Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
RACHEL
W e were just dancing together, but that was different. More a group thing, and even though a few of the teens have paired off to dance to this song, too, this feels weightier.
I should laugh it off. Tell him he’s getting too into it. But my hand slides into his before I can think too hard about it. He pulls me closer, his other hand settling firmly against the small of my back, the warmth of his palm burning through the thin cotton of my tank top.
He sways us gently in the dimly lit garage, and I let myself settle into the rhythm, my body moving in sync with his.
This close, I swear I can hear his heartbeat, or maybe that’s the bass of the song, curling around me the same as his cedar scent or the way his fingers curl over mine.
It suddenly seems impossible to focus on anything else.
“I think they pass the audition,” Nick murmurs after a long moment, his breath tickling the top of my head.
The band hasn’t made any mistakes this song, or maybe I wasn’t paying enough attention, too wrapped up in Nick instead. “Yeah, they’re good.”
“Are you a sucker for 80s power ballads?”
I huff a quiet laugh, looking up at him and expecting to find a teasing gleam in his gaze.
But as our eyes lock, there’s something soft and unspoken lingering there.
Something that makes my pulse stutter, the whole world narrowing to just the two of us, his hand still holding mine like he has no intention of letting go.
Swallowing hard, I glance away, trying to focus on the melody wrapping around us. “You caught me,” I say, forcing some levity back into our dynamic. “Now you know my weakness.”
“That makes two things on my list.”
“What’s the other?”
“Eleven-eleven wishes.”
That’s right. “Looks like we missed it for today.” It’s already dinner time.
“There’s still tonight.”
The fluttering in my chest from earlier strengthens. He makes it sound like we’ll be together tonight. Which we won’t. Obviously. Why would we be together that late?
Did it suddenly get really hot?
The song ends and I pull away, clearing my throat as I try to shake off the moment. I catch Brody’s eye, who’s oblivious to whatever was going on between me and Nick.
“Do you want to hear more?” Brody asks hopefully. Behind him, the bassist has an equally hopeful look as she bites her bottom lip and the drummer pushes his now-sweaty hair out of his eyes.
“You’ve got the gig,” I tell him, fairly sure Nick’s in agreement with me, and plug my ears at the raucous response from the crowd.
“Holy crap,” I mutter, moving out from the middle of the group so I don’t get trampled in what I’m afraid is going to turn into a mosh pit with the way they’re reacting.
Nick is laughing as he follows me out, his hand on my lower back, guiding me and making sure I’m not accidentally elbowed or hit in the teenagers’ enthusiasm.
“Let me go exchange info with Brody,” he says, leaning in close so I can hear him. “Meet you at the truck.”
I nod, the sensation of his hand on me still there even when he’s gone, as if the shape of it is etched in my skin.
I turn toward the truck, shaking my head at myself. This thing between me and Nick… My heart gallops around in my chest, swooping every which way. Is it even anything? Am I imagining it?
And more importantly, do I want it to be anything?
I’m mostly silent on the way back to my house, staring out the window thinking everything over. I haven’t felt attraction like this in forever.
Attraction is the word I’ve been searching for all this time. That sudden tension back in high school when I sensed his gaze on me. The restlessness that’s been growing inside me for the past month as we’ve danced around each other, first figuratively and now literally.
Sydney telling me I’ve always been weird around him.
Jae saying Nick couldn’t take his eyes off me.
I squeeze my eyes shut. I’m not ready for this. It still feels like what happened between me and Kyle was yesterday, instead of six months ago. How stupid I felt. How betrayed.
And opening myself up to someone again… I don’t know if I can do it. Not so soon, at least. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? That’s all on me. And I never want to be that naive again.
But what am I supposed to do? Never live my life because one guy was a jackass to me?
The truck shuts off and I realize we’re in my driveway. Wow, talk about getting lost in my thoughts.
“Are we still pranking Kyle?” Nick asks, looking over at me.
I still haven’t heard anything from Kyle since that first time Nick visited my house. I have no idea if he’s seen the footage, if it’s even affecting him. But something in me is compelled to say, “Yes. If you don’t mind.”
I savor the crinkles around his eyes as he grins. “You want to follow my lead?”
I search his face, taking in the warmth of his brown eyes, his easy smile, his strong jaw. Would it be so terrible to open my heart a little to this man? Just to see what happens?
Nodding, I exit the truck and follow him up the porch steps, my heart thumping loudly in my chest. He’s angled within view of the doorbell and doesn’t move to block it when I join him.
“I had a great time at dinner.”
