Chapter Six
“Helen has goats and these little donkeys that are so cute,” Harlow said as they walked slowly along the fence line.
She matched her pace to Wilder’s, aware he was still weak.
He didn’t seem to realize it, but she knew from her years of nursing that patients didn’t recover as quickly as they expected from surgery.
The will was there, but human bodies weren’t made to take the shock of multiple stab wounds or bullets no matter how fit the person was.
She tugged at her hand. She didn’t hold hands with men.
She just plain didn’t hold hands. She wasn’t certain why she put her hand in his and walked close to him.
Instead of relinquishing his hold, Wilder tightened his fingers around hers, curled her wrist, and brought her hand to his chest as they strolled along the fence line.
She didn’t want Wilder to walk too far. The outdoor terrain was uneven.
There was a trail but no pavement. Grass and small rocks covered the ground.
Ground squirrels made holes in the soil.
Not just ground squirrels, but quite a few other animals.
It would be easy for him to step into a hole and hurt himself.
“You were telling me about your neighbor,” he prompted.
She sent him a small, genuinely amused smile. “You’re reading my mind again and want me to forget all about your safety.”
He gave an exaggerated groan. “Woman, I’m trying to impress you. The last thing I want is for you to think I’m going to fall on my face.”
“How is it you know what I’m thinking all the time? You claim it’s because I don’t have a poker face, but I’m beginning to think you really can read thoughts.”
“If only I could read your mind. I think I’d discover how you really feel about me.”
That mischievous note in his voice was disarming.
Wilder wasn’t the kind of man to play or tease.
There was a large part of her that loved the idea that Wilder felt comfortable enough to joke with her.
In her life, no one, especially not her parents, had ever made her feel special.
She had every advantage, but those advantages came with a steep price tag.
Feeling important or heard or even seen wasn’t part of those rewards.
Despite every reluctance, every objection, she was beginning to believe in Hawkin Wilder. That was very, very scary to her.
“Just because I’m attracted to you, Wilder, doesn’t mean we’d be good together,” she cautioned. “Eventually, that rush leaves and you’re left with the question of compatibility.” She did her best to sound wise and casual. It took effort to keep her voice from trembling.
“I just explained to you why we’re compatible.” He brought her hand up to his mouth and brushed a soft kiss along her knuckles. “I think friendship is a solid foundation for a long-term relationship. We’ll just keep working on that until you admit I’m the man destined to be with you.”
She couldn’t help laughing. “You’re impossible.”
“I just know what I want and need, Harlow. That would be you.”
“And are you going to continue to work for Blom?”
He tucked her hand against his chest and directed her along the fence toward the gate separating her property from her neighbor’s. “I think my time with Blom has officially come to an end. When I’m concerned about reporting to him that I’m still alive, trust has definitely been broken.”
Harlow heard the concern in his voice. He was genuinely worried that Blom had set him up to be ambushed and murdered. “Why would he want to do that? You aren’t the only one. From the little I know, it sounded as if there was a traitor feeding enemies information on various agents.”
“We knew there was a leak a couple of years ago. One agent was ambushed, and no one should have known where he was. Our tech guys looked into everyone. They set up traps. Nothing came of it. Then, suddenly, agents we sent into the casino last year disappeared. We never found their bodies, but we knew there was a leak. Several went in undercover. Blom ran that operation exclusively. Several attempts on Zale and Rainier’s lives were made.
Again, everyone was scrutinized. I believe even Raine was pulled in on that investigation. ”
Harlow could understand. Raine had been present with the other women when Zale and Rainier had been attacked. Not just once, but multiple times. Rainier and Zale had come to the Airbnb that the women had rented. Vienna helped them, but in the end, they had to call in a doctor for Rainier’s wound.
It worried her that Wilder had found his way to her home in the middle of the night, and Rainier was helping him hide from Blom.
Wilder’s employer was a very powerful man.
She had no doubt that he could order Wilder’s death and never be held accountable.
