Chapter 14
fourteen
Denver
Two days earlier
“You okay?” JJ asks as I run my hands through my hair.
I finally meet his gaze. “Yep.”
“Not convinced.”
I thought the common room being empty meant I could just sit for a second, but obviously not. JJ isn’t usually the most verbose man in the room, and keeps things to himself, but he has a big heart. “You did good today, I mean that,” JJ says.
“Thanks, LT.”
“Shit never gets easier.”
“No, it doesn’t,” I sigh. “It hits harder when it’s kids.”
“Take all the time you need.”
I give him a chin lift as he goes.
A few moments later, I hear two sets of footsteps. JC and our paramedic, Jake.
My eyes meet Jake’s but neither of us speak.
“You know we can’t win them all,” JC says, trying to break the mood.
“Know it,” I reply curtly. “But this one just hit home for some reason.”
“Probably because two kids died, plus the mom didn’t make it,” Jake says, shaking his head.
I look up. “No fucking way.”
Jake nods.
“She seemed okay—”
“Internal injuries. Grandma was dead on impact. The surviving kid is now an orphan, can you believe that? I don’t even know what to fucking say.” Jake is clearly having a hard time with it, too. He worked on her all the way to the hospital.
“Fucking sucks,” JC agrees. “The truck driver was shaken up. I feel sorry for the poor bastard. The car just made a bad decision, costing them their life.”
I slam my fist into my palm. “Why didn’t she just wait?”
“Because people don’t,” JC sighs. “So many factors at play. Could’ve been a blind spot, maybe she thought she had more time or didn’t calculate how fast the truck was going.”
So many dumb fucking reasons.
I can’t stop seeing the lifeless body of the boy I dragged out of the wreck only hours ago as the memory comes back…
“Marco and Denver, you’re gonna be on the vehicle extrication,” JJ says. “Stabilizing the caravan is gonna be a challenge because of the way the car folded in. It’s on its side, making the extractions more difficult. JC, you’re gonna assist Denver with the jaws of life.”
We’re on our way, being debriefed by our LT, and a cold shiver runs over my spine.
“What the fuck happened?” JC asks.
“A car pulled out and into the oncoming path of a truck. He couldn’t stop in time,” JJ replies. “It’s gonna be ugly, kids inside the car, so you need to brace.”
And he wasn’t kidding.
Once we make it across town and to the freeway, we do our usual checks, then I stabilise the car at the scene with wedges.
I check for any signs of leaking, but as the front end is entirely smashed in, disconnecting the battery is gonna be impossible.
It’s a wonder the car didn’t explode. It definitely rolled a couple of times. It’s a miracle anyone is alive.
As the car is on its side, we can’t get in through the roof. JC and I cut through the side door, and the carnage inside is hard to stomach.
I clench my jaw, assessing the situation.
“Ma’am,” I say, when I see the woman in what used to be the front driver’s seat. She’s bleeding from her head. “I’m Denver, this is Jasper, we’re here to get you out. What’s your name, sweetheart?”
“My babies!” she cries. “Please, oh my God, please!”
I glance to the rear to find three kids, two aren’t moving.
“Mom!” She tries to reach out to the person slumped on the other side, but she can’t move. “I’m begging you… Help, please help us!”
“Try to stay still. I’m gonna check on the kids first, then get you out, okay? What’s your name?”I try again.
“S-Sally.”
“Okay, Sally, just hang tight, my buddy is gonna help with the kids, then get to you so the EMS team can get in, alright? We have two ambulances on standby.”
“Please, please tell me they’re okay? Tell me they’re okay!”
I tune her out, I have to. I shift, JC standing by as I climb in and feel the first kid’s pulse. He’s already gone. I move across to the girl next to him with no signs of life. She’s gone, too. I look up to JC through the gap and shake my head. Jesus fuck.
Three kids. She said three.
Blue eyes look at me from the corner, tear stained and bloodied, but she’s alive. The kid is miraculously balled up into one corner, the seatbelt still tugged around her. She can’t be more than five or six. “Here,” I say. “Give me your hand, sweetheart, I’m gonna get you out…”
My mind flicks back to the present.
“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this any more,” I say. “Today was fucking rough.”
JC looks at me with concern, crouching down. “It always feels like this when we have a bad day.” He grips me on the shoulder. “Take some time, get your head together, bud. We’re here for you.”
“Appreciate it.”
Jake palms the back of his head, thumbing toward the showers. “I’m gonna get cleaned up, if you wanna talk later?”
I nod, letting the two of them leave. They know to leave me when I’m like this.
The kid’s name who survived is Hope. Seemed kinda fitting. She’s gonna need all the hope she can get to survive these next days, weeks, and so on. My heart breaks for her.
It’s just another day on the job. Another day where I get to think about all the things that I couldn’t change. If we’d gotten there sooner, if we’d have gotten the mom out first… But Hope was right there in my grasp, and she’s okay. That means something. I saved her…
“Denver?” Adi’s voice wakes from my sleep. “Are you okay?”
