Chapter 15 Vaxan
~Vaxan~
I had another lead pertaining to Winter’s situation.
Just not the particular one I’d told him, Evira, and Zayn that I was researching.
The one they knew about—Winter’s issues with his feeding—was still in progress.
Unfortunately, it was dearly time-consuming, and I also had to be careful with who I reached out to, which resources I tapped, when I tapped them, and also how I went about doing so.
In essence, I had to do it in parts, so that word wasn’t put out there to anyone as to the precise nature of what I was investigating, because it wouldn’t take much to make the connection to Winter being the one I was trying to assist. And if that became the case, it would become known he was in distress, which would lead to panic about him being unstable.
He wasn’t.
He just needed help with this.
Care and understanding. Support.
The feeding situation was already a difficult enough task to see to without any of that further complicating matters.
This was something that had never existed before, and never would again, given Winter’s miraculous one-of-a-kind nature.
And, yes, I was concerned that Winter had been right—Ruxnoth may hold the only solution.
He’d clearly overridden Winter’s ability to use the lifeblood of others to make himself feel alive, to give him temporary reprieve from his death-cold state.
That also meant that he had a means stronger than the feeding.
Otherwise, how would it have been overridden in such a profound way?
Winter hadn’t divulged these specific details—due to that shame he carried so deeply…
with so much—but it hadn’t taken much for somebody like me versed with deep knowledge on a wealth of different magic systems and supernatural physiological makeups to determine that.
So, while I was pursuing that, and being driven into a state of frustration even I, as patient as I was known for being, could barely contain, I was also pursuing something else.
Whenever I’d left campus over the last few weeks, only half of my time had gone to the feeding issue, the rest had been seeing to this.
And fortunately, things were close to reaching fruition where this was at least concerned.
I rolled my shoulders as I strode out of the main building, the sun setting, meaning I didn’t have to concern myself with timing regarding my crown’s Sunveil shield.
I adjusted my black leather blazer, this one without any fancy spikes or embellishments, just necessarily plain for this mission, so I didn’t draw undue attention to myself.
I had to stop briefly to properly tuck my black jeans into my boots, as I’d rushed out. Yes, jeans. For me. I was on a mission, not looking to make an impression. Although, yes, they were of a luxurious material and design. I wasn’t a savage.
“Vax! Hold up!”
I jolted at the sound of that beautifully familiar voice.
Although, also one of my reasons for rushing.
I’d wanted to leave and return while my loves were otherwise engaged.
I hadn’t wanted to entertain more questions that I’d then have to evade or redirect.
Winter was supposed to be in his dormitory working on complex spellwork puzzles that Sylas had given him to complete before their next training session.
He wasn’t to perform them, only to rewrite the spells accordingly, then they would test his success practically during their next session.
Zayn was in his Flamecraft class. And Evira was working on her Exalt project.
I’d purposely taken a step back for a couple of the gatherings so as not to overshadow her.
She could most definitely shine on her own, but due to my seniority and being involved more deeply in the political aspect of being an heir to a formidable kingdom, I’d noticed her second-guessing herself and starting to defer to me.
I didn’t want that. She needed to shine so very brightly.
I spun just as Winter reached me halfway across the quad.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, registering the urgency all over him. It was in his mussed hair, his racing pulse, his wide eyes darting about erratically.
He sucked in a breath, trying to steady himself. “I just… you didn’t text me back.”
I’d checked my phone not four minutes ago. Since then, I’d put it on silent.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t see it,” I said, reaching out and stroking the arm of his hoodie that was shrugged on over his gray tee haphazardly, half off one shoulder, in fact.
“I just… I was asking if you wanted to have something to eat while I took a ten-minute break from all that heavy spellwork.” He winced.
“Then I… might have tracked you with Soul Track and it looked like you were leaving. You only head through the quad in this direction when you’re about to go off campus. ”
This was deeply concerning.
“Winter, I’m merely chasing down another lead.” I noted the few students milling about, and spoke carefully, “Regarding the issue we discussed at Zayn’s former home.”
