, loud gasp. “Oh, my God, yes. Send it!”
Biting my lip with bright red cheeks, I text the photo to Noah, unable to contain my nervous giggles.
Me (8:53 PM): Amy says this didn’t fit her, so you’re welcome~~~?
Nerves flutter through my stomach, but I don’t have to wait long; Noah replies within 30 seconds.
Noah (8:53PM): ducking hell. almost walked face 1st into a tree
I break into giggles, and Amy peeks over my shoulder. Her resulting laughter makes me laugh even harder, hardly able to text Noah back.
Me (8:54PM): You wrote it as ”duck” again
Noah (8:54 PM): i guess my phone thinks i like dicks
Noah (8:54 PM): DUCKS*LOL
Noah (8:54 PM): ok i mean dicks are good too but thats not waht i meant
Noah (8:54 PM): ok sorry no more talking abot dicks
Noah (8:54 PM): jus ignore me
Noah (8:54 PM): u broke my brain omega
I burst into giggles, hugging my phone into my chest as Noah’s wolf bursts into a flustered sprint in our bond.
“This is the fastest he has ever texted me—” My voice breaks through laughter, and Amy only laughs more rambunctiously over my shoulder.
Me (8:55 PM): You’re absolutely hilarious and adorable. See you in a few hours, my shy Alpha. Miss you already.
Noah (8:56 PM): miss u more, gorgeous.
Noah mindlinks me the rest. You’re so gorgeous any day that I’m surprised I haven’t had a heart attack yet, let alone when I just saw you in that. If you were expecting extra passionate sex and an extreme cuddle ball tonight, I”ve already got it scheduled.
I laugh. You cutie. Thank you, I can’t wait.
Amy grips my shoulder, her smile practically leaping off her face. “So?! I know he mindlinked you; Kira would’ve too. What did he think?”
I groan, hiding my face. “You were right, I feel sexy, and he’s super flustered still. I can feel it.”
Amy hugs me hard through her bright laugh. “Told you you’re fucking hot. Don’t let your asshole boss take that confidence away from you, okay?”
I sigh, but I’m smiling. “Okay, A.”
“Good. I’ll make popcorn while you get dressed. It’s in the same drawer.”
I laugh as Amy speedwalks to the kitchen, leaving me to steal her silk nightgown from her drawer. Maybe she’s not mad at me, after all. I already feel guilty about being too busy to visit her and Lexi this week. On top of that, Amy always sees right through me. I’ve felt too awful to want to spread my gross, trauma-soaked pheromones onto too many people I love. Amy has enough on her plate without my nonsense.
By the time I’m on Amy’s couch in her silk nightgown, she’s ready with the popcorn.
But she hasn’t sat beside me.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Listen, I wouldn’t say this to anyone else but you, but—” Amy bites her lip, wincing as she blubbers the truth with a groan. “I like how swollen your nose gets after you cry. It’s ridiculously cute!”
I burst out laughing, covering my red nose with both hands. “Amy! Do I have to teach you a preschool lesson about not making comments about people”s bodies?!”
“Oh, come on, you know it’s true! You’re the freaking cutest—I can’t stand it!”
She tackles me onto the couch, biting my arm as hard as she can until I laugh-scream.
Kira pokes her head in from the kitchen doorway. “You’re lucky our kid can sleep through thunderstorms that sound like bombs going off. Do I have to come in there and separate you two?”
“No! I’ll keep my hands to myself from now on!” Amy shouts over my shoulder, covering my ears to protect them.
Kira cackles from the kitchen, and I know she’s thinking the same thing as me.
“That’ll never happen, Amy,” I mutter.
She smushes her entire body into my side, turning the TV on as she hooks her leg over mine. “What? I’m behaving now!”
I giggle, dropping my head against hers as we scroll through an endless selection of streamable movies.
But the longer we cuddle in silence, the more my heart aches beneath the surface. I almost forgot why I came over. Now that Lexi isn’t in my arms, the pain of our unsuccessful pregnancy attempts comes flooding back.
A waft of Amy’s soothing scent makes my eyes water as she cuddles in closer, wrapping an arm over my cramping stomach.
“Did I ever tell you it took my parents two years to get pregnant with me?” Amy asks.
“Wait, really?”