What would he do when he found out Wilder was alive, and Rainier was aiding him?
“What do you plan on doing?”
His gaze met hers. His entire demeanor had changed. His eyes were the eyes of a predator, glacier-cold, merciless. A little shiver went through her. She was looking at the Wilder she feared him to be. She knew him to be. She’d just allowed herself to forget because he had that sweet side to him.
“Whoever is betraying us has gotten several good men killed.” His voice was low, an intense weapon that brooked no argument.
Harlow had no doubt that he was going to find the traitor, and whoever was betraying the agents would be taken somewhere far from help and subjected to interrogation methods she didn’t want to know anything about.
“Someone has to protect our people, Harlow. You should have been protected. Hell, I should have been protected. I made up my mind, at a very young age, that I would develop the skills to stop the predators from destroying the lives of innocents.”
“So you made yourself into a predator,” she said.
She wasn’t judging him. She had grown up desperate for protection from the very people who were supposed to keep her safe.
There had been no one. She knew her father was a criminal and her mother was complicit.
The world did need men like Wilder. Some might even call him a hero.
She just knew she wanted him. She knew he was the one.
She also feared she would always be afraid he would turn his skills against her if she didn’t comply the way her mother always had.
The gentleness in his voice was so disarming.
Too disarming. She didn’t want to ever be like her mother.
Childhood examples of right or wrong could be self-perpetuating.
Everything her mother had done, when it came to her father, was wrong in Harlow’s eyes.
She didn’t want to take a chance on being that person.
She didn’t want to stand by in silence while her man did something very, very criminally wrong.
“I tried to tell my tutors about my father. I warned every new maid we had. It earned me beatings, but I wanted to save them. I wanted someone to save me.” The confession poured out of her despite her determination to stay quiet, to not give him any more of herself.
Wilder was silent, clearly comprehending the extent of what was behind her statement. She allowed the rest to come pouring out. Maybe she felt safe because he wasn’t a saint and would never be. She couldn’t live up to sainthood.
“No one believed me when I was a child, so I stopped trying. Since then, I stood up for one person and forced my mother to help, but had I talked my friend into reporting the senator to the police, maybe this woman who has disappeared and is presumed dead would still be alive. Even after that incident with my friend, I knew he continued his behaviors, but I left as soon as possible and never said a word to anyone. Doesn’t that make me the same as my mother? ”
“Did you have any proof? Something the cops would believe and give the district attorney enough to risk trying to prosecute a United States senator? One beloved? One in line to run for president?”
There was no challenge in his voice. If anything, his tone was mild.
Gentle. But he was persuasive. She had never been believed, and she didn’t have proof.
Her mother would have denied everything and concocted some story about Harlow’s mental health.
Wilder had made a telling point. She had always been intelligent enough to know her parents had the upper hand.
“I left and made a life for myself apart from them, but I’ve always felt guilty, as if, like my mother, I covered up for my father.”
“That isn’t the case, though, Harlow.”
He swept an arm around her and pulled her beneath his shoulder protectively.
Even as he did, she felt him wince. It was so minute, she doubted if anyone else would have caught it, but she was very attuned to him, especially after missing so much when he’d made his way to her in the middle of the night.
She still felt guilty that she’d been so wrapped up in her own misery that she hadn’t realized just how hurt he really was.
He’d nearly died because she had been neglectful.
“Woman.” There was amused exasperation in his tone. “You never cut yourself a break, do you?”
“Ha! I knew you were capable of reading minds. There is no way you saw my face and read my expression. That had to come straight from you invading my privacy! Believe me, you don’t want to be running around in my head. It’s a dangerous place.”
To her astonishment, Wilder laughed, the sound rich and low. Perfect. He looked younger and much more carefree. It didn’t last, but she knew that memory was locked in her mind for all time. “I have no idea why it’s so easy to be with you, especially because you scare the hell out of me.”
“Because you know you’re the one person in this world I would never hurt under any circumstances.”
“Even if we were in a relationship and I cheated on you?”