Chapter 14
14
Aaron
Fuck. She’s a virgin. I don’t know why that information punches me straight in the dick, but it does. I have an instant case of blue balls, and I don’t like the fact that I’m pretty much a cliché at the moment, but it takes everything I have in me not to throw her over my shoulder and help her cross item three off the list.
Holly has never looked as beautiful as she does now. Standing in front of me, baring her vulnerability for me… It makes a lump form in my throat. I cup her face and lead her to the couch by the fire.
She doesn’t say a word as she stares at our intertwined fingers. I knew that dickhead Ben broke up with her because she wouldn’t fuck him, but I’d figured, with her being in university, she would’ve… Jesus, I don’t know if I’m stereotyping her or what the hell I’m doing.
When we sit down, Holly won’t meet my gaze. This is a hell of a thing for her to have confessed, and I need her to know I’m not taking this lightly, despite my caveman instincts. “Holly, I’m a little surprised.”
Her eyes flash to mine. “Why? Is there an age limit to losing your virginity?”
Her tone, posture, everything about her is defensive.
“No. Fuck. I’m not trying to be a dick.” I run a hand through my hair. “It’s just… It’s on your list and, I mean, it’s a big deal.”
She starts laughing, which breaks the tension a bit. “Was it a big deal when you lost yours?”
“No but…” I’m about to dig a hole for myself. I know it.
“But because I’m a woman I should be guarding my virtue with my life?”
She looks so fucking sexy when she’s annoyed.
“No, I just know you, and I know this is important to you.”
She swallows hard. “That’s why I want to give my virginity up to you.”
I blink so rapidly that it looks like a club in here on full strobe mode. I’m instantly hard as stone and I don’t know what to say. Aaron, don’t get ahead of yourself. This is definitely not something you should be thinking of doing.
She laughs again. “I’m not asking you to marry me. Just to have sex with me. And…” Her cheeks flame. “Maybe help with some of the other stuff on the list.”
Jesus.
I clear my throat and hold out my hand. “I didn’t get past item three. Can I see the list again?”
She takes the now-crumpled piece of paper out of her pocket. “If you laugh, I will punch you in the balls.”
“I’m not gonna laugh, Trouble. Let me see.”
She hands it to me, then gets up and walks to the fire. It’s nice and toasty in here, but she holds out her hands to the flames and rubs them together as if she’s chilled. I know it’s hard for her to put herself out here like this, so I want to reassure her as quickly as possible that she has nothing to feel uncomfortable about.
I smooth out the paper and start reading.
Travel to a new country.
Learn a new skill/job.
Lose virginity.
Skinny dip (hopefully somewhere warm).
Naked snow angels? (Do I have a cold fetish? Look into this).
Learn how to give an epic blowjob.
Role play.
Fucking where I could get caught.
Primal Play/Ghostface.
Get a tattoo.
Sing karaoke.
Jesus fuck! I try not to react because there is shit on this list that makes my blood run cold to think of anyone else doing this with her. Okay, everything on this list makes me want to tear any potential prospect's dick off but primal play and ghostface with someone she doesn’t know is not going to happen. I don’t even know what this shit is? Isn’t ghostface from that slasher movie? And primal play? I need to research this. I would burn down the fucking world to make sure I’m the one to see her list through. To protect her. I’ve wanted to make Holly mine for years, and now I can.
I look up at her. “How much of this list do you want my help with?”
She turns to face me. “I think I can do the tattoo and the karaoke by myself.” She laughs nervously.
“And if I said I wanted to do those with you too?”
“You’d want to come with me when I get a tattoo?”
“I would.”
“How about the karaoke?”
“No. You’re on your own with that.” I laugh.
She taps her finger to her lips. “I might just scratch that off the list.”
“Oh no, you don’t. If it’s on the list, it’s on the list.”
“Why do I think you just making this rule because of certain items on the list?”
“Because you’re a highly intelligent woman?”
She snorts. “I can’t fault you there.”
This banter is all good and well to ease the tension, but this is serious.
“Holly, are you sure you want to do this with me?” Please say yes. I need to hear you say yes.
“Yes. There isn’t anyone else I want to do this with. I know you’d never hurt me or disrespect me. I trust you, Aaron.”
A mix of emotions rush through me at her confession. I blow out a breath. The only thing that would make this more perfect was if she wanted me to fuck her because she was in love with me. But I’ll take what I can get. Even if it means I’m only fulfilling her curiosity about her childhood crush. And as much as I’m sure I’m going to be hurt, I know it will all be worth it in the end. With me, she can fulfil her list in a safe way.
I clear my throat. “So... what would you like to start with first?”
Holly bites her lip. “I think it’s best if we just get the whole losing my virginity thing out of the way.”
I scratch my lip to cover my smile as I cross the room to where she’s standing. I need to be near her. “Gee, I can’t wait. It sounds so romantic.”
She hits me on the chest. “You know what I mean.”
I take her hands and stare into her eyes. “Holly, this isn’t something to be flippant about. I’m going to make it special for you. Whether it’s our first time together or our hundredth time. I’ll make you feel good every single time. So, get it out of your head that I’m going to fuck you over a chair or something just so you can cross it off your list because I’ve been thinking of having you beneath me for longer than I should admit. I want this to be good for both of us.”
Now it’s her turn to blink rapidly. “I…I just meant that I’ll be thinking about it all the time, so I thought getting it out of the way would be easier. Like a kiss before the date, you know? Ugh, I’m not explaining this right.”
I cup her face and brush my thumb over her lip. “Trouble, when I’m done with you, you’ll be thinking about it for days. Every time you move, sit, or close your legs, you’ll feel me. And it won’t have anything to do with that short amount of pain you’ll feel when I take your virginity.”
I don’t know how many times Holly has blushed since I arrived, but every time she does, I fall a little more in love with her. Does she know how fucking sexy she is? Her lethal combination of innocence and sensuality is driving me wild. And right now, with her biting her lip and staring at me with those wide eyes, it’s really goddamn hard for me not to kiss her.
“Let’s build up to item three. You’ve already accomplished item one and two, how about we start with your tattoo?”
An unreadable expression settles on her face, and for a second, I’m not sure what it’s about. Then it hits me. She thinks I’m giving her the brush off. “Holly, you have no idea how turned on I am. Christ, I would love nothing more than to be balls deep in you right now. But I want this to be good for you. Please trust me. Please let me make this special. I care about you too much for it to be a quick fuck.”
I don’t wait for her answer because I know words can’t be enough at a moment when she has to be feeling so vulnerable. So, I do the only thing I can think of. I kiss her the way I wanted to kiss her yesterday, how I kissed her in my dreams last night. And how I pictured kissing her in the shower this morning while I found my release. I kiss her the way I wanted to kiss her the night I dragged her out of that party at Harties. My legs just about give out on me because I am finally getting to kiss Holly the way I’ve dreamt of since I was fifteen years old. She tastes so fucking sweet—better than I ever imagined. I groan into her mouth and deepen the kiss, taking everything I deprived myself of all these years. I can’t allow myself to think of what Spencer would say or do. It’s all about this moment. Nothing in my wildest imaginings, fantasies, or dreams could have prepared me for the intensity of my emotions. Holly’s hands slide up neck and plays with the hair at my nape. The world stops. My senses are invaded with all things Holly in a way that nearly brings me to my knees. I can barely think. The only thought running through my brain is how perfect this kiss is.
How the fuck am I going to survive the day she walks out of my life?