“You… really?”
I frowned. “What did you think I was doing?”
“I thought you’d been called back home. Forced, actually. And that you didn’t want to tell us.”
I took his hands in mine. “I’ve told you that I won’t be summoned home, that I’ve dealt with it via texts and calls to the satisfaction of all involved. The only way I will return home will be when I wish it. There will be no orders coming down from on high to make it so.”
He looked around with those erratic, deeply stressed eyes again. “I know what you said, but after what you did… then Evira having to abdicate because of… I mean, I thought you were just holding them off and trying not to freak us out by not revealing that.”
I smiled and told him in my most reassuring and steady tone, the one that always managed to comfort him, “Those two things are not the same. The political setup and complexities don’t compare.”
His amber magic sparked and he cast an auditory reduction spell around us. “How?”
I went to speak, but then he pulled his hand from mine.
“No. I’m sorry. Don’t answer that. I’m so sorry.
I don’t want you revealing more secrets you shouldn’t.
The vibrational tracking was bad enough for you.
And the political setup of the Basilisk Kingdom is steeped in secrecy—and for good reason after what happened to your people. ”
“Winter—”
He cupped my cheek, so much urgency emanating from him. “It’s okay. Don’t say it.”
“Shh,” I crooned, laying my hand over his on my cheek. “All I was going to say is that you can find assurance and comfort in knowing that I’ve made myself indispensable to the High Empress.”
“Your mother.”
“I suppose that’s what she is also meant to be, yes.”
There was more to it than just making myself indispensable. I’d also made Winter indispensable in their eyes. And my connection to him. Along with Evira and Zayn also.
Suffice to say, my ‘mother’ wouldn’t challenge me now.
Well, more accurately… she couldn’t.
The way in which I’d had to do that, the only way that had been feasible considering my infraction—at least the way in which they’d initially seen it—just wouldn’t be received well by Winter.
Or Zayn. Evira would understand it from a political standpoint.
That sort of thing was ingrained in us both, much like the other heirs she’d recruited into Exalt.
I’d done what I’d had to in order to protect us all.
Some truths were just too unsavory to be spoken at certain times, and to certain individuals—this response from Winter being one definitive example of that.
He was deeply on edge.
A great deal of that was because he was trying so hard not to be, to not allow anything to impact him.
He was shouldering too much, but he refused to heed caution from the three of us.
I believed some of it would taper off once he got a little further along in his training with Sylas. That wouldn’t be long now.
“Okay,” he breathed. “I hear you. I do now you’ve said that. I really do.”
I smiled out at him. “I’m glad, beautiful.”
He nuzzled against my hand.
Then a little moan escaped him and he told me, a lot calmer, “If you were going to leave as I initially thought, I rushed out here because I needed to… I had to tell you something, especially if you were gonna be away for a while.”
I arched an eyebrow. “What’s that?”
He drew in a steadying breath and eased his hand from mine on my cheek, then grasped my hips, stroking softly. “I… I wanted to say. I mean, I wanted you to know… I…” His gaze locked on mine and there was so much reverence there, so much adoration, that it had my breath catching. “Vax, I love you.”
I went rigid.
The shock of his confession was such that I couldn’t reconcile it.
No one had ever spoken those words to me.
No lover—there hadn’t been anyone before him, then Zayn and Evira.
Not my parents either.
Not once.
No one.
And now there was this.
Him.
My pulse pounded in my ears.
A warmth that wasn’t temperature-induced in the least beset me.
I blinked, then stared out at him, deep into his eyes, and I realized it wasn’t just shock delaying me offering an outward reaction.
It was me yearning to capture this moment forevermore.
To never ever let it go.
“You came into my life at a time when I was heartbroken, shattered, and on the verge of withdrawing entirely,” he told me softly.
“And you breathed something back into me. You saw me and you worshipped that—the good and the bad, the levity and the intensity. You pulled me back from the edge. You showed me so much care.” He smiled.
“You kept me in the light when I was headed for the shadows.”