Chapter 13
thirteen
Denver
I don’t even know what I’m playing at telling her she has me in a chokehold. Deep down I want her to know exactly what effect she has on me, but I know that’s risky.
Risky because I can’t be all in. Not with her.
“You have me in a similar position, if I’m being honest,” she whispers.
Not sure I’m ready for this conversation, I distract her by yanking her up off the bed.
We end up showering, and it’s a new experience for me. I’ve only ever showered alone.
Of course, watching her use my bodywash as she lathers the soap all over herself makes me hard all over again.
She pinned her hair up because apparently my shampoo would make her hair fall out—I only use the cheap, grocery store stuff—but it doesn’t stop me gripping it when she starts fondling herself a little too provocatively.
“You keep doing that, and I’m gonna fuck you in this shower.”
“Duh, that is actually the point.”
I grin and she grips my cock with one hand, sliding it up and down as I groan.
You’d think we’d be spent after what we just did, but around her, I’m like a horny teenager all over again.
I can’t get enough. She fondles me while I cup her tits, our breathing becoming more intense as I shift to grab another condom and she stops me.
“I’m on birth control.”
I stare at her, my hand hovering over the shower door. “Babe, you don’t have to do this.”
“I’ve always made a guy use one, not that there’s been that many.”
Somehow that makes me feel better. “I’ve always used one too, and it’s been six months.”
Her eyebrows pique. “Ooh, and I thought you were such a player.”
“You can blame Gage or JJ, my lieutenants, for overworking me. There’s been little time for play.”
“Well, aren’t I the lucky recipient?” She grins, working her hand up and down my dick as I lean back against the glass.
“Only if you’re sure.”
“I want to feel you, D. All of you.”
There’s something in her words that tugs to the heart of me. If I’m being honest, I want that, too. I want to be buried balls deep inside her with nothing between us. It feels like the most natural thing in the world.
I slide one hand up her body, through the center of her tits and hold her by the throat, while my other hand is at her hip, keeping her in place. “You know if I fuck you raw, that’s it.”
“That’s it? As in…”
“As in you’re mine, Adi. I’m not gonna beat around the bush. I meant what I said before.”
“You were distracting me from getting inside your head, weren’t you?”
I give her a guilty look. “I’m not great at expressing how I feel, I never have been.”
“That’s okay, what’s important is you’re willing to at least try.”
“Says she who’s stroking my cock while trying to get information out of me.”
She grins broadly. “Two can play at that game.”
I tilt her chin so her eyes lock on mine. “You’re right about that.” I lean forward and kiss her hard, all tongue, my hand tightening around her throat, the other gripping her breast. “You’ve also got no idea what you do to me, do you?”
She shakes her head. “Nope, but I’m not complaining.”
I hitch her leg over my hip, then cup her pussy. “Still so ready for me, aren’t you?”
“I’m always ready for you,” she breathes.
I finger her for a minute or so as we kiss. She’s had my cock already, but she’s tight and we did fuck hard, so I don’t want to be as rough as I was. “Are you okay?”
She nods. “Of course.”
“I’ll go slow this time. I’m not always rough.”
“I like it rough. I really, really like that chair. I’m gonna have visions of me riding your face for the rest of my life.”
“Ditto.” I hiss when she tugs on my balls. We’re fondling each other and I know she’s close.
Her cheeks pinken, and her hand cupping me squeezes harder as her eyes close.
“Open,” I demand. “I want to see you when I make you come.”
Her eyelids flutter open and I brush her clit with my thumb as I pump her slowly in and out with two fingers. “So good, D, just like that, don’t stop, don’t stop.” I ride it home until she’s squeezing my fingers and my dick is more than ready.
I push her back slightly, then hitch her up as she gasps in surprise.
“I’m too heavy,” she admonishes, but I shut her up with a brutal kiss.
When I pull back, I say, “You’re light as a feather. Wrap your legs around me, that’s a good girl.”
I hold my dick at the base and slide in slowly. She cries out, bracing herself on my shoulders.
I pump my hips in and out slowly as I press my palms onto the shower wall.
“So b-big,” she stammers. “So fucking big.”
“It’s all yours, baby girl. Only yours.” I don’t know how we got to this point so fast, but we did.
I’ve never really had the feeling of rightness, and it isn’t just about the sex, as amazing as it is.
The feeling that I could spend my life with someone is something new. Even the relationships I’ve had weren’t ever like this—with my heart and soul. I’m working out a way to tell Daryl I want to date his sister and then convince him I’m the right man for her. There is nobody else for me.
“W-what?” she mutters.
“Huh?”
“You just said: there is nobody else for me.”
Shit. I just said that outloud?
“I didn’t realize I did,” I pant, loving how tight she feels.
“Do you mean it?”
Our eyes lock. “Yes. I’ve never said that to anyone before, never felt it like this, Adi.”
She smiles. “That just makes this all the more special.”
“Not gonna last with you looking at me like that.”
“Quitter.”
