Chapter 25
25
Holly
“Don’t answer it.” Aaron mumbles the words against my inner thigh as he kisses his way up my leg.
“It’s probably my mum. If I don’t answer, she’ll keep calling.”
“Okay, but here’s a little incentive to keep the call short.”
He licks up my leg, then flicks his tongue over my clit.
I squirm. “Stop it.”
He grins wickedly at me. “Answer the phone.”
I pick it up and see it’s my brother. “Hey, Spence.”
Aaron all but jumps off me as if I’m on fire, then backtracks until he hits his desk. He looks petrified.
I put the phone on speaker and lay it on the bed. Aaron collapses into his chair.
“Hey, little sis, how are things?”
“I’m having the best time.” I wink at Aaron, but instead of smirking like I expect him to, he just stares blankly at me.
“Would I be cramping your style if I come over for the last two weeks? I’ve been saving up to buy a new bike but I thought I’d use it on a holiday instead. I could come over and we could travel back together since Celine is still in the US.”
It’s just like Spence to get straight to the point. I hate that I’m disappointed that he will be here for the last two weeks I have with Aaron. And I’m sure he will hear it in my voice, so I deflect. “How do you know Celine is still in the US?”
There’s silence on the other side of the line. “She told me.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, we’ve been chatting.”
I glance at Aaron to see his reaction to this little bit of information, but he’s holding his head in his hands. I frown. I wonder why he looks so bummed. I mean, yeah, Spence will be here, but this will be the perfect opportunity to tell my brother we’re in love.
“Interesting.”
“What do you mean by that?”
I really want to get to the bottom of what’s going on with Aaron, so I brush it off. “Well, what do you mean you’ve been chatting to Celine?”
“Just chatting. I’ve been checking in to see how her signing has been going.”
“Right.” I draw the word out. “Do you like her?” This must be what Celine wanted to tell me the other night.
“What if I said I do?”
“I think you’re both adults and can do whatever you want to do.” This may or may not be a dig at him for always trying to run my life.
“And it isn’t weird that she’s your best friend?”
“Why would it be? As long as you two don’t tell me about your gross sex stories—if it ever gets to that—then I’m fine with it.”
“Jesus, Holly.”
I laugh. “Are you gonna ask her out?”
“Yeah, probably. When she gets back,” he says.
“So, I doubt you’re only going to be holding hands on that date. I know you.”
“This is different.” There’s a softness in my brother’s voice that I’ve never really heard when he talked about girls before.
“You really do like her?” I can’t hide the surprise in my voice. They’ve always been civil to each other, but I never noticed any chemistry between them.
“I do.”
“Then who am I to get in the way of that?” Another subtle dig. Well, not so subtle.
Now would be a good time to tell him that Aaron and I are getting along, but Aaron is holding his head in his hands like he’s experiencing the end of the world, so I don’t.
“When will you be arriving?” I ask
“I’ll let you know later this week. I need to work some things out first.”
“Cool, let me know. I’ve missed you.” I really have, but I’m selfish about the time I have left with Aaron. I push that thought aside because I don’t want to look like Aaron does at the moment.
“I’ve missed you too. When you see Aaron, tell him I’ve been trying to call him all morning.”
Aaron doesn’t even react at the sound of his name. I need to figure out what’s wrong.
“Will do. Gotta go. Bye, Spence.”
Aaron doesn’t move. I walk over to him and tip his chin up so his eyes meet mine—exactly what he does to me all the time. His hands go to my waist, and I cup his face.
“Aaron, what’s wrong?”
He leans back in the chair and runs his hands down his face. “You know, I knew this was going to end, but I didn’t think it was going to end this soon.”
I know how he feels. My stomach sinks every time I think of going home. Aaron hasn’t expressed the desire for this to continue beyond these six weeks despite our declaration of love. But maybe it’s time for me to broach the subject. “What if it didn’t have to end?”
He shoots me an incredulous look. “You want to have a long-distance relationship?” God, this is nerve-wracking. It might be even worse than when I asked him to help me with the list.
“Not exactly. I thought maybe I’d stay in Scotland.”
Aaron pales and lifts me off his lap, gently setting me on my feet. He walks to the window and intertwines his fingers behind his neck. My stomach plummets. This is not good.
“Aaron?” My voice is small, and dread coils in my stomach.
He releases his neck and his shoulders slump. He turns to face me. “I love you.” He pauses.
“But?”
“But in two weeks this has to end.”
I take a step back. “I see.”
My throat burns, and my eyes sting. But I refuse to cry and emotionally blackmail him. Boy, did I misread the situation. I grab my pants and pull them on. “I understand. I’m just going to head to my room. I need a shower.” I make a big thing of sniffing my armpits. “I’m rank.” I turn on my heels and head for the door.
“Holly, wait. Please let me explain.”
I want to flee. Run as fast as I can away from this heartbreak and humiliation, but I hate it when I’m reading a book, and the characters refuse to listen to each other. I turn and wrap my arms around my middle.
“Please come here.” Aaron opens his arms, and I don’t hesitate to take the comfort his arms will give. Even though he’s the person making me cry right now, it’s his arms I want to be in. The minute he pulls me to his chest, the tears I was trying to hold back fall, and I want to kick myself. He kisses the top of my head and puts a little distance between us and studies my face.
His face contorts with pain, and he wipes my tears away. “Please don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry, I really didn’t want to cry and make you feel bad. We had a deal, and I’m the idiot who broke it by bringing this up.”
“Holly, if I lived in South Africa or you lived here, I wouldn’t hesitate to keep this relationship going. I love you. I’ve always loved you. God, what we’ve shared has been beyond anything I could’ve imagined. But you deserve more than a life with a guy who runs a pub. You deserve the world. And no matter how much I’m going to hate myself for letting you go, I will not clip your wings. You deserve better than this.”
I cup his face. “Baby, no. Is that really what you think? That being here would clip my wings? I’ve lived more in this month than I have in my whole life. I mentioned before that I don’t wake up with a knot in my stomach anymore. For the first time in my life, I feel safe. Do you have any idea what a gift that is?”
I run a hand down his cheek. “I’ve loved you since you came into our lives. And I know in my heart that I will never stop loving you.”
His eyes glisten and a tear tracks down his face. I walk to my laptop and pull up my manuscript. “Before you make up your mind, please read my story. It’s our love story. The story of how a broken and beaten girl found her wings. You didn’t clip my wings, Aaron, you gave me the strength to fly.”
I turn and walk to the door. When I step out of the room and hear the soft click of the door, I bend over, struggling to breathe. The pain is unbearable.
I pray with everything I have that when Aaron reads my story, he will know unequivocally that he has given me more than he could ever know. I put my heart and soul into the pages of the story.
Our story . It’s the best thing I’ve ever written. And Professor Johnson was right. I needed to find my voice. I just needed my freedom to do so.