Oh, is that our cover story? We’ve been on a dinner date this whole time? “Me, too,” I murmur, going along with it.
“I’ve been thinking about getting you alone all night.”
His gaze flicks down to my mouth for a moment, and my breath hitches. “Yeah?” I can’t disguise the hopeful note in my voice. That part of me that wishes he wasn’t acting is alive and kicking. “What were you thinking of specifically?”
I swear his eyes darken, the rich brown swallowed by shadow, leaving them nearly onyx. It’s not only the porch lighting, it’s the steady way he’s looking at me, the air thick with intent. My pulse kicks as the weight of his gaze settles over me, turning molten.
He moves toward me, and I sway forward, drawn in to his gravitational pull. If I get too close, I might fall right in.
“Touching you,” he murmurs, his hand coming up to tuck the loose wisps of my hair behind my ear. His thumb travels down, sliding slowly over my jaw, then my lips. “Kissing you.”
Tension coils tight in my chest, wanting to close the distance between us, to just let it happen and see if his lips are as warm and sure as his hand was in mine earlier.
I can’t deny what’s written all over his face. He’s dying to kiss me. But is it acting? Or real?
“Please,” I whisper, and the request barely leaves my lips before he’s kissing me like he’s starved, his hand cupping my jaw, keeping me in place while his mouth moves greedily over mine.
Oh God, that’s good. There’s a buzzing in my veins, lighting me up from the inside out. As if this isn’t only a kiss, but an unraveling, a flame catching after smoldering for far too long.
His hands settle at my waist, firm and sure, the warmth of his touch sending a shiver up my spine in the most delicious way possible.
He kisses me like he can’t get enough, like something he’s wanted for a long time, and the realization sends my heart hammering against my ribs.
I don’t think I was the only one feeling the attraction all this time.
A car honks in the distance, and it’s enough to break us apart, but only a fraction. His forehead rests against mine and I feel like we just ran a marathon with the way we’re both panting.
“Come inside?” I say, not sure if it’s a question or command, but he nods, his uneven breaths tickling the back of my neck as I turn and unlock the front door.
When the door shuts and we’re out of sight and hearing of any cameras, I ask him, “Was that kiss for real?”
He’s silent, gaze flicking over me. It’s as if he’s waging some internal war, emotions playing out over his face until he simply says, “Yes.”
I nod and reach for him, loving the way he groans my name before he takes my mouth again, his head tilting, deepening the kiss. I’m dazed, a hunger raging through me I can’t recall experiencing before. It feels like I haven’t been touched in forever.
He pulls me further into the house, still kissing me, and I blissfully follow his lead as he draws us down onto the couch, my legs straddling his lap.
Some of the haze leaves me as I feel him, hard and hot, right there . Did I really work him up that much from just kissing?
My knee knocks into something—the remote, I think—and it’s only then I realize we’re sitting in the same spot Kyle was in when he told me he was leaving me. That he had cheated on me.
The dissonance jars me and I jerk back. What am I doing?
Yes, Nick and I have grown closer over the last month, but I… I barely know him. How can I trust him? I need more time. This is happening too fast.
I climb off his lap, crossing my arms over my chest as I move to the other side of the living room.
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” I look at him once, but the confusion and hurt on his face is too much to bear, and I stare at the rug instead.
“I don’t think I’m ready for anything with anyone.
” Not if I still can’t get what Kyle did out of my head. That’s not fair to Nick.
“Why?”
How am I supposed to answer that? I can’t tell him I’m afraid he’ll cheat on me one day. That I couldn’t take it again. Especially because Nick seems so wonderful. It’s almost like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop with him.
“Not my business, I get it,” he says when I take too long to reply.
He stands, and my gaze gets stuck on his erection tenting the front of his pants. I bite my lip, remembering how good it felt against my core. Am I an idiot for stopping this?
“I guess I’ll get back to work.”
That’s right. He’s been on the clock this whole time.
He stalks to the front door, then pauses, his hand on the knob. “Damn it. I’m not supposed to leave yet, am I? In case Kyle thinks we’re in here fucking.”
I’m silent at his crude words, heat touching my cheeks at the reminder of what that kiss might have led to if I hadn’t stopped us.
“Shit, I’m sorry.” He doesn’t seem mad. More… frustrated. And why wouldn’t he be? I got him hot and bothered, then wouldn’t follow through.
He changes direction toward my kitchen, unlocks the back door, and leaves.
I sink on unsteady legs to the couch, regret and embarrassment filling me as I bury my face in my hands. What did I just do?
And how do I fix it?