I grin, amping up the pace, but still being mindful not to be too rough. She squeezes me so tight and then her head tips back and she lets go. I follow behind, stilling as I empty myself for the first time inside a woman.
Adelaide is pure perfection.
“Geez, woman, you’ll be the death of me,” I pant, kissing her neck.
“I guess this is what they mean by rinse and repeat?”
We both burst out laughing.
I can’t say I’ve had too much to laugh about these last few months.
Work can be stressful a lot of the time. It doesn’t get any easier turning up to car wrecks or burning buildings knowing you can’t save everyone.
She brushes my hair back. “D? Are you okay?”
I nod. “I’m fine. Just a tough week.”
There was a car crash before I finished my shift and… shit got real.
“You know you can talk to me about anything.”
I pull her back under the water, not that I want to clean myself from her body and our combined sweat, but that’s the whole reason I pulled her into the shower in the first place. I begin to wash her again, liking this new ritual.
“Sometimes the job doesn’t always come with a happily ever after.”
Her face softens. “You must see a lot.”
“I do. Pulling bodies from cars isn’t what I imagined when I signed up, but those are parts of the job that you don’t realize when you go into rescue.”
“Did you lose people this week?”
“We lose people every week, but it hits harder when it’s kids.”
Her eyes gloss over. “Oh, D, I’m so sorry.”
I swallow. “There was a car wreck a few days ago, a bad one. I was one of the guys pulling bodies out of a mini-van. You’re trained to be tough, to get on with the job, but we’re human, too, and parts of this job stink.”
She cups my face. “I think what you do is so fucking brave.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know about that.”
“How do you deal with it? The losses?”
“You just have to try and put it out of your mind or you send yourself crazy. We have access to some amazing resources, but guys will be guys. I’ve had therapy before, but some of the men I work with won’t because of preconceived notions.
” I shake my head. “For me, it helps me manage mental challenges like PTSD, anxiety, and depression. In our line of work, it’s not uncommon to fall victim to the barrier—the one that makes us fear reaching out because it’s not manly, or career wise the Cap may think we’re not up for the job.
Luckily, I have an amazing team, well except for Gage, he’s an ass. ”
She smiles softly, pecking me on the lip. “I think you’re the bravest person I know.”
“You put me on a pedestal I don’t deserve.”
“You did rescue me from a burning building, I think that gives me reason to be very fucking proud of you. If not for you, I may not be here today, D.”
“I think about that night all the time.”
“What does it bring up for you?”
“The panic of potentially not being able to get you guys out. Daryl’s face at the window and him trying to pass Sammy out so he could go look for you and Carrie.”
“You were so young,” she says, tears welling in her eyes. “To do what you did.”
“Well, my parents weren’t happy with me.” I chagrin. “But I’d do it all over again if I had the choice.”
“I know you would.”
“And I guess it kinda instilled a deep fear of losing someone I love, not necessarily in a fire, but in general. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so closed off in relationships, unable to really connect with someone.”
Adi looks at me like she’s looking into my soul. “You’re doing great.”
I smile despite myself. “I keep a lot inside.”
“I know that, and you don’t have to. I’m strong, I can take it. If you need to get something off your chest, I can listen.”
I nudge her with my hips. “Thank you. I appreciate that. Sometimes when I’ve been with other women they think they’re getting the big, bad ass firefighter, but I can’t be that all day every day. I need normalcy, too. But normal is boring, according to some.”
“No, it isn’t. Normal is perfectly understandable considering what you do for a living. I get that, really I do. They want the image,” she says. “They have an idea of what they think being with a firefighter is, but they have no clue.”
“I can’t say I made it easy to be with me, with my hours and shit.”
“You’re way too nice, but Hannah? Seriously?”
I chuckle. “You won’t let that drop, will you?”
“I’m just glad you came to your senses. Women like her can suck the soul right out of you.”
“I would never let that happen.”
When I finish attending to her, I wrap her in a fluffy towel and then quickly dry myself off. We climb into bed and I pull her body close to mine so we’re spooning. I feel content. For the first time in my life I feel like I could really do this. What’s more? I want to do this.
“Thank you for sharing some of that with me,” Adi says, snuggling her butt against me.
I kiss her hair. “Get some sleep.”
She yawns. “You took every last bit of energy I had.”
“I’ll wear that badge with pride.”
“You should.”
She falls asleep fast. I can tell because her breathing changes to a soft lull.
Any preconceived notion I had about committing has gone completely out the window.
I’ve never been opposed to it, and I’ve had long-term relationships, but I meant what I said before.
None of them felt like this. Maybe it’s because we have history, or that I love how full of life Adelaide is every time I see her.
She’s bubbly, smart, sexy, and now she’s in my arms.
I don’t want to let her go, and I won’t. I’ll figure it out. I’ll make Daryl understand. What happened just happened. Neither of us had any control over it.
If Adi thought this was a one and done, she’s sadly mistaken. I want her, and I’m gonna stop at nothing to make her mine.