Chapter 18
BETH
M y favorite moments with Knox are when we're together.
We don't even have to be alone. Like tonight, we're heading out to a bonfire they have set up in the community.
They've been doing it almost every night since we got here, and it's something I look forward to.
"Are we joining the bonfire tonight?" I ask as we lay together on the bed.
"Do you want to?" Knox tucks his chin into my neck, and plants a soft kiss there. His voice is full of sleep, and I know if we don't get up soon, he'll be out for the night.
"I'd like to, if that's okay with you?"
"You know if you want to do it, then we will."
I learned very quickly not to question that.
I wasn't necessarily used to being able to do whatever my heart desired.
I'd spent so much time after Eruption caring for my family.
They'd been sick, and all I wanted to do was to give them the best I could at the end of their lives, although it was the end of the world.
But Knox? He wants to give me everything.
And in turn, I want to give it to him, too.
"I do, so we need to get out of bed and head out there. "
He groans. "It feels so good to lay here though."
I snort. "You and I both know if we keep laying here, you're either going to go to sleep, or we'll get naked. While I love the getting naked option, I do want to see our new friends."
It feels weird to say that we have friends. Both of us have spent so much time alone, I know it causes a twinge in his chest too. After so long of having no one else to count on, the hope I feel for Cumberland Crossings, which is what we've decided to call this place, is immeasurable.
"Okay, okay. I'm getting up. Let me put my shoes on."
It doesn't take him long, and then he grabs my hand, and together we walk out to where they've already started the bonfire. The fire is already crackling and warm by the time we make it out. The orange and gold flames licking up into the dark night sky. At one point I would’ve been terrified to have a fire, worried that it would bring people around who wanted nothing more than to hurt us. Now that we’re here?
I can let some of that guard down. It’s hard, but it feels as if we can live again.
Even in a world that looks light years different than the one we grew up in.
A handful of the thirty or so people who make up the community are already out there. Some are sitting on logs, others are on the ground. I recognize some of the faces now, since we’ve been here, and have been working alongside our fellow community members.
Ryker is here, standing next to Maple. She laughs at something he says, and I have to wonder if there’s a little flirtation going on between them. Knox squeezes my hand, and I squeeze back.
“Did you think we’d be here right now? When we were on the road, coming to Nashville?” Knox questions, letting go of my hand, and tucking me in next to him by putting his arm around me.
“No, I had hopes,” I shrug. “Hopes about what it would look like when we got here, but this has far exceeded those expectations. I think we have the option of making a very good life here, Knox. Don’t you?”
He's quiet for a moment, and I've learned that about him too. Knox doesn't answer questions he hasn't thought through fully. He's not the kind of man to give you an easy answer just to have one.
So I wait, watching the fire dance while he thinks this all through.
When he finally speaks, his voice is low, meant only for me.
"Yeah," he says, and there's a roughness to it that tells me he means it more than that one word.
"I think we can." He presses a kiss to my temple, lingering there for just a second longer than necessary, and I close my eyes and let myself feel it. The warmth around me, both the fire and Knox’s arms around my body. “What are you thinking?”
Turning my face to his, I push back sudden tears that have sprang forward. My words are watery when I speak. “I’m thinking that most of us assumed this would be the end of the world. Eruption would ruin and end it all. But what if it didn’t?”
“What do you mean?” He tucks my hair back behind my ear.
“What if all of this, is just the beginning? What if instead of letting ourselves be buried, we rise from the ashes?”
He smiles, showing those straight teeth of his. “I think that would be the biggest fuck you to the world who wanted us gone, and the best memorial we could give to the people who didn’t make it.”
Smiling back, I lean in and kiss his lips. “I think so too.”
Instead of getting buried, Cumberland Crossings will rise from the ashes, and with it, so will those of us who refuse to give up.
Because that’s exactly what we do when things get rough.