“Yep. Even as an ‘extra fertile’ Omega and Alpha couple. Makes you wonder even more if Alphas are all talk, doesn’t it?”
“I heard that!” Kira says in the distance.
I giggle with Amy, swiping my tears away. “Thanks, Amy.”
She pulls away, nudging my shoulder. “Hey, don’t do that.”
My eyes widen. She’s acting like she’s joking, but I know that edgy tone. “What?”
“Don’t shut me out. I’m sick of it.”
Oh, shit. She’s super serious.
I straighten on the couch, facing her glare with a racing heart. “I’m not shutting you out. I don’t know what else to say.”
“Say what you honestly feel. I’m your best friend, aren’t I?”
My heart twinges. “Of course you are! Why would you even say that?”
“Because even though I’ve seen you recently, you’ve hardly told me anything going on with you even though I can literally smell the pain on you, Aliya. I don’t know what changed, but I’ve been worried you don’t trust me the same anymore now that I have Lexi.”
My heart sinks, not just seeing the hurt in Amy’s eyes but smelling it. “I’m sor—”
I cut myself off; Amy’s jaw flexes at my near-apology. “Just be real with me. That’s all I need. Are you jealous, or something?”
“I’m not jealous. I love Lexi to death. And I’ll admit, it did change things. But only because I’m ashamed of myself lately, okay? That’s what I don’t want to admit.” I’m surprised by how easy it was to blurt out the truth, but when Amy’s eyebrows furrow, my heart races.
“Girl, I love you, but I’m not cool with you acting like your only worth is if you can bear children.”
“I know that”s not my only worth! That’s not what I’m thinking, at all.”
I swallow hard in Amy’s silence, knowing she wants to hear more from me as my best friend. Needs to. Just like I need her to.
“I’m ashamed that I’m still letting Steven ruin my whole fucking life, Amy.” I wrap my arms around my cramping uterus, my eyes stinging. “Noah and I ran into an Omega in a horrible domestic abuse situation. I got re-triggered worse than I have in years, sex started hurting horrifically again, and it”s difficult to get pregnant if you can”t have penetrative sex, so of course I’m not pregnant. That”s why I”m so upset.”
Amy slumps. “Girl... Why didn”t you tell me?!”
I huff through hot, stinging tears. “Because! How many times do I have to make you listen to me about what Steven did?”
Amy grips my hand hard, gathering my full attention. “As many times as it takes.”
My eyes well up. “Oh, A... That’s too much to ask, no matter how much of a sweetheart you are.”
“I’m serious. You’re not a burden on me. Ever. I was there with you through the whole aftermath—”
“Which is why I don’t want to keep making you listen to my bullshit—”
“No! That’s why I want to keep listening to it. I was there before, after he left that night, and during your entire treatment, and I don’t plan on leaving.”
My lip quivers, and I shake my head. Amy whimpers, pulling me closer.
“Babe, what your ex did wasn’t just painful; it was barbaric. You and I both know Steven waited until you were vulnerable and alone after your parents died. He went and did it anyway, uncaring that it would change you. Hurt you. Most likely for the rest of your life.”
My voice comes out airy and weak. “Y-yeah. He did.”
“I”ve never expected an end date for your PTSD. I”ve supported you, even knowing you might not ever feel 100% again.”
“You have. You”ve been a lifesaver.”
“But I just wish you’d let me in enough to help you more. Otherwise, I don’t feel like a real best friend.”
I sit up, looking her straight in the eyes. “But you are my best friend, so stop denying it. I just think it’s unfair; you didn”t sign up for this.”
“Neither did you.”
My heart aches at her words, knowing it”s true.
“I did sign up to be there for you, though,” Amy says.
“But it’s not your job to help or save me. Technically, it’s my job to help you now. To protect you, as your future Luna.” I can’t bear to keep holding eye contact. “That”s why I”m ashamed. I’m claiming to be your future Luna, but I can’t even get my shit together.”
Amy shoves her hand into mine to shake it vigorously. “Girl, who the hell has all their shit together?!”
I laugh, rubbing her smooth hand in mine. “You know what I mean. You’ve always been my family when I had none, and I want to make you proud. I— I haven’t felt like someone to be proud of lately. Someone Luna-worthy.”
“So that’s why you’ve been distant?”
