Chapter 17
KNOX
W alking helps. I know that from other times when I've been injured in the line of duty, but motherfucker it hurts.
It took everything I had not to let Beth know I was in pain when I saw her at what others call the cafeteria.
Leaving that building, I take a right, going toward the cabin little home that she and I have been given.
It’s a cozy one bedroom cabin, with the option of adding on, should we need to. It’s nothing like the houses we left behind in Beaver Dam, but it’s comfortable. We’ll be able to stay here, and grow, if we so choose. Since I’ve been nomadic for so long, I’d love to put down roots.
"You sure you're good to stay here?" Ryker asks as he falls into step beside me. "I know it's probably more than what you wanted to do."
"I'm perfectly fine to stay here. What I wanted was to build a community, and it looks like y'all have gotten a very good start here."
"It's not been easy," he admits. "Had to force some people out in the beginning who weren't interested in the whole community aspect."
I can just imagine. Being by myself for so long, I saw what this way of life did to a good portion of people who couldn't handle it.
Many of them turned mean, for no reason, other than they could without repercussions.
"I'm glad you did. People like us need a place to be.
By the way, follow me to the cabin. I have something Beth and I were asked to give you. Should've given it to you a while ago."
He chuckles. "Pretty sure you had some other shit going on." He gestures to my side.
"I did."
We walk toward the cabin, and when we get there, I go around to the back where the Jeep is parked.
There aren't many vehicles here, but no one has asked me to use this one yet.
I'm waiting, and I'll gladly give someone permission.
That's the one thing I love about this community.
It's actually that. Opening the door, I carefully reach in, and stretch so that I can open the console, and grab out the envelope.
"On the way here, we ran into a man that said he was your father.
He gave me this to give to you." I hold up the piece of paper.
"I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to make that delivery. "
"It's okay," he says, gazing down at the front of the envelope. "You were kind of fighting for your life."
I'm not sure what I expect from Ryker, but it's not what I get. Instead of ripping the paper open, he runs his fingers along the writing on the front. "I haven't seen my dad's writing in a long time," he scoffs, as if he doesn't know how to react.
I stand quietly beside the Jeep while he turns the envelope over and over in his hands. Ryker has never been the type of man who shows much emotion. You can’t be a Sheriff and not have a strong hold of yourself.
But right now, standing in the afternoon light looking at his father's handwriting, some of that hard exterior slips just enough to show what's underneath it.
His jaw works hard for a second. "He's alive," he says, amazement in his voice.
It isn't a question exactly, but it isn't quite a statement either.
More like a man who is trying to come to terms with something he never thought was possible.
"He was," I tell him gently. "When we saw him. He was on horseback, heading back north. He said he couldn't leave." I pause, choosing the next words carefully. "He mentioned your mom is sick, Ryker. That's why he couldn't make the trip himself. He needed you to know what's in that envelope."
Emotion moves across his face, it’s a lot like fear. Then he straightens, his thumb sliding under the seal of the envelope. "Thank you," he says, his voice back to even. "For carrying this all the way here."
“You’re welcome. And if you need anything, please let me know.”
He nods, but turns away as he takes the piece of paper out of it.
I watch him until I can’t see him any longer, before heading into the cabin that Beth is working hard to make a home.
She's found a few things to hang on the walls, along with some blankets and a few of our personal belongings we carried with us.
It still isn't what we had in our homes before Eruption, but this feels like home.
More than anything else has since the world went crazy.
I'm waiting for Beth to get home. I'm getting bored of not being able to help around the place the way I want to, but I know that I have to let my body heal. If I don't do that, I'm going to be no help to anyone else.
I ease myself down onto the edge of the bed.
It's something I didn't think I'd have again.
A real one, with a metal frame and everything, that two of the guys here helped us drag into the cabin from one of the nearby buildings.
While I'm sitting here, I look at all the other things Beth has done to make this place comfortable.
A small shelf she'd asked one of the other residents to help her hang, holding the few books we'd picked up along the way and the little bag of toiletries that I've come to associate with her almost as much as her laugh.
One of her hair ties is looped around the door handle.
