Chapter 24
Addison
Mom and I pulled an all-nighter; we couldn’t sleep. Jesse has been updating the family group chat throughout the night as Ella’s labor progresses.
She went into labor early this morning and has been at the hospital the last few hours. They’re projecting the baby will be born by sunrise.
I went back and forth on telling her about Wesley and me, but I don’t want to take away from Ella having the baby. Besides, Wes and I agreed we’d tell everyone together, so I’m just going to stick to the plan.
At 4:10 a.m., the most amazing, world-stopping text comes through. My mom and I both jolt up in bed with excitement as we read it out loud in unison.
Jesse-“Cora Lee Jennings. 7lbs 9oz. 20 inches long. Born at 3:55 a.m. Everyone is healthy, and Ella’s a superwoman.”
My mom and I both start crying and hug each other; we can’t contain our excitement. Another text comes through…with a picture. It’s mainly Cora’s little face, lying against Ella’s chest, blankets over her and a soft pink hat on her head. She looks absolutely perfect.
* * *
Ella looks great, glowing, and happy to not be two weeks overdue anymore. My entire family barely fits in her hospital room.
We’re all staring at Cora in Dad’s arms. He talks to her so gently, I can’t help but nudge my mom and ask if that’s how he was with all of us.
She has tears in her eyes and doesn’t deny it.
It’s pretty special, I’m sure, to see your kid have a baby and love that baby the same, if not even more, than you did your own.
Cora starts to fuss a little. Dad is calm and he doesn’t even flinch as he passes her back to Jesse.
“You just wanted Daddy,” Jesse tells her.
Watching my oldest brother hold this tiny little human in his arms is something I can’t even begin to describe the sweetness of.
He’s so careful with her. He’s a great brother and I have absolutely no doubt he will be an even better dad.
He always took care of me in that way. He’s patient, gentle, and he always empathized with me and my anxiety the most. He didn’t understand a thing about it, but he tried to.
The amount of “rescuing” he’s done for me the last few years, when I needed to be picked up from a sleepover or gathering of any kind because I got too anxious, just shows me how much he cares about accepting me for who I am.
I swear, I used to text him to come get me and I’d hear his diesel truck pedal to the floorboard the second I got outside to wait for him. That’s how I know he’ll always be in that little girl’s corner, and Ella’s, of course.
* * *
When I get home with my parents, Mom goes up to shower, leaving Dad and me in the living room.
I’m in my head…bad. I’m so happy for Jesse and Ella, but I’m also discouraged.
I want a future like theirs so bad and I just don’t think I can see it.
I’m hung up on the silly details. Like the fact that when I have a baby, I’d have to sleep in the hospital until I was discharged.
I’ve never been able to sleep anywhere else but my own bed.
Well, I guess I did sleep in Wesley’s truck.
But that can’t count, I didn’t have a choice.
I guess I wouldn’t have a choice in the hospital either.
Maybe it would be okay. But what if I can’t even live—
“What are you thinking about?” Dad asks, looking over his book at me, like he’d been watching my brain spin in real time.
“I’m starting to get scared,” I admit, not trying to hide it. I could use some encouragement anywhere I can get it.
“Scared of what?”
“I’m scared that when the time comes, I’m not going to be able to move out of this house, away from you guys, and be on my own.”
“Addison, you’ll be right down the lane.” He gestures in the general direction of my plot of land, tilting his head at me, like I’m crazy.
“That doesn’t mean I’ll be okay. I can’t sleep anywhere else besides here.”
“I’m sure once that time comes, the transition will be fine. You’ll be excited enough.
“I guess.” I wipe away the tears that almost fall. Dad sees them though and he doesn’t hesitate. He gets up out of his chair and sits right next to me, wrapping his arm around me for a hug.
“You’re going to be fine. You have a while until you should even be worrying about that anyway.” He chuckles.
If he only knew.
* * *
Once I get out of the shower, my phone is going off like crazy. It’s Wesley sending me videos, typing “Your kids” under most of them, per usual
The first one is a brother and sister, probably no older than seven or eight, standing and singing on a porch. The girl’s got some serious sass and the brother is strumming a toy guitar in nothing but a diaper, a cowboy hat, and boots, stomping on the floor.
I find myself smiling, and I text back right away.
Me: “More like our kids.”