I shrug, dropping my eyes as I warp into ugly tears. “Pretty much.”
“Well, that’s fucked up too.”
“Amy!”
“It’s true! Are you kidding me? If surviving absolute hell and still loving someone again isn’t Luna-worthy, what is? The person you”re painting yourself as isn”t who you actually are. You”re not a monster, or a burden, or shameful.” She pulls her hand from mine, dropping her back against the couch hard with an exasperated huff. “At some point, you have to stop listening to Steven, and start listening to people who actually care about you.”
My heart stings with the sudden silence, and Amy shrinks.
She lets out a soft whimper, gripping her head. “God, I’m so sorry, Aliya... That was way too harsh.”
I clear my throat. “No, you’re right, calling myself those things does sound like him, now that you say that. That makes me sick to my stomach. I’d much rather listen to people I love dearly like you and Noah, and I could never imagine either of you saying those things about me. I’ll work on it.”
Amy rubs her forehead, hiding her face from me. I don”t want her to feel ashamed about her outburst now either. She doesn’t always say things in the gentlest ways, but I know where her heart is—and where her intense agitation comes from when it comes to me being hurt.
She also has second-hand trauma from witnessing what Steven did to me. From finding me on my worst day. I didn’t know who else to call, and walking through my broken front door to find me changed Amy forever too.
Just like I’m afraid of, my pain hurt her. But like Amy said, she would rather feel this pain than be separated from me. My heart twists so tightly with love for her that it stings.
I tackle Amy onto the couch cushions, startling a small shriek from her.
Laughing, I nuzzle her cheek. “I love you, okay? Thanks for not giving up on me, even when I’m a pain in the ass.”
“You’re not a pain in the ass!” Amy cackles, rocking me in a tight hug. “You’re just too strong for your own good. And I already know you’re always thinking about it, beneath the surface. You couldn”t even say his name until last year.”
“It’s true,” I mutter. “But now I can. I guess I’ve made a lot of progress, in some ways.”
“Good! Give yourself more credit, babe. I’m so fucking proud of you.”
I’m so flustered that I don’t know what to say. Instead, I nuzzle Amy’s cheek, my heart softening at the giggle it produces from her.
As we settle into each other, I sigh. “We haven’t even picked a movie, after all that.”
Our heads whip around at the same time at a strange noise, only to find Kira chomping popcorn in the doorway. “You’re done fighting, right? I can finally come in?”
Amy gasps. “Kira! Rude!”
Kira smirks, snatching the abandoned remote from Amy’s side. “Let’s watch that new ridiculous rom-com until Amy pisses herself laughing again.”
“Hey, it was one time!”
I burst into laughter, cuddling in as Kira and I trap Amy into an Amy-sandwich. “I guess we really did need an Alpha to come in here and make some decisions for us, Amy. Maybe the stereotypes are true, after all.”
Kira snickers. “See, Beta? Omegas are an Alpha’s best wingman.”
Amy throws her head back with a groan. “Oh, my God, shut up, both of you!”
Kira cackles, kissing Amy square on the lips until she melts into a gushy puddle.
My heart feels looser now that the air has been cleared, allowing me to soften my tense abdominal muscles. I love seeing Amy so happy.
But as the movie begins and I settle back into the cushions, my bond with Noah suddenly shifts into chaos.
Noah”s emotions gnaw at my stomach, ripping my insides into shreds as he spirals further into anger, overwhelm, and something too primal to describe.
I’m on my feet in a heartbeat. “Oh, God.”
Amy stands with me, her eyes wide with panic. “What is it?”
I grip my chest, panting through Noah’s tumbling emotions. “I don’t know. Noah feels—”
Kira is with you and Amy, right?Noah mindlinks.
I freeze. Yes, why?
I want to make sure you’re well-protected.
My stomach drops to the floor. What happened?! Are you hurt?
No, I’m not.
Noah pauses, but each second wasted holds too much weight to bear. I grip my arms, scraping every corner of my mind for possibilities of what he’s not telling me.
But thankfully, Noah blurts it out. I found that wolf stalking me again. The one you were worried about.
I grip my nightgown, gaping at Amy and Kira’s wide eyes. Before I can overload Noah with questions, he interrupts my thoughts again.
And I know his name now.