An extra pair of her boots standing side by side near the entrance, waiting for her to use them.
Somewhere from the moment we met each other to where we are now, things got serious. Much more serious than I think either of us meant to happen. Which is why she and I need to have a conversation today.
Beth’s boots on the steps wake me up from the light sleep I fell into.
I didn’t believe that I would memorize someone else’s footsteps the way I had with Maple.
A part of me didn’t think I’d ever have a woman in my life again.
But there’s another part of me that knows it wouldn’t ever be just any woman.
Beth is the exception.
She comes in with a tired smile on her face. Her cheeks are flushed from working in the cafeteria with pieces of hair coming down around her neck. Even though she saw me earlier, she’s used to seeing me lying down once she comes in for the day.
Today that’s different. She stops when she sees me sitting up, and the smile that crosses her face is one of pure happiness.I've decided it's my favorite thing.
"You're looking better," she says, toeing off her boots next to mine by the door. A little piece of domesticity that we’ve fallen into without even realizing it.
"I told you earlier that I feel better." I watch her move through the small space, setting down the cloth bag she carries, rolling her shoulders back.
"Beth." Something in my voice makes her turn and look at me fully.
I gesture to the spot beside me on the bed, and she comes and sits without hesitation, close enough that our knees touch. "Ryker came to find me today."
She tilts her head, a slight fear in her eyes as ours meet. "Everything okay?"
"More than okay." I turn toward her, grabbing her hand with mine. "He asked us to stay. Not just until I'm healed up and we figure out the next move. Permanently. He wants us to be part of Cumberland Crossings, Beth. He's building a real community, and he wants us in it."
She's quiet for a moment, her eyes moving over my face. "What did you tell him?"
"I told him I'd talk to you first." I squeeze her hand, turning it over in mine.
"But I know what I want. I want to stay.
This place, what they're building here, it's exactly what I spent the whole trip down here hoping existed.
" I pause, making sure she's hearing all of it.
"And I want you to stay with me. Not as my travel partner, not as the woman who shares my Jeep.
With me, Beth. All the way." I feel her hand tighten around mine before she even says a word, and something in my chest that has been tight for a very long time finally lets go.
"I know it's fast," I say. "I know we've only had a handful of days, but when you’ve lived through what we’ve lived through, days are like years. Even if they are hard."
The corner of her mouth curves. "They really are."
"But I'd take every one of them again to end up right here." I look at her steadily, my heart in my damn throat. "So what do you say?"
She sniffles, and I'm terrified that I've done something wrong for a second, until I see the smile on her face. "I'd love to stay here with you. I'd love to see what we can build here."
"It's not going to be easy, Beth. Might be even harder than what we've done leading up to this. There will be people who challenge us, and if this becomes successful, others will be gunning for this community. It could get dangerous."
She lets out a watery laugh. "Like the last four years haven't been dangerous, Knox? I mean I think we know what danger is at this point. The question is, do we want to live it together?"
"I want to live it with you."
"I want to live it with you too." She stops for a second, rolling her lips together. "When I watched you get stabbed, there were many feelings that coursed through my body. Fear was one of the biggest."
Reaching over, I cup her cheek in the palm of my hand. "I'd never let anything happen to you for as long as I could help it."
She leans into the touch. "I know all of that, but the one thing that kept me up every night watching you while you sleep since we moved in here, has been the fact that you could've died.
You could've died before I told you how much you mean to me.
I know it's quick, I know the world is a crazy place, and I know there will be forces at work who may not want us together at some point.
But what I know more than anything, Knox?
I love you. I've maybe loved you since I watched you on the football field in high school.
" She stops for a second and takes a deep breath.
"Actually that was an infatuation. You were hot, and I was a teenager with hormones.
I didn't know what the deep appreciation for another human who knows you better than you know yourself meant.
I do now, and I want to spend however long we have left together. "
I groan deep in my throat, and lean forward, taking her in my arms. "God, I was so worried you wouldn't feel the same way I do. I love the shit out of you, Beth. You get me more than anyone else in this world, and I can't wait to make a life here with you."
We hold one another in the silence of our little home, and I can't help but think we're right where we're supposed to be.