Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty Five
Finn
Brody wasn’t at the rink when I arrived for practice.
He wasn’t there when I left the rink.
I texted him, but I didn’t get a response.
He was clearly showing me he needed space, and I hated the feeling it created inside of me.
I met Marcus for dinner and then ventured home alone. My mind and body were restless as I watched my phone, begging and pleading for it to show a sign of life from Brody.
It wasn’t until I was in bed and just about asleep that Brody finally texted me back.
Brody: I’m not ignoring you. I don’t know what to say. I need time to think everything over. I told you how I felt about being thrust into the public eye.
I read over the message as tears filled my eyes. I knew I shouldn’t have been so cocky in the press conferences. I shouldn’t have alluded to our relationship. It didn’t matter how I felt. I hadn’t considered Brody.
Me: I wish I could change your mind, but I know I can’t. Reach out when you are ready to talk.
He didn’t respond. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat. I just watched the ceiling of my bedroom until dawn, and then put on the same clothes as yesterday.
***
At our next game, I felt like hell.
I also played like I was a rookie, and it was my first game. I missed easy passes and made sloppy mistakes. Coach screamed at me from the bench, but I ignored his rants. When he made a line change, I sat at the end of the bench, sulking.
This was a nightmare. I was letting my team down, but there wasn’t anything I could do. My head just wasn’t in the game. Thankfully, Coach didn’t put me back in, but we lost the game.
In the locker room, everyone huddled around, sulking, as they began to prepare for an ass-chewing.
Coming into the locker room like a tornado, Coach was beyond angry.
“What happened out there was embarrassing,” he roared.
I sat with my head in my hands, knowing there was nothing I could do or say right now to make it any better.
“The vibe was off,” Marcus spoke up. As our fearless leader, he always tried to be motivational but honest.
“I have eyes. I can see that the vibe was off.” Coach looked my way, meeting my stare, and I gulped. “If your head isn’t in the game, then you have no business stepping on the ice.”
I knew his words were intended for me, and that made me feel even worse. Coach went on to say that we would work harder at our next practice. A couple of the guys groaned, and the anger inside me swelled until I felt like I was going to burst.
My heart was pounding, stupid fast, like before a playoff overtime.
I said, “I have something.”
Coach raised his eyebrows. “Go ahead.”
I looked around. Every guy in the room was watching me, like I was about to start a new kind of fight. I needed to let them know this loss was on me. And that meant being open and honest.
I took a breath.
“I’m done hiding,” I said. My voice sounded weird, too loud, as if it belonged to someone else.
“You all know about Brody and me. Or you think you do. It doesn’t matter.
What we had may be over because of my own demise.
What I really want to say is that I’m sorry.
I’m really fucking sorry. I have a few things to work through, and then I promise, I will be back on my game.
But today, keep your heads up. You all played a hell of a game, and I appreciate you all trying to pick up my slack.
” I finished speaking and let out a heavy breath.
Sean was the first to say something. “I can see you are hurting, and you don’t owe us anything.”
Jack chimed in next. “Yeah, we are a team. When one of us is down, it’s all our jobs to pick that man up.”
A feeling of pride filled me. I didn’t deserve my team. These guys were my brothers. My family.
Marcus slapped me on the back. “It takes a lot of guts to admit when you are wrong. Work through what you need to, and when you are ready to get back out there with us, we will be ready.”
I almost cried from how proud I was of them. I turned to Coach, and his expression had softened a little. He nodded my way, not speaking, but he didn’t need to. I understood from that simple gesture that he agreed with the team.
Guys filed out, some giving me space, some offering a pat on the shoulder, a nod. Nash hung back, saying, “You want company?”
I said, “No. But thanks.”
He squeezed my arm anyway. “You did good, Finn.”
“Thanks, man.” I smiled at him.
“You want to go grab a drink with us?” Leo offered.
Shaking my head, I sighed. “No. There is something that I need to do.”