Chapter Five #4
“I think from the time I was very young, I wondered why those cameras didn’t see what they should have.
How they didn’t capture the monster. Monsters,” she corrected herself.
It had always been difficult for her to condemn her mother.
She told herself her father was charismatic and she was under his spell, but the truth was her mother was culpable.
She was every bit as guilty as her father for the crimes he committed. It was possible Harlow was as well.
Wilder transferred his hold to her nape, curling his palm and fingers around her neck.
It should have felt like a collar, but his hold made her feel safe in a way she’d never felt.
She didn’t trust it, and she didn’t want to ever fall into the trap of believing in someone who could shatter her fragile self-esteem and hard-won independence.
That meant she had to guard herself against longing for a relationship.
Or a family. Wilder was a temptation she couldn’t afford.
“There you go, mon rêve, shutting down when we were just getting somewhere. Talk to me about your photography. Your photographs are stunning. I can’t imagine that the lens you’re looking through lies to anyone.”
She stepped away from him and walked into the middle of her space. The high ceilings and spacious interior allowed her to breathe again when she wasn’t in such close contact with him. “That’s a kind thing to say, Wilder. I didn’t realize you’d ever looked at my photography work.”
He hesitated, and she spun around to look at him. It wasn’t like Wilder to be shy about his answers. He was a confident man. Hesitation from him was a little alarming because it was so out of character. She quirked an eyebrow at him.
“I don’t want to sound like a stalker,” he admitted, giving her a rueful grin.
Her stomach did a little flip at the sight of that sheepish smile. “I already know you have stalker tendencies.”
“I’ve visited every gallery where your work is for sale,” he admitted. “It’s truly incredible.”
Her stomach did that annoying flip again.
She ducked her head, afraid he could read her too easily.
“Then I’m going to take it as a compliment.
” Despite her resolve not to get involved with him, she couldn’t help liking that he appreciated her work.
Even that he’d gone to the trouble of finding the galleries selling her photos and visiting them.
Harlow didn’t doubt that he was telling the truth. Over the years, she’d learned to hear lies. She might not always be accurate, but she was close.
“Babe, you can show me around when you feel more comfortable. This is your sanctuary. I want to see your studio because this space is all you, but you have every right to ask me to wait. Or not show it to me at all.”
She didn’t want to disappoint him, but she was already feeling too vulnerable and raw. Too many memories had surfaced, ones she’d tried hard to keep buried.
Wilder came closer to her, his palm at her neck again, heating her bare skin.
“We’ll get us to a place where you believe I’ve earned your trust. For now, how about going for a walk?
Rainier approved when I told him I’d be walking with you.
He isn’t worried I’ll overdo it as long as I’m with you.
That should tell you how much faith Rainier has in you.
He thinks you can stop me from exceeding my limits. ”
“Is that possible?”
His light green gaze held hers with burning intensity. “Absolutely, you could. Haven’t you figured out yet that you’re the only person I’m going to trust with my life?”
Once again, his statement had a ring of honesty to it. His question did as well.
“Why me?”
“You’re everything I ever wanted in a woman.” He was decisive as he took her hand and tugged her toward the door. “That little beagle of yours will be happy for a long walk.”
“What did you want?” She tried not to sound as suspicious as she felt.
She was blessed with good looks. There was no denying that fact, but she didn’t want anyone to want her for her looks.
Because she didn’t allow anyone to get close to her, to know her, she couldn’t imagine what he thought he saw in her.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Harlow. You’re the most beautiful, sexiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.
I thought you were beautiful when I first saw you, but it wasn’t until I spent time watching you that I realized you were the woman for me.
Number one trait you have that is highest on my list—loyalty.
You aren’t the kind of woman to ever betray your man. ”
He held out his hand for the keys to her studio. She might not lock her house every time she went for a run, but she locked her studio. He carefully locked the door and handed her the keys.
“You don’t betray confidences. That is important to me. If I share my background, I wouldn’t want my woman confiding in anyone else, not even her friends. You wouldn’t do that,” he said with every confidence.
“Raine is beautiful and loyal and definitely would never betray a confidence,” she pointed out, determined not to let him make her a believer.
Misha dashed ahead as they took the path behind her studio toward the border of her property.
“Raine isn’t you. And I don’t poach on a brother’s territory. I prize loyalty, Harlow, so I would never be disloyal.”
She supposed that made sense. The truth was, she couldn’t help the warmth spreading through her at his very adamant statement that Raine wasn’t her.
She loved Raine and thought she was beautiful and intelligent.
She was loyal and absolutely would never betray a confidence.
She was also very lost. Harlow was protective of her.
Still, it felt good that Wilder chose her because, truthfully, Harlow had never really looked at anyone else.
“What do you mean you won’t poach on a brother’s territory?”
He tightened his grip around her hand and sent her a small grin. “Do you think I’d make a play for Stella, Vienna or Shabina?”
“No one in their right mind would make a play for any of those girls.”
The smile faded from his face, leaving those strong, chiseled lines. “We have a brotherhood. I only have a very small circle of friends, Harlow, and they mean the world to me. I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt them. That includes going after their woman.”
“I understand because I feel the same way when it comes to my circle of friends. They’re family to me,” she agreed. “I have never understood when a sister sleeps with her sibling’s boyfriend. It seems such a terrible betrayal.”
She indicated the fence line they were approaching, hoping to move on to lighter topics. “This is the border of my property. My neighbor Helen McKay has a little mini ranch. She’s obsessed with animals.”