Chapter 33 – Grace
The following Saturday, I was so caught up in making sure we got every order tracked and every delivery ready for Mother’s Day the next day, that I completely forgot about my own mother until she was standing in my shop, watching me answer what felt like the millionth phone call. Even though our automated message system directed customers on how to order via our website, there were still people who needed to hear a real voice.
I walked over and let Mom wrap me in a quick hug, all the while still texting with one of our delivery guys on my personal cell and keeping the work phone to my ear as I helped a man choose between two bouquets on our website.
My brother and I looked like the Italian side of our family, especially in our coloring, but we’d both inherited Mom’s blue eyes and strong chin. Today, she was wearing pin tucked, flared black slacks and a white sleeveless blouse that looked amazing on her figure. I could only dream of aging the way she did. It would involve time, money, and know-how I didn’t have.
“Stay,” I mouthed to her. She held up a to-go bag and showed it off. Lunch from my favorite restaurant. My mom wasn’t the most attentive, but she’d always been great at gift- giving. I’d take good food delivered at the perfect time over flowers any day. And I really liked flowers.
She pointed to the back of the shop and I nodded, letting her know she was free to hang out back there until I could join her. When I finished up with the phone customer, I headed to the back room, where she had laid out lunch for both of us. A pesto chicken sandwich for me and a chopped salad for her.
“Mom, you’re the best.” I pulled up a stool and sat next to her.
She shrugged. “Happy early Mother’s Day to both of us. I’m working tomorrow, and I assume you are, too. Where’s Piper?”
“She had a basketball game this morning. Carmen took her home with her after.”
“Oh, that’s right. But I thought you said you were coaching.”
“I am. Dean’s helping me out. He’s the assistant coach.” I said it casually enough, but her mother’s intuition must have kicked in because she tilted her head at me like a detective following a hunch.
“Since when do you and Dean collaborate on things?”
“He’s a good basketball player.”
“What else is he good at?”
“Mom!”
“Sorry, sorry.” She held her hands up. “I never would have put the two of you together, but I see it now. You are both exponentially smarter than your parents. I bet he’s good to you. Henry was an excellent boyfriend.”
I palmed my forehead. “I was going to ask if this was weird for you, but now you’re making it weird for me.”
“I know, I know. I messed up your childhood. You can’t play that guilt card with me, daughter-of-mine. I’ve already filled it up.”
“I’ve made plenty of my own mistakes.”
“And when Piper’s a teenager, she’ll remind you of every one of them. ”
The work phone rang again, and I answered, giving me a momentary reprieve from our conversation. While I talked, Mom ate and then walked around tidying things. She was even more of a neat freak than I was. The second I ended the call, another came in. And then another.
Mom came over and patted my arm. “I’m gonna go.”
“Please hold,” I told the person on the line before putting the phone down. “Sorry, Mom.”
“Don’t be. I’m proud of you.”
“Why didn’t you marry Henry?”
Her eyes widened at the sudden question. “I think… I think I had decided at that point to never marry again. Nevers aren’t mature, but they feel good when you say them. I wouldn’t say never now. But at the time I had a lot going on up here.” She tapped her forehead with her pointer finger. “I needed to like me first before I could be part of a duo again. Do you know what I mean?”
“Yes, I do. Love you, Mom.”
“Love you, too.”
She walked out, and I returned to the call and then ate and got back to work, memories and questions and ideas rolling around in my head while I moved from task to task. Did I like myself? Did I know myself?
Yes, to both of those. I’d spent a lot of years hanging out with just me while raising Piper. Introverts had their flaws, but hating alone-time wasn’t one of them. Sometimes the most interesting conversations were the ones going on in my head. And yet, insecurity had sat dormant, lurking in the background. I’d held onto things Rob said about me as if they foretold all my future relationships. Like he had the key to knowing the real me, and if any other guys really got to know me, they’d feel the same way about sticking around. Why had I made him the expert?
Maybe… maybe he’d never known the real me at all. Or maybe he had, and he didn’t like my personality, and that was okay. Not everyone had to like me. It was a bummer that it was th e person who married me, but, yeah, I was overdue to let it go.
Prepping orders for the next day took so long that Carmen and Isaac took Piper to my house and put her to bed, reassuring me they were just as happy hanging out on my couch as their own.
When Dean texted and asked if he could come and help me, I sent back prayer hands. Yes, I would take all the help I could get. My part-timers had stayed for the full day, but they had weekend plans and overtime only interested them so much.
I couldn’t say I was torn up about having Dean all to myself. When he knocked, I let him in, butterflies filling my tummy when I looked into his eyes and saw he was just as happy to see me. I remembered to turn the lock, and then he was picking me up and carrying me to the counter, kissing me the whole way.
I thought I’d lose myself when we got to this point. I thought I’d lose all reason. But that was me being an undecided control-freak, and I’d finally decided. This was what I wanted. Giving Dean my trust was just another way of loving him with my whole heart.
“You are an excellent assistant.” I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him one last time.
“Please tell me I’m the only one who gets this kind of greeting when they come in.”
“Definitely just you. Ready to get to work so we can leave here at some point?”
“Yes, boss.” He gave me a hand so I could jump down from the edge of the counter, and I led him to the back, setting him up at the card printing machine. Piper had drawn the cutest picture of a child holding up flowers for a mom, and I’d shrunk it down and put it in the corner of the cards for our mother’s bouquets. Dean’s job would be to print out the cards with the message requested by the customer and match it to the orders.
Once they had their cards, I placed the finished bouquets into their slots in our cardboard carriers by location and organized them in the cooler for delivery in the morning. I’d make the next wave of orders tomorrow, once these went out.
“How did the game go?” I asked. “All Piper said was she ate Pringles chips after the game and Toby got a bloody nose. Did he get hit by another player?”
“No, he refused to play and then knocked himself in the face with his swinging water bottle.”
I laughed. “Sorry I missed that. Not that I’m happy he hit his own face. I just, really like those kids. I might even miss them when basketball season is over.”
“So, you’ll be coaching basketball again?”
“Heck no. I’ll be cheering from the sidelines. I mean, maybe one more season. If they need me.” I hated to admit I liked coaching more than I’d expected.
Dean passed by me in the small space, stopping to watch me cut stems to the right height. “Ollie’s dad said he’ll coach for us the Saturday we’ll be gone for Jessica’s wedding.”
“Oh good.” I turned and smiled. We’d be vacationing together. On an island full of small villages and lighthouses and picturesque beaches. And right now, Dean was looking at me the way Gilbert Blythe looked at Anne in the movie, like he knew something she was just figuring out. I may have done my own movie marathon in preparation for our trip.
“Have you told Jessica about us?” he whispered, tucking back a strand of my hair.
“Have you?”
He shook his head. “We should tell her together on a video call. The way we told the GoWithFriends group.”
“Only Jessica will actually be surprised.” I pulled out my phone. “We’d better do it here then. That way she won’t wake up Piper with her screams. Um, but first, could you maybe tug on a strand of my hair and call me ‘carrots’?” The ends of my hair were red. That was close enough, right?
Dean tilted his head. “Um, what?”
“Oh Dean, we need to educate you in all things Anne of Green Gables before this trip.”