I blink, her pretty face coming into view.
“Shit, I was dreaming.” But all of it was real.
“You were calling out for Hope?”
“Fuck,” I mutter, sitting up.
“Who is Hope? You seemed so distressed.” She soothes my back with her palm and it’s then I realize the bed sheets look like a tornado.
“She’s the… the kid I saved, her siblings, mom, and grandma all died.”
“Holy shit, D, and you didn’t say anything?”
I blink, then shift my gaze to her. “This,” I say pointing to me and her. “This wasn’t a distraction, I promise. I admit I was trying to take my mind off it—”
“You don’t ever have to explain to me, you hear me?” She presses her head to my shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“It never gets any easier.”
“You should have called me, I could’ve done something.”
I smile softly. “I never want to burden you with any of this, it isn’t right.”
She shakes her head. “I come from a long line of survivors, D. We’re tough. Okay, maybe that gene skipped Daryl,” she laughs. “But I’m here. No obligation, just as a friend.”
“Thank you.”
“Can you visit the girl? In the hospital?”
I glance at her. “We can. I don’t usually, but under the circumstances, I think it would be good. I don’t know for sure though about Hope, she’s traumatized enough. I don’t want to add to it.”
She presses kisses to my cheek. “I want to help.”
“You do help, just by being here.”
I think about her words. I should go and see the child. After this, she’ll be going into child services, and then who knows where. I shudder at the idea. Those big, blue, innocent eyes as she took my hand so trustingly. I pulled her out of the wreck and she asked me to get Duckie.
I didn’t know who that was until I saw the duck on the backseat between her siblings. I grabbed it and she cuddled it close to her chest. That could be what broke me right there. That she knew, somehow, that she’d be needing that damn duck.
“I don’t usually let things get to me,” I say, my voice barely a whisper. “But this child witnessed her siblings being pulled out of the wreck. Her mom—alive at the time—and her grandma. Everyone gone in the blink of an eye because Mom made a bad decision. Now what happens?”
“I don’t know. But what I do know is you care so much about people,” Adi says, her voice soft and warm. “That’s one of the things I love about you, what I’ve always loved…”
I glance up as she doesn’t finish the sentence, a hand sliding over her mouth as if she’s only just realized what she said.
I tilt her chin up. “You love me?”
She bites her lip, unsure if she should say it again, but I want her to.
“Adi?” I encourage.
“I’m sorry, I know I’m not meant to say things like that!”
I don’t hesitate, I cover her mouth with mine, my kiss passionate and all consuming.
“I love you, too,” I whisper when we break away. “I always have.” I wrap my arms around her as she folds hers around my waist.
“I think we just went way past complicated,” she sighs.
I chuckle. “If this is complicated, bring it on.” I pull her closer. “This was never just about your body, Adi. Though, I’m not complaining you let me spoil you.”
I haven’t even begun to show her the level of spoiling she’s going to get yet.
“Denver, I know I don’t know you, but I feel as if I do.
I know this is just sex, I felt it from the first time you walked me home.
We had a connection, we just fought it because we thought Daryl would be mad,” she says.
“But we can’t worry about what my big brother will say. It won’t change your friendship.”
“No, it won’t because we’re always gonna be open and honest with each other. No matter how hard those words may seem.” I press my forehead to hers. “I have a lot to work on in that department, but I’m willing to try if it means I get to have you.”
“Well, I think I can live with that,” she giggles, pulling her arms tighter around me. “If you can?”
“I’m a work in progress,” I say. “But you bring out the best in me, you make me want to do better. I can see a future with you. I’ve never had that before.”
She smiles, her eyes soft and kind. “I always thought I was kinda closed up for business,” she admits. “My ex hurt me really bad, not that I want to talk about him, but sometimes I hold back, too. And it’s only because I’m afraid of getting hurt again, or worse… not being seen.”
I kiss her on the side of the head. “He clearly didn’t know what he was doing if he threw you away so easily,” I mutter into her hair. “I want you to know I see you, Adi. I see every single glorious inch of you.”
“Thank you, D. I appreciate how sweet you are. Even if we’re really in a pickle now.” She presses her lips together. “We haven’t even gone out on a date yet and we’re at ‘I love yous.’”
I grin, unable to stop kissing her. “I should take you out on a proper date. That slutty little dance you did for me ain’t gonna cut it. I need to feed you first.”
She thumps me on the arm playfully. “I think I like you taking charge like that. I thought you were gonna rip that guy’s head off.”
“Yeah, well, lucky for him he took the hint.”
“So macho.”
I roll us so she has her back on the mattress, her head against the pillows as I slide over the top of her. “It was love at first sight for me, as corny as that sounds.”
She wraps her arms around my neck. “There is nothing corny about a man expressing how he feels. In fact, I find it extremely sexy.”
“So, I should do it more often?” I pump my eyebrows.
“Shut up and kiss me.”
And I do, for